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Panjab marriages and exodus


5aaban
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3 hours ago, 5aaban said:

This is a bit of a rant of what I've personally seen in Panjab 

Many Sikhs (youth) have no strong ambition in life other than moving to a country like Canada, England, Australia or NZ. As soon as they finish Grade 12, they start preparing for a test called IELTS and then collect large sums of money to pay fees. Numerous coaching centres for this test have opened up on almost every street in Panjabi cities.

I know there are less opportunities for people in Panjab than abroad but can't deny the youth in this generation are lazy. A lot refuse to even help out in family farms and expect their parents pay for IELTS and their whole visa process. Their farms which are now looked after by hired Indians from other states such as Bihari's (there is one migrant from UP or Bihar for every five Panjabis). Panjabi songs & cinema are somewhat responsible for this behaviour. So many families take out big loans or even put their land & houses on mortgage so they can afford preparing for the test and then pay for visa process. college/university fees etc. Most Sikh youth I've talked to Panjab think living abroad is some fairytale where nothing can go wrong. 

I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to move to another country but the way some fulfil "ambition" has broken social fabrics of Panjab. 

There are cases of contract/sham marriages in Panjab every other day. These are sometimes done through Anand Karaj. Lavan don't hold the same meaning and have become a business for some people. They're merely done for benefits where the couple divorces after taking the partner abroad. Sometimes it's the girl or boys families who are encouraging them to get into such marriages. A Panjabi Sikh even married his own sister at a Gurdwara so she could get a visa! 

There are advertisements for girls (can be young as 18) from less wealthy families who can score a good mark in the IELTS test and they're "contract" married to wealthier males who bear the expenses to travel to foreign countries. The groom can then get a partner visa and the couple usually divorces. There have been cases of domestic violence by the grooms families if the bride isn't able to score an adequate mark. Some females have also gone abroad alone on the groom's money and then completely blocked contact with them once they're out or send the grooms to foreign jails. There are also abandoned wives who are married to NRI's but get deserted after a few months. More than 3,300 such complaints have been filed by the cheated families with the Ministry of External Affairs by cheated families, 3000 of them are from Panjab.

Marriage has become a money-making scheme for people. I've personally seen some cases like these. 

According to this ‘contract marriage’ in Punjab, families of young men who want to settle abroad, enter into matrimonial alliance with girls who have passed IELTS. The groom’s family foots the bill for visa fee, overseas education fee, travel charges and overseas stay of the bride. This runs up to Rs 25 to 50 lakhs.The groom’s family spends money in the hope that she would ultimately get permanent residence there and then send spouse visa to her husband to go and stay with her in foreign land. Touts and local agents approach families of prospective grooms with details of girls who have cleared IELTS exam. 

Example of a contract marriage gone wrong 

“We got our son [Harpreet] married in July 2018. In January 2019, my daughter-in-law, who had scored well in the IELTS (International English Language Testing System), went to Canada on a study visa. After reaching Canada, she conveyed to my son that she did not want continue her relationship with him as she had plans to spend her life with another person,” Manjeet Singh, Mr. Harpreet’s father, told The Hindu. “It was a shock for the family. My son is in extreme distress. We have not yet come to terms with it. I spent around ₹28 lakh on the wedding, paid for her air tickets, the institute’s fees... we did not think such a fraud would be played on us.”

https://www.scoopwhoop.com/brother-sister-from-punjab-marry-australia-visa/

https://www.sbs.com.au/language/english/audio/ielts-brides-the-business-of-marriage-in-punjab

https://www.indiatoday.in/magazine/the-big-story/story/20190121-sham-marriages-revenge-of-the-brides-1427714-2019-01-15

https://www.thehindu.com/news/national/other-states/punjabs-contract-marriages-are-not-marital-disputes-but-cases-of-cheating/article35799689.ece

https://www.sbs.com.au/language/english/foreign-dreams-what-s-driving-the-exodus-of-youth-from-punjab

 

What do you suggest to change the situation ?

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  • The title was changed to Panjab marriages and exodus
1 hour ago, Premi5 said:

The West is a large area compared to Panjab. South India or other parts of India might be an opportunity for some if they are educated or have a good business, and want to stay closer to home. 

The problem is, any brain drain outside of Punjab is still not centered on developing Punjab to prevent future brain drains. A Sikh youth could hypothetically have the goal to develop Punjab after being successful, but due to constraints and being tied down somewhere else, it becomes harder as each generation goes by to make Punjab developed. 

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On 1/31/2022 at 10:25 AM, Kaurr said:

Oh my god thank you. Literally pisses me off when I see all this. This stuff is all business, not marriage. 

Our people should focus on building a good homeland in Punjab, actually create jobs their and make it them well paying and worth staying in. Create a better place.

And the entertainment industry, well we need another company that makes different type of movies from the classic, girl is abroad, boy is some random pendu from India, girl hates boy but boy likes girl and then comes the creepy following around and stalking and stuff, girl eventually likes the boy and they get married. Like bro, there is so much more different potential we have but nope, we just have to have these types of movies. 

 

The Panjabi entertainment industry is definitely to blame, we need new concepts different from the typical comic love stories set in Canada or England or music videos with exotic girls dancing around.

These IELTS coaching centres have opened up on almost every street in towns and cities of Panjab. It's visually disturbing. 

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3 minutes ago, 5aaban said:

Glad to find a like-minded person. The Panjabi entertainment industry is definitely to blame, we need new concepts different from the typical comic love stories set in Canada or England.  

These IELTS coaching centres have opened up on almost every street in towns and cities of Panjab, it's actually disturbing. 

I get why these people move abroad, my parents did the same after they couldn't find a well paying job even through they worked their arses off for their degrees. But I feel like instead of running away from the problem, which is what is happening, and glorifying it in the name of the Punjabi entertainment, why not fix it.

 

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On 1/31/2022 at 11:34 AM, Kaurr said:

I get why these people move abroad, my parents did the same after they couldn't find a well paying job even through they worked their arses off for their degrees. But I feel like instead of running away from the problem, which is what is happening, and glorifying it in the name of the Punjabi entertainment, why not fix it.

 

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