Intercaste marriage

[Guest What?]

This is a non-issue, intercaste isn't a thing Sikhs believe in. Pick a direction in life and stick to it, if you love this guy and you feel you're disobeying your parents because you're a different caste then quite frankly it's clear you dont follow Sikhi.

Another thing is if your parents pressure you over marrying within a 'caste' then they dont have your best intentions at heart meaning their 'love' for you is conditional based on you following their orders. What will you follow when they leave their earthly vessel? Who will you bow down to next? Where will your next instruction come from? These are the vicious cycles non-Sikhs will have to die with and last thing you want to do is die with regret. Die with decency, honour and duty knowing you followed ideals much higher than that of a humans mind I.e. Sikhi

 

This very thing has happened to someone I know and they married 'intercaste' as amritdhari sikhs on both sides. If you question your loyalty now to your partner then you run the risk of regretting later. First correct yours and your partners psyche before approaching marriage as it is a life long commitment.

If your families wont accept then you must ensure you have a strong bond that you can live with eachother for life alone without support as the worst case. If you're shaky now then your risk is too high and later you divorce you will have no one in support. Decide wisely and aim to change the minds of your family without being emotional about it as decisions based on emotion usually fail long term. Understand what your Guru is telling you in reference to caste through Gurbani and convey only that, if that does not change your families mind then they're too primitive to understand higher belief and therefore you need to make a calculated decision with your partner whether to pursue marriage alone together or stay within your imaginary 'caste' to appease your family. Do not complain or try and back peddle on decisions later after the wrong ones have been made.

 

Sorry if this sounds harsh but it is the truth, nobody likes it but it is what it is...

Waheguru!

[puzzled]

On ‎11‎/‎5‎/‎2020 at 8:28 AM, Koi said:

Much like your guy, my friend risked it all to make it work. It's been almost a year since she betrayed him, but he's still suffering,

It's gnna take him some time to get over it. I was with a girl back when I was a teenager for a year and then we broke up, took me over 5 years to get over her! 5 of the most miserable years of my life. 

Thing is we both were very very stubborn. When we broke up I was to stubborn to approach her and it was the same with her. She made a few attempts to talk to me.

But I believe everything happens for a reason.

When you are in love it feels as if no one else has loved before and that you are the first, it's the best feeling ever. Your always happy and nothing feels better than being with that person. I personally don't think theres any other emotion or experience that comes close to it. 

And then when you break up it all comes crashing down. It hurts. Not just the breakup but all the plans you had made, we will do this, do that, go here, go there, your whole future and everything you had planned gets destroyed. And then you are left feeling lost and without meaning or purpose. 

Problem is dating is very different to marriage, many people fail to see the difference. 

People need to be more wise when it comes to these things, but obviously your emotions take over. 

I've realised emotions make you weak, it makes everything foggy and you end up making weak decisions. 

[GurjantGnostic]

39 minutes ago, puzzled said:

It's gnna take him some time to get over it. I was with a girl back when I was a teenager for a year and then we broke up, took me over 5 years to get over her! 5 of the most miserable years of my life. 

Thing is we both were very very stubborn. When we broke up I was to stubborn to approach her and it was the same with her. She made a few attempts to talk to me.

But I believe everything happens for a reason.

When you are in love you feel like no one else has loved before and that you are the first, it's the best feeling ever. Your always happy and nothing feels better than being with that person. I personally don't think theres any other emotion or experience that comes close to it. 

And then when you break up it all comes crashing down. Its hurts. Not just the breakup but all the plans you had made, we will do this, do that, go here, go there, your whole future and everything you had planned gets destroyed. And then you are left feeling lost and without meaning or purpose. 

Problem is dating is very different to marriage, many people fail to see the difference. 

People need to be more wise when it comes to these things, but obviously your emotions take over. 

I've realised emotions make you weak, it makes everything foggy and you end up making weak decisions. 

Amen bro. 

Page 1377, Line 10

ਕਬੀਰ ਜਉ ਤੁਹਿ ਸਾਧ ਪਿਰੰਮ ਕੀ ਪਾਕੇ ਸੇਤੀ ਖੇਲੁ ॥

कबीर जउ तुहि साध पिरम की पाके सेती खेलु ॥

Kabīr ja▫o ṯuhi sāḏẖ piramm kī pāke seṯī kẖel.

Kabeer, if you desire to play the game of love with the Lord, play it with someone with committment.

[Guest hilarity]

3 hours ago, puzzled said:

It's gnna take him some time to get over it. I was with a girl back when I was a teenager for a year and then we broke up, took me over 5 years to get over her! 5 of the most miserable years of my life. 

Thing is we both were very very stubborn. When we broke up I was to stubborn to approach her and it was the same with her. She made a few attempts to talk to me.

But I believe everything happens for a reason.

When you are in love you feel like no one else has loved before and that you are the first, it's the best feeling ever. Your always happy and nothing feels better than being with that person. I personally don't think theres any other emotion or experience that comes close to it. 

And then when you break up it all comes crashing down. Its hurts. Not just the breakup but all the plans you had made, we will do this, do that, go here, go there, your whole future and everything you had planned gets destroyed. And then you are left feeling lost and without meaning or purpose. 

Problem is dating is very different to marriage, many people fail to see the difference. 

