How to deal with death

[MisterrSingh]

7 hours ago, Suchi said:

I understand what you are saying. You can ask her in your mind or out loud and wait for a sign. 

After my mother died I kept wondering about her though I had many dreams. But during the last one I asked her where she was and she said she was 'in India with her mother'. This made perfect sense to me. 

 

Generally speaking (I'm not making this about your particular experience), if her last rites were performed according to Sikh maryada, then she wouldn't "be" with anyone, much less in a specific country with another person. That's what happens to so-called ghosts or spirits who haven't been able to pass over; they cling to people they loved or with whom they had an affinity when alive.

Sikhi states, from the various things I've read over the years, that the worst thing that can possibly happen for the deceased is for their essence to remain tied to a living person or people. This would suggest the final paats, ardaasa, etc., conducted in the name of the deceased didn't work or fulfil their intended purpose. Then you have to ask yourself, "why?"

[Redoptics]

1 hour ago, MisterrSingh said:

Generally speaking (I'm not making this about your particular experience), if her last rites were performed according to Sikh maryada, then she wouldn't "be" with anyone, much less in a specific country with another person. That's what happens to so-called ghosts or spirits who haven't been able to pass over; they cling to people they loved or with whom they had an affinity when alive.

Sikhi states, from the various things I've read over the years, that the worst thing that can possibly happen for the deceased is for their essence to remain tied to a living person or people. This would suggest the final paats, ardaasa, etc., conducted in the name of the deceased didn't work or fulfil their intended purpose. Then you have to ask yourself, "why?"

I dont believe in ghost or spirits,  what i was referring to is ik, now she gone bk home but i can not engage with her, does that make sense,  or am o dumb 

[Suchi]

On 10/21/2021 at 9:47 PM, MisterrSingh said:

Generally speaking (I'm not making this about your particular experience), if her last rites were performed according to Sikh maryada, then she wouldn't "be" with anyone, much less in a specific country with another person. That's what happens to so-called ghosts or spirits who haven't been able to pass over; they cling to people they loved or with whom they had an affinity when alive.

Sikhi states, from the various things I've read over the years, that the worst thing that can possibly happen for the deceased is for their essence to remain tied to a living person or people. This would suggest the final paats, ardaasa, etc., conducted in the name of the deceased didn't work or fulfil their intended purpose. Then you have to ask yourself, "why?"

Hmm. From my understanding where you go depends on one's beliefs.

Though we believed we had performed all the rites according to her beliefs as an Arya Samaji, it maybe we didn't. She was essentially killed by the NHS for which there was an autopsy and it appeared to us that she was in considerable pain before death. So we also asked priests in India to undertake Shanti rituals which they did. 

Her real mother died in 1998 in India having lived with my parents during her last year.

My mother had been given at birth to her widowed aunt on her father's side, who had lost her husband and 3 children by the age of 30.  They were all forced out of their home during Partition too for which the whole family suffered psychologically as well as due to the forced poverty.  They were never compensated for their loss of property as was promised. 

So it maybe she was severely affected by all these events and felt a need to be with her real mother. As she never talked about her beliefs we can only guess what her real wishes were.  

As my father believed in reincarnation he talked about being with my mother in his next life and clearly said he will even follow her to the ends of the earth.  We gave him the same rituals as my mother as he had said he was an agnostic. We also did additional Shanti rituals for him as well. 

So the rituals may not be the whole story as the persons stated desires perhaps also play a part. 

But you have not mentioned reincarnation as an option rather than a ghost. From my understanding ghosts don't have a body until they reincarnate. 

Edit.

Satguru says a distressful death can affect your soul's journey thereafter. But that may mean those that die at the hands of the NHS may go to Hell as they are usually full of drugs, and no-one bothers with calling a priest prior to death. So where are we heading?

I met an ex NHS social worker who said he saw a ghost whilst on night shift in a hospital who turned out to be a patient that had died a year before. 

 

 

 

 

 

[Redoptics]

On 10/21/2021 at 9:47 PM, MisterrSingh said:

Generally speaking (I'm not making this about your particular experience), if her last rites were performed according to Sikh maryada, then she wouldn't "be" with anyone, much less in a specific country with another person. That's what happens to so-called ghosts or spirits who haven't been able to pass over; they cling to people they loved or with whom they had an affinity when alive.

