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  1. Sikh parents are so toxic toward their children. Why can’t organisations do more to educate parents how to Build proper balanced relationships with their kids?
  2. https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/parenting/what-is-a-toxic-mother-and-how-does-she-affect-relationships/ Link is about abusive relationship you may or may had been in but never knew? There is direct abuse; negligence, rape, hitting kids. Then there is indirect abuse; constant criticism, over involvement, frowning on kids' decisions, constant emotional blackmail until kids' give in to parent's choices, NEVER appreciative of your own kids, constantly going on about other kids and how they are successful, making your kids feel unworthy, telling them "You can't do/ cope." Me and my sister fall into the latter. And MY GOODNESS! How has my sis ended up!? 34, been on super healthy diet since nearly 17 years, hasn't eaten outside food since, no fizzy drinks just water n milk, no oily fried food, no chocolate, candies - basically home cooked vegetables and daal (that too just heated up) with sometimes rice, sometimes Baajri (millet flour), nuts n seeds. Her attitude in general is "I am right, do it my way" and she's a force nobody argues with. She has negative thoughts rather than positive. Her spending idea is "save every single penny, you never know" so absolutely zero make up (ok, fair enough) but then she'll wear same clothes for years n years without getting bored. 5 yrs ago she wore shoes with hole at the bottom! My mother had to buy her new ones outta pitty. Tell me, who's gonna marry a broken n wrecked girl like that?? NOBODY! Mum being mum (poisonous, venomous n toxic) used to force her to get married now she's given up but talks about it. Part of poisonous, venomous, toxic relationship is to ensure you make your kids do what they not want or cannot do. Only on two occasions (how fortunate only two) she wanted me to atleast trim my beard to look neat. With kirpa I never gave in to that. My sister's idea of passing the time; study books on healthy eating, cycle, study Grade 4 or 5 books to keep the brain sharp, maths all in spare time. Anything else is "Waste of her time." Sangat Jio, unless YOU want your kids to be on drugs, not follow society, be unhappy, have negative thoughts to EVERY situation... don't chod it up for them and yourselves.
  3. Fateh, It's that time again where I bang on about how to treat your kids! Why? Me and my sis have been brought up in children / mother toxic relationship. My sis n ma have extreme little communication with one another. When my sis is in trouble she may tell dad but NEVER to Ma. If your kids are aged 5-16 you should show them encouragement and support in wha they're doing. If they did something great express it. If they're wrong or feel like failures encourage them, give em hope. YES u can be strict. YES u can be stern. But if u fail to show support to your kids and make them feel worthless you will regret it! Our Ma made us feel worthless when we were kids. She never showed ANY sign of appreciation nor encouragement. We could win awards, do seva, score high marks was always "That's not good, where is that gonna get u in life? So then what?" And when speaking of other people's kids "That girl is so intelligent! That son is sooo highly educated! WOW so n so won 3rd place in mopping the floor, U watch! He'll be a manager..." am sure u get the idea. ALL OUR LIVES IT'S BEEN LIKE THIS! Degrading and lectures on our failures. Unforgettable moments; 2004 our pet rabbit died one morning. Ma screamed at my sis for not able to contact Rspca and called her a failure (no internet in our home at d time). We were then forced to eat rotia (was lunch time) whilst she stood next to us, shouting. Early 2000, mum purchased A movie through cable n paid once. However, end of movie the movie looped, Ma changed channel n started screaming as we didn't know movie was in a loop... 15 mins of shouting and letting us know our worth, she put it back on the channel but nothing was there. (Movie loops only for about 15 sec before screen saying pay n watch) but she didn't wait. 2016, on 2 occassions she told me to shave my beard as short is nice (basically look good for society than Guru Ji). All other times would be obnoxious behaviour. As for dad? He was never there for me and my sis. So no picnic, no going to the park, no family outing. Only time was when sum pindu's wedding came around then we would get up at 5am morning on a Sunday to go attend. SO AM WARNING YOU! If u want your son to get left behind or daughter to turn out where she only cares for herself, is living 99% like a hermit, extremely quickly gets agitated, overthinks DO NOT be toxic towards your kids. My sis bared so much brunt of Ma's toxicity. She has 0 interest in relations, 0 interest in life only doing Baania keeps her great. Dad was not there so her food n spending habits are not brilliant. She has extreme akar. She did not even attend my wedding in India as her diet would not allow it! (Kachi sabjia that too home made only) a brainwashed health freak, basically. But it's not her fault... PARENTS DID NOT TRY! For more info google mum daughter or even toxic parents should anyone need more info.
