Losing Faith

[kaursk]

Im new to this forum so firstly sat sri akal, Ijust wanted toknow if anyone had experienced what I am feeling. As a child Iwas bought up in a good Sikh family with loving parents who taught me about Sikhi and encouraged me tolearn Punjabi and learn Bani fro myself. The last ten years of my life have been in turmoil My father died eleven years ago and after seriously rejecting religion for about five years I allowed myself to believe again and once again fely close to God. in 2003 my mother died and Since then I habve been unable to go to a gurudwara and every time i hear kirtan it feels like my heart is gonna burst. My mother died due to clinical negligence by a consultant who diagnosed her with tb when she had cancer she was ill for year and i cared for her but it broke myheart. I am married and my husband is religious but I cant make sense of anything any more. I am very unhappy and am seeking answers or advice please help

[smartsingh24]

First off i'd like to say It sounds like your parents were good people, good sikhs, and tried hard to bring you into sikhi. From the sound of it, they're in a better place, and they'd probably want you to continue down the path of sikhi. It's always arduous, especially after losing someone so close and dear to you. I think that the first pauree of rehras will help you out a little bit.

salok ma 1 ||

Shalok, First Mehl:

dhukh dhaaroo sukh rog bhaeiaa jaa sukh thaam n hoee ||

Suffering is the medicine, and pleasure the disease, because where there is pleasure, there is no desire for God.

thoo(n) karathaa karanaa mai naahee jaa ho karee n hoee ||1||

You are the Creator Lord; I can do nothing. Even if I try, nothing happens. ||1||

balihaaree kudharath vasiaa ||

I am a sacrifice to Your almighty creative power which is pervading everywhere.

thaeraa a(n)th n jaaee lakhiaa ||1|| rehaao ||

Your limits cannot be known. ||1||Pause||

jaath mehi joth joth mehi jaathaa akal kalaa bharapoor rehiaa ||

Your Light is in Your creatures, and Your creatures are in Your Light; Your almighty power is pervading everywhere.

thoo(n) sachaa saahib sifath suaaliho jin keethee so paar paeiaa ||

You are the True Lord and Master; Your Praise is so beautiful. One who sings it, is carried across.

kahu naanak karathae keeaa baathaa jo kishh karanaa s kar rehiaa ||2||

Nanak speaks the stories of the Creator Lord; whatever He is to do, He does. ||2||

[Mahavir]

http://www.gurmatstudies.com/kathact/oct2003.htm

This link will take you to the gurmatstudies.com website. Click on 1.Parminder Singh and hear his speech on "Reconciling the Existance of God and human suffering".

Remember in Japji sahib "Sanjog vijog doi kaar chlavey, lekhey avaey bhag"..........." Unions and seperations he has created both, we get our share of both according to what he has written".

Yes, only you can understand your pain. May Vaheguru give you comfort.

[Guest Lohgarh Singh]

wjkk wjkf

hanji penji, i have felt and sumtimes even now i feel what your feeling. once i even put a scissor to my dhamalla (didnt do anything though, no cutting or anything :nihungsmile: ), i lost faith because i almost got battered at my school and i got scared, and i thought what kind of a singh am i? that i cant defend myself? (those who can remember a post of mine a while ago can recall how affected i was) try to go gurudwara in a nice and quite part of it, and just relax. let go of every worry and concern, and relax. stretch your arms and legs out and think of nothing. u might find it even more relaxing if you do naamsimran. hope ive helped, if u want to tlk to me u can add me to your messenger or pm me.

wjkk wjkf

[samosasingh]

Faith unfortunatly is not in our hands. My suggestion is to lay out your concerns in an ardaas from the heart, and surley you will find the answers. It is not such a bad thing losing faith, because it allows you to evaluate if you really had it before, or was it just something that fit "good" at the time. That is why only the faithfull can survive, because they rely on there faith not on circumstance to get them through. Whether it be thick or thin the faith gets deeper and deeper.

My dad is also very sick and has been so for many years and we do care for him at home. He became sick when I was only 22, I had to quite school find a job and run the house etc, etc with no real education and bills pilling up. But faith was the only thing that got me through. Learning about other Gurmukhs and there life experience motivated me to do more naam banee which eventually lead me to the Guru.

The Guru is the giver of faith, the Sikhs do ardaas to get the faith.There is no other way, regardless of what people are saying. Always go to the source for at the source you will find abundance to tap into.

Who is the Guru:Guru Granth Sahib. Just let that Ego inside go for a moment and you will see. You seem to be upset and mad for what has happened.Everything happens for a reason.

Hope this helps.You need none other than true Guru. Regardless of whether you have faith or not in him, go to him and ask, we will surely bless you as he did me!!!!

[Jaspaul Singh]

Waheguroo ...

I dont know what to say bhainji.. u have left me speachless... and what can i say, since i cant relate as much...

... for those who know me know for personal reasons i have also been very depressed with living in the last few weeks.... it has been very hard....