Sikhi states, from the various things I've read over the years, that the worst thing that can possibly happen for the deceased is for their essence to remain tied to a living person or people. This would suggest the final paats, ardaasa, etc., conducted in the name of the deceased didn't work or fulfil their intended purpose. Then you have to ask yourself, "why?"

Cheers brov

[S1ngh]

On 10/21/2021 at 1:47 PM, MisterrSingh said:

Generally speaking (I'm not making this about your particular experience), if her last rites were performed according to Sikh maryada, then she wouldn't "be" with anyone, much less in a specific country with another person. That's what happens to so-called ghosts or spirits who haven't been able to pass over; they cling to people they loved or with whom they had an affinity when alive.

Sikhi states, from the various things I've read over the years, that the worst thing that can possibly happen for the deceased is for their essence to remain tied to a living person or people. This would suggest the final paats, ardaasa, etc., conducted in the name of the deceased didn't work or fulfil their intended purpose. Then you have to ask yourself, "why?"

Exactly truth.

By reading this, I remember the story of Bhai Randhir Singh staying at the Haveli whose owner didn’t get mukti and was haunted for long time and desperately wanted mukti.

[Suchi]

A couple of years ago I met someone who told me that he knew someone's grandmother who had died and occasionally came back and took over her daughters body when she wanted to relay some advice regarding the family. He was a witness to it as it was a family member though I can't recall exactly who it was. 

He said you could tell it was real as the daughter's voice changed as her body was taken over.  So clearly it was the spirit of this grandmother that could do this. 

I also have experience of having my soul hijacked whilst I was asleep on two occasions. These were not dreams as I had the sensation of my soul coming back into my body as I stirred. I had been saying out loud that I will live to be 100 as I had been made very sick. So in the last 'dream' some people were trying to tell me that I was very sick and would die soon as i could hardly walk. After I got up I said out loud that whoever was doing this to stop right now as I do not consent and if they need to persuade me to die they have zero power over my thoughts or intentions.

 

[Suchi]

On 10/23/2021 at 7:26 PM, S1ngh said:

Exactly truth.

By reading this, I remember the story of Bhai Randhir Singh staying at the Haveli whose owner didn’t get mukti and was haunted for long time and desperately wanted mukti.

Yes, I feel the same happened to my father following his mistreatment by the NHS as he died alone and in distress due to the negligence of the district nurse as well as others. My attempts to bring these people to book were sabotaged in many ways. 

I had a dream of him being extremely distressed which came after I had written something positive about him. It seemed that those holding him released him after these thoughts. This was 2 years after his passing. Even the last dream I had about him was not great but better than before. So I have been honouring him on his death anniversary and his birthday in the hope it will help him find peace. 

 

[dallysingh101]

I don't know if this is Panjabi folk culture, or a clever way to stop people dwelling too much on the deceased, but I clearly remember being told (when young) not to remember people who have passed on too much, because it keeps them tied to this plane.   

Make of it what you will. 

[Redoptics]

1 hour ago, dallysingh101 said:

I don't know if this is Panjabi folk culture, or a clever way to stop people dwelling too much on the deceased, but I clearly remember being told (when young) not to remember people who have passed on too much, because it keeps them tied to this plane.   

Make of it what you will. 

I'm human bother, obviously my mind goes 2 my wife im not  a Guru or Gursikh 

[dallysingh101]

1 hour ago, Redoptics said:

I'm human bother, obviously my mind goes 2 my wife im not  a Guru or Gursikh 

Brother I hear you. I couldn't get the image of my bro in his coffin out of my head for quite a while. We're all human.

Let me put it on you. What practical steps have you done to help move on? And I'm not going to judge. I was frozen for a while and it took a family member getting me a job with a roofing firm (as a labourer) to help get me out of it. They roughed me up hardcore over there with the work and harsh, hostile environment  - but it was just what I needed. Focusing on all the physical stuff, and day to day survival took me out of my head.

Looking back, in the aftermath of the funeral, I trained like I never had before, I think this was a way of spending a lot of, pent up confusion and energy (probably also because I had a training partner as well then, who was motivated because he was getting hitched).

What steps are you taking?