Questioner

Every one of us needs to make our own ethical decisions rather than going with the status quo. This includes not wearing clothes which are made from animals, not using products experimented on animals, and so on. Don't assume that all Sikhs are ignorant to this and just go along wearing or eating what they like.

Yes, simran is exceptionally important and I know it will carry me through. But my question still stands. Is there anyone here who has knowledge of Chandi Di Vaar??

Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Vaheguru Ji Ki Fateh,

I feel I need a great amount of mental and spiritual strength to develop and get through the days, where I face many challenges. I'm turning to Chandi Di Vaar, having heard that this bani will provide me with that strong mentality.

However, reading the translations, I do not understand it. I do not understand its meaning; I am trying to relate the battle to that of the mind and the panj chor, but I do not know if this is at all correct.

Can somebody please explain to me?

Can I read Chandi Di Vaar without understanding it? It feels like pakhand if I do.

Vaheguru jee,

We all say Ardaas every day. However, when said in sangat I never know what to say in the personal part. Especially as my Punjabi isn't great, by myself I say what I want of course but in sangat it seems people have a set thing to say (eg. please keep us in good sangat, help us with Amrit vela, etc). I know some Gutke Sahibs include this within them.

Where can I read one of these so I get a better idea of what to say?

Think you guys are missing the point of the question. Being born into a Sikh family does not make you a Sikh; many born under the label may call themselves atheists or adopt views that fly in the face of Sikhi. Still, when it comes to the Anand Karaj - which many non-Sikhs or unbelievers may choose to take part in for traditional reasons or to appease family - no Sikh protests or bats an eyelid. I think this is just as anti-Gurmat as those weddings which some have crashed.

I have many family members who do not care for Sikhi, yet of course they all had an Anand Karaj - just as they visit the Gurdwara, for social or cultural reasons. Isn't that messed up? No? Because they were "born into Sikhi," their beliefs and behaviours are not a problem?

Also, OP, no - women get more stick for marrying outside of religion than men do. This is how men exert power over women.

Disclaimer: before anyone decides to jump down my throat, I do not even agree with non Gursikhs (Sikhs actually on the path) having Anand Karaj. Just hate the double standards.

Frankly, I think you are a poor human being.

Let me explain.

In the beginning you said you had pre - marital relations, I'm assuming you had sex. And it was ok with you. Now you have met a wonderful partner, everything is perfect except she is not a virgin and it bothers you. How about her? Does she feel comfortable that you are not pure either? And then you have the audacity to justify your breathtaking hypocrisy with 'that's me'.

This is what I wanted to say. But you know that it's hypocritical; the problem here is not that you can't see that. It's that you need to let go of an unreasonable expectation/ desire. Ultimately, such desires are simply a reflection of your own ego/ pride. Need to gradually become more detached from that ego (through naam simran, seva, continuous contemplation) and your perception of the situation will begin to change. Ultimately you will love her unconditionally for the being that she is; a love that is not dependent on something she did or did not do in the past.

Don't let yourself sabotage something good. Your ego does that to you. Unless, of course, you will be one of those males who will latch on to this for the rest of your lives. In which case, let her go - she doesn't deserve that.

Thanks but not for android, for the laptop?

Somebody come to my aid pleaaaase

Gurfateh sangat ji,

I'm a bit of a newbie at this,

How can I download Sikhi To the Max so that I can search and use the powerpoints for kirtans etc?

I've tried downloading it from here http://www.sikhitothemax.com/updates.htm but it doesn't work. Says 404 - File or directory not found.

ALSO - if I can't download that, is there a similar system I can download?

Thank you

Brother,

Love is not dependent on prior conditions, or on selfish personal preferences and desires.

Yes. A loving parent wants to do the best for their child, to a Gursikh the best is guiding them to Guru's sharan.

