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Showing results for tags 'illness'.
Before this time i was doing simran, listening shabads n paat, like feeling wanting to get close with Sikhi and even thou i was not healthy got to a stage being able to cope with gods hukam. Now last two months had lost my faith, not matter how hard trying to console myself its not comin back. So i thought ok maybe depression, but i am very weak physically so put it down to that too not being able to do much. So not wanting to do paat, when put it on like can't stand it, like its too much pressure for me. And when am trying to do bits, my brain is not accepting it. Again i am thinkin its weakness. Going for tests but i dont know why i cannot stop thinkin the worst. It won't stop. Anyways my faith has fully gone n said god leave it to you, as am trying and nothin happening. Then all of sudden last night i felt it coming back k bit, so i started doin as much paat i could manage, like i am freaking out i won't get the chance again. And then last night my body went thru so much hell, not being able to sleep, everytime i tried to say Waheguru like not being able to and not relaxin. So went bathroom tried again and again to get to sleep. But my body was hurting more n more. Husband says its coz my system is messed up and i use the phne before i sleep that's why. Hope its that and nothin else. But before i went to bed, took video of my room in the dark with flash on. Thinkin to myself if its anything paranormal, will catch it, although should not be doing this. But in past used to hear footsteps and like being attacked physically. Nothin happen at first then the view goes completely black and freaked me out. But thought its the metering of the phne, still think that as played it back again, and seems to happen when i was zoom in but only when i zoomed at the window there is little mirror there, not when i zoomed nywhere else. Then a light was peepin thru one blind, me thinkin its a street light or reflection. But now i looked outside no lights near the window. Ok so now i gone paranoid i am possessed or somethin after me thinkin this is why i am so ill now. I went thru this in all the houses i lived. And we are doing paat again more its happening more. But only i feel it nobody else. Have i gone mad? I can't be as i can't physically move, and then go unconscious due to weakness. I am not going to think about it as no energy but anybody any idea Wats going on? Is it my health or somethin else? Waheguru.