System for Anand Karaj or Match Making

[Jacfsing2]

55 minutes ago, MisterrSingh said:

I think women generally behave in an imitative manner whereas men err towards an innovative mindset. Outliers are obviously a reality in both cases but not the norm. If the Singh signals his dedication to his beliefs and his desire to see out his life according to those same beliefs, a Singhni who has no desire to create waves will recognise, admire, and quietly step in-line with her man. If the Singh, however, conveys a scattered, disorganised, or lax attitude to the important things, then his woman will also begin to convey a degree of similar behaviour. All this is only relevant IF both parties are on the same page. Of course, we've all heard of instances where an NRI Punjabi guy prone to indulging in partying and drinking culture, etc., got married to a girl from the pind, and through a certain form of positive nagging she made him relinquish his destructive habits. Those women are rare. Nowadays, there's no desire to mould a diamond in the rough, lol. Not that they should, tbf, men should behave like men, not overgrown kids.

So women are more likely to change than men from a marriage? 

[MisterrSingh]

12 minutes ago, Jacfsing2 said:

So women are more likely to change than men from a marriage? 

Adapt is the more accurate term. Change is vague and could mean anything.

And you're looking at it from the wrong perspective, almost as if marriage is a transformative experience for all parties. I gave you one particular example that perhaps no longer applies to the current generations of Sikhs.

[jkvlondon]

4 hours ago, S1ngh said:

Many great responses above ^^ 

It is in waheguru jees hand whether the marriage will prosper or fail. Compatibility between two is also depends on how they think of each other and outside influence does not have any play in it. How they grew from age 1 to 20+ is the time that will decide rest of their life course. 

Does jewish community has something like this as they are also scattered around the globe? In this age, we should have a system which is managed 24/7 by a team of professionals rather than just money making scheme or uploading a dating script and let it run. I like it to be non-profit with strong privacy controls ; like visitors cannot see the image unless they register. Registration will go thru vetting process by professionals manually reaching out to them etc etc. Inactive/dormant profiles gets deleted etc. 

I am willing to donate my money for such project but i believe that such project requires a strong team with same type of thinking. What do you guys think?

jewish people have matchmakers both in orthodox and liberal circles but of course these days they have loads of 'love' marriages . Most are run ith some sort of kickback either in terms of higher reputation/respect or money.

[jkvlondon]

4 hours ago, MisterrSingh said:

I think women geerally behave in an imitative manner whereas men err towards an innovative mindset. Outliers are obviously a reality in both cases but not the norm. If the Singh signals his dedication to his beliefs and his desire to see out his life according to those same beliefs, a Singhni who has no desire to create waves will recognise, admire, and quietly step in-line with her man. If the Singh, however, conveys a scattered, disorganised, or lax attitude to the important things, then his woman will also begin to convey a degree of similar behaviour. All this is only relevant IF both parties are on the same page, i.e. both parties wish to remain married (as opposed to one of them seeking a way out). Of course, we've all heard of instances where an NRI Punjabi guy prone to indulging in partying and drinking culture, etc., got married to a girl from the pind, and through a certain form of positive nagging she made him relinquish his destructive habits. Those women are rare. Nowadays, there's no desire to mould a diamond in the rough, lol. Not that they should, tbf, men should behave like men, not overgrown kids.

don't know if I can agree totally with the female bashing here , I have known many bibian who were more devout than their men and their attitude and bhagti lead to Guru ji opening up their mens eyes to sikhi and amrit jeevan. The problem is now bibian can choose to remove themselves from destructive unsikh households (frankly what the H did the parents do , by not making sure it was a good household??) because the previous stigma of divorce is considered much less and sufferable than not being able to live their life in a sikh way.

[Jacfsing2]

9 minutes ago, jkvlondon said:

don't know if I can agree totally with the female bashing here , I have known many bibian who were more devout than their men and their attitude and bhagti lead to Guru ji opening up their mens eyes to sikhi and amrit jeevan. The problem is now bibian can choose to remove themselves from destructive unsikh households (frankly what the H did the parents do , by not making sure it was a good household??) because the previous stigma of divorce is considered much less and sufferable than not being able to live their life in a sikh way.