Let me tell you a little secret about Sikhi. People crack jokes on us that we are not smart. Fact is, unless you don't tell your mind to shut up, you can't be a Sikh. As long as you listen to your mind "man I won't get girls", "man how will I get a job!", you will continue to complain. The day you thrash your mind to shut up, and tell it "look, enough now! just shut up because I am not listening to you any more, I am going to be on the outside what I am on the inside", that is the day you will make it. Trust me, you have to be crazily in love with Dasmesh Pita to even contemplate keeping kesh, let alone keeping Sikhi saroop. The keyword here is "crazy". So ask yourself, "are you crazy enough yet?"

The path of true love is far from easy. One poet calls it as a river of fire in which one has to drown in order to swim across. And what is even more terrifying is that you go into it all alone. The only consolation you have is that the one you truly love is with you at any cost. Other than that, you may very well expect the entire world to turn against you. That is the real test of true love. There is just one road in one direction without any tracks. You give, you surrender, you give up, you offer, you submit, you lay down, and you do all this without expecting anything in return! You dont see your own loss or gain, but just do whatever it takes for the one you love.

A tigress' milk cannot be stored in any random vessel, but only in one made of pure gold. Gold cannot be made pure unless it has passed through fire.

The secret is craziness, the challenge is "how crazy are you?", or rather "how crazily in love are you with Dasmesh Pita that you are desperate to keep His saroop and hold it high with dignity?"

Vah, vah. That is rather beautiful.

Oh man I wish I knew. I know nothing past the previous couple of generations, and neither does anyone else.

I think most of us are like this to an extent. My own self reflection has taught me that such jealousy comes from deep insecurity, whereby one tries to seek validation or happiness from others. In reality, we are completely whole, we are one and the same. A deep understanding of your Self and an understanding of your wholeness, and your essential likeness with everyone around you... that should change things.

There must me somebody who has links to these Singhs. It's usually pretty easy to get in touch, don't know if anyone's making the effort though. This needs a panthic response, it shouldn't be ignored.

I can't see the video, but I'm guessing you're talking about Sikhs slapping up the wandering Hindu ascetic? If not, ignore this post!

I was disgusted when I saw that video. And I mean, so disgusted I couldn't sleep that night. It is painful to see the protectors become the oppressors.

Since when is it part of our dharam to hurt another unless in self defense or defense of the weak? They were beating up a holy man, part of a long standing tradition which Sikhs may not agree with but should respect. I saw beating and heard shouting, not the sweet words, humility and pyar that a Gursikh should have.

I honestly feel disgusted that Singhs would do this on the basis of what they find to be appropriate or inappropriate clothing. Is this beating-people-up thing becoming a trend in India? Gone are the days when the Singhs would protect the weak and offer love to all that's how it feels.

I really do hope that somebody contacts these, and any others doing this, and explains things to them to prevent them or others doing this again in the name of Sikhi.

My grandmother has moved in with us and my room is currently being done where she will sleep. In the meantime she keeps her gutke in the living room, where people eat meat right next to them. She's sat on them, put them on the sofa, table... been trying to do tell her how to treat them for ages, but out of stubbornness she ignores me, not liking being told what to do. My mother also wouldn't let me take them away for fear of upsetting here.

Finally, been able to come to an arrangements whereby I take them away and bring them to her when she needs them. But I just found one fallen on floor between a sofa and chair, it must have been there for days. I feel so so so terrible, like awful. Like I need to beg for forgiveness. WHAT DO I DO?

It's driving me crazy having to police this. On top of that, we keep getting wedding cards with gurbani in them which are just left around as well..

What do I do when I find gurbani being disrespected? Paath? How do I ask for forgiveness?

Poor lady, so sad.

Ya'll crazy! All that simran some of you do, I feel like a bit of a fail now.

