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Guest Pyara

As the title suggests, I believe this has to be done sooner or later. Don't wish to end up like Californiasardar all lonely, frustrated at women and being a partypooper on every thread(just kidding).

Lets discuss,suggest,encourage,discourage me on this thought of mine.

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Crap article. I can guarantee this woman writer will do exactly same thing her mother does.  And funny thing is the irony would be lost on her.

You're right about being smart in the digital world because we know girls can now even get groomed online, with their parents right there in the same house. But the streets are still there; they haven

Nah, I just think this guy is weird. Threatening suicide no less! What kind of man is that? Not: I'll leave her or I'll divorce her but kill himself. If that's not weird then I don't know what else is

On 9/9/2021 at 9:16 AM, Guest Pyara said:

As the title suggests, I believe this has to be done sooner or later. Don't wish to end up like Californiasardar all lonely, frustrated at women and being a partypooper on every thread(just kidding).

Lets discuss,suggest,encourage,discourage me on this thought of mine.

You should absolutely. Get yourself in order and ask people you trust to hook it up. Be able to arriculate what's most important to you. 

Some things for consideration.

Commitment to Purtan Gursikhi. 

Commitment to Purtan Gursikhi. 

Keeping of Naam, Nitnem, Panj Kakkar, Saroop and Rehit. 

Which Rehit? Meat or no? Sukha or no?

Honesty.

Temperment.

Work ethic.

Profession or house?

Honesty

Kids educated where and how?

Materialism expectations?

Honesty

Real is more important than perfect. What is most important to you? What can you accept and care less about?

Integrity over looks every time bro. If you get both fine but that first one is everything. 

 

 

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Guest Pyara
On 9/18/2021 at 5:54 PM, GurjantGnostic said:

You should absolutely. Get yourself in order and ask people you trust to hook it up. Be able to arriculate what's most important to you. 

Some things for consideration.

Commitment to Purtan Gursikhi. 

Commitment to Purtan Gursikhi. 

Keeping of Naam, Nitnem, Panj Kakkar, Saroop and Rehit. 

Which Rehit? Meat or no? Sukha or no?

Honesty.

Temperment.

Work ethic.

Profession or house?

Honesty

Kids educated where and how?

Materialism expectations?

Honesty

Real is more important than perfect. What is most important to you? What can you accept and care less about?

Integrity over looks every time bro. If you get both fine but that first one is everything. 

 

 

Thank you bhaiji. Admin take so long to approve my post.Its like admin dont want me get married.

Most important is she must be virgin bhaiji and not party sharty type.

I cant accept if another man touch her before.If she lie me and suhaag raat I find out I commit suicide bhaiji.

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On 9/9/2021 at 5:16 PM, Guest Pyara said:

As the title suggests, I believe this has to be done sooner or later. Don't wish to end up like Californiasardar all lonely, frustrated at women and being a partypooper on every thread(just kidding).

Lets discuss,suggest,encourage,discourage me on this thought of mine.

Do your due diligence. What does your gut instinct tell you about the person you're looking at for a marriage partner; not what everyone around you is chattering about in the hope to "sell" you her to you as a prospective wife. Then do some further digging, lmao.

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1 hour ago, dallysingh101 said:

If it's that important to you, you better be sharp. If you want to go for a beauty queen who's had guys buzzing around her from young, you might be setting yourself up for suicide.

Use your brains to avoid this or you'll only have yourself to blame.  

This is the absolute crux of the matter; to find a girl who's pretty enough to get the lad hot and bothered BUT not too pretty that her attractiveness has made her a target for other lads from the moment, as they say in Punjabi, her jawani char gayi in her mid-teens onwards.

Before the undercover brahmgyanis chime in about prioritising kamayi and Gurmukh values, for those of our people who don't float around in their own little Satyug that keeps the rest of the Kalyugi world out (a bit like Trump's non-existent wall), these are valid considerations that should be looked at in detail for the rank-and-file people of our community.

If the guy himself is between the 4-7 range of attractiveness, he needs to look for a girl within the same range. BUT Punjabi guys (and men in general) over-estimate their physical appeal. A man, more than anyone, has a tendency to inflate his own sense of being. He finds it very difficult to process that he may not be what he thinks he is.

