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Why are Sikh women always blamed for converting when Sikh men also do it


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https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/interracial-marriage-sikhism_uk_5d03b7d1e4b0304a120eafcc

 

What It's Like To Be The First Woman In My Family To Choose An Interracial Marriage

When I met my husband, I wasn’t making a conscious decision to be with someone who wasn’t Indian or Sikh.
Rédactrice de blogs "lifestyle" au Huffington Post (US)
15/06/2019 06:00am BST
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MANJIL SHRESTHA, PIXEL 6 STUDIO

Growing up, my dad would repeat his house rule almost every week: When you get married, marry a Sikh.

He couldn’t fathom that after moving to America for more opportunities for his family, one of his kids would make the mistake of losing touch with her roots. Through my mid-20s, my parents were still holding out hope that I would end up with a Sikh man.

 

Sikhism is the fifth-largest religion in the world, originating in Punjab, India. Its central values include the devotion to one God, service, equality, fighting for justice and truthful living. My parents are strict followers of the religion and made sure my siblings and I grew up going to Sikh camps over the summer, learning the Punjabi language and attending our version of Sunday school to learn hymns and history lessons.

I’ve always identified as a Sikh, but it’s been hard to reconcile my identity in my dating life. Before I met my husband, Sam, I dated both Sikh and non-Sikh men. Honestly, I often struggled when I went on dates with Sikh men. In some cases, I either felt too American and like I couldn’t relate or match their cultural experiences, or I was forcing myself to overlook a lack of chemistry or connection to make it work just because they were Sikh. In other cases, conversations about relational and marital expectations laid bare an underlying double standard of how it was only OK for men to grow up in this country and become liberal, opinionated, career-driven people.

 

When I met Sam on a dating site in 2016, I wasn’t making a conscious decision to be with someone who wasn’t Indian or Sikh. After years of heartbreak and a series of terrible dating experiences, I just wanted to meet a kind, respectful generous man. Sam’s emotional intelligence immediately blew me away, and I learned quickly that he was very different from the men I had dated before.

Marriage is the ultimate success for Indian daughters, and my parents had been worried about me for years. So, at 27, I decided to tell them I had met someone. It was supposed to be positive news. I was happy.

 

My parents couldn’t really wrap their heads around me dating a non-Sikh man at first. They couldn’t understand why I would make a relationship and potential marriage even harder by choosing someone so different from me. They were worried for my future, and they pretty much banked on it being something that would pass. Months later, my dad continued to hint at potential Sikh suitors he knew about in the community. No matter how hard it was to actively fight for my happiness, I knew I’d have to ride it out and prove to them this wasn’t short-lived.

This was new for Sam, too. He also had never been with someone of a different race or culture. Someone whose religion is the thread that ties together their values, world views and beliefs. Someone whose culture emphasized family involvement even on personal matters. And while his family only cared that he was happy, Sam waited patiently and respectfully for mine to get on board.

 

“I know that by choosing each other, Sam and I may have chosen a tougher path to go down, but also by choosing each other, we have been able to grow together and so have our families.”

We had only been dating for three months when Donald Trump got elected in 2016, and it was the moment I knew Sam and I would either be able to see this through or would have to break up. We had to talk about the elephant in the room: his privilege as a white man. Sam listened intently as I talked through my fears for the turban-wearing men in my family who live in the South, and my own identity crisis. He also owned his place in these ongoing issues, learning to be an ally who knows when to stand by and listen and when to stand up and speak out.

I know if I were with a Sikh man, I wouldn’t necessarily need to have emotionally laborious conversations about race, religion and politics. These differences are a part of what makes my relationship with Sam beautiful, though. All relationships require work and effort, patience and respect and healthy communication. But because Sam and I were forced to address our differences very early on, we’ve also been able to address other big needs and desires out of a partnership ― from money and family involvement to future religious involvement in our relationship to cultural traditions and potential children.

