A friend of mine left me so confused

[Redoptics]

I'm kind of bamboozled over this, a childhood friend cut his hair because he felt he was being discriminated at work and not getting a promotion for wearing a phaag. 

He would be 42 and this left me a bit confused,  does this really happen these days with all the wokeness going around or just a mid life crisis.  

[kcmidlands]

8 hours ago, Redoptics said:

I'm kind of bamboozled over this, a childhood friend cut his hair because he felt he was being discriminated at work and not getting a promotion for wearing a phaag. 

He would be 42 and this left me a bit confused,  does this really happen these days with all the wokeness going around or just a mid life crisis.  

I've seen this happen in family and friends circles a lot over the years, for me the worst part are the excuses, it show's how weak that person's character is, if you don't want to keep you hair or tie a dastaar just be honest about it with others and more importantly yourself, all this "Can't get a job" "I feel discriminated" nonsense, every time someone comes to me with this i gently tell them i grew up in the 80's and i used to get beaten up a fair amount just for having a "topknot", it never once entered my mind that i should cut my hair to make my life easier.

 

[Redoptics]

I understand youngsters doing it, but a grown <banned word filter activated> man, nah mate.

[californiasardar1]

18 hours ago, Redoptics said:

I'm kind of bamboozled over this, a childhood friend cut his hair because he felt he was being discriminated at work and not getting a promotion for wearing a phaag. 

He would be 42 and this left me a bit confused,  does this really happen these days with all the wokeness going around or just a mid life crisis.  

 

What does "wokeness" have to do with any of this?

Sikhs with kesh are discriminated against by "mona Sikhs" whose social media accounts are filled with photos of them holding their hands together at Harmandar Sahib etc. What can they expect from non-Sikhs?

[kcmidlands]

5 hours ago, Redoptics said:

I understand youngsters doing it, but a grown <banned word filter activated> man, nah mate.

Yeah, it is a bit strange, getting to your 40's and deciding to cut your kesh, seems more like an early onset mid-life crisis to me, everyone I've known that has done it has usually been in their teen's or early twenties.

I remember when my cousin cut his hair, he was in his mid teens, he came round our house with his mum and dad (my pua and phuffar), he acted like he had achieved something by doing it, my Gran (his Nani) soon slapped the smile off his face(not physically though), he was pretty much crying by the time he left to go home.

[MisterrSingh]

6 hours ago, californiasardar1 said:

What does "wokeness" have to do with any of this?

Sikhs with kesh are discriminated against by "mona Sikhs" whose social media accounts are filled with photos of them holding their hands together at Harmandar Sahib etc. What can they expect from non-Sikhs?

Have you seen those pictures of a female having her hand held as her picture's taken from behind by her boyfriend / husband? Are people doing that at Harmandir Sahib?

 

[proudkaur21]

3 hours ago, kcmidlands said:

Yeah, it is a bit strange, getting to your 40's and deciding to cut your kesh, seems more like an early onset mid-life crisis to me, everyone I've known that has done it has usually been in their teen's or early twenties.

I remember when my cousin cut his hair, he was in his mid teens, he came round our house with his mum and dad (my pua and phuffar), he acted like he had achieved something by doing it, my Gran (his Nani) soon slapped the smile off his face(not physically though), he was pretty much crying by the time he left to go home.

I've noticed Sikh men cutting their hair and then acting like they achieved something big? Why Is that? Like what's there to be proud of?

[californiasardar1]

13 hours ago, proudkaur21 said:

I've noticed Sikh men cutting their hair and then acting like they achieved something big? Why Is that? Like what's there to be proud of?

 

What is the incentive for a Sikh man to keep his kesh these days?

