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Equality during Anand Karaj


Guest manjeetayjagjeet

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Guest manjeetayjagjeet

Sat sri akal, everyone!

I'm just having some trouble wrapping my head around Sikh society. As a woman, I am proud to be Sikh because it advocates for equality among the genders. However, my faith has been suffering due to societal thinking, especially here in Canada. My fiancé and I are getting married next year and we are having a lot of trouble finding a raagi jattha. Why? Because both of us (and our families) want us to walk beside each other instead of the traditional bride behind groom way for the lavaan. People are simply unwilling to do it and those that can, are crazy expensive.

Our traditions have been heavily borrowed from Hinduism but without all the fuss. We have even changed the way we think about Sikh marriage, as the bride and groom get married together to God. So then why do I have to walk behind him? To make things worse, I have heard some really sexist things from some of the raagis who explained why I must walk behind him. I am so disappointed in our people.

I guess I wanted some more opinions on this. Am I missing some pertinent information? But if anyone has more information about this or raagis who are more open minded, I'd love to hear about it!

Thank you!

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You're marrying the love of your life (supposedly), and you're more worried about whether if you're walking behind, beside or in front of him. Rather than booking the nearest wedding date available in

We are Sikhs not Cultural Marxists. If you have it the traditional you are both equally distant from Maharaj. If you have both people level then one is going to be further away. You adapt to

Waheguru ji ka Khalsa , Waheguru ji ki Fateh , firstly what you are doing is throwing out sikh culture and gurmat for some supposed 'modern' and WISER ???? way , in some mistaken impression you k

Guest Rus

Fun fact. In Russian, the verb to marry literally means "take a wife" if you're male. But if you're female it literally means "be behind the man" 

Shortly after the US got rid of the Taliban, an aid worker noticed a woman walking behind her husband. 

"We've freed you from the control of men" the aid worker said. "Why are you still walking behind him?" 

"Landmines" the woman replied. 

 

Seriously though, it's not all tradition. It depends on lots of things. i've heard in the old days that women would walk first in the third lavan. My own grand parents sat on chairs. Apparently in really old times they didn't eve. Walk around. 

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6 hours ago, MisterrSingh said:

I really am making a conscious effort to adjust my frame of mind so that I'm not viewing reality from a purely masculine and patriarchal perspective, but reading 5hit like this hammers home the absolute futility of it all. 

We know what she's going to come back with: "Sikhi is outdated / sexist / patriarchal / anti-female" and we're all pendu b**tards who wants to ruin her special day.

Totally agree.

But if the OP is from Toronto I understand where she's coming from. We are first generation Sikhs/Punjabis and there's a "boys over girls" mentality here. 

Hopefully she got the answer she was looking for.

 

 

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3 minutes ago, jjs8 said:

Totally agree.

But if the OP is from Toronto I understand where she's coming from. We are first generation Sikhs/Punjabis and there's a "boys over girls" mentality here. 

Hopefully she got the answer she was looking for.

Fair point. I can appreciate it.

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Guest London jwaan
On 2/24/2021 at 5:24 PM, Guest manjeetayjagjeet said:

Sat sri akal, everyone!

I'm just having some trouble wrapping my head around Sikh society. As a woman, I am proud to be Sikh because it advocates for equality among the genders. However, my faith has been suffering due to societal thinking, especially here in Canada. My fiancé and I are getting married next year and we are having a lot of trouble finding a raagi jattha. Why? Because both of us (and our families) want us to walk beside each other instead of the traditional bride behind groom way for the lavaan. People are simply unwilling to do it and those that can, are crazy expensive.

Our traditions have been heavily borrowed from Hinduism but without all the fuss. We have even changed the way we think about Sikh marriage, as the bride and groom get married together to God. So then why do I have to walk behind him? To make things worse, I have heard some really sexist things from some of the raagis who explained why I must walk behind him. I am so disappointed in our people.

I guess I wanted some more opinions on this. Am I missing some pertinent information? But if anyone has more information about this or raagis who are more open minded, I'd love to hear about it!

Thank you!

I think that you are better off not having an anand karaj. It is probably better suited for both of you to have a registry wedding and whatever celebration you choose.

I am a man and I disagree with any kind of gender discrimination, yet I don’t think I can think of anything worse than militant feminists looking for gender discrimination where there isn’t any. 

Especially given the equality of women explicitly denied as our pillar of our religion, no Sikh would look to change a blessed ceremony created by our gurus based on 21st century misandry.

Why not get nine of your girlfriends together so that you can declare yourselves gurus 11-20 as it must be gender discrimination as none of our gurus were women?? Or maybe speak to the akal Takhat about banning male Granthis unless 50% appointed are women and the numbers levelled up?

Or just go the whole way, and make a retrospective claim that guru gobind Singh ji must have been a woman?

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