 

In fact, much of what made me fall for Sam were his values that are foundational in the Sikh religion and of great importance to my family: his generosity to the less fortunate, his respect and desire for community building, his kindness, his nonjudgmental nature and ability to treat everyone as equals.

I know that by choosing each other, Sam and I may have chosen a tougher path to go down, but we have also been able to grow together and so have our families. There’s been a steep learning curve for all of us. Sam and his loving, open-minded and open-hearted family have been able to break the stereotypes my family unfortunately had of white Americans. And I’ve been able to reconnect with where I come from and who I am by teaching my husband and in-laws about Sikhism and being an Indian in this country. 5d0299dd2100003711f0c400.jpeg?ops=scalef

 
MANJIL SHRESTHA, PIXEL 6 STUDIO

In May 2017, six months after I told my parents about Sam, I asked them to meet him. If they didn’t approve, I would hear them out and consider ending it. Even though I wouldn’t be able to pursue a partnership with someone my family didn’t approve of, I’ve always known in my heart that my parents want the best for me and truly want me to be happy. I also knew that Sam was special and that when they met him, they’d slowly come around.

And thankfully, they did. But after Sam proposed in March 2018, everything seemed to get more complicated. Nothing prepared us for how tough wedding planning was going to be over the last year. There are very specific things a groom or a groom’s family are expected to do in a Sikh wedding and it was hard at first for my parents to compromise on certain traditions to make room for Sam’s comfort and our American expectations of what our wedding should feel like ― that our wedding is for us, not just for our community.

Eventually, we were able to create a wedding weekend that upheld the important Sikh wedding traditions with added twists to make it intercultural (i.e., we had a Sikh ceremony followed by a reception in a brewery where Sam played the drums with his band). However, leading up to it, I had massive anxiety wondering if my Sikh community was going to potentially judge my in-laws or not accept them. I was also nervous about how overwhelmed Sam’s family might be by the culture shock of this elaborately planned weekend.

The truth is, I underestimated everyone. In getting so caught up in what it means to marry outside my race and religion, I didn’t give credit to the love that was flowing around our relationship. My family and family’s friends were loving, patient and kind, embracing my in-laws as new members of the community. And my in-laws were enthusiastic, flexible and willing to learn, embracing my culture and tradition with open minds and hearts. I truly couldn’t have asked for any more love or acceptance. 5d029a75240000300f8fa801.jpeg?ops=scalef

 
MANJIL SHRESTHA, PIXEL 6 STUDIO

I always have taken my ability to “choose” my life and partner for granted, when in reality, it’s a privilege. During my Sikh wedding, my dad read the laavan from the scripture from the Guru Granth Sahib (our holy book), which meant he sat in front of us through the entire traditional ceremony. I couldn’t make eye contact with him because I knew we were both processing a series of emotions and it felt like a breach of his privacy.

After the fourth laav, or walk around the Guru Granth Sahib, Sam and I were officially husband and wife. I looked up and locked eyes with my dad, and immediately started bawling.

It was in that moment that I got so overwhelmed by his love for me, a love so much stronger than his own religious beliefs or expectations or needs. I was able to see clearly the weight of the sacrifices and compromises my dad has made through his life to get me to where I was ― sitting next to a man I was privileged enough to choose as my life partner ― with the support of the hundreds of people sitting behind us. Him leaving his family over 30 years ago is the reason I’ve been able to choose Sam as my own.5d0298172100003711f0b86c.jpeg?ops=scalef

 
MANJIL SHRESTHA, PIXEL 6 STUDIO

As such, I think I’ll always feel a slight sense of guilt for not ending up with a Sikh man. I feel a sense of guilt for not fitting into the role of “obedient, good Indian girl” — for doing whatever it took to make my parents’ lives easier after all they’ve done for me. I went against the grain and chose my happiness over my parents’ expectations.