... All i can relate jio is that i have many friends... and most of my friends have either loss their father... mother... or even both ... or either they are seperate because of divorce... and as a friend (and not going through this myself) is very hard to give them advice. My dad tells me all the time... (mostly whenever i get into fights or arguments with him) that you are very lucky to have both your parents alive and working for you. As the days go on, the more i realize this.. how true they were...

What else can i say bhainji...just that your khalsa brothers/sisters are here for you and above all waheguroo ji is here for you. Whenever i am feeeling down, i really feel like killing someone, or going to the gym and just taking out my anger there, or go play hockey or something.... for those who know me know exactly what i mean... but most of the time when i need to calm down and get everything together i usually turn to guru sahib.... i talk to him one and one...

... i talk to him ... not as someone i dont know .. but as a friend ... as if he is always there for me... as if im talkin to my best friend. Whenever i talk to him like this he always shows me a way out.... either its through bani or if someone appears in front of me ...

.... bani and simran is soo wicked... i find that if i listen to kirtan i feel soo relaxed. Sometimes when i wanna cry i listen to the slowest kirtan out there with soo much bharaag... and when i wanna get soo into it i listen to my fav bhai manpreet singh ... it reli gets me into it ...

... bhainji .. plz stay in chardi kala, and remember that guru ji is always wit us. Just remember that guru ji also loved your dad and mom, so they have just went home. If guru ji is within all of us.. your parents are within you too .. they will always be with you ..

... i hope you the best. Keep posting on SS :umm:

bhul chuk maph!

[Pheena]

Im new to this forum so firstly sat sri akal, Ijust wanted toknow if anyone had experienced what I am feeling.  As a child Iwas bought up in a good Sikh family with loving parents who taught me about Sikhi and encouraged me tolearn Punjabi and learn Bani fro myself.  The last ten years of my life have been in turmoil My father died eleven years ago and after seriously rejecting religion for about five years I allowed myself to believe again and once again fely close to God.  in 2003 my mother died and Since then I habve been unable to go to a gurudwara and every time i hear kirtan it feels like my heart is gonna burst.  My mother died due to clinical negligence by a consultant who diagnosed her with tb when she had cancer she was ill for year and i cared for her but it broke myheart.  I am married and my husband is religious but I cant make sense of anything any more.  I am very unhappy and am seeking answers or advice please help

then you should let it burst . Don't hold back, let all of your emotions out in the presence of Shabad Guru. Speak your mind, literally, speak out , say whatever your Heart wants to say. Be Vocal if you wish in your pain when sharing it God/Guru. You will find great deal of weight lifted from your shoulders. Let it be a Personal communication between you and God. Share with him your personal feelings. You will find many questions answered.

Sometimes we find oursellves in a postion where nothing but darkness surrounds and we become hopeless. Never does he stop listening to his children. Have Faith that he is still with you and remain forever. I have an Aunt who saw her Family literally shatter one by one, one of her sister committed suicide by setting herself on fire. Her brother comitted suicide, her Mother Died. She still held on to her Guru. Death is the reminder in our lives that we tend to ignore and think we are here to live on this world forever. We all will Die one day, it is bound to happen. If not Today then Tomorrow. The time presented to us is utmost importent. Seek the Sangat where his praise is sung and find that which Death cannot touch within this body.

Freeda, Kitthe Tainde Maapeyaan, Jini Tu Janeyohe.

Tain Paason Oye Lad Gaye, Tu Ajai Na Pateeneyohe.

(Fareed, where are your mother and father, who gave birth to you? They have left you, but even so, you are not convinced that you shall also have to go. || 73 || ) (Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji, page 1381).

Page 188

Gauree, Fifth Meh

Whose mother is this? Whose father is this?

They are relatives in name only- they are all false. ||1||

Why are you screaming and shouting, you fool?

By good destiny and the Lord`s Order, you have come into the world. ||1||Pause||

There is the one dust, the one light,

the one praanic wind. Why are you crying? For whom do you cry? ||2||

People weep and cry out, "Mine, mine!"

This soul is not perishable. ||3||

Says Nanak, the Guru has opened my shutters;

I am liberated, and my doubts have been dispelled. ||4||43||112||

You are my mother, father, son and relative; You are the Support of the breath of life.

You and all of us are that Soul that is not Perishable, So Who Dies?? .....We need to Realize and undestand this not only thru words but thru experiences. This body was created from the earth and there it shall go back, but We shall Remain. Relations are created in every birth we have taken. We had Mothers in our past live, We had Fathers in our past lives, and we cried when they left their bodies, and in this birth we cry again. It helps to look at the big picture of many birth as oppose to only this birth and the Difficulties we find ourselves facing.

It does not mean we should love them less, it is the Emotional Attachment of Mine, My...that we create in every birth which brings this pain. Everyone experiences the loss of thier Parents, it is inevitable, we all will have to face this situation. What i have said is not only directed towards you but it towards all of us including myself. I pray that i am strong enough at that moment to realize and remember the Truth of our existence. Waheguru...

