Questioner

Kalki Avatar is the last avatar of Vishnu to come @ the near of Kalyug. then Again new Chaunkari of Yug starts-Satyug......Treta......Dwapar and and then again Kalyug. everything would be repeated again.

@ that level...there is no Hindu/Muslim/SIkh/or other Religions. Only We have made religions here

So Sikhs do believe in it? Can you give me a reference to Gurbani?

What is the Kalki avatar all about?!

I know nothing about this. Online, a Hindu was questioning me on Sikhi, inferring that it stems from Hinduism because of shared beliefs; one of them being the Kalki thing. What is that?!

Actually, there is no use in complaining. I have felt so down about this for a while. But, how does one get past this? The big play that Sikhi has become for the youth? The only thing I can think is to isolate yourself to avoid being a part of it.

My god! This has been on my mind for the last few months! I can't believe somebody else understands how I feel. Upon realising this reality, I got very disheartened and went away from sangat. I do go now and again but I try not to talk to anyone. The sickly feeling is always in my stomach.

I'm a girl. Wasn't so lucky as to have been born into a kes keeping household. But Maharaj's kirpa I found the path. That kes and dastar which you hate so much is what I fought to keep.

Everyone was against me. There was violence and family disowned me. Even today, people are not cool with it and make snidy comments.

Look at yourself. I find it hard to believe there are people who don't see Guru's blessing... if it were petty, nothing to care about, worth giving up, why would there be a history of Sikhs from the past till this day that fight to keep their hair and dastaara?

Also, sports isn't a problem. Tie a different style.

Do you need to go pesh because you've committed a kurehit or do you just need some advice?

One of my unmarried friends had a knee operation and went to the panj for peshi..they asked why she had come and she told them but they also asked her whether she had had any physical relations..so they do discuss it with bibia and I think that they will realise that it is serious if you've gone out of your way to seek their advice at an amrit sanchaar.

Also, I don't think they're naive enough to think that kaam only affects men..it does seem to affect men to a greater extent but it takes two to tango so I think they know that it isn't just men that struggle. If you really can't go and see them and you haven't committed a kurehit, maybe speak to a knowledgeable bibi that you trust? I think generally though, we need to wake up and be more aware of how kaam affects girls and deal with it early on.

With regards to the original poster, I don't think women only amrit sanchaars will ever be a thing (in the near future anyway). We can't even decide on having one woman in the panj pyaareh, there's no way you'll get 5 bibia to conduct an amrit sanchaar without serious problems.

I have not committed a kurrehit but there are lower levels of kaam that still feel like they leave dark marks on your soul. It's so much easier for a man to go to his panj and talk about this, but for a woman it's virtually impossible. If I had committed a kurrehit, I would go to them, but I don't feel right talking about the other issues of kaam to them. Speaking to an elder Gursikh about what you've done would feel very wrong, let a lone speaking to five men.

"I think generally though, we need to wake up and be more aware of how kaam affects girls and deal with it early on."

And I agree with this. It's something that has never ever been spoken about amongst women, Gursikh women, as a problem. But we all know it is. It's just such a taboo to talk about, so women don't get advice or help.

Wow, it's so strange, I was brooding over this last night and this is the first time I've seen someone talk about this. I was upset because I can't go to the panj in regards to issues of kaam. They're all men, and most men (especially Sikh) would assume that kaam is only a male problem. I just can't do it.

Every person going through a blue period of a few weeks or a couple of months starts bleating about how depressed they are. So when someone who really IS depressed comes along then people's reactions are "Oh he or she is only depressed. It'll pass". It's these people, some who desire attention, that play the depression card are the ones who damage the perception of the problems regarding depression for those who have been in that situation for 2, 5, or close to 10 years.

Exactly, and the thing is, it's the vast majority of people that do that. It's a shame, that those who are really suffering with depression are made to feel weak, and there's such a stigma attached to something that people don't really understand. It's hell to not be in control of your emotions, depression is far from regular sadness and crying for a few days.

Depression is underestimated because people see it as a common feeling of sadness. It's not. It's a chemical imbalance in the brain. Therefore it's really NOT easy to get out of.

Imagine feeling an intense emotional pain throughout your day, and for some reason, nothing you do lessens it and you don't understand why. Imagine feeling that way every single day. People ignorantly say things like "You can get yourself out of it be stronger" but they don't understand it's not a case of simply overcoming a regular sad state.

I need help with my Punjabi speaking, but I am sceptical to Skype you, Jimmy.