  4. I've just recently gotten into Sikhi, and need help dealing with a problem at home. I don't know what to do. My brother recently had his "gf" move into our home. She is not an apne, she is Muslim. She always makes rude remarks towards me, if I tell her to do one simple thing she will over exaggerate everything to my brother who will then yell at me, and sometimes even resort to violence. I barely talk now a days. She also steals my clothes and shoes, because she knows I can't do anything about it. I told my parents about it and they don't care. It just saddens me, and ever since she came I have been really angry and been getting attached to world things. I do my path every single day, and simran. What do I do? She is home 24/7 because no work or school.
  5. By toxic I do not mean verbal, neglect NOR physical. I mean down talking to your kids, criticising them at an early age, ridiculing them, thinking EVERY decisions of your kid's decisions is cheap and just wrong cause it not YOUR way... Growing up in a toxic mum - son and (her daughter) relationship I've seen it! Okay, money was not an issue, we never got abused but we were given the wrong treatment. From an early age my mother believed me and my sister would never achieve anything. My poor elder sister probably bore the brunt of my mother's abuse! Every month. Today my sister is kind of a wreck; never happy, secluded, isolates herself, never laughs nor jokes I BLAME MY MUM I wish to blame our karmas too but hey! IDK what we did in our past lives to live a life of toxic relationship (GOOGE toxic relationship or my mum is always criticising me) to see exactly what am on about. OK Newly mum and dads! AVOID a toxic relationship! If your toddler says something wrong do not just scream n have a go at them! Explain to them wit love what they said is not right, or maybe "I like how you think but you're wrong because..." Not just scream at them "You and your dirty tongue! I'll sort you out!" If they're failing in education sit down with them, work on their weakness and encourage them "You can do it, if you try..." Always encourage never criticise. My sister went her own way aged 16 - never listening to mum, doing her own thing. Unfortunately mum doesn't know why my sis is always in a bad mood (Toxic relationship, mum think they're right n kids are stupid). AND my mum always criticises me n my sis for our decisions made. EVEN THE SMALLEST MOST SIMPLEST DECISION. Or in my case, major decsions too, like I chose to take Amrit but mum thinks it was a certain Sangat am "Following" at the Gurudwara. (Put it this way, toxic relationship she says it in a negative tone). On a few occasions my mum even said to me, starting from 2 years ago, TO TRIM MY BEARD AS I LOOK STUPID IN SOCIETY! Okay so mum is a control freak, always makes decisions and expects me to follow (DO NOT WORRY! I haven't trimmed my beard at all more on that later) - and if I don't follow OR decision goes not in her favour SHE SCREAM N GETS UPSET! NEWLY MUM AND DADS, PLEASE DO NOT DO THIS TO YOUR KIDS! I blame my mum for who I am today, what I become. My dad too but he was not toxic... just not there for me and my sister or even mum. All you'll end up doing is drive your kids away from you. Mum succeeded n driving my sister away from her. But if I question her she won't regret it. She would make me feel bad and say other poisonous venom she can muster. AGAIN! Not my parents fault maybe we were really bad people in our past lives, me and my sister. OK I let my mum bang on about me having an uncut beard but that is fine! I let her go on and not say anything. I don't care how long she goes on - 20 - 30 minutes - I keep my mouth shut then she does not utter a word as well. It does the trick! She forgets about it for a couple of months. My mum has learned poison and venom from he childhood I feel sorry for her. Brought up in poverty, no education (India), no family support (her siblings would beat her a day for no reason), mum would neglect her. So just like she has driven away from her family, my sister has driven away from her too cause of her actions, from beat ups in toddler age, criticism in early age and always having a go at her in her young teen to early adulthood. NEVER explaining to he or me "Look! Am annoyed never do that ok?" Instead it was a bashing up n screams at a rage that lasted 3 hours. When our pet bunny died dad ran to work and that left me, sis and mum... yep. Sister got a bashing of her life when she failed to call RSPCA whilst rabbit was dying. "Huraam zaadi kuthi! Keeri padaai the kithi English/ gal karn wi nhi aundhi phone ti. Kisi kam ti nahi teri padaai" (Hope you get the idea)... Surprised neighbours never rang the police. ON SO MANY OCCASSIONS OUR BLOOD GOT SUCKED THIS IS JUST ONE EXAMPLE. A healthy family would have; first off, dad would not just go to work, second, mum or dad would attempt two things. First, assure the kids in a nice and soft tone that the pets doctor will sort it out. THEN they would attempt to make a call to the RSPCA (we didn't have internet at the time). Dad should have rang 2nd cousin to call the vets to our house... Instead it was left to a 13 year old to sort it out! (My sister) whilst dad runs to work and mum hurls abuse as she thinks this is the right way to deal with kids. Second, the mother hugs the kids whilst the pet is being cremated or whatever, as it preps the kids for future grievance. At this age range we got hard core shouting top of lungs and abuse hurls. My sister no longer lives with the society let alone with parents. DADS! It's YOUR responsibility to listen and respect choices of your wife and kids. Teach, guide and support your kids on Sundays, outings and family picnics. No matter how little time DO spend time with your kids EVERYDAY if possible. MUMS! A benti for you to encourage and motivate your kids in education and show enthusiasm in their decisions. Correct their mistakes the right way and notify how they can do better next time. Make them believe they can achieve goals and dreams. End of the day your kids will look up to you and will have utmost respect for you as parents and great role models.