The lesson to be learned is one of compassion, empathy, and trust. What good does it do to dwell on someone's past? The most beautiful thing about a human being is their potential, and if you shackle them to their past, you are limiting their potential. Your bad feelings about her past are understandable, but meaningless. Your bad feelings will put a heavy burden on her soul. Every time she tries to develop as a human being, the weight of your negativity will be holding her down. Every time you have a fight, your negativity will get in the way of forgiveness. Are we not told to live an honest life? She has been honest. Now you have a choice. You can find a way to let go of the past and look towards a future full of love and devotion to waheguru, or you can let her go. You cannot marry a person if you are not honestly forgiving.

Think of it this way - is there anything in your past that you would be ashamed to have committed in front of the Guru? I am positive there is. Wouldn't you be grateful for forgiveness? Wouldn't you deserve it if you sincerely changed and repented? Yes, of course. A sexual sin is a sin like many others. It is not worse than many things we all do in our lives. Just because it makes you uncomfortable doesn't mean it shouldn't be earnestly forgiven.

I suggest you work hard on you meditation and banis. Be open to letting go of negativity. If you can't, don't handcuff this girl to your bad feelings. Break up with her, and let her find someone who is understanding of her past.

Listen to this wise soul!

Lets be fair here. The young lady has gone through what none of us would ever like to go through ourselves! The non sikh practice of honour killings. Can anyone say that they wouldnt have some jaded view of a faith BASED on the knowladge and background. So she married a Muslim. She wasnt/isnt a Sikh. You are not born a Sikh but become a Sikh through your actions and yes a family with strong education can help. Instead of pointing out her faults decide to take action against the crippling castist culture that is excused in our community. Campaign for an end to female abortions, educate yourselves so our children have the knowladge and the tools to become great Sikhs. Leave this lady alone.

Campaign? Educate ourselves? Make a difference? Nah too much effort, we'd rather sit on the internet and complain. :lol2:

I hope this lady doesn't find this thread and read these horribly judgemental posts.

Thanks for the link, his videos seem very interesting

Very interesting!

I have already checked this site out, that's where I got the Gurdwara location from.

I already learned so much as I could from sites like sikhs.org, I read a lot already :D Now I'm beginning to read the English translation of Siri Guru Granth Sahib.

Alright, I will ask this man, I read quite a bit of his blog and he seems like a really good guy

Thanks for all the good words and advices

Well, I think you haven't been in Denmark

1. I'm sorry if I offended somebody with the "hygiene" thing, shaving some places in Europe is viewed as a standard, well - culture differences

2. Sleeping in keski seems way more comfortable than sleeping in a turban Thanks for the information

3. Sure, I understand them, Catholics aren't eating red meat in many periods of time, in saint days and every Friday. Fish are more humble in my opinion and they are quite non-smart animals which don't feel much but the comparison with drugs quite shocked me.

By the origin I meant that in different places people eat different food, for example it would be impossible to be a vegetarian in Greenland where are no plants at all and native people only ate whales.

What I try to ask with these points is how serious are Sikh people treating these rules? How many are like you said "orthodox" Sikhs? I was raised in Christian society where people don't really treat the Christian rules seriously.

No not offended at all, these cultural norms are prevalent here too!

With regards to meat, I think most Sikhs would say that even eating fish is not OK- it's regarding as a sentient being, intelligent or not, and taking its life for your stomach isn't considered okay.

Well by orthodox Sikhs, I meant those who are actually following Sikhism to the T, and that usually infers amritdhari (baptised) Sikhs. They are the Sikhs of the Khalsa who follow of this strictly. However, outside of that, there are people who may not practice or may practice only aspects. I'm sure it's the same with all religious communities!

orthodox sikh ?? ae kitho a gye??? sikh is sikh in Guru's way of life... that's what I think and what I have read so far.. correct me if i m wrong?

Well, if I were to simply say "Sikhs do this" then I'd probably be

a) criticised for making a sweeping statement by those Sikhs who do cut their hair, or

b) questioned as to why so many Sikhs then cut their hair.

Can't really win no matter what you say yo.