People need to be more wise when it comes to these things, but obviously your emotions take over. 

I've realised emotions make you weak, it makes everything foggy and you end up making weak decisions. 

Reply *DELETED*

[MisterrSingh]

3 hours ago, puzzled said:

It's gnna take him some time to get over it. I was with a girl back when I was a teenager for a year and then we broke up, took me over 5 years to get over her! 5 of the most miserable years of my life. 

FIVE years?!? You must've had it bad.

Funny thing is she moved on after a few weeks, if that, while you were reduced to walking around like a jogi, wearing earrings like Ranjha for 5 years.

[puzzled]

34 minutes ago, MisterrSingh said:

FIVE years?!? You must've had it bad.

Funny thing is she moved on after a few weeks, if that, while you were reduced to walking around like a jogi, wearing earrings like Ranjha for 5 years.

Yes it took me quite some time lol, I guess it depends on the individual and how one experiences different emotions, also because she was the first one I experienced that emotion with.

She definitely did get over me sooner than I did lol. But It took her time as well, at least 3 years. We had a few mutual friends and 3 years into our breakup she did tell a mutual friend she wants to meet me and I agreed but we never got to me up as by this time she was living over 1 hour away. That was the last time and soon after that she officially was with someone else lol. Between those 3 years she did make 1 or 2 attempts to meet up with me, but interestingly every time I tried something always happened the last minute which prevented us to meet.

She was the only one who made any effort to talk to me again, I really wanted to but was stubborn AF and acted as if I didn't care.

It just wasn't supposed to happen ...

But yes for years I was moping around like Ranjha lol

I don't regret it though ...

 

[Ranjeet01]

16 minutes ago, puzzled said:

Yes it took me quite some time lol, I guess it depends on the individual and how one experiences different emotions, also because she was the first one I experienced that emotion with.

She definitely did get over me sooner than I did lol. But It took her time as well, at least 3 years. We had a few mutual friends and 3 years into our breakup she did tell a mutual friend she wants to meet me and I agreed but we never got to me up as by this time she was living over 1 hour away. That was the last time and soon after that she officially was with someone else lol. Between those 3 years she did make 1 or 2 attempts to meet up with me, but interestingly every time I tried something always happened the last minute which prevented us to meet.

She was the only one who made any effort to talk to me again, I really wanted to but was stubborn AF and acted as if I didn't care.

It just wasn't supposed to happen ...

But yes for years I was moping around like Ranjha lol

I don't regret it though ...

 

Women generally get over break-ups better than men.

Oneitis is not good. I can guarantee that she was seeing other people far sooner than 3 years.

But it is good that you never went back with her, as the expression goes , "never root through the trash once the garbage once the garbage has been dragged to the curb"

She probably only wanted to get back to you because she saw you as her best option until she found in her eyes something better.

 

[MisterrSingh]

35 minutes ago, puzzled said:

Between those 3 years she did make 1 or 2 attempts to meet up with me, but interestingly every time I tried something always happened the last minute which prevented us to meet.

Someone had a protective hand over them. As tempting as a potential reunion may feel, if it's to the detriment of the party who will end up losing the most in case of a milni between the two, it just won't be allowed to happen. 

 

35 minutes ago, puzzled said:

I don't regret it though ...

It's character building. It opens the eyes to many things that are never discussed in normal life. Some guys succumb to bitterness and end up becoming twisted, but take it as an essential life lesson, and move on. Better to have loved and lost, etc. 

[puzzled]

5 hours ago, MisterrSingh said:

Someone had a protective hand over them. As tempting as a potential reunion may feel, if it's to the detriment of the party who will end up losing the most in case of a milni between the two, it just won't be allowed to happen. 

 

It's character building. It opens the eyes to many things that are never discussed in normal life. Some guys succumb to bitterness and end up becoming twisted, but take it as an essential life lesson, and move on. Better to have loved and lost, etc. 

Bro at the time it was very hard to accept the ways things had turned out so every possibility of a reunion felt great, but now I look back it's very clear that we were not supposed to be together. 

 

The few times we tried reuniting things would just dramatically come up like that.

At the time I couldn't see it, but now it's quite clear.

Anyway, it was a long time ago but stuff like that stays with you for a long time.

 

Everything happens for a reason, what may seem like a promising relationship may not always end up being a successful marriage. Gods got a different plan for everyone. 

We meet so many people in our life, so many come and go, every person you meet leaves a different impact and experience in your life, some just have a longer lasting impact than others. I'm sure there is some lena dena from the past aswell. 

 

[Not2Cool2Argue]

On 12/9/2020 at 11:37 AM, Ranjeet01 said:

Women generally get over break-ups better than men.

Oneitis is not good. I can guarantee that she was seeing other people far sooner than 3 years.

But it is good that you never went back with her, as the expression goes , "never root through the trash once the garbage once the garbage has been dragged to the curb"

She probably only wanted to get back to you because she saw you as her best option until she found in her eyes something better.

 

Haha. Such a typical Ranjeet01 response. Took the red pill abit too long. Now its addictive. It seems to have warped your viewpoint where you see everything in this primitive human brain way. 

Im not picking on you, just one dimensional explanation of the world or one ideology to explain all, rarely fits reality