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divorce and guilt!


Guest feeling-very-sad

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16 minutes ago, Suchi said:

Parents are also the victims of circumstances. Who knows the impact of partition when people lost everything including property, life and limb to end up destitute in their own countries. I doubt counselling could have helped come to terms with their life long traumas.  Many are even unable to speak of the atrocities they experienced.  Worse we are realising that all of this was totally orchestrated for easy control of land and wealth without a care for the deaths and suffering caused. 

Partition happened 74 years ago.

Anyone that has memories of that era is probably over 80.

 

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This threads been good. It's made me re-evaluate my thinking. 

I think with conservative families the pressure to present this idyllic image is just majorly over-powering. Any people from this background who've had these types of issues in their past would likely seriously struggle to get married in the arranged marriage system. 

No wonder they hide it.

It happens the other way round too. I know a few amritdhari virgin blokes who got married to girls from 'respectable' families, who've found out all manner of shyte about their brides afterwards.  

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2 hours ago, dallysingh101 said:

 

It happens the other way round too. I know a few amritdhari virgin blokes who got married to girls from 'respectable' families, who've found out all manner of shyte about their brides afterwards.  

What was the end result? These type of stories make me very scared.

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1 minute ago, PuzzledToo said:

What was the end result? These type of stories make me very scared.

Divorce: after having spent a fortune to have a 'respectable' wedding with all the trimmings (i.e. bags full of 22k gold jewelry). Then years of confusion and debt afterwards.  

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Guest sangi
17 hours ago, PuzzledToo said:

What was the end result? These type of stories make me very scared.

The end result was most definitely a divorce. There are those that marry ‘one’ thing and find out much later on after they have’d two or three kids, that they married ‘another’ thing, if you understand what I mean. 

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  • 1 year later...
Guest feeling-very-sad

Original poster again

The girl I married didn't take any medicines but she too suffered from depression at regular intervals. Though I took anti psychotic medicine, I behaved very nicely with the girl. She used to shout at me sometimes.

I cleared the driving test pretty nicely and also cleared the security guard test. Whatever little I earned, she used to take some portion from it. She also gave me no spousal support.

Her father too behaved with me very badly and mocked whatever  job I wanted to do as a low status job.

The father was a missionary sikh and spoke bad about sikhi and Gurbani.

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Guest Ludhiana
On 3/7/2021 at 8:02 AM, Guest feeling-very-sad said:

I am a 38 year old amritdhari male.

My life was going fine but few years back I suffered from psychotic depression and started taking anti psychotic medicine daily which made me lazy and started sleeping 9 hours a day and couldn't get up at amritvela.

Than I got married and didn't tell my wife about my illness and medicine.

Finally she got to know about my mental illness and told me that I cheated her. Some time back, we got divorced.

At present I feel sad and guilty that I shud hv told her about my illness.

I feel like I will be punished by God and hv to come again in reincarnation.

https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/psychotic-depression/

On 3/10/2021 at 6:54 PM, PuzzledToo said:

These type of stories make me very scared.

That's why men going their own way is such a big thing nowadays

On 4/9/2022 at 8:03 AM, Guest feeling-very-sad said:

Original poster again

The girl I married didn't take any medicines but she too suffered from depression at regular intervals. Though I took anti psychotic medicine, I behaved very nicely with the girl. She used to shout at me sometimes.

I cleared the driving test pretty nicely and also cleared the security guard test. Whatever little I earned, she used to take some portion from it. She also gave me no spousal support.

Her father too behaved with me very badly and mocked whatever  job I wanted to do as a low status job.

The father was a missionary sikh and spoke bad about sikhi and Gurbani.

Mental illness can happen  to anybody nowadays in kalyug

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  • 1 month later...
Guest Guest

Why worry about reincarnation?  That is something beyond our control.  If you have to come back, maybe that will be an opportunity to improve and reach your true self.  For now what you can do is: firstly, stop defending yourself and making excuses for what you have done and own your mistake; secondly, ask for forgiveness from that soul whom you have caused pain everyday within your heart (truly, and sincerely); and lastly, never make the same mistake again, learn from this mistake.

 

 

 

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  • 1 month later...
Guest Gupt Singh

First of all, I am sorry about you situation. Most of posters here, have gone off a tangent.  Honesty is, is that you need counselling, a conversation with your Dr about the medication and its impact and you need to get away from your environment. 

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