I just browsed shaadi.com for the first time in years

[dallysingh101]

1 minute ago, californiasardar1 said:

 

Being in shape alone can't put you in the top 10%.

It can help maybe in the context of obtaining short-term flings, but not marriage. Looks are not enough, women also want financial stability (preferably a lot more than stability).

Being a slob with money can also attract the wrong type of women. They might come to you for the money, but they'll go to someone else for the 'honey'. lol

[californiasardar1]

Just now, dallysingh101 said:

Being a slob with money can also attract the wrong type of women. They might come to you for the money, but they'll go to someone else for the 'honey'. lol

 

Yeah, that's why the term "6-6-6" was coined.

I will leave it to you to figure out what each "6" stands for.

[dallysingh101]

17 minutes ago, californiasardar1 said:

 

Being in shape alone can't put you in the top 10%.

It can help maybe in the context of obtaining short-term flings, but not marriage. Looks are not enough, women also want financial stability (preferably a lot more than stability).

Looks do change lives though. Remember this guy:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeremy_Meeks

[BhForce]

On 3/28/2022 at 3:59 AM, GurjantGnostic said:

Within the Rehitdhari Paanth maybe, but crazy selfish people breed like rabbits out of wedlock. 

Well, there are a few things the "Rehitdharis" could learn from "monas":

1) be physically strong

2) breed.

Of course, old Sikhs did both of these things. The current crop of weakling Sikhs who do nothing but listen to Kirtan don't. Because they're too "smart" for that.

[ipledgeblue]

16 hours ago, BhForce said:

Well, there are a few things the "Rehitdharis" could learn from "monas":

1) be physically strong

2) breed.

Of course, old Sikhs did both of these things. The current crop of weakling Sikhs who do nothing but listen to Kirtan don't. Because they're too "smart" for that.

you mean breed after getting married right? and you are saying all monas are strong, there are all kind of monas...

[BhForce]

On 3/30/2022 at 5:13 PM, ipledgeblue said:

you mean breed after getting married right?

Obviously. But I've actually had conversations with Amritdharis who think having a lot of children is maya. If that's what you think, you might as well not get married!

On 3/30/2022 at 5:13 PM, ipledgeblue said:

and you are saying all monas are strong, there are all kind of monas...

Granted, this is just a general impression, but from what I've seen the average mona is built. And far to many Amritdharis are puny weaklings.

[ipledgeblue]

1 hour ago, BhForce said:

Obviously. But I've actually had conversations with Amritdharis who think having a lot of children is maya. If that's what you think, you might as well not get married!

Granted, this is just a general impression, but from what I've seen the average mona is built. And far to many Amritdharis are puny weaklings.

Singhs used to have bare children and even had 2 or more wives, how do they expect the panth to progress when talking about kids as maya only?

 

Also too many amrit dharis do kintoo prantoo about what is correct to eat and what not, whereas Nihang Singhs have a diet which allows oneself to be built.

The question is, how many Singhs are under control of sgpc and deras and jathas and sects and cults and babas, as opposed to those who follow proper rehit and aren't limited by these mindsets.

[GurjantGnostic]

1 minute ago, ipledgeblue said:

Singhs used to have bare children and even had 2 or more wives, how do they expect the panth to progress when talking about kids as maya only?

 

Also too many amrit dharis do kintoo prantoo about what is correct to eat and what not, whereas Nihang Singhs have a diet which allows oneself to be built.

The question is, how many Singhs are under control of sgpc and deras and jathas and sects and cults and babas, as opposed to those who follow proper rehit and aren't limited by these mindsets.

Amen bro. Attachment to children is attachment, when they come before Akal Purakh. Doesn't matter how many you have. We should definitely be having 5. And change the whole Paanth around supporting that. 

[SinghPunjabSingh]

On 3/26/2022 at 5:17 PM, californiasardar1 said:

That's great for that Singh.

Sometimes it comes down to having the right connections or being in the right social circle or being in the right place at the right time.

You can be as confident or whatever as you want. When you literally NEVER randomly run into Sikh women in real life, it won't make a difference.

Bro you make your own luck in life. I understand that with you living in a trailer park in Modoc County it's hard for you to ever go to the Gurdwara but try to expand your horizons. Go to the Gurdwareh in the the Central valley as often as you can and try to run into more of the 100,000 plus strong Sikh population in Cali. Try not to pre-define women as non-Sikh just because they visit a beautician every now and then. If you don't like the Cali girls make a few trips to Vancouver and Seattle. If you don't like girls from the West Coast then keep an open mind for those from Toronto and NY/NJ. And if Diaspora born girls aren't to your liking then consider making six monthly journeys to Punjab. 

On 3/26/2022 at 5:14 PM, californiasardar1 said:

I exercise regularly and am fairly fit, but I don't have the body type that people (women) like. I have a small frame and struggle to put on muscle mass.