Nothing in this world is Permanent, everything is in Flux. If the 'Happy' days did not remain neither will the 'UnHappy' days. If your Daylight became Dark, know that this night will again turn to daylight.

Forgive me if i had said something which offended you. I did not intend it as such. I do not pretend to know your pain, as i can only imagine what you have gone thru in your life.

May Allah bless you with the Strenght to grow from this hardship. May he bestow his his infinite Love and Wisdom upon you. :umm:

[Jaspaul Singh]

Pheena ji ...

What a powerful response... THANK YOU soo much for sharing that with us... I don tknow if it effected bhainji but it did have a great impact on me ... :umm:

[Pheena]

I have found this quote to have Great Impact in my life towards teh Relationship between myself and my Beloved Divine Mother. Perhaps you can take some comfort from this as well.

" HE AND ONLY HE IS THE TRUE LORD. HE IS TRUTH -- SATNAM.

HE IS AND ALWAYS WILL BE. THOUGH ALL VANISH HIS REALITY WILL NEVER LEAVE.

HE CREATED MAYA -- THINGS OF VARIOUS COLORS AND EMOTIONS AND DISPOSITIONS.

HE CREATES ALL THINGS AND WATCHING OVER THEM, HE ALSO GIVES THEM GREATNESS.

What a wonderful thing Nanak has said. He says God makes the creation, and having made it, He looks at it, just as a painter paints a picture, then steps back a little to view his work. He observes it closely, he steps to the right and looks, steps to the left and looks again. Then he views it from a distance, then he takes it up to the window to scrutinize it in the light and in shadow. He examines it in a thousand ways, as does a sculptor.

HE CREATES ALL THINGS AND WATCHING OVER THEM, HE ALSO GIVES THEM GREATNESS.

Thus He gives prominence and importance to His creation. So God is not against samsara or else why should He create it? Nor is he maya's enemy, or why should He bother with it? So the difficulty encountered by logic had no ground with the devotee.

Nanak says not only does He create but He admires His creation and looks at it exultantly, thus giving it honor and importance. Remember, God has created you and having created you he has examined you from all sides, and He is still looking at you constantly as a part of His own handiwork, giving you dignity and importance; and on its own all sin will fade away from your life. If you remember this you will move about as a creation of His. You will speak and hear, fully conscious of the fact that you are His creation. In all your dealings you will be conscious of the fact that you are His and He is looking after you all the time. He watches over you constantly. He provides you with comfort and care. He looks at you lovingly, again and again. He never tires of looking at you. He is pleased with you for it is He who has made you. He is neither disappointed nor disheartened by your ways or else He could destroy you so easily. No matter how bad and sinful you become, His flame of hope for you never burns out. No matter how far you wander away from Him, no matter how completely you forget Him and turn your back on Him, His loving gaze is still fixed on you. For He knows that if not today, tomorrow you are sure to return. Sooner or later the prodigal must return, his coming back is certain, for the further you go away from Him the more unhappy you will become, like a little child who has run away from home.

A little child, barely four years old, ran away from home. He took a small bundle of clothes and set out. A policeman found him going back and forth along the side of the road a number of times. He approached him, thinking he needed help, and asked,

"Where do you want to go? Where have you come from?"

The child said, "I have run away from home but Mother always said not to cross the

road, but to stay on this side. Now I don't know what to do, since I can't cross over."

How far can a small child stray? Even if he does, Mommy has always set a limit and

how can he disobey her?

How far will you wander from God? Even if you are angry with Him for some reason, you will keep shuttling between home and the road crossing. How far can you go and where will you go? Wherever you roam it is within His boundaries. Wherever you are will be within Him. Your anger is the anger of a little child; it is nothing but a part of love. He is never displeased by your displeasure.

Nanak says: He gives you importance and glorified you. What He has created He surveys, and He likes what He surveys. "

[moorakh mugadh]

Im new to this forum so firstly sat sri akal, Ijust wanted toknow if anyone had experienced what I am feeling. As a child Iwas bought up in a good Sikh family with loving parents who taught me about Sikhi and encouraged me tolearn Punjabi and learn Bani fro myself. The last ten years of my life have been in turmoil My father died eleven years ago and after seriously rejecting religion for about five years I allowed myself to believe again and once again fely close to God. in 2003 my mother died and Since then I habve been unable to go to a gurudwara and every time i hear kirtan it feels like my heart is gonna burst. My mother died due to clinical negligence by a consultant who diagnosed her with tb when she had cancer she was ill for year and i cared for her but it broke myheart. I am married and my husband is religious but I cant make sense of anything any more. I am very unhappy and am seeking answers or advice please help

I cant make sense of anything any more.  I am very unhappy and am seeking answers or advice please help

wjkk wjkf!!!!!!!!!!!!!

bhenjee if u couldnt had made sence u would have not come here :umm: u make sence first belive this, u love gurusahib, u love sikhi thats why u came here belive in ur self bhnejeo ,all is ok u just need sangat in gurughar and sangat rocks in forums like these too :cool: sometime i also get confused but my guru granth sahib is beant he helps me take care my sis belive in ur self ur good