I just browsed shaadi.com for the first time in years

[dallysingh101]

1 hour ago, californiasardar1 said:

 

That's great for that Singh.

Sometimes it comes down to having the right connections or being in the right social circle or being in the right place at the right time.

You can be as confident or whatever as you want. When you literally NEVER randomly run into Sikh women in real life, it won't make a difference.

 

What would happen if you did randomly run into one? 

 

1 hour ago, californiasardar1 said:

I exercise regularly and am fairly fit, but I don't have the body type that people (women) like. I have a small frame and struggle to put on muscle mass.

 

No, I don't have a "physical job."

Maybe that is where I fall short: I'm not like the SikhSangat blue-collar tough guys

It's not about being 'tough guys'. If you understood the world around you, you wouldn't be talking like this.  

[Jai Tegang!]

1 hour ago, californiasardar1 said:

 

I exercise regularly and am fairly fit, but I don't have the body type that people (women) like. I have a small frame and struggle to put on muscle mass.

 

No, I don't have a "physical job."

Maybe that is where I fall short: I'm not like the SikhSangat blue-collar tough guys

If local is difficult, what's preventing you from marrying a girl from Punjab? 

[proactive]

2 hours ago, californiasardar1 said:

 

I exercise regularly and am fairly fit, but I don't have the body type that people (women) like. I have a small frame and struggle to put on muscle mass.

 

No, I don't have a "physical job."

Maybe that is where I fall short: I'm not like the SikhSangat blue-collar tough guys

It's not just the physical, it's how you carry yourself and what your self confidence is like. To be honest, your posts about not getting a wife does show that you lack self confidence and if that is true then your body language will show a woman exactly how confident you are and you will already have lost even before you speak to her. If you want to gain confidence I would suggest you think about taking up boxing. It gives you a lot of confidence and the gait of a boxer appeals to many women. Even if it doesn't and the woman still  rejects you then you could follow her and beat up the guy she rejected you for!! 

[californiasardar1]

28 minutes ago, proactive said:

It's not just the physical, it's how you carry yourself and what your self confidence is like. To be honest, your posts about not getting a wife does show that you lack self confidence and if that is true then your body language will show a woman exactly how confident you are and you will already have lost even before you speak to her. If you want to gain confidence I would suggest you think about taking up boxing. It gives you a lot of confidence and the gait of a boxer appeals to many women. Even if it doesn't and the woman still  rejects you then you could follow her and beat up the guy she rejected you for!! 

 

I appreciate the suggestions, but I highly doubt that "confidence" impacts the rejection rate of an online dating profile. I also doubt that "confidence" or "body language" matters to the nonexistent population of women who never encounter me. You guys seem to think that there are women all around me who I encounter on a daily basis who are just dying to meet a guy like me, but I do something to put them off. How can I put off people I never encounter? How many Sikh women do you think are even within a one-mile radius of me on a given day? Or even a given month? Or year? Not everybody lives in Southall.

Your suggestion for boxing sounds great in general. But personally, I'm done looking. There is nothing in it for me.

[californiasardar1]

1 hour ago, dallysingh101 said:

What would happen if you did randomly run into one? 

 

It's not about being 'tough guys'. If you understood the world around you, you wouldn't be talking like this.  

 

I don't know what would happen if I ran into one. Most likely nothing since I don't care at this point.

 

[californiasardar1]

1 hour ago, Jai Tegang! said:

If local is difficult, what's preventing you from marrying a girl from Punjab? 

Let's pretend I was still interested in getting married. There are lots of horror stories about marriages involving an NRI and Punjabi.  I am sure you know of them, so I won't rehash them here.

[proactive]

1 minute ago, californiasardar1 said:

Let's pretend I was still interested in getting married. There are lots of horror stories about marriages involving an NRI and Punjabi.  I am sure you know of them, so I won't rehash them here.

You do know that the horror stories are what get the tongues wagging and hence the perception that these horror stories are the norm. 

[californiasardar1]

1 minute ago, proactive said:

You do know that the horror stories are what get the tongues wagging and hence the perception that these horror stories are the norm. 

Okay.

[GurjantGnostic]

4 hours ago, californiasardar1 said:

 

I exercise regularly and am fairly fit, but I don't have the body type that people (women) like. I have a small frame and struggle to put on muscle mass.

 

No, I don't have a "physical job."

Maybe that is where I fall short: I'm not like the SikhSangat blue-collar tough guys

Different women like different body types. Lithe is better for health and Shastar. 

Lead some activities at the Gurudwara. Think of an activity or passtime you enjoy and be the ring leader for the Sangat to participate in that. Like rock climbing, or an academic discipline, etc. 

What's something that would be fun for you, fun for the Sangat, and put you in a visible small group leadership role while you look for Rishte?

 

 

[GurjantGnostic]

1 hour ago, californiasardar1 said:

Okay.

Definitely worth being careful.