I want to get married

[Premi5]

28 minutes ago, MisterrSingh said:

I wouldn't say "forced", just "expected." What else were they going to do if they wanted to indulge in carnal relations? Most people weren't going to disgrace themselves.

I also think the vast majority of people need someone "with" them in life or they retreat into themselves and become unwittingly self-centred and lacking perspective, if you know what I mean. Plus, if you happen to be one of the lucky ones it's nice to have someone to bounce ideas and things off, etc.

Agree. I know it's not Gurmat, but in vedic Astrology, it's quite an important concept that some people become more fulfilled/successful when they get married due to the partners influence

[Premi5]

30 minutes ago, MisterrSingh said:

I wouldn't say "forced", just "expected." What else were they going to do if they wanted to indulge in carnal relations? Most people weren't going to disgrace themselves.

not sure this applies much to women.

And, I know many people from previous generations who were not happy with their rishta but they really had no choice. 

[MisterrSingh]

32 minutes ago, Premi5 said:

not sure this applies much to women.

You're having a laugh bro. Just because the women in our lives didn't sneak around the pind or, later on, the English streets () that doesn't mean women just sit around on their hands.

[MisterrSingh]

35 minutes ago, Premi5 said:

And, I know many people from previous generations who were not happy with their rishta but they really had no choice. 

On what grounds? Looks or other stuff?

[Premi5]

Just now, MisterrSingh said:

On what grounds? Looks or other stuff?

Family background/reputation. I include my Mum's impression of my Dad's family in that..!

Arranged marriages (although increasingly less common) are better nowadays as there is usually mutual consent and freedom to make the choice. 

[MisterrSingh]

40 minutes ago, Premi5 said:

Family background/reputation. I include my Mum's impression of my Dad's family in that..!

That's a weird one, because from what I've always seen in my own life, family reputation / standing was paramount and non-negotiable. Everything else came second. You'd have to be mad to get a daughter or sister involved with a family of besharam kanjar.

[Ranjeet01]

On 10/2/2021 at 8:43 PM, Ranjeet01 said:

A lot of these women are starved for attention and a lot of blokes are under their wive's thumb.

Also women are more needy. 

Downvote I see.

Butthurt is Butthurt I guess.

[Ranjeet01]

2 hours ago, MisterrSingh said:

That's a weird one, because from what I've always seen in my own life, family reputation / standing was paramount and non-negotiable. Everything else came second. You'd have to be mad to get a daughter or sister involved with a family of besharam kanjar.

Sometimes the next generation is quite sh1tty and not be up to the standards of the family reputation.

We assume that reputation gets passed onto the next generation automatically, however the values need to passed down.

A lot of the next generation can become quite narcissistic because they benefit from the reputation but not understand that the reputation has to be earned.

[Ranjeet01]

5 hours ago, Premi5 said:

Do you think when men and women were forced/expected to get married in their teens that they were forced to mature quickly and 'man up or 'woman up' ?

They would just have to get on with it, right ?

In the olden days, people never went to college and started working early. They did not live in a society of extended adolescence.

[Premi5]

19 hours ago, Ranjeet01 said:

In the olden days, people never went to college and started working early. They did not live in a society of extended adolescence.

Far too many people these days are in higher education who will not get any direct benefit from it or are not suited. Some people who know they are best suited to working in trades should just be able to leave education at 16-17. 

This leads to another question. Some say that 'higher education' is designed in good part, to generate money (e.g. student loans, tuition fees, student accomodation etc) which is definitely true to some extent. What do you think ?

Is 'too much education' actually damaging people's family lives for their futures ?