What is the right age to get married?

[jkvlondon]

2 minutes ago, dallysingh101 said:

It doesn't just seem to be anyone - but anything (including animals by the looks of it).  

it is never their fault , even the inanimate objects are conspiring against them ...fitte muh

[jkvlondon]

18 hours ago, dallysingh101 said:

That's a lame repertoire bro.

don't knock him he's miles ahead of the average jatinder

[dallysingh101]

46 minutes ago, jkvlondon said:

well the big tell was when she warned him that she was unhappy and wanted to end things (about four months before actioning anything) his reaction was not 'why? what did I do wrong ? ' but 'my mother would have died if she heard that' (mum died of covid and did not have a good relationship with sis)  'no one will marry my brother if I have a divorce' nothinng to do with his daughter nothing to do with his own relationship to her .  He is literally more  worried about not being able to falsely host in 'his' home and entrap another girl's family to his brother .
He was told by my younger brother and Mum if he wants to keep the marriage he has to work on it by going to counselling , he made no effort in that direction , carried on being spiteful about my sis's work and efforts in the home , ignoring his daughter on the regular , not even supervising her homework (kids bright just needs pointing) . He had caused my sis to have a nervous breakdown prior to her speaking up which resulted in her being signed off for a month from work .  Because she time to think and got assigned a counsellor she started putting the dots together and realised what she was dealing with and how he was never going to be a partcipant or support to the family life.

I've got close family who are sociopaths, conversations with them are really weird. There's obviously an emotional dimension completely missing. What's really sad is seeing the kids develop, and them slowly realising something's not quite right with the parent. And then the contention they have to witness. 

Like I said previously, with hindsight, all the signs are there. It's a shame that people get caught out. Apnay need to create a profile of these types so others can be forewarned.

That all being said (as Gurjant sort of alluded to in another post), there are some females who seem to live intune with the narcissist type, they've probably been raised by one themselves?  So they like to play along with the dikhawaa and status obsession. It's normalised behaviour for them. 

[Premi5]

4 minutes ago, dallysingh101 said:

I've got close family who are sociopaths, conversations with them are really weird. There's obviously an emotional dimension completely missing. What's really sad is seeing the kids develop, and them slowly realising something's not quite right with the parent. And then the contention they have to witness. 

Like I said previously, with hindsight, all the signs are there. It's a shame that people get caught out. Apnay need to create a profile of these types so others can be forewarned.

That all being said (as Gurjant sort of alluded to in another post), there are some females who seem to live intune with the narcissist type, they've probably been raised by one themselves?  So they like to play along with the dikhawaa and status obsession. It's normalised behaviour for them. 

Are women 'attracted' to these types  ? Are they more 'alpha'?

[jkvlondon]

7 minutes ago, dallysingh101 said:

I've got close family who are sociopaths, conversations with them are really weird. There's obviously an emotional dimension completely missing. What's really sad is seeing the kids develop, and them slowly realising something's not quite right with the parent. And then the contention they have to witness. 

Like I said previously, with hindsight, all the signs are there. It's a shame that people get caught out. Apnay need to create a profile of these types so others can be forewarned.

That all being said (as Gurjant sort of alluded to in another post), there are some females who seem to live intune with the narcissist type, they've probably been raised by one themselves?  So they like to play along with the dikhawaa and status obsession. It's normalised behaviour for them. 

I think in her case he sniffed out her desperation to get settled , blood in the water ... all it took was the right amount of flattery and flowery words and he was in . My Mum accompanied her to India to meet his widowed mother and little bro apparently they have nothing to do with the rest of their family either side (which is major nono for apnay). My Dad had warned everyone not to let her get married to him just before he died  (dad was heavy into bhagti and had said things which then came to pass). Unfortunately my Mum and Nana ji just thought to let her get married then and there so, I never saw my sister's anand Karaj neither did either of my brothers .
He isn't alpha to look at , or in status at the time  he just played on her sympathies for his 'sob story' , how his father died when he was young (at first we thought when he was little kid but no when he had completed schooling) and he was main support of his family working in Abu Dhabi and sending money back to Ludhiana  (except he was not doing it regularly as he was still trying to get money out of his employers after he arrived in UK) .

[dallysingh101]

8 minutes ago, Premi5 said:

Are women 'attracted' to these types  ? Are they more 'alpha'?

Not necessarily more alpha: they attract women because (like I mentioned earlier) they'll do their homework and have some rudimentary grasp of human psychology. They find out small details about their intended target (likes and dislikes) and present themselves accordingly. They might shower the women with gifts, compliments and whatnot in the early days - if that's what they think they want. Whatever personality/identity they present in the early days is just one they made up to get the target's barriers down.

Also they seem to be attracted to vulnerable types, so the person they will target might be having her own issues. 

The most satisfying thing I've seen is two narcissist people 'find' each other. In due time they will start to rip each other apart. It would be hilarious if it wasn't for the fact that you can see the effects on their kids (who seem to be some sort of tool for the parents games), you can literally see the scarcely hidden pain on the child's face.

Remember women can very often be sociopaths too! 

[dallysingh101]

15 minutes ago, jkvlondon said:

he just played on her sympathies for his 'sob story' , how his father died when he was young (at first we thought when he was little kid but no when he had completed schooling) and he was main support of his family working in Abu Dhabi and sending money back to Ludhiana 

That's a VERY common tactic. The sob story. These nuts sense people's empathetic nature and rinse it out. 

At this stage in life, I realise that you have to essentially be an investigative journalist type (as well as a psychologist) and check everything out to reduce the chance of getting f**ked over.   

If you are the empathetic type, you need to realise you'll be attracting narcs to yourself, whether you like it or not. 

It's some strange energy attraction thing??

[jkvlondon]

14 minutes ago, dallysingh101 said:

That's a VERY common tactic. The sob story. These nuts sense people's empathetic nature and rinse it out. 

At this stage in life, I realise that you have to essentially be an investigative journalist type (as well as a psychologist) and check everything out to reduce the chance of getting f**ked over.   

If you are the empathetic type, you need to realise you'll be attracting narcs to yourself, whether you like it or not. 

It's some strange energy attraction thing??

like moths to the flame ... it is a universal truth that goodness will attract evil that's why Guru ji armed us to not make us victims , bibek budhi, shastar  and gurbani weapons in every sense

[jkvlondon]

elon musk's first wife on the Narcissist himself :

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JF-KrSnixr4

[Jacfsing2]

2 hours ago, dallysingh101 said:

I think a lot of us from Panjabi backgrounds probably feel that the predominant factor that'll come into play when it comes to marriage will be Panjabi culture, and not Sikhi.  

But what you are saying is bang on point.

It's a shame we have to start thinking about other crap.  

I think men in general don’t really care how educated or how much money a woman makes when looking for a partner. I don’t think men and women should look for the same qualities in the other person tbh.