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Showing results for tags 'mentality'.
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Gurfateh ji, I am in my early 20's and don't get along with my grandma. she really knows how to get under my skin. She's not even like an evil grandma or anything. Just a normal everyday bibi. She is always lingering, nagging to do housework. She's super negative towards my dad and muttering under her breathe. On top of that she is amritdhari without any understanding of gurmat which really annoys me. Wears kakkar but will never teach me punjabi or sit down have gurmat vichaar or want to change mentality. Yet she will end every conversation with "Challo, Vaheguru de hatha vich ee aa" reluctantly after 1 hr of being unsatisfied about her life. I feel guilty for wanting to do things my own way; hermit zone, listen to kirtan and katha and do chores separate (I concentrate better + chores done quicker). I don't want to talk to bibi as I find most content unnecessary. Her whole life is about housework and revolves around that so I be formal and respectful but that's it. I have to force myself to talk for her mental wellbeing so she doesn't feel alone. Then I feel drained personally, feeling spiritually empty/ disconnected cos havn't had enough katha/ kirtan/ vichaar/ sangat to remind of real purpose. Even if we don't talk, it's like she is always sending negativity towards me. (?Idk if going crazy). If someone is an elder I don't automatically respect them. If they have gian, gurmat, positivity then I do truely love and respect them, regardless if blood relationship or not. But if all that has been collected in negativity, hypocrisy then I have no need/ desire to respect bcos i seek more than that. I also lowkey resent that she never passed on knowledge e.g. about punjabi, meanings of gurbani cos she doesn't know. It's just about mundane things like making sabji... which sorry bibi, I know it's your life purpose but for me I know and can make it and that's it. I don't need to talk about daal sabji, housework etc to fill out my day. And then this contaminates my own sikhi cos look at me now... I am unsatisfied and complaining about another human being. It's taking away from my life, where this energy should be focused on Vaheguru. I don't want to end up like my family and put housework etc before sikhi. It's like a mix of hormones, generational differences in thinking, spiritual ego of mine, cultural guiltyness for not respecting elders, and no1 lack of experience in grist jeevan skills. Please help. Some insight to how to establish some sort of common ground? Anyone have similar experiences or am I the only rotten'' child?