Wjkk Wjkf I am in my late 20s struggling with kaam a lot. I do a bit of paath as well and want to take amrit but waiting for things like career to be sorted first. Especially as i am writting this as today i missed my nitnem i feel weaker than before. I have struggling with it since i have been 15 and its getting to the point where i have spent money on webcams,chatlines (my fav girl has been offline for a while) and watching porn. I am now having strong urges to vist a escort as i am still a virgin.
I spent and waste time looking online for one and pics. I am ashmed as i act a gursikh infront everyone but i have this hidden part of me. I know this is wrong but i just want to flush out of my system as i have many health problems like sinus,migraines,headaces etc. I get very turned on seeing any blonde female and that makes it worse for me my kaam thoughts .
Everytime i shoot off or do something like that you know i feel really really bad that i go the gurdwara asap that i take a packet of sugar and £1.25 do chaur sahib over maharaj than i fall in the same narak again and again.
I mean i would like to get married to a gursikh and take amrit but this unfufilled desire is something i need help with.
Please help me anyone reading this as i am really ashmed to talk or even metion this to anyone !!!!