A woman or man shouldn’t marry someone who’s religiousness is too much or too little for them to deal with. A proper Nihang Singh wouldn’t really be compatible with a regular Dil Saaf party girl. 

[Jai Tegang!]

Having a centralized team, or smaller localized teams, behind the scenes verifying accounts and corresponding directly would really set this service apart. Perhaps a prototype could be launched using this site by creating a matrimonial section? Have anonymous postings with a verification vichola that connects the matches? Just brainstorming.

[MisterrSingh]

1 hour ago, jkvlondon said:

don't know if I can agree totally with the female bashing here , I have known many bibian who were more devout than their men and their attitude and bhagti lead to Guru ji opening up their mens eyes to sikhi and amrit jeevan. The problem is now bibian can choose to remove themselves from destructive unsikh households (frankly what the H did the parents do , by not making sure it was a good household??) because the previous stigma of divorce is considered much less and sufferable than not being able to live their life in a sikh way.

I'm painting a very broad picture, which is why I included that anecdote about Sikh women who transform their husband's lives after marriage, effectively putting their husbands on the straight and narrow. It's very rare but I know of a couple of instances where it's happened. Granted, a hardened criminal from a messed up background isn't going to reform his ways and see the light just because his new Punjaban missus gives him grief, BUT guys who are less along the road of self-destruction, and a tad more amenable to compromise, have been known to buck up their ideas at the behest of their women.

[S1ngh]

2 hours ago, Jai Tegang! said:

Having a centralized team, or smaller localized teams, behind the scenes verifying accounts and corresponding directly would really set this service apart. Perhaps a prototype could be launched using this site by creating a matrimonial section? Have anonymous postings with a verification vichola that connects the matches? Just brainstorming.

This is a very good idea. This will bring in postings of those who hesitates and do not want to announce to the world that they are looking.

[jkvlondon]

3 hours ago, Jai Tegang! said:

Having a centralized team, or smaller localized teams, behind the scenes verifying accounts and corresponding directly would really set this service apart. Perhaps a prototype could be launched using this site by creating a matrimonial section? Have anonymous postings with a verification vichola that connects the matches? Just brainstorming.

main concern of our gursikhs is the character or nature of the family and the prospectives , in the old system in Punjab people of each pind knew the families and thus could verify truth of claimed nature /sikhi in the prospectives family and themselves so the vichola would approach his/her counterpart in that village to ask . Maybe the anonymous vichola could play similar part as often parents may be straight arrows but their son/daughters dodgy or vice versa . I mean peer group would know better a person's behaviour as illustrated by previous discussions

This would be handy for divorced innocents as a character referral system as often bibian are blamed for what was the guy's bad behaviour and vice versa if they are supported by local sangat  then prospectives would have a level of confidence that they are worth looking at

[Premi5]

On 11/25/2021 at 2:31 AM, S1ngh said:

Anyone got any good idea on how we can fix the problem of "Not finding the match". Sikhs around the globe may have cultural differences but we all have a common foundation/ground which is our Guru Sahibs teaching. I believe that our community is having hard time in finding the right match. 

My wish is to see a website running a state of art system where it helps our community in a match making or match introduction type of thing. A simple dating script or a website like shaadi.com or sikhmatrimonials.com is not good enough. Good reputable setup solely based on helping our community. Support live agent system to handle queries and privacy protection system etc. 

Any ideas? Is it doable? 

There are plenty of Sikh matrimonial services in the UK- most Gurdwaras have one also.

There’s also ‘meet and greets’ where family can attend in London and Birmingham at least

This is the London one I’m aware of

https://m.facebook.com/SikhShaadiUK/?locale2=en_GB&__tn__=*s-R

If you want to include ‘love support’ you will need to employ a lot of staff

This will make it costly to run and expensive to subscribe to which will limit users