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Have I been an ungrateful person towards my organization and my boss ? feeling guilty


Guest Prahlaad Singh
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Guest Prahlaad Singh


Waheguru ji ka Khalsa Waheguru ji ki fateh

So I stay in India, and have been working in this organization as a software engineer for around more than 7 years now. The org is somewhat small , with around 150 people I think at most.

It has felt really comfortable working with these guys. They're decently nice guys, atleast the boss I interacted with the most (he's director and cofounder of the org).

I remember this job was a miracle from waheguru ji. I got it when I needed it the most.
And a miracle had happened at that time. HR manager had kind of rejected me in the final round as he had better candidates, then this director guy had for some reason taken compassion on me and agreed to give me this job. The director instructed the HR manager to extend the offer letter to me, much to the HR manager's dislike. That was his favor on me.

I was deployed on client site as a fresher. I couldn't impress the manager there and she ended up firing me back to my company in 2 months. 
Now the director could have fired me from the company itself for failing to make it on the client site, and this has actually happened with few.
But he chose to extend his compassion again for god-knows-what reason and gave me another on-hold project to me which again was a nice learning experience. The client manager was dissatisfied with me here too, but for some reason tolerated me as I was a naive fresher.

He helped me get out of a client who wanted to absorb me and wouldn't release me. 
This organization didn't fire single employee during covid times. And even gave everyone hike. I got a generous hike since last 2 years. They even gave me money for extra project I did.

Now fast forward to July 2022, for some reason client side manager asks 3 of us to leave (not for performance reasons at all). 
My friend scrambled quickly and got a job for himself. 
I did a bit late and got offers but by that time client had released some purchase order to my company. And director didn't want to release me quick without me serving notice period.
I was a bit uneasy because at the other org I said I would be joining in a month.
I ended up calling the director too many times, and a few missteps that ended up him pissed off at my anxious behavior. I kind of fell out of favor from him, but still he was trying for my sake to reduce my notice period. 
I was still anxious , and kept on following him desperately "humbly requesting" him all the time over mails. He said he had given commitment to the client. I could sense his desperation too but the child in me wanted what it wanted.
I don't know what was the final straw but he ended up giving me an exit by end of this month (september 2022) . 

I got what I wanted , but at what cost ?

Was I an ungrateful person for not supporting my director when he needed me the most?
Have I been an akirtghan ? Have I sown bad karmas for my future ?
I do feel guilty a lot, and even thinking of paying him back via cash for 2 months salary, but I don't know if I did him a bigger loss than my 2 months salary.
 

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Are you Turban wearing Sikh? If you are then you represent all Sikhs out there. Wearing turban you represent the whole community. Even in this kalyug it is dog eat dog world but still being in saroop of Sikhi, It is a very big responsibility and we have to tread very carefully out there. 

Whatever happened, let it be begone. Continue to keep in touch with your old boss. Give him some good gift as an appreciation for helping you starting your career. 

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