A guy in this 4-7 range (which is the vast majority of males on the planet) going after a 9 or 10 girl is living in cloud-cuckoo land if he thinks even a typically middle-class, middle-income job (£30-60k) is going to keep a top-tier girl placated for the next 40-50 years of her life (or at least until she lets her self go or hits the menopause depending on what comes first. Even then her appeal to men may fade, but her aadataa -- habits -- will be nigh on set in stone. If they're rotten since decades eariler, the guy is in for trouble). I'd go as far to say that even a multi-millionaire would need to be on-top of his game from the day he's married to the day he drops dead in order to keep a 9 or 10 as his wife.

Today, more than ever, a girl's history counts so much. From what I've seen, the majority of apne guys live in a world that is detached from reality. They may consider themselves street-smart and worldly, but in many respects their understanding of the world is, IMO, based on an inaccurate simulation of a wider culture they don't truly understand. As such, those blind-spots is where they end up being blind-sided by the unforeseen.

Then you've got to figure out whether her jawani had indeed gone to her head quite a while ago, or if she's been sensible with it. The answer to this question, IMO, comes IN PART from studying the immediate family, i.e. the dad, mum, and siblings.

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51 minutes ago, dallysingh101 said:

If he's just going to kill himself on finding that out, that's unfortunate but fair enough. But don't start killing other people as well, including the b1tch. 

Do you think our guys in the West are as prone to the dramatics as resorting to suicide? I personally think they've thrown in the towel; a quiet acceptance of defeat which is mostly attributable to the broader culture that has compounded the idea that it's toxic for a man to question a lady about her antics. 

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2 hours ago, dallysingh101 said:

This bit is a bit vague, you might have to elaborate? 

How authentic and objective can a guy's perception of his existence be (and the decisions he makes according to his understanding of what he sees and feels) when that "reality" struggles to pay a passing resemblance to objective truth? When people - in this case, women - let the mask slip and reveal their true selves for the first time, guys' first thoughts are almost exclusively, "Why did I not see this earlier?" He didn't see it earlier because he had no reason to. That suggests that "former life" of his was almost a dream of sorts. Yet he was happy to prolong that dream because either he was honestly unaware, or he'd wilfully deceived himself on some level.

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7 hours ago, MisterrSingh said:

How authentic and objective can a guy's perception of his existence be (and the decisions he makes according to his understanding of what he sees and feels) when that "reality" struggles to pay a passing resemblance to objective truth? When people - in this case, women - let the mask slip and reveal their true selves for the first time, guys' first thoughts are almost exclusively, "Why did I not see this earlier?" He didn't see it earlier because he had no reason to. That suggests that "former life" of his was almost a dream of sorts. Yet he was happy to prolong that dream because either he was honestly unaware, or he'd wilfully deceived himself on some level.

Or having a whimsical perception, usually stemming from inexperience and/or willful self-delusion, and probably a hormonally driven thirst which makes him incapable of seeing beyond the physical. And I actually believe these things can also stem from an innate/intrinsic drive in men to get women pregnant that they subjectively experience as 'romance'.   

Plus I don't agree with you, it's usually streetwise/worldly experienced people who have an inkling of watching out for 'red flags'.  Even with that being said, in the long haul, anyone can get mugged off. 

 

PS - I don't think any human can actually think truly objectively.

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26 minutes ago, dallysingh101 said:

Or having a whimsical perception, usually stemming from inexperience and/or willful self-delusion, and probably a hormonally driven thirst which makes him incapable of seeing beyond the physical. And I actually believe these things can also stem from an innate/intrinsic drive in men to get women pregnant that they subjectively experience as 'romance'.   

Plus I don't agree with you, it's usually streetwise/worldly experienced people who have an inkling of watching out for 'red flags'.  Even with being said, in the long haul, anyone can get mugged off. 

Not surprising then that many are not getting married or a lot later than past times, would you say ?

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18 minutes ago, Premi5 said:

Not surprising then that many are not getting married or a lot later than past times, would you say ?

I think it's because the systems for enabling it have been fractured. Parents prevent their kids from finding their own partner whilst relatively young (indirectly suggesting they will hook them up in due time), and then suddenly expect them to find a partner themselves in later age. By this time many have had secret relationships that have ended.  What's left for them at this stage other than shaadi.com etc.  and settling. 

Plus a lot of them will now have baggage about 'the one' that got away, and secretly pine for them.  

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