Aw man that was stupid, I just had it in my head that I wanted to help him and I didn't want to leave without having done so. Damn

Well, knowing that 90% of them are simply looking for cash to get their next fix of heroin......I'd have protected myself and card and pin and address etc and walked away. If I was a drugs counsellor I would counsel him......If I were a pusher I would sell him drugs....If I were a junkie I would do drugs with him. But I am none of those things......So I walk away.

Yes, I know you are right in a sense, but it doesn't feel right to walk away from helping someone who MIGHT need help.

Sorry Questioner, but not only are you VERY VERY VERY gullible but also NOT NOT NOT street-wise at all.

I think you should count yourself lucky. Seems to me you were that close to inviting a robber, burglar or much worse into your flat. Things could've turned out a lot worse than losing £20. Let it be a lesson to you.

I wouldn't have invited him to my flat, lol. I just asked because I wanted to know if he was homeless.

What would you have done?

I was at a cash machine outside Tesco, when a guy came over and shook my hand. Apologising, he said he was cold and had no money, and wondered if I could help. I had forgotten my pin number, so I said I had to go back to my flat and then come back. He said he'd wait.

10 minutes later I came back, but he wasn't around. I went into Tesco and bought him something, hoping he'd come back. When I couldn't find him, I asked the security guard if he'd seen where he went. Eventually I just ended up walking back to my flat, saddened and thinking "Waheguru ji, why did you take away my seva?" As I walked, I heard a random shouting noise. It was a busy noisy junction with people walking around. I thought, "It can't be him". I didn't see him, but I waited and looked around some more. There he popped out.

I went over to him, and asked if he had a place to say. He said yes, he's just short of money. I told him he could go to his nearest Sikh temple for food any time. He said he knew. I gave him the food. But he said "I don't like snack bars" and gave them back. I asked if he wanted anything else, but he just asked for money. I eventually found that I had £20 on me which I gave him, and that was it. When he walked off, he met with his friend, who was another guy I'd seen earlier who appeared to be doing the same thing. They talked for a second, the guy probably telling his friend what he'd just got, and then started walking further apart so it looked like they didn't know each other.

After that, I feel duped. Something similar has happened before. I was sitting in town when a guy who had a cast on his arm came over and started begging me for food in a meek voice with a saddened face. I instantly gave him my food. But as soon as he left, his whole person changed. He started loudly shouting to his friend about what he'd got, they both laughed and jeered like typical yobs and he threw the food to him. I later saw them asking from more people, and when the people rejected, they started swearing at them.

I dunno man... I don't think that I do the right thing in these situations, but on the other hand I don't think I'd be able to turn them away either. :s

Er, the thing is, people are insensitive idiots and they don't care whether they hurt an unknown Singhni's feelings as they post about their opinions on something they actually know very little about.

That being said, having had a boyfriend (who YOU didn't leave even when you decided to take Amrit) you can't expect us to see you in a better light than these dumb excuses for Singhs.

Too many! One that always gets to me is:

ham sar deen dayal na tum sar ab patheear kia keejai

There is none as forlorn as I am, and none as compassionate as You. What is the need to test us now?

bachanee thor mor man maanai jan ko pooran deejay

May my mind surrender to Your word. Please bless your humble servant with this perfection.

......

kaaran kavan abol

O Lord, why are You silent?

bahuth janam bishurae thae maadho ehu janam thumaare lekhe

I have been separated from You for so many incarnations; I dedicate this life to You.

I would get a fierce beating for having failed as an Amritdhari Sikh.

I should NOT have watched that...

Fateh ji,

Is there any way that I can get a ready sharpened Siri Sahib of a decent size (eg. 9 inches +)? I've tried sharpening my own but it just didn't work. Heck, it's a struggle to even take my Siri Sahib out. Not really tyar bar tyar.

Can anyone suggest somewhere/ someone from whom I can purchase a sharp one?

Paaji,

I honestly don't think this is something you need to feel worried/ guilty about. Whatever happened before you became a Sikh is over and done with. There are people who were druggies, alcoholics, promiscuous etc before they found Sikhi... indeed, a lot of us who weren't born into religious families have a past of sins. I myself as a moni had a boyfriend, but now I too am an Amritdhari who tries to keep a strict discipline when it comes to even talking to the opposite sex. I look back and feel as though though that was a totally different person. I was totally different. I don't think one should take into account the way life was before somebody found Sikhi. Certainly I'd not judge somebody who's now a Rehatdhari Sikh for their pre-Sikhi history. I'd expect that everybody has a past.

Obviously, do not keep it from your wife. If she asks you, tell her the truth. Just as you'd expect her to tell you the truth about her past.