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Advice on Inter-Ethnic Marriage


Guest JoginderSingh

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Guest JoginderSingh

Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Vaheguru Ji Ki Fateh

Thank you all for reading this post. I am currently planning on proposing to my girlfriend. I am a Punjabi staying in the UK and my girlfriend is ethnically Chinese staying in the UK as well. She is very interested in Sikhi and we have discussed it many times. We have even decided that the kids will keep joora and learn bani as well. She is humble and compassionate, and reminds me of the qualities of being a good Sikh by her very nature. She does not keep her kesh, and she is learning Punjabi as well in her spare time. Essentially, she is learning slowly how to be a good Sikh, and I do not want to pressure her. 

However, we have been getting alot of judgement and hate from the community, especially with all the chugli and gossiping thats been going around. I do not understand their problem - if anything, my girlfriend is a better Sikh than half of them. Anyone has any advice on how I can look past all this hate and negativity? We are not doing anything wrong

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Brother, just ignore them. Other than that there's not much you can do. It's great how she is willing to practice Sikhi, learn our language and most importantly raise your kids with joodas, our identity, what more can you ask for ? 

Ignore what people say.

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23 hours ago, Guest JoginderSingh said:

Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Vaheguru Ji Ki Fateh

Thank you all for reading this post. I am currently planning on proposing to my girlfriend. I am a Punjabi staying in the UK and my girlfriend is ethnically Chinese staying in the UK as well. She is very interested in Sikhi and we have discussed it many times. We have even decided that the kids will keep joora and learn bani as well. She is humble and compassionate, and reminds me of the qualities of being a good Sikh by her very nature. She does not keep her kesh, and she is learning Punjabi as well in her spare time. Essentially, she is learning slowly how to be a good Sikh, and I do not want to pressure her. 

However, we have been getting alot of judgement and hate from the community, especially with all the chugli and gossiping thats been going around. I do not understand their problem - if anything, my girlfriend is a better Sikh than half of them. Anyone has any advice on how I can look past all this hate and negativity? We are not doing anything wrong

maybe it is just rubbing them up the wrong way because her being an outsider IS being a better sikh than they themselves i.e. it holds up the mirror to their faults . Don't take it the wrong way stay on your intended path and Waheguru ji will help you , don't let naysayers rob your family of peace of mind . I myself have been along your path so know it can get tough ignoring the backbiting but you have to to suceed, they gave us months and we just had our silver wedding anniversary , four kids all brought up in sikhi , it's doable just be a strong and communicative couple . Stay in chardikala

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Guest Mr Lynx

It is very rare when a non sikh who intends to marry a Sikh is actually interested in sikhi so that is great news. 

All the sikhs whom I know that have had interfaith marriages their partners have not been interested in sikhi in the slightest but then they themselves have shunned sikhi...

Also lets be honest many western "sikh" girls are running around with every tom <banned word filter activated> & harry so why should the community point the finger at you, someone who genuinely respects sikhi & the teachings.

These double standards are disappointing and you should ignore the gossip if you are truly happy with her.

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On 2/22/2021 at 12:47 PM, Guest JoginderSingh said:

Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Vaheguru Ji Ki Fateh

Thank you all for reading this post. I am currently planning on proposing to my girlfriend. I am a Punjabi staying in the UK and my girlfriend is ethnically Chinese staying in the UK as well. She is very interested in Sikhi and we have discussed it many times. We have even decided that the kids will keep joora and learn bani as well. She is humble and compassionate, and reminds me of the qualities of being a good Sikh by her very nature. She does not keep her kesh, and she is learning Punjabi as well in her spare time. Essentially, she is learning slowly how to be a good Sikh, and I do not want to pressure her. 

However, we have been getting alot of judgement and hate from the community, especially with all the chugli and gossiping thats been going around. I do not understand their problem - if anything, my girlfriend is a better Sikh than half of them. Anyone has any advice on how I can look past all this hate and negativity? We are not doing anything wrong

Good luck to you, but don't allow yourself to get too enamoured at this stage. Use your head, not just your heart. I know a few Punjabis who got caught out by Chinan girls. These Chinans said all the right things at first, but as soon as marriage was done and dusted, they took the husband away from his family, and basically isolated and started gaslighting him. To understand why they do this, you'll need to appreciate some facts about the Chinese mentality and demeanour. 

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On 2/22/2021 at 12:47 PM, Guest JoginderSingh said:

Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Vaheguru Ji Ki Fateh

Thank you all for reading this post. I am currently planning on proposing to my girlfriend. I am a Punjabi staying in the UK and my girlfriend is ethnically Chinese staying in the UK as well. She is very interested in Sikhi and we have discussed it many times. We have even decided that the kids will keep joora and learn bani as well. She is humble and compassionate, and reminds me of the qualities of being a good Sikh by her very nature. She does not keep her kesh, and she is learning Punjabi as well in her spare time. Essentially, she is learning slowly how to be a good Sikh, and I do not want to pressure her. 