  6. The powdered spices you buy from the shops are known to be adulterated with toxic, disease causing chemicals. Why take the risk? These are just some common examples: 1. Haldi/Turmeric powder - can contain carcinogenic, organotoxic melanil yellow (azo dye) and lead chromate (paint). 2, Red chilli powder- lead oxide - carcinogenic 3. Cinnamon is adulterated with cassia bark - carcinogenic, hepatotoxic, neurotoxic. Buy whole ceylon cinnamon instead. Solution: It is safer to buy the spices whole and powder them at home. Store bought powders are easily adulterated and cannot be detected with the senses. Also during the processing of the powders, the nutrients and medicinal qualities can be destroyed .e.g with high temperatures. I have recently powdered whole haldi and noticed immediately a difference in colour, smell, taste. At the end of the day, do not take a chance with your health. Is it really worth risking over convenience? http://epicureandigest.com/2014/03/12/seven-adulterated-spices-most-likely-in-your-kitchen-now/ https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Vinita_Katiyar/publication/286453417_Food_Adulteration_The_Demonic_Onslaught_on_Health_and_Wellness/links/566a995108ae1a797e37c896/Food-Adulteration-The-Demonic-Onslaught-on-Health-and-Wellness.pdf
  7. We are taught that breast cancer most commonly occurs in the upper outer quadrant and this is precisely the location closest to which deodorant is applied. This thought came to me many years ago and since then I've looked at the research and delved more closely into the ingredients of underarm cosmetics. You won't be surprised to again find these products full of the same culprits : carcinogens, endocrine disruptors, irritants to name but 3 of their properties. Literally, you can take your pick. Pick up your deodorant and google each ingredient on the label to see what you are putting into your body (skin absorption-->bloodstream/lymph) (You might also like this: https://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2016/07/20/dangerous-deodorant-antiperspirant-ingredients.aspx) The solution is simple: Use lemon/limes: I cut a small slice of lime everyday and squeeze its juice into my palm then apply to my armpits. It works in controlling body odour. Deodorants actually worsen body odour so you have to use more and more and buy more and more to mask it, leading to a vicious cycle, at the cost of your pocket and your health . So just quit it. Address your diet too...avoid poor diets containing processed food/refined sugar/carbs . Eat more raw, organic foods, raw dairy (not pasteurised/homogenised) etc Also In summer/hot climates its good to have a bath/shower twice a day. Hope this information is useful and make you more conscious of the products you are using. Remember always read the label, do your research, and if you don't know..avoid it! (P.s. read my other posts too if you are interested in avoiding other disease promoting products)
  8. Drinking the purest water which is free from toxic chemicals is what we should all be doing, but sadly this isn't the case. People in the West Midlands and other areas have had their water supplies compromised with Fluoride which is an industrial waste byproduct. Fl is a potent neurotoxin,carcinogen, endocrine disruptor. Even in non-fluoridated areas, tap water is laced with toxins like Al, Pb, Cl, Hg, As, pesticides, PCBs, aromatic hydrocarbons, pharmaceuticals etc. So what are the solutions? 1. The best thing to do, if you are able to, is to collect water from a natural spring. e.g. http://www.findaspring.com/ Or dig a well in your garden (the initial cost is outweighed by the low running costs and within 1 year it becomes a lot cheaper than buying mineral water, so it is an investment worth considering). 2. The next best option is to buy mineral water with the lowest TDS and which doesn't contain fluoride. Use this database http://www.wmaf.org.uk/index.php?content=content&parent=41&read=41&keyword= The only downside is that the water is packaged in plastic but this is the only negative -the best one based on the water analysis is Tesco Ashbeck Water. Mineral water packaged in plastic, is much better than tap water and even filtered water which does not remove all toxins and may also leach chemicals from the membranes/materials used. However, pure, unfluoridated mineral water packaged in glass is better, i.e. Waitrose Deeside water, since plastic bottles can leach chemicals into the water. The downside of the glass water is the price and availability, so most people will have to buy the Tesco Ashbeck water which has virtually the same composition/analysis as the Waitrose Deeside water...the only difference being the packaging. So in summary, ideally one would source water from a pure natural spring or from a well- this is the best water to drink. If not, then buy the purest mineral water (using the water analysis database) and if you can afford it prefer glass over plastic bottles. Avoid tap water wherever you live, even for cooking/boiling purposes and avoid drinking filtered tap water. You can also consider getting a filter for your baths/showers to at least reduce some of the chemicals you may otherwise be absorbing through the skin. Hope this helps people.
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