punjabi Hindus speaking bad about bhappaa girls!

[shastarSingh]

I studied in a school in Ludhiana where about 50% of the boys were Hindus.So I meet some of my old schoolmates once in a while.

All of them say that Sikhism is great religion but the bhappaa girls in cities pretend to be true sikh but r loose charactered females.

I feel really bad when they say this.

[proactive]

There is bad in all people and we should not try and look at these anecdotes to try and demean an section of our people. 

[shastarSingh]

2 minutes ago, proactive said:

There is bad in all people and we should not try and look at these anecdotes to try and demean an section of our people. 

that s true

but bhappaa girls dating and marrying Hindus is a serious problem.

[JSinghnz]

This is an unacceptable post on our site.

[dallysingh101]

20 hours ago, shastarSingh said:

that s true

but bhappaa girls dating and marrying Hindus is a serious problem.

Where do we stop with this line of thinking? Is all the Sikh girls I've bumped into over the years, who are dating/marrying out - whether sullay, kalay, goray - any less of an issue? 

[shastarSingh]

1 hour ago, dallysingh101 said:

Where do we stop with this line of thinking? Is all the Sikh girls I've bumped into over the years, who are dating/marrying out - whether sullay, kalay, goray - any less of an issue? 

there is slight difference.

bhappaa girls pretend to be true sikh but girls in west marrying goraas, kaaley, sulley etc don't pretend to be true sikh.

[MisterrSingh]

Women are going to women. They're drawn to the male of whichever group they perceive (rightly or wrongly) will provide them with resources and protection in the most basic sense.

For a minority such as Sikhs if we don't want to inadvertently lose our women to more predatory groups (and therefore the only means by which future growth is achievable), then the men need to be viewed as dominant and invaluable.

Cultural and/or religious fear which was historically enough to keep women loyal to their own tribe is no longer a reality in the West. Worryingly, it's becoming an issue for native Indian Sikhs, too.

In India the issue is slightly unique compared to matters in the West because you have the overarching Hindu society in which Sikhs exist in an almost subservient and non-dominant position. Women SENSE these things on a biological basis.

In Punjab this currently isn't so much of a problem, because the Sikhs who are within that society are considered to be the so-called natives of that region (despite the numbers), but in places such as Delhi, Mumbai, etc., where Sikhs are surrounded by Hindus in a more obvious sense, Sikh females will come into contact with men of other groups. So, the opportunity for them to date and marry these non-Sikhs based on the perception of their societal status and role in that region will dictate matters of attraction and coupling. Of course, it doesn't take a genius to realise the difference between a traditionally masculine Punjab native and his less imposing, mercantile urban counterpart; this also plays a part in this issue.

Islam, despite its faults, understands these ground social realities, and therefore compensates for such unpredictable phenomena amongst its people by mandating and sanctioning social behaviour via its religious scriptures as a unassailable method of keeping control. We, on the other hand, are told to transcend petty issues to do with tribalism based on skin, status group, etc. So, ironically, the women who eschew Sikh males for men of other groups are actually more observant of their religion's spiritual philosophy than those who aren't, lol.

Overall, this problem is one of the many reasons why we should consider the idea of our own country. We are the mercy of a torrent of issues and forces designed to weaken us (either by design or the natural course of things) the longer we languish amongst hostile groups that want to see us gone. Drawing women away from the men of their own tribe in this seemingly innocuous manner is a key strategy that ultimately destroys a people, a culture, a religion, etc. 

[dallysingh101]

5 hours ago, MisterrSingh said:

So, ironically, the women who eschew Sikh males for men of other groups are actually more observant of their religion's spiritual philosophy than those who aren't, lol.

You ever think that outside of the comfort bubble of 'numbers' that many apnay in Panjab rely on (especially along certain caste lines....), when in less 'secure' environments that whole bombast falls apart, and apneean see through it. Instead of faking it - why don't apnay (along Sikh lines not some jaat-paat bollox) actually practice and promote being the masculine figures in challenging situations outside of the safe space of being in the majority?  

Otherwise, we are just big fish in a small chappar. 

[MisterrSingh]

5 minutes ago, dallysingh101 said:

You ever think that outside of the comfort bubble of 'numbers' that many apnay in Panjab rely on (especially along certain caste lines....), when in less 'secure' environments that whole bombast falls apart, and apneean see through it. Instead of faking it - why don't apnay (along Sikh lines not some jaat-paat bollox) actually practice and promote being the masculine figures in challenging situations outside of the safe space of being in the majority?  

Otherwise, we are just big fish in a small chappar. 

Probably true on a vague unspoken level, certainly nothing they could articulate to justify their decisions. Women's instincts are amazingly astute in these matters; it verges on supernatural but it's obviously something evolutionary. Of course, this applies only to women who possess the ability to choose. An oppressed girl in a desert tribal community won't be doing any of this. 

[californiasardar1]

6 hours ago, MisterrSingh said:

Women are going to women. They're drawn to the male of whichever group they perceive (rightly or wrongly) will provide them with resources and protection in the most basic sense.

For a minority such as Sikhs if we don't want to inadvertently lose our women to more predatory groups (and therefore the only means by which future growth is achievable), then the men need to be viewed as dominant and invaluable.

Cultural and/or religious fear which was historically enough to keep women loyal to their own tribe is no longer a reality in the West. Worryingly, it's becoming an issue for native Indian Sikhs, too.

In India the issue is slightly unique compared to matters in the West because you have the overarching Hindu society in which Sikhs exist in an almost subservient and non-dominant position. Women SENSE these things on a biological basis.

In Punjab this currently isn't so much of a problem, because the Sikhs who are within that society are considered to be the so-called natives of that region (despite the numbers), but in places such as Delhi, Mumbai, etc., where Sikhs are surrounded by Hindus in a more obvious sense, Sikh females will come into contact with men of other groups. So, the opportunity for them to date and marry these non-Sikhs based on the perception of their societal status and role in that region will dictate matters of attraction and coupling. Of course, it doesn't take a genius to realise the difference between a traditionally masculine Punjab native and his less imposing, mercantile urban counterpart; this also plays a part in this issue.

Islam, despite its faults, understands these ground social realities, and therefore compensates for such unpredictable phenomena amongst its people by mandating and sanctioning social behaviour via its religious scriptures as a unassailable method of keeping control. We, on the other hand, are told to transcend petty issues to do with tribalism based on skin, status group, etc. So, ironically, the women who eschew Sikh males for men of other groups are actually more observant of their religion's spiritual philosophy than those who aren't, lol.

Overall, this problem is one of the many reasons why we should consider the idea of our own country. We are the mercy of a torrent of issues and forces designed to weaken us (either by design or the natural course of things) the longer we languish amongst hostile groups that want to see us gone. Drawing women away from the men of their own tribe in this seemingly innocuous manner is a key strategy that ultimately destroys a people, a culture, a religion, etc. 

 

The vast majority of "Sikh" women already choose mates in this way. You say it is not a big problem in Punjab yet, but it is. Most "Sikh" women in Punjab will only marry "Sikhs" with haircuts and/or trimmed beards.

 

Whether it happens to be a "mona Sikh" or a Hindu or a Muslim or a Christian or whatever makes no difference to me.