 

I know my parents initially wanted me to marry a Sikh, but I also know they truly love and consider Sam like a son. Their acceptance of my partnership and effort to meet me where I am has relieved some of my guilt. I’ve gotten a happy ending, but I know not everyone is as lucky or as supported as I have been.

I don’t know what to expect from my marriage to Sam. I know that this is a journey we will venture on together, but I also know that there will always be personal challenges I have to face alone. I am constantly re-evaluating my identities and relearning what they mean for me.

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https://www.thecut.com/2019/05/a-sikh-jewish-wedding-that-ended-in-fireworks.html

A Sikh-Jewish Wedding That Ended in Fireworks

By Kaitlin Menza  
MAY 10, 2019
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18 PHOTOS
Photo: One Night Cereus / Quyn Duong

When we ask newlyweds to think back on what they wanted most for their big day — and we’ve interviewed hundreds of them over the years — the most common response is: “For it not to feel like a wedding!” But in a monsoon of flower crowns and macaroon towers, how do you see beyond the usual tropes and actually pull off a non-cookie-cutter affair? For the answer, we’ve decided to interrogate the cool couples whose weddings we would actually want to steal — right down to the tiger-shaped cake toppers.

Here, we talked to Sharan Bal and Rob Friedman, who met as young leaders in social justice and got married last September on a horse farm in Roxbury, NY. They divided the weekend into a day of Sikh traditions followed by a day of Jewish ones, all ending in fireworks.

 

Sharan: For Rob it was very important to get married in the Catskills. He spent a lot of time there growing up, and we live in the city now. For me, I definitely wanted elements of the big fat Indian wedding. It was challenging because there’s not much infrastructure for any of that up there. If I were to do it all again, I would have started with a planner initially, and just been like, here’s what we’d like to do, please help us find a place. But we went location first, and it seemed like literally nowhere in the Catskills could host more than 150, 200 people, which wouldn’t work for an Indian wedding. But finally we did come upon Stone Tavern Farm, which had the size, and they had also done other Indian weddings there, which made us feel better. I didn’t want to be any venue’s first.

Rob: It was important also to infuse the weekend with both of our faiths, and demonstrate the connection between those faiths. To showcase for people who have never been to a Sikh wedding ceremony what that looks like, or folks who have never been to a Jewish ceremony what that looks like.

Sharan: My parents were an arranged marriage. They didn’t really understand the whole notion of dating. I met Rob in 2012 — at this leadership boot camp for people who care about social change called Starting Bloc — but they didn’t want to get to know him until it was serious. In December 2016, we told them we’d like to get married and they were so happy. They said, “That’s great! You’re our son now!” My parents said I didn’t have to do the Sikh wedding if I didn’t want to — but it would be nice. And Rob’s parents were encouraging, too: Do the Sikh wedding and the Jewish one! We invited a total of 350 people, and 250 attended.

Rob: Before the first ceremony began, a few of Sharan’s relatives, some of whom had flown in from India, came to my parents’ house to tie my turban. They presented me with a kirpan, a sword that’s a ceremonial part of the Sikh ceremony as well, and they helped me get dressed with my sherwani.

Sharan: Typically grooms wear cream and red, or ivory and red, but Rob is very pale, and so he didn’t want to wear that color because it would wash him out. So we picked out this nice blue and had the sherwani ($750) designed at Image Boutique Shop, a mom-and-pop shop in Atlanta.

Rob: I knew Sharan was up in a room while she was waiting to be brought down by her handlers. I yelled up to her, like, “Are you ready for this, Sharan?” And she yelled down, “Let’s do this!”

Sharan: It kicked off with a baraat, which is Rob riding in on a horse, with his side of the family and friends in a procession with him, coming to meet my side of the family and guests.

Rob: That was really emotional for me, I wasn’t expecting that. To have complementary sides of our respective families meet in the middle of a circle for an embrace and an exchange of garlands. There was one particular moment where my aunt and one of Sharan’s second cousins hugged, and I just kinda lost it.