However, we have been getting alot of judgement and hate from the community, especially with all the chugli and gossiping thats been going around. I do not understand their problem - if anything, my girlfriend is a better Sikh than half of them. Anyone has any advice on how I can look past all this hate and negativity? We are not doing anything wrong

I wouldn't take too much notice of the chugalkhors, these people are everywhere and if it weren't for your Chinese girlfriend, they would find something else to do chugli about. One thing to understand is that chugliyan only work when they have an effect on the person who the chugliyan are being said about. If you disregard these chugliyan and make is known that they do not affect you then these people will move on to chugliyan about other people. If you show that these are affecting you then these chugliyan will keep on being spread. Anyway good luck and all the best for your future. 

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On 2/22/2021 at 12:47 PM, Guest JoginderSingh said:

Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Vaheguru Ji Ki Fateh

Thank you all for reading this post. I am currently planning on proposing to my girlfriend. I am a Punjabi staying in the UK and my girlfriend is ethnically Chinese staying in the UK as well. She is very interested in Sikhi and we have discussed it many times. We have even decided that the kids will keep joora and learn bani as well. She is humble and compassionate, and reminds me of the qualities of being a good Sikh by her very nature. She does not keep her kesh, and she is learning Punjabi as well in her spare time. Essentially, she is learning slowly how to be a good Sikh, and I do not want to pressure her. 

However, we have been getting alot of judgement and hate from the community, especially with all the chugli and gossiping thats been going around. I do not understand their problem - if anything, my girlfriend is a better Sikh than half of them. Anyone has any advice on how I can look past all this hate and negativity? We are not doing anything wrong

You might regret marrying someone  completely outside of your ethnicity/culture - not now, but maybe in 10, or 20 years time or when you are in your retired years. Especially if she does not take to Sikhi

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Tbh, even "our own" can't be trusted. I personally stopped giving a damn what other people thought a long time ago, especially when it comes to rishta/marriage. 

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On 2/22/2021 at 12:47 PM, Guest JoginderSingh said:

Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Vaheguru Ji Ki Fateh

Thank you all for reading this post. I am currently planning on proposing to my girlfriend. I am a Punjabi staying in the UK and my girlfriend is ethnically Chinese staying in the UK as well. She is very interested in Sikhi and we have discussed it many times. We have even decided that the kids will keep joora and learn bani as well. She is humble and compassionate, and reminds me of the qualities of being a good Sikh by her very nature. She does not keep her kesh, and she is learning Punjabi as well in her spare time. Essentially, she is learning slowly how to be a good Sikh, and I do not want to pressure her. 

However, we have been getting alot of judgement and hate from the community, especially with all the chugli and gossiping thats been going around. I do not understand their problem - if anything, my girlfriend is a better Sikh than half of them. Anyone has any advice on how I can look past all this hate and negativity? We are not doing anything wrong

I guess if it is OK for recently arrived Punjabis to settle down with East European women and have Sikh kids then there is nothing wrong in settling down with a Chinese woman.

The Chinese are ultimately a dharmic people (if we take the current political situation out of the question) and have always been interested in what happens west of their border.  

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On 2/22/2021 at 11:47 PM, Guest JoginderSingh said:

Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Vaheguru Ji Ki Fateh

Thank you all for reading this post. I am currently planning on proposing to my girlfriend. I am a Punjabi staying in the UK and my girlfriend is ethnically Chinese staying in the UK as well. She is very interested in Sikhi and we have discussed it many times. We have even decided that the kids will keep joora and learn bani as well. She is humble and compassionate, and reminds me of the qualities of being a good Sikh by her very nature. She does not keep her kesh, and she is learning Punjabi as well in her spare time. Essentially, she is learning slowly how to be a good Sikh, and I do not want to pressure her. 

However, we have been getting alot of judgement and hate from the community, especially with all the chugli and gossiping thats been going around. I do not understand their problem - if anything, my girlfriend is a better Sikh than half of them. Anyone has any advice on how I can look past all this hate and negativity? We are not doing anything wrong

There's a saying in Punjabi " people's job is to talk about others, and they will talk no matter what." (even same race still chugliyan or gossip about  complex fair or dark, height too short or tall, caste educations, job, or even when to have kids etc. so its never ending bro.  you do what suits the best to you,

just a joke if you have a baby boy after marriage, he might not have as thick beard as you (this is my gossip) just to cheer you up bro lol

wishing you all the best from the core of my heart!

 

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Guest Ausguestsingh22
On 2/25/2021 at 7:03 PM, Ranjeet01 said:

I guess if it is OK for recently arrived Punjabis to settle down with East European women and have Sikh kids then there is nothing wrong in settling down with a Chinese woman.

The Chinese are ultimately a dharmic people (if we take the current political situation out of the question) and have always been interested in what happens west of their border.  

Is this common? I have not really seen this.

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