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Guest posted a topic in GUPT | ANONYMOUSI know sikhi isn’t a top, which I can take off and put it back on later. I don’t mean to offend anybody! I took Amrit on my 14th birthday and tbh life before that was amazing. (Btw I am 17 now) I loved the attention off girls and family members, friends etc telling me that me and my older brother are very good looking. (I was a mona and all my family apart from my grandmother are patits) After taking Amrit, obviously I looked different. It was hard to suddenly stop getting all that attention. I read a post on here that was pretty much basically like my life, how my family isn’t amritdhari and that person used to get loads of comments too. I’m a strong amritdhari, and I still do my baniya now. But I just miss that attention. I have been to the gurdwara and many of the girls there say that I have nice eyes etc but tbh I want more. I feel like I’m ugly. When I look in the mirror I just don’t feel the same. I don’t like the way I look, I don’t like the sort of bushy eyebrows. Every time I get a comment in school or I here off my friends that a girl thinks I’m attractive or everytime I speak to a girl it makes me want to cut my hair. i feel like I’m too young, and later on in life I want to go back into sikhi. Honestly I know that life won’t be amazing when I have cut my hair. But I feel like after I have experienced something I have been craving for years, it will make my sikhi stronger. I don’t want this thought in my head for the rest of my life that life could have been way more exciting and better when I was younger. I’ve come here for advice. And I am ready to hear it. Harsh or not. i am still amritdhari and I have not committed a bajjar kurheit