SS Akal,
I am really confused about something and felt that I should talk to other people who might have been in the same position, or might know someone with the same type of issue.
Lately, I've been thinking a lot about Sikhism and where I fit in. My family goes to the Gurdwara every Sunday and I love it. Now I've also started to volunteer there and help teach the Punjabi class.
I've been living in Canada for six-seven years (I'm fourteen years old now), and before that I lived in India. I'd never cut my hair then. No one in my family had, actually, until my brother started going to school (still in India.)
He used to take out his joora everyday and finally my Chachaji said that we should just cut his hair because in Canada it would just get harder to keep, especially since he took it out all the time. Plus, he knew that when my brother got older he might want to cut his hair, and then it would just be harder for my parents (especially my dad) at that time. So my brother got his hair cut. It's always been cut since then.Then we came to Canada. My parents and I did not cut our hair. We continued going to the Gurudwara all the time and I started to do kirtan. I loved it.
I never had any desire to cut my hair, but one day I had to because someone in school stuck chewing gum in it. I cried and cried as it was being cut. By the time we were finished, it was just below my shoulders.
Since then, I've had to cut my hair several times, just so it looks even and proper. My mom also cut her hair. She cuts it regularly. My dad still keeps his turban and beard.
About two years ago, I started to feel that I shouldn't cut my hair. I've kept it long since then, but I also have to remove hair from my arms and legs. I've never considered that this would matter, until now.
Now I'm starting to think, "It would be so much more convenient if I just cut my hair. I already have to cut some of it, so why do I keep it on my head? If I want to keep my hair, I have to keep ALL of it." Keeping all of it just isn't possible for me right now.
I've been feeling a lot closer to Sikhism lately, so I feel bad that I want to cut my hair. But I already cut some of it (though not on my head), so why do I not feel bad about that? It doesn't make any sense to me at all. Am I a bad Sikh for doing that? Every Sikh that I know (excluding Amritdharis) do that... but I feel really, really bad. I follow the rest of the rules, but just this... It's bothering me so much. I just need to know if I'm a bad Sikh or not... I've checked a lot of things and so far I've heard many different opinions. One that I kind of felt that I sided with was that there isn't really anything wrong with cutting my hair since I'm not Amritdhari. Since I am Sahajdhari, I can still be a good Sikh and cut my hair... since I'm not obliged to keep the 5 K's.
None of this is making any sense at all right now. I'm really confused and I just think I need some clarification. I know this was a long post and I'm incredibly grateful to anyone who bothers to read it and reply. Any information at all would be greatly appreciated. I feel really bad, but at the same time a little part of me is saying that I shouldn't feel bad about this. Thanks in advance! <br><br></font>