Believe in yourself as a human being and a Sikh. The Gurkha's might be small and they might struggle to put on muscle mass but one of them can easily pump lead into 20 taller Pathans on the battlefield. Make the best of what God has blessed you with. Two eyes, two arms and two legs are better than many others in a worse position in life. Be thankful for what you have, don't judge women too much and you will be fine and you will get married this year I (Bichola Singh) guarantee it!

On 3/26/2022 at 7:06 PM, Jai Tegang! said:

If local is difficult, what's preventing you from marrying a girl from Punjab? 

This!

On 3/26/2022 at 7:30 PM, proactive said:

It's not just the physical, it's how you carry yourself and what your self confidence is like. To be honest, your posts about not getting a wife does show that you lack self confidence and if that is true then your body language will show a woman exactly how confident you are and you will already have lost even before you speak to her. If you want to gain confidence I would suggest you think about taking up boxing. It gives you a lot of confidence and the gait of a boxer appeals to many women. Even if it doesn't and the woman still  rejects you then you could follow her and beat up the guy she rejected you for!! 

This!

On 3/26/2022 at 8:05 PM, californiasardar1 said:

I appreciate the suggestions, but I highly doubt that "confidence" impacts the rejection rate of an online dating profile. I also doubt that "confidence" or "body language" matters to the nonexistent population of women who never encounter me. You guys seem to think that there are women all around me who I encounter on a daily basis who are just dying to meet a guy like me, but I do something to put them off. How can I put off people I never encounter? How many Sikh women do you think are even within a one-mile radius of me on a given day? Or even a given month? Or year? Not everybody lives in Southall.

Your suggestion for boxing sounds great in general. But personally, I'm done looking. There is nothing in it for me.

Most guys will get rejected on online dating. Does that mean you cannot find one wife out of millions of fish in the sea. In the States there are plenty of Gujarati women too who have married Sikhs via Anand Karaj and are proud to be raising their children as Sikhs armed with the knowledge that one of the Panj Piare (Bhai Mokham Singh Ji) was Gujarati. Don't give up on life and don't give up on believing in yourself. You are an intelligent guy. Kudos that you did not cut your kes just to find a wife and I will DM you with options in Cali provided you commit yourself to helping others in your same situation in the future once you are married. 

On 3/26/2022 at 8:08 PM, californiasardar1 said:

I don't know what would happen if I ran into one. Most likely nothing since I don't care at this point.

That is setting one self up for self-prophesised failure brother. Snap out of this self-pity please. Even all the people who have been enraged by your posts recently care about you as a brother.

On 3/26/2022 at 8:10 PM, californiasardar1 said:

Let's pretend I was still interested in getting married. There are lots of horror stories about marriages involving an NRI and Punjabi.  I am sure you know of them, so I won't rehash them here.

Don't believe the hype! And so what if you luck out with a gold-digger due to a lack of due diligence then even that experience (what doesn't kill you makes you stronger) will only strengthen your mindset further in life overall in the bigger picture but that's a 5-10% worst case possibility at most and at least you would have tried. Don't just focus on external beauty but try to look at inner characteristics a bit more if you can.

On 3/29/2022 at 6:30 PM, californiasardar1 said:

Looks are not enough, women also want financial stability (preferably a lot more than stability).

Who cares if a few gold-diggers need you to own a ranch in Orange County!? Look for what you want and care about and try and find that instead.

On 3/30/2022 at 8:24 AM, BhForce said:

Well, there are a few things the "Rehitdharis" could learn from "monas":

1) be physically strong

2) breed.

Of course, old Sikhs did both of these things. The current crop of weakling Sikhs who do nothing but listen to Kirtan don't. 

These are dangerous stereotypes about Amritdhari's which I strongly disgree with. Whilst that may be true in the circles you mix with but I can assure there are plenty of physically strong "Rehitdhari's" with children unless you are specifically referring to those circles where being unmarried is somehow regarded as "cool" because their God-in-human-flesh-Baba did that! But yes all Sikhs need to be tyaar bar tyaar physically and psychologically if our Qaum is to reach a greater percentage of its inherent and unlimited potential.

[dallysingh101]

9 hours ago, SinghPunjabSingh said:

Most guys will get rejected on online dating. Does that mean you cannot find one wife out of millions of fish in the sea. In the States there are plenty of Gujarati women too who have married Sikhs via Anand Karaj and are proud to be raising their children as Sikhs armed with the knowledge that one of the Panj Piare (Bhai Mokham Singh Ji) was Gujarati. Don't give up on life and don't give up on believing in yourself. You are an intelligent guy. Kudos that you did not cut your kes just to find a wife and I will DM you with options in Cali provided you commit yourself to helping others in your same situation in the future once you are married. 

I agree with most of what you said above, but I think that Gujarat was in Panjab (now in pak).

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gujrat,_Pakistan

That's not to say that other panj piaray weren't from outside of Panjab though.