Abuse within the Sikh community

[Guest JKG]

Vaheguroo Jee Ka Khalsa Vaheguroo Jee Kee Fateh Jee 

As a family we're fairly new to Sikhi and only started to connect to it more since going to a divaan with my Masee Jee in Canada last time we visited. The Bhai doing katha was really knowledgable and spoke in English. My husband was sent a link yesterday to a youtube video about sexual abuse "committed" by this Bhai Jee. My son has even started reading his Jap Jee Sahib da Paht and tying a Domala because of it. Ive been reading more on Sikh Sangat since working from home as it has helped me learn a lot since coming into Sikhi. I thought maybe somebody on here could provide me with some clarification regarding this Bhai or abusers within the community in general. I have not named the Bhai because I tried to post on here a few hours ago with the link to the video but it was not published

Im not naive to the fact that sexual abuse exists everywhere, but I am quite shocked that there is talk of it regarding people who are from the West and seem so connected to Sikhi. Mostly, I am concerned because my son wants to meet this Bhai on his next visit to the states 

 

[Sewadar]

Thank you Bhaenji for not naming the person. This was the reason why we cannot allow anything to be posted here without any credible proof and i hope you understands that. 

[MisterrSingh]

Newcomers to Sikhi or those from Punjabi background who are reconnecting with their spiritual roots tend to fall into the trap of homing in on a charismatic religious figure to ease them into the spiritual "scene." It's understandable why this happens, but more often than not the religious and spiritual instruction tends to bleed into personality worship to the point where the silver-tongued figure becomes a living embodiment of Sikhi rather than purely a vessel for the message.

When you become hooked on these types of people, you tend to want to defend them even when issues emerge about their conduct, which means you suspend your objectivity and critical faculties, because facing up to the uncomfortable truth that someone who says all the right things (on the surface at least)  might be guilty of what they're being accused of. Most people waste entire lifetimes lying to themselves in this way. 

[Guest ItsMe]

Hello penji.

As a mother, if I were you, I would keep my son at a distance. These things happen all the time. Protect our future. Protect our children.

Today your son may be disheartened hearing what he will soon hear but it is better to be disheartened than become a victim and lose all hope all together. If something was to happen because you skirted around the issue, even if your son spoke out, no one would care enough to listen and it will psychologically damage him. Many abuse victims end up suicidal too and it is upsetting that the Sikh community continue to ignore this issue. 

[Guest guest]

On 3/17/2021 at 11:25 AM, Guest JKG said:

Im not naive to the fact that sexual abuse exists everywhere, but I am quite shocked that there is talk of it regarding people who are from the West and seem so connected to Sikhi. Mostly, I am concerned because my son wants to meet this Bhai on his next visit to the states 

 

was the purported abuse against children or just that he had extra martial female lovers?  if the former, then obviously stay away.

you and your husband can be with your son when you meet this Bhai and it can be in public surrounded by people- e.g. at Gurdwara with all the sangat around or at someones house in the living room with lots of people around.

but please don't fall into the trap of blindly "following a sant ji".