Sharan: After the milni, you share food together. Benares catering served samosas, pakoras, chutneys, tea, and coffee. Then everyone got seated on the floor under the tent [$2,000, Events Unlimited Party Rentals] for the Anand Karaj, the Sikh wedding ceremony. I wore Anita Dongre jewelry and a lehenga made of hand-embroidered silk that I found online at Warp ‘n Weft [$1,800].

Rob: Honestly, I got completely lost during the ceremony. I don’t speak Punjabi, so I was focusing on not staring at Sharan too much, because we were sitting side by side. When we had our second ceremony, on Sunday, that was of course a much more familiar experience for me. We were married by my childhood rabbi who bar mitzvahed me. He read the vows we had written; I was initially skeptical of that, but he said it was what he usually does, so we can take each other in as these words are being read aloud.

Sharan: For that day, I wanted to wear white like a Western bride. I wore a white lehenga by this amazing young designer I found who’s based in L.A., Kynah, with super reasonable pricing; it cost around $600. And the jewelry was ReeMat Designs. Rob’s childhood rabbi officiated a really amazing interfaith ceremony — we were able to make some shifts based on things we cared about: like instead of me circling Rob, I circled him a few times then he circled me a few times then we made a circle together.

Rob: We walked out from under the chuppah to Mariah Carey’s “Fantasy.” I had a bunch of my dad’s friends come up to me being like, what was that song? I know that sample! There were aspects of the whole thing that were intergenerationally relevant.

Sharan: There was a cocktail hour outside, then we headed into the barn for the reception. We had a sit-down dinner served family-style: naan and rice and curries, and Indian desserts. Our planner was Leah Weinberg at Color Pop Events and her advice was not to worry so much about the décor because the venue was so open. Something we didn’t realize about cost when we picked the venue is how expensive it would be because you have to bring everything in. And so plates and cutlery and this boring stuff is not included in the price of the venue, so we didn’t really have budget to spend on decor. We ordered stuff on Etsy and Amazon, Indian decorations like garlands and lanterns, and spent all of Thursday decorating the venue ourselves, me, Rob, our brothers and their girlfriends.

Rob: Our florist, The Green Cottage, handled all the candles, and Sharan had this vision of just hanging up hundreds of photos around the barn, to capture everyone who was joining us and some folks who couldn’t be there. Hearing everyone’s reactions to the photos–that was a really cool and cheap way to do décor.

Sharan: Our first song was Miguel’s “Adorn.” My friend is a hip-hop dancer, as is his girlfriend, and we worked with them to choreograph a dance because we didn’t like the idea of us just doing a slow dance.

Rob: I love dancing, Sharan loves dancing. We definitely messed up, like I had never practiced in a suit before, and Sharan had never practiced in her wedding lehenga. But everyone around us was whooping the entire time.

Sharan: We wanted a mix of music that our friends and I would love, music that the parents would love, and also Bhaṅgṛā music. It was really hard to find a DJ who would do all that. We ended up working with DJ Scribe of 74 Events, and he did a good job of mixing it all together so it felt fluid.

Rob: The hora was absurd. Far and away the most raucous hora I’ve ever been a part of. I think one of the special things about a hora, and Indian dance, is everyone is just dancing with each other — it sounds cheesy but to see one of my colleagues locking arms with my college buddy dancing aimlessly, it’s like, What is happening? When some of the oldies were starting to drift out, that’s when there were fireworks. They were part of our venue’s shtick. I didn’t know this, but Punjabis love fireworks. I guess everyone loves fireworks. We were up until 2 or 3 in the morning. There was this funny moment in the barn, just us, where we were like, we did it. We had been working on this for a year; it was all-consuming. But we pulled it off.

