I want to get married

[dallysingh101]

This might sound comical, but I seriously mean it:

Any guys who don't have experience with women, get a female cat (a feisty one), let her be free to go outside: learn to understand and have a good relationship with her, it'll help with understanding your missus in future. 

[MisterrSingh]

2 hours ago, dallysingh101 said:

This bit is a bit vague, you might have to elaborate? 

How authentic and objective can a guy's perception of his existence be (and the decisions he makes according to his understanding of what he sees and feels) when that "reality" struggles to pay a passing resemblance to objective truth? When people - in this case, women - let the mask slip and reveal their true selves for the first time, guys' first thoughts are almost exclusively, "Why did I not see this earlier?" He didn't see it earlier because he had no reason to. That suggests that "former life" of his was almost a dream of sorts. Yet he was happy to prolong that dream because either he was honestly unaware, or he'd wilfully deceived himself on some level.

[dallysingh101]

7 hours ago, MisterrSingh said:

How authentic and objective can a guy's perception of his existence be (and the decisions he makes according to his understanding of what he sees and feels) when that "reality" struggles to pay a passing resemblance to objective truth? When people - in this case, women - let the mask slip and reveal their true selves for the first time, guys' first thoughts are almost exclusively, "Why did I not see this earlier?" He didn't see it earlier because he had no reason to. That suggests that "former life" of his was almost a dream of sorts. Yet he was happy to prolong that dream because either he was honestly unaware, or he'd wilfully deceived himself on some level.

Or having a whimsical perception, usually stemming from inexperience and/or willful self-delusion, and probably a hormonally driven thirst which makes him incapable of seeing beyond the physical. And I actually believe these things can also stem from an innate/intrinsic drive in men to get women pregnant that they subjectively experience as 'romance'.   

Plus I don't agree with you, it's usually streetwise/worldly experienced people who have an inkling of watching out for 'red flags'.  Even with that being said, in the long haul, anyone can get mugged off. 

 

PS - I don't think any human can actually think truly objectively.

[Premi5]

26 minutes ago, dallysingh101 said:

Or having a whimsical perception, usually stemming from inexperience and/or willful self-delusion, and probably a hormonally driven thirst which makes him incapable of seeing beyond the physical. And I actually believe these things can also stem from an innate/intrinsic drive in men to get women pregnant that they subjectively experience as 'romance'.   

Plus I don't agree with you, it's usually streetwise/worldly experienced people who have an inkling of watching out for 'red flags'.  Even with being said, in the long haul, anyone can get mugged off. 

Not surprising then that many are not getting married or a lot later than past times, would you say ?

[dallysingh101]

18 minutes ago, Premi5 said:

Not surprising then that many are not getting married or a lot later than past times, would you say ?

I think it's because the systems for enabling it have been fractured. Parents prevent their kids from finding their own partner whilst relatively young (indirectly suggesting they will hook them up in due time), and then suddenly expect them to find a partner themselves in later age. By this time many have had secret relationships that have ended.  What's left for them at this stage other than shaadi.com etc.  and settling. 

Plus a lot of them will now have baggage about 'the one' that got away, and secretly pine for them.  

[Guest Pyara]

20 hours ago, MisterrSingh said:

Do your due diligence. What does your gut instinct tell you about the person you're looking at for a marriage partner; not what everyone around you is chattering about in the hope to "sell" you her to you as a prospective wife. Then do some further digging, lmao.

There is no one i am looking at and nobody seems to want to "sell" me a prospective wife hence this misery eating me inside.Do you think it is culturally& socially accepted to approach girls at Gurdwara to ask their hand in marriage?

[Guest Pyara]

18 hours ago, dallysingh101 said:

If it's that important to you, you better be sharp. If you want to go for a beauty queen who's had guys buzzing around her from young, you might be setting yourself up for suicide.

Use your brains to avoid this or you'll only have yourself to blame.  

Yes very important for me.Beauty queen does not even appear in my dreams so i am realistic and just want a good wife.What are your tips  for being sharp?

[Guest Pyara]

16 hours ago, dallysingh101 said:

If he's just going to kill himself on finding that out, that's unfortunate but fair enough. But don't start killing other people as well, including the b1tch. 

Yes of course not. I would not want to be stuck on the other side with her. I doubt i would be able to kill myself twice.

Do you think it is culturally& socially accepted to approach girls at Gurdwara to ask their hand in marriage?

[Jai Tegang!]

It will sound controversial, but I think our biological age for pairing, the late teen years, is the ideal time for getting married, or at least roka/engaged. The couple can live together, study, work, and eventually start a family by the time they reach their mid-twenties. Instead of fighting the tide, it’s better to surf it. Kids spend their prime sexual years engaging in wasted pleasures that still leave them at square one when they hit their late 20’s. All that time could have been spent maturing and satisfying their urges in a controlled and fruitful bondage. The older we get, the more difficult it is to pair up. Our expectations keep getting more refined and unreasonable, and past sexual adventures only screw up emotional pairing further.

The other benefit I see from early hitching is that family can re-enter this traditional space like the old days and find matches for their children. I think the western model of chance is bullc&@p. We had better success in the old ways. Now you have kids and families with increasing anxiety as the kids edge towards their 30’s with no end in sight. We’ve changed the starting line way too far up. 

[MisterrSingh]

19 hours ago, dallysingh101 said:

Plus I don't agree with you, it's usually streetwise/worldly experienced people who have an inkling of watching out for 'red flags'.  Even with that being said, in the long haul, anyone can get mugged off.

That's the best understanding of this issue you can muster? You can do better than that. That's a very surface-level take on things. The way things are, it's gone beyond things like street-wise and rough-around-the-edges guys hanging around building sites being free-thinking renegades while middle-class office pappus are stuck in their little cubicle-shaped hell holes, lol.