Bertie Bassett

Hi Humkire, Thank you for your advice. I will most definately post for a teacher and further help once I return to the USA. I am currently working in the Middle East but should be back in a few months. Unfortunately, I do not know yet which part I will be in as I travel quite a lot. Something I hope to change. In terms of the proposal, I have read that there are traditions. These are most likely more cultural than spiritual but in any case I would still like some pointers. I have heard of parents providing gifts to each other ($101 for example) not as a payment but as a token of agreement to the proposal. One thing I was thinking of was reading, in Punjabi, a particularly romantic peom or appropriate prayer. Something that shows I am paying attention to the elements she values most in life (family, love, children, the future, spirituality, etc). She is indeed westernised but still a traditional girl at heart. I appreciate an out-of-faith marriage is not exactly traditions, nor is dating, but that kind of happened by accident in any case (a very long story for this thread). Any pointers are extremely gratefully appreciates !

Thank you Bloom for your insight. I take no offence to your comments and welcome your input. May I just confirm that we are simply getting to know each other - there is no adultry taking place. This is something that is important to both of us and an area best left until after marriage. This is common in many beliefs, Christianity included. As I posted in my first message there are many parallels which makes understanding and relating more personal to Sikhism. I appreciate your initial thoughts as "dating" can be taken to mean many things in today's society. I very much respect a belief that certain areas of a relationship are best left until after marriage. Please do not confuse my interpretation of dating with that of many others. Dating to me is the process of understanding if two individuals connect on a spiritual and mental level as well as ensuring that future goals in life are the same (i.e. career, children, place to live).

Hi All, First let me tell you that I was raised Christian in the UK. Being a Christian is more of a defacto stanard rather than as a personal choice for me. I have been dating a Sikh girl for a while now (she is also British) and am at that point where I want marry her. I know that being Sikh is important to her and the issue of marrying a non-Sikh is starting to come up. I have read the pro's and con's of this on the various websites and understand the route of many con's is that of raising children and living a life in alignment to our spiritual beliefs and culture. I can see this is a problem for many people. Faith is the core of what forms us and different beliefs can conflict at times. For my part I have been researching Sikhism and see it has many comminalities with my personal beliefs. I do not see leading a Sikh life as being a compromise nor a problem for me. I am happy to raise a family within the Sikh faith and follow the many cultural aspects associated with it. Whilst I am in the very early stages of learning about Sikhism and also having a limited Punjabi vocabulary, I am finding the more I read the more I am interested in following this way of life. I will continue to learn about Sikhism. Not just because it is something important to the girl I want to marry but because it is a life choice I beleive is right for me. I wanted to open up this thread to see if anyone could pass on constructive advice. Have you gone through the same transition. Did you marry a non-Sikh. Can you tell me the best way to learn more (Sikhism and Punjabi). Please dont simply state "You were not born Sikh so you shouldn't marry her". I have seen this statement so many times. I dont beleive that the religion of your country should define you as a person. I am widely travelled and have experienced many cultures and beliefs. Yes, I was not born a Sikh but that shouldn't make me a bad life partner or father. And finally, when I do propose I would like to include in this some traditional elements. I want to show I am learning and embracing the culture. Whilst I am certain she will love a big fat Diamond ring I cant help but wonder if there are other, more traditional, gifts or symbols I could use (in addition to the ring). Thank you for your advice and help.