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Megan & Pritpal’s Traditional Sikh Indian Wedding in Washington, DC

  • FEBRUARY 21, 2012 
  •  
  • 5 MINUTE READ

This. This is the Washington, DC wedding feature that always gets me giddy & restores my faith that DC isn’t just a one-note wedding city. Washington, DC is jam-packed with all different kinds of people [races, beliefs, shapes & sizes] and I always imagined my blog to reflect that. However, for whatever reason, I seem to get a significant amount of Caucasian/Christian wedding submissions [not that there’s anything wrong with that] only.

I want Capitol Romance to be varied with it’s features – I am striving to be creative, different from the norm, eclectic & offbeat; however, it isn’t completely in my control as it frankly comes down to what gets submitted to me…

*Stepping off my soapbox* So that is why I am giddy – giddy to share a beautiful, multi-cultural couple, that had a beautiful multi-cultural wedding. A Christian one and a traditional Sikh Indian wedding too, all right here in Washington, DC. Thanks to Amber Wilkie Photography [submitted via Two Bright Lights] for this amazing, multi-cultural Washington, DC wedding feature.

 Megan & Pritpal’s Multicultural Indian – Christian Wedding in Washington, DC

Penniston_Aujla_Amber_Wilkie_Photography

From wedding photographer, Amber Wilkie:

Megan and Pritpal were married beneath the Netherlands Carillon in Rosslyn in a traditional Sikh Indian wedding ceremony. As per custom, all their friends and family sat on the ground, while musicians played and a cantor read from the holy book. They circled the holy book four times, and then they were married! After we all headed to the Bombay Club for a rockin’ dance party.

Penniston_Aujla_Amber_Wilkie_Photography

And now the rest of the amazing details will come from the stunningly beautiful bride, Megan. Doesn’t Megan look like Rachel McAdams? I think so! 

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https://www.tribuneindia.com/news/archive/punjab/danish-woman-weds-punjab-s-drug-addict-gets-him-treated-in-serbia-799226

Danish woman weds Punjab''s drug addict, gets him treated in Serbia

GURDASPUR:Natasha Natalie Sommer, a Danish woman and a self-confessed chat addict, meets a hardcore heroin addict in Gurdaspur through the Internet, travels nearly 6,000 km to find him, marries him and reforms him.

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Updated At: Jul 10, 2019 06:54 AM (IST)
Danish woman weds Punjab''s drug addict, gets him treated in Serbia

Malkit and Natasha

ROBINSINGH@TRIBUNE.COM

 

Ravi Dhaliwal

Tribune News Service

Gurdaspur, July 8

Natasha Natalie Sommer, a Danish woman and a self-confessed chat addict, meets a hardcore heroin addict in Gurdaspur through the Internet, travels nearly 6,000 km to find him, marries him and reforms him. A surreal love story, indeed.

Natasha, who belongs to a well-off Copenhagen family with her father owning a coffee shop and several car garages, on January 1 this year nonchalantly started chatting with her virtual friend, clicking on one Malkit Singh (33), who hails from Sundal village of Gurdsapur. On the very first day, Malkit candidly admitted that he had been into drugs for the last several months because he could no more tolerate his mother’s constant taunts for being unemployed. 

“I took refuge in heroin. I confessed to Natasha that I had no job, was a junkie and was at the point of no-return,” he says.

Impressed with his “candour and sincerity", the Dane, a graduate, took a Qatar Airways flight to New Delhi three weeks later where she was received by her future husband, who brought her to his village. “My parents allowed me to fly to India and ever since have stood by me like a rock," says Natasha, who stayed in the nondescript village and tied the knot with Malkit on January 23 as per the Sikh rituals. Hundreds of villagers, bewildered by the turn of events, descended on Malkit’s residence to meet the "Mem".

On March 12, she took her husband to Belgrade (Serbia) to get him treated for addiction. The effect of heroin tapered off gradually and Malkit came out of the shackles of addiction. Apprehending that he may suffer a relapse, she brought him back to India in May and got him admitted to the Gurdaspur Red Cross de-addiction centre where project director Romesh Mahajan began treating him. 

