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Guest kaam

Dear gursikhs,

ive always had a problem with controlling kaam. recently, ive started to do amritvela simran and do all punj bania (sometimes more)...but every few weeks i have strong attacks of kaam that i cant put down and i feel relly bad deep within, so i go and do some more naam jap and i feel a little better, though my guilt doesnt go away.

i even try to read shabads against kaam once a week or so...still i get these periodic attks of kaam and i can never control them...anyone have advice?

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Mkhalsas fighting Kaam Guide

Fighting Kaam

In this kaljug it is important that we, as gursikhs, stay away from Kaam. Kaam is the foremost of the vikaars--Kaam, Krodh, Lobh, Moh, Ahankar. I thought I would make a post on this subject as this is a vikaar which effects all of us, especially the youth. I know it is a touchy subject, but we need to talk about it in order to know how to fight it. The usual answer we get when we ask about it is do more naam simran and read more bani and you will be fine. It isn't a very detailed nor helpful instruction. So, here are a few things we can do to fight kaam in our everyday lives. Please add to this list with your experiences, thoughts, and knowledge. Thinking about kaam logically makes it seem stupid and pointless.

Think about who or what you are attracted to. In today's day and age many of us are attracted to stars or people at school etc. Usually this means goray, monay, non-sikhs, etc. Think about everything they do, from eating poor defenseless animals in cold blooded murder, to sleeping around. Many girls pluck, wax, shave, and do all sorts of things to themselves to make themselves "beautiful." Personally, and logically, I find this ugly, unnatural, and disgusting. If you just think about that much, you will want to puke!

Think about the blood they drink daily while eating meat. Think about how many boyfriends or girlfriends this person has probably slept with, diseases they could have contracted. Think about them drinking, doing drugs, partying and dirtying themselves. Think about kaam in such a way that it disgusts you, ie kissing that person who does such things, exchanging saliva, etc. All of these things together, rationally thought out, may cause your kaam to subside quite a bit in disgust, or at least turn you off.

Think about Guru Sahib and all the wonderful things gursikhs have done and died for in the past. Guru Sahib is watching you and so are shaheed Singhs. They know what you are thinking, what you are doing. Would you sit in front of Guru Sahib with sangat, look him in the eye and think or do such things? Think of the sakhi where gursikhs rescued the most beautiful hindu princess, but not a single one of them gave her a second glance. Naam Ras and the pleasure of naam is indescribable when compared to the lowly so-called pleasures of kaam.

Do naam simran constantly. If you are doing naam simran with every breath or as much as you can, you will feel disgusted at having kaami thoughts.

What will kaam get you? If you look at someone with kaam or think about them in a kaami way, what will you get from that? A second of some pleasure? Maybe a minute? Oh wow, you are looking at a girl/boy, big deal, aren't you special. Guru Sahib says Nimukh kam suadh karan kot dhinus dhukh paveh: For a moment of s.exual pleasure u will suffer in pain for millions of days.

The subject of this kaam is someones sister/brother. What if some pervert was sitting there watching your sister/brother? How would you feel if that person was becoming kaami looking at your mother/sister/daughter/father/brother/son? Guess what, sitting there thinking about them, YOU are that pervert. They are your mother/sister/daughter/father/brother/son, thats what Sikhi says, and its kind of gross.

Wear bana. Wearing bana around the house and outside will cause one to feel ashamed when they have kaami thoughts. You will think, "look at yourself, becoming a Singh/Kaur and walking around in bana and thinking such disgusting thoughts!" But remember wearing bana all the time can bring haumai. Think about it, your a pretty disgusting perverted person and you are nothing but a keeri. Haumai solved by having kaam and being disgusted with it.

Anytime you get a Kaami thought or urge, read Shabad Kaam Maran Deh. This worked for me especially well awhile ago. I found all the shabads I could on sikhitothemax.com about Kaam and read them anytime I had even the slightest thought or urge. You can read them by clicking here. Remember to read the meanings, as these shabads are beneficial to us. You can read the meanings by clicking here.

Think about this: In Bhai Rama Singh Jee's description of hell he says that Kaami people are being boiled alive by jamdhoots (demons).

Nothing will happen without Guru Sahib's kirpa. When you do ardas daily, add "Kaam, Krodh, Lobh, Moh, Ahankar, Jhoot, Ninda Tho Kirpa Karkae Bachavo." Ask this with a humble heart and with pyaar and love. Guru Sahib will surely guide you.

Remember, when fighting one vikaar, the others will make it as hard as possible for you. Kaam and Krodh are very closely tied. Remember to control your anger and don't take it out on others. Do more bani and naam simran and try to stay calm inside and out.

http://www.mkhalsa.com/lit/fightingkaam.html

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last week i was listening n watching bhai pinderpal singh ji's katha on tv...he said that one major way to kick off kaam is to kick ur mind with vairaag...a simple way to do this is : whenever ur mind is hit with kaam, think of sarhind, the land where the chhote sahibzaade gave up their lives but didn't shake...tell ur mind "u fool, u are shaking? look at Gurujee's sons! who never shook!"...in course of time ur mind will be hit by vairaag, and once that happens, kaam krodh wont get near u.

my half cent

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This is perhaps the most difficult of the 5 afflictions to win over - the others being krodh, moh,, hankar and maya. Great men have fallen prey to it.

The very fact that you are fighting it way you describe is examplry and a lesson for us all.

As Guru Nanak ji says in jupji: MUN JEETAI JUG JEET.

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kam is not a big problem.if you think kaam is big then you have issues with your thoughts.Haankar is the biggest problem in us.

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Dear gursikhs,

ive always had a problem with controlling kaam. recently, ive started to do amritvela simran and do all punj bania (sometimes more)...but every few weeks i have strong attacks of kaam that i cant put down and i feel relly bad deep within, so i go and do some more naam jap and i feel a little better, though my guilt doesnt go away.

i even try to read shabads against kaam once a week or so...still i get these periodic attks of kaam and i can never control them...anyone have advice?

I don't know about killing it, but it should definetly be controlled. Were human its natural.

kam is not a big problem.if you think kaam is big then you have issues with your thoughts.Haankar is the biggest problem in us.

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I strongly agree with the above statement, Hankaar certainly is a bigger problem.

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On the day I became a Sikh, I told my self what I had to do and I made a decision, and since then I have not had a problem with Kaam. It was hard for the first month or 2 but then I had found that state of mind i was looking for. I think Kaam is useless and pointless, and the Sikhs are much too high for it. Lets just think about it what men are attracted to, FLESH. It is FLESH of a woman that the man looks for his whole life. just flesh, no different than a monkeys flesh. It is so sad that a man spends so much time of his life fantasizing about he flesh of a woman. Many people say that Kaam is part of human nature. I dont think it is nature, but society. You think cave men we attracted to a womens breasts?, no. Even the men in africa are not attracted to a women breasts because they are never covered.

By the way I dont think we should bring meat eating into this, I think somone posted that we should see people that we are attracted to as the murdering meat eaters. Remember Guru Nanak Dev Ji once confronted the Bhramins because they always use to think they were better then everyone else becasue they didn't eat meat. :T:

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