As i've grown older ive begun to ask more and more questions about Sikhism, but i've never found a logical reason to my answers, nor have i done research to find them. Im reaching a point in my life where im questioning whether Sikhism is the right path.
My understanding of Sikhi was that the ultimate achievent of prayer and meditation was to receive Darshan, a state where Waheguru Ji will reveal himself and duality and doubt will be removed. This lead me to beleive that there are a rare, select few in this world who have attained this status through their devotion, and as a result they should exist at this high level of spirituality. The very existance of such a person was why i followed sikhi and felt it was the right path, however after years of beleiving I am starting to realise such person does not exist, and as a result my previously held beleifs are wrong.
After this i felt terrible and did research on the internet, and me fears had not been removed. I searched for saintly people on the internet and found some examples which contradicted my beleif and i hope these can be cleared up so i can carry on living without doubt in my faith.
1) Prof Darshan Singh Ji: This was the most worrying story i have read. Prof Darshan Singh Ji was a former Jathidar (sp?) of the Akal Takht, considered to be the highest seat of power in Sikhi, if any man had received the blessing of having seen Waheguru Ji it was this man. If Waheguru Ji exists and this man had witnessed god, then surely there should be no doubts or flaws in what he says. The Jathidar of the Akal Takht should surely be the authority on the relegion and speak on the behalf of god, however he was "excommunicated" by other Saitly people who also have supposedly been blessed by the gift of Darshan.
The big contradiction here has nothing to do with what was preached, but has more to do with the fact that saintly people, who have suposedly all witnessed god are disagreeing on which quite possibly is not fundamentle to our religion...
2) Jarnail Singh Bhindranwale Ji: Throughout the ages terrible evnts have occured within the holy temple however each time divine intervention had helped the Sikhs, with one exception; the brutal, unfortunate and unforgivable acts of operation blue star. There is much controvosy surrounding this terrible event. Personally i find it worrying that Bhindrawale was fighting for Khalistan, does our religion not transcend the need for land, or indapendance in the form of a sikh state?
Not only this but no Jathidar has to my knowledge commented on Bhindrawale's actions, these, supposedly, saintly people who should be preaching the word of god dont have answers to this controvertial issue
I would like to say im not a good sikh, I dont pray as often as a should and my understanding of sikh histroy is probably innacurate, however if i am to accept that Skhi works, i need to find an example, but looking at the current leading figues of my religion has not yeilded such an example.
I appologise if any of my words upset or offend many people, there are many positives to Sikhi, and i dont doubt its the best religion, my doubts lie with the entire concept of religion itself, i am confident that these doubts can be removed but only with your help. Thank you