Depressed

I don't know how to avoid those thoughts as it rings so true in my mind as I know why my thoughts are the way they are. Though your analogies make perfect sense. Accepting myself will probably be the only way I can get rid of all my issues. It is highly unlikely I will be able to do this on my own accord, I think I need Guru Maharaj Ji's help.

I can read the Punjabi scripture, but my vocabulary is very limited in order to understand it. I do know Japji Sahib by heart, but I don't know how to do Ardas and other parts. I don't like myself, how do I give myself to Waheguru?

Thank you very much for your reply and information Veer ji. How do I get back to the source? I am constantly having negative thoughts about myself and I struggle to function in the outside world because I have social anxiety. Even in the Guduwara I am paranoid and anxious. I fear one day it will all get too much and I will do something stupid. So what will happen would I happen to suicide?

I will be the first to admit that my knowledge on Sikhi is very limited. I go through phases where I go to Guduwarda constantly and pray, to doing none of those. I had a thread another anonymous section about my depression.

Anyway I have a question about our soul. Is it developed when we are being born, or are our souls already present with god or in heaven like place which then gets put into a human being that is born. Ie the soul is a seperate being from the human body.

Sorry if this is an odd question that doesn't make sense.

Sat sri akal everyone, sorry for the late reply.

I have been more or less in the same point but I have gone to Guduwara a lot more often in the past 2 weeks. I have gone for the past 2 days and I am aiming to go there everyday. I haven't started waking up as yet, but I will try and do it tomorrow by sleeping really early and waking up early and attempting amrit vela. I only know jup ji sahib by heart, so I will probably listen to a youtube recording of the full nitnem on youtube, is this a good idea?

Fateh veer ji or pen ji

first of all I would like to apologies for my delay in replying,,, suicide is a very sensitive topic and I just didn't want to say anything without thinking I through properly.... suicide thoughts are actually more common than you may think I remember when I was young me and my friend use to talk about suicide, how you could just end everything there, bang, bas everythings gone.

however only thanks to sache paathsha I have realised suicide is the end to nothing, apart from happiness. I remember hearing in the katha once that by committing suicide

1. your automatically into another life cycle

2. your now carryng extra baggage of paap for ending your previous life.

So thinking about it whats really the point? What happens to us today is due to our karam, right? so why make more bad karams by suicide.

Personally in my mind I see suicide as a maze, you get out one door thinking "pheewww i'm gone" but then your trapped in another puzzle. Also a point to think about is we don't know whats going to happen the next second forget about the next day so imagine if we were to die tomorrow but today we committed suicide, what have we done? we've just gone and messed everything up....

so please please PLEASEEE, don't think about suicide the dukh that we have in our karam we have to go through, its like schooling no matter how much we hate it we have to go through it, so why don't we just accept it and allow gods will to flow. Your probably thinking now, 'why is god doing this to me? what can I do to make it all stop?' and the simple answers are, gods doing this because we haven't japp'ed enough naam and only by japp'ing naam this will go away. Its like if you have a black paint brush, no matter what colour is underneath you can use it to hide it....

Also my top tip which I give to everyone (not that i'm worthy of giving tips but still lol ) is THINK POSITIVE! Trust me I cant explain or emphasises enough that just by thinking positive you can make a problem which looks as big as a mountain look like a tiny little pebble.

Remember most of our problems/worries don't even exist outside our brains/minds. You say you have low self esteem, think why? why should you have low self esteem when yours just like all of us? Your the creation of the benevolent waheguru ji and so are we, you have the spark of the divine in you so do we, fir kyu?

Remember waheguru ji isn't angry with you he doesn't hate you he loves you and is just waiting for you to pray and call him, think of him as the fire brigade, he has all the equipment to stop the fire and will even risk everything to save you but he can only do that if you call him to the rescue..... call wahgeuru ji like you would call your mother, when we need our mums we don't just sit there and blankly say "mum " we shout out "muuummmm :') " << it would've been much easier if I could sepak this out - hope you understand what im trying to say lol :D

okay han ji I know what your probably thinking - what do you know? you haven't been through what i have ? i'm not you ?

but hey I know someone who knows exactly what you've been through and is a part of you - WAHEGURU JIIIII

ਹਮਰੀ ਬੇਦਨਿ ਤੂ ਜਾਨਤਾ ਸਾਹਾ ਅਵਰੁ ਕਿਆ ਜਾਨੈ ਕੋਇ ॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥

Hamaree Baedhan Thoo Janatha Saha Avar Kia Janai Koe || Rehao ||

You alone know my inner pain, O King; what can anyone else know? ||Pause||

Waheguru ji has been through whatever you have because he is always within you, talk to him, do simran, make him happy....

I know doing simran sometimes can be very hard , what I do is when im praying for worries I sing a shabad, so what i'll do is find a shabad according to its meaning and my problem so for example imagine if i'm worries about

something about my family I sing this shabad -

ਸਿਮਰਉ ਸਿਮਰਿ ਸਿਮਰਿ ਸੁਖੁ ਪਾਵਉ ॥

Simaro Simar Simar Sukh Paavo ||

Meditate, meditate, meditate in remembrance of Him, and find peace.

ਕਲਿ ਕਲੇਸ ਤਨ ਮਾਹਿ ਮਿਟਾਵਉ ॥

Kal Kalaes Than Maahi Mittaavo ||

Worry and anguish shall be dispelled from your body.

the reason why I do this is that it helps me actually think about what i'm saying and what type of feeling/bhavna to have when talking to waheguru ji, it make it more personal and I feel that waheguru ji is listening to me ....

Your lucky you can read Punjabi, think about all those people who want to read bani but they can't read punjbai and have so many difficulties... also your still young, everyone always says that its much easier to change your life around when your young because to be honest who really knows you, you haven't made your mark on the world yet, you still have the opportunity to change, people see your as a kid, you have that chance to change without all those people bugging you... you can do it

waheguru ji kirpa karan... charna da pyar bakshan....

bhul chuk maaf karni, let us know how you go ... take care and remember chuck the sue outside- no thinking about suicide :D

Thank you so much for your reply, and to all the kind users as well. I apologise for the delayed reply.

I have unfortunately reverted to the bad ways of drinking alcohol every 2nd day or so (2-4 beers) instead of reading gurbani and take on the advice the kind people of Sikh Sangat have provided.

I am a fraud.

Thank you very much for that, it is amazing. I need to read the wisdom of Gurbani.

Waheguru ji ka khalso waheguri ji ki fateh