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I’m confused about my religion


Guest jm1991
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On 11/15/2020 at 11:19 AM, AcceptWill201 said:

Try to read Gurbani and understand it. And listen to kirtan. Maybe find some good sangat, some bibiyan who are of similar age to connect with to support your journey.

Maybe see a counsellor to deal with any underlying issues about past actions and what you said about regretting everyday.

I dont think anyones is in a position to comment or offer advice on whats right or wrong without knowing the full story or judging from the outside which isnt helpful. Except that whilst you cant change the past you can change now.  The Guru is your guide.

Well said.. Guru is our guide..

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On 11/9/2020 at 8:15 AM, Guest jm1991 said:

I am a 28 year old Sikh girl. I used to drink alcohol but I quit, I used to eat meat but I quit. I feel bad eating animals now and I know in our religion it’s preferred I don’t eat meat. I have never ever treated someone unequally or have had ego problems. I do my work honestly and help the community. I have a soft heart. I just really regret some decisions I made before which makes me feel like I’ll be put in an endless cycle again. I lost my virginity before marriage and I’ve been regretting it everyday. I don’t know how I can make up for this or what I can do to better practice my religion. I’m always scared I will go to a bad place after death but I always try to be an honest person. Can someone please guide me and tell me what’s right or wrong. I couldn’t find the answer to this. I dont know if god will forgive me and I feel really bad doing these mistakes I did 

God always forgives (bhakshanhar).  God is always very merciful (Sadaa Sadaa Dayalu).  If someone comes to Him, He does not look at their faults or mistakes, and he helps them regardless of their past (this is taught in Gurbani).  He won't take your past into account, don't worry.

Don't beat yourself up.  Just humble yourself.  Don't live in 'darr' (fear), that's not healthy.  Feeling bad is fine it just shows your intelligence is waking up.  Humility is good it draws us closer to God.

Think about if your best friend was in your situation, what would you tell her? or imagine if a wise person gave you advice, what would they say? 

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  • 1 month later...
4 hours ago, singhsince1981 said:

Have you disclosed this to your husband?

You are from UK?

No need. Only if she wants. This has happened before she meets her husband. I don't know about you, but I would hate to be judged by someone for a mistake I made before I even met them...

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she may also have ex partners, adding even more to the baggage.

 

but if she did this stuff many years ago, hopefully it is out of her system and she can now improve her thinking. we all start changing as we grow up. I have no issues with people eating meat and have never seen any gurbani which says that not eating meat is preferred.

however since this forum doesn't allow meat discussion i cannot go more into, otherwise use private message or another forum

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It's done. You seem contrite. Stress isn't good. It's not as if you're doing it now. Yes, it's not ideal. At least you aren't trying to claim what you did was empowering and wonderful for Sikhi, lol. Be the best person you can be, and keep marching onwards. Be a great wife and a loving mother. Expand your mind; don't fall for the bull5hit in Kalyug, and perceive your Guru to be always ang-sang. 

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On 11/9/2020 at 8:15 AM, Guest jm1991 said:

I lost my virginity before marriage and I’ve been regretting it everyday. I don’t know how I can make up for this or what I can do to better practice my religion.

losing virginity and stuff can happen to anyone, as well have 5 vikaars kaam krodh lobh moh hunkaar. It is not your fault that our parents have decided we should all marry later than our grandparents generation and lose control!

however since you want to better yourself, one way you can do this is follow Guru Nanak's principle of having a grihast jeevan, a life partner. I presume you had boyfriends before, so to better yourself do not take anymore casual partners and only look for a future life partner.

There was a girl I knew who had 2 exes and posted on a sikh forum that she got raped by both. she ended up taking Khanda amrit Pahul and marrying a Singh. There are also cases of girls that have been used by Pakistani guys and even some that have escaped after being trapped in Pakistan. Then some of these girls have taken Khanda dee pahul and married Singhs!

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On 11/9/2020 at 8:15 AM, Guest jm1991 said:

I am a 28 year old Sikh girl. I used to drink alcohol but I quit, I used to eat meat but I quit. I feel bad eating animals now and I know in our religion it’s preferred I don’t eat meat. I have never ever treated someone unequally or have had ego problems. I do my work honestly and help the community. I have a soft heart. I just really regret some decisions I made before which makes me feel like I’ll be put in an endless cycle again. I lost my virginity before marriage and I’ve been regretting it everyday. I don’t know how I can make up for this or what I can do to better practice my religion. I’m always scared I will go to a bad place after death but I always try to be an honest person. Can someone please guide me and tell me what’s right or wrong. I couldn’t find the answer to this. I dont know if god will forgive me and I feel really bad doing these mistakes I did 

Pen Jee,

do not torture yourself by looking into the past, rather look forward with hope and faith in Him.

God is always sad bhakshankhar, provided we learn from our mistakes and do not incurr in them.

You want to wipe all your dark past, right? 

Then, recite His Name with love and devotion as per Bani, then you shall cleanse yourself throughly, not only the karmas of this life, but as well as all the karmas we have committed since we stepped into this false and temporary creation.

Pen Jee, just love Him with all your heart, and He will take care of you.

My blessings and best wishes for you.

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