“I wanted him to heal in his home environ,” she says. Malkit is now off drugs and the couple is all set to start a new life in Denmark. 

 “Next week, my husband will apply for a Danish visa and after that we will settle down in my country. I plan to open a car garage for him. My parents, relatives and friends are eager to help us,” she says.

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https://www.emilboczek.com/swedish-sikh-wedding-london

 
 
 
 
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Fusion London wedding photographer

Swedish / Sikh wedding in London.

Day one of a long three day wedding celebration - It was a pleasure to be a documentary London wedding photographer for this lovely couple.

Ceemony: Swedish Church in London.

Reception: The Happenstance Bar and Restaurant, London.

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https://www.desiblitz.com/content/punjabi-pakistani-bride-marries-indian-groom-in-punjab

Punjabi Pakistani Bride marries Indian Groom in Punjab

 

In a cross border union, Punjabi Pakistani bride Kiran Sarjeet Kaur weds Parvinder Singh from Ambala, Inda. The wedding is a positive sign for both nations.

 

 March 11, 2019
 
Punjabi Pakistani Bride marries Indian Groom in Punjab f
 
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"I hope everything will go as desired by the couple."

Punjabi Pakistani bride Kiran Sarjeet Kaur, aged 27, from Sialkot, Pakistan married 33-year-old Indian Parvinder Singh at a gurdwara in Patiala, Punjab, India.

The unique cross border marriage that took place on Saturday, March 9, 2019, was arranged by their families, who are distantly related.

Kiran is the niece of Parvinder’s aunt, who had stayed back in Sialkot following Partition.

This was the same for many others during this period where some family members stayed while others fled.

This is the first marriage between an Indian and a Pakistani following the renewed tensions between the two countries.

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Haha, 'BRAVE'

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9097267/Sikh-woman-speaks-parents-abandoned-didnt-want-arranged-marriage.html

Brave Sikh woman disowned by her family for rejecting an arranged marriage opens up on the agonising moment she walked away from them for love - and why her life has changed for the better

  • Sydney personal trainer candidly shares story of being disowned by her family
  • Jas Kaur expected to enter an arranged marriage but followed her heart instead
  • Kept new relationship a secret after finding love outside her culture and religion
  • Ms Kaur says she's become a better version of herself since being disowned 

By KYLIE STEVENS FOR DAILY MAIL AUSTRALIA

PUBLISHED: 09:46, 31 December 2020 | UPDATED: 10:09, 31 December 2020

 

 

A Sydney Sikh woman has candidly opened up about being disowned by her birth family for pursuing forbidden love with someone outside of her religion.

Next month will mark two years since Jas Kaur was abandoned by her family after she refused to fulfill their expectations of entering an arranged marriage and instead followed her heart for love outside her culture and religion.

The personal trainer hasn't looked back and says she's since become a better version of herself.

Ms Kaur, 28, has established her own personal training business, deepened her spiritual practice to Sikhism and connected with hundreds of women in a similar situation she was in a few years ago.

Her relationship with fellow personal trainer Sven Malte Koch is also going strong after she was forced to keep their blossoming love a secret for the first five months.

The only regret she has is not opening up sooner. 

Jas Kaur (left) was disowned by her family two years ago after she followed her heart and pursued a relationship with fellow personal trainer Sven Malte Koch (right)
 
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Jas Kaur (left) was disowned by her family two years ago after she followed her heart and pursued a relationship with fellow personal trainer Sven Malte Koch (right)

'The hardest thing was constantly lying about where I was and not being able to share one of the best things about my life, combined with the fact that my parents would bring up an arranged marriage whenever they had the chance,' Ms Kaur told Daily Mail Australia.

'I was torn between two worlds and finally realised that the double life had to end.

'If I didn't follow my heart and pursue my relationship, I would have denied a part of myself. I just couldn't let myself down like that.