 

- Discrimination in most (if not all) aspects of day-to-day existence

- Extreme difficulty getting married

- You spend your entire life maintaining your identity, only to watch your children and grandchildren discard their kesh

- Even in the one area of existence where keeping kesh should be viewed as a positive (in the Sikh community), you have to deal with monay constantly going on about how keeping your kesh does not mean you are a good person and therefore keeping kesh is not important blah blah blah. In fact, being mona might make you a BETTER Sikh because at least you are not a hypocrite like those people with long beards blah blah blah. And then you see monay becoming CM of Punjab, being labelled shaheeds and panthic heroes etc.

- Also, if you are a mona, you have the flexibility of growing some stubble and throwing a pagh on your head whenever you want. And when you don't feel like it, you can shave off your stubble and get rid of your pagh. Isn't that flexibility great!

 

 

So if:

1) keeping your kesh is a liability in all non-religious aspects of daily life

and

2) keeping your kesh has no utility in religious life (and maybe it is even a liability these days)

then why would anyone want to do it?

[GurjantGnostic]

18 hours ago, californiasardar1 said:

 

What is the incentive for a Sikh man to keep his kesh these days?

 

- Discrimination in most (if not all) aspects of day-to-day existence

- Extreme difficulty getting married

- You spend your entire life maintaining your identity, only to watch your children and grandchildren discard their kesh

- Even in the one area of existence where keeping kesh should be viewed as a positive (in the Sikh community), you have to deal with monay constantly going on about how keeping your kesh does not mean you are a good person and therefore keeping kesh is not important blah blah blah. In fact, being mona might make you a BETTER Sikh because at least you are not a hypocrite like those people with long beards blah blah blah. And then you see monay becoming CM of Punjab, being labelled shaheeds and panthic heroes etc.

- Also, if you are a mona, you have the flexibility of growing some stubble and throwing a pagh on your head whenever you want. And when you don't feel like it, you can shave off your stubble and get rid of your pagh. Isn't that flexibility great!

 

 

So if:

1) keeping your kesh is a liability in all non-religious aspects of daily life

and

2) keeping your kesh has no utility in religious life (and maybe it is even a liability these days)

then why would anyone want to do it?

To be a Bibeki and to be Keshdhari, and enjoy all benefits that entails metaphysically. Any price is worth paying to keep Saroop or earn Saroop and keep it. 

[Not2Cool2Argue]

On 3/16/2022 at 6:47 AM, californiasardar1 said:

 

What is the incentive for a Sikh man to keep his kesh these days?

 

- Discrimination in most (if not all) aspects of day-to-day existence

- Extreme difficulty getting married

- You spend your entire life maintaining your identity, only to watch your children and grandchildren discard their kesh

- Even in the one area of existence where keeping kesh should be viewed as a positive (in the Sikh community), you have to deal with monay constantly going on about how keeping your kesh does not mean you are a good person and therefore keeping kesh is not important blah blah blah. In fact, being mona might make you a BETTER Sikh because at least you are not a hypocrite like those people with long beards blah blah blah. And then you see monay becoming CM of Punjab, being labelled shaheeds and panthic heroes etc.

- Also, if you are a mona, you have the flexibility of growing some stubble and throwing a pagh on your head whenever you want. And when you don't feel like it, you can shave off your stubble and get rid of your pagh. Isn't that flexibility great!

 

 

So if:

1) keeping your kesh is a liability in all non-religious aspects of daily life

and

2) keeping your kesh has no utility in religious life (and maybe it is even a liability these days)

then why would anyone want to do it?

In your answer, u only mentioned what people think i.e. coworkers/boss or other Sikhs. But for Sikhs, it's most important what the Guru says. 

Yes what you mention is important. At least Sikhs should respect Sikhs. But a Sikh quickly has a downfall if he/she forgets to keep focus on guru and sikhi. Other people will always try to belittle those who try to be better or try to be good. Even the Gurus own brothers tried to hurt them. Also you can tell.the moneh, I keep my hair cuz the Guru says to. Not to be a good or better human. And my hair shows I put sikhi first esp before fashion unlike you guys.