'I told myself that it was better to risk it all and possibly fall flat on my face than to living in regret and spend the rest of my life wondering 'what if'.'

 

COMMENTS from website

The comments below have been moderated in advance.

 
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jr8383, Perth, Australia, 10 months ago

Very brave. I wish her well.

 
 
 
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JJ20200303, VIC, Australia, 10 months ago

How come there is still arranged marriage in 2021....

 
 
 
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Han, London, 10 months ago

Nightmare to lose your family but what an absolute legend. If you're reading this, please know that I and every other even mildly reasonable woman in australia are behind you. You got this, and I have so much respect for you and the courage you've shown. If you ever need us, get on Twitter and let us know. We'll be there. Xxx

 
 
 
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Sandyman64, Sandringham, Australia, 10 months ago

Good on her...love should know no bounds, especially in the 21st century...

 
 
 
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sydport, Sydney, Australia, 10 months ago

Good for her. Good luck to both of you

 
 
 
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Bazza man, Kent, United Kingdom, 10 months ago

well done young lady wish you both all the best Hopefully one day your family will accept western values

 
 
 
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TheRealThang, London, United Kingdom, 10 months ago

Congratulations to this brave woman

 
 
 
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Honest21, Australia, Australia, 10 months ago

Good on her so brave, read about people in other countries been even knocked off for leaving there arranged marriage so happy that didnt happen to her. Wishing her all the very best.

 
 
 
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PJC, Weston, 10 months ago

Well done!

 
 
 
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Annie 7, Sydney, Australia, 10 months ago

Her parents loss if the have children later on.

 
 
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    • yeh it's true, we shouldn't be lazy and need to learn jhatka shikaar. It doesn't help some of grew up in surrounding areas like Slough and Southall where everyone thought it was super bad for amrit dharis to eat meat, and they were following Sant babas and jathas, and instead the Singhs should have been normalising jhatka just like the recent world war soldiers did. We are trying to rectifiy this and khalsa should learn jhatka.  But I am just writing about bhog for those that are still learning rehit. As I explained, there are all these negative influences in the panth that talk against rehit, but this shouldn't deter us from taking khanda pahul, no matter what level of rehit we are!
    • How is it going to help? The link is of a Sikh hunter. Fine, but what good does that do the lazy Sikh who ate khulla maas in a restaurant? By the way, for the OP, yes, it's against rehit to eat khulla maas.
    • Yeah, Sikhs should do bhog of food they eat. But the point of bhog is to only do bhog of food which is fit to be presented to Maharaj. It's not maryada to do bhog of khulla maas and pretend it's OK to eat. It's not. Come on, bro, you should know better than to bring this Sakhi into it. Is this Sikh in the restaurant accompanied by Guru Gobind Singh ji? Is he fighting a dharam yudh? Or is he merely filling his belly with the nearest restaurant?  Please don't make a mockery of our puratan Singhs' sacrifices by comparing them to lazy Sikhs who eat khulla maas.
    • Seriously?? The Dhadi is trying to be cute. For those who didn't get it, he said: "Some say Maharaj killed bakras (goats). Some say he cut the heads of the Panj Piyaras. The truth is that they weren't goats. It was she-goats (ਬਕਰੀਆਂ). He jhatka'd she-goats. Not he-goats." Wow. This is possibly the stupidest thing I've ever heard in relation to Sikhi.
    • Instead of a 9 inch or larger kirpan, take a smaller kirpan and put it (without gatra) inside your smaller turban and tie the turban tightly. This keeps a kirpan on your person without interfering with the massage or alarming the masseuse. I'm not talking about a trinket but rather an actual small kirpan that fits in a sheath (you'll have to search to find one). As for ahem, "problems", you could get a male masseuse. I don't know where you are, but in most places there are professional masseuses who actually know what they are doing and can really relieve your muscle pains.
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