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Fateh sangat ji, I am in a dilemma with myself and my Sikhi. I would like to ask a few questions from knowledgeable people on there, both Gursikhs and non, and also get some advice. Please don't just slander me as I don't need that right now. I took amrit aged 15 but then went down the wrong path at 18 when I moved out for uni, but secretly. I started drinking (usually on my own at home), occasionally smoking a cigarette when in the pub low key and I also dabbled in some weed and coke here and there. I did not become an addict or alcoholic by any means. I have always had a major problem with kaam. I got together with my best friend but this was an on off relationship and a distance one due to areas. Mostly based on phone calls, emails etc. I never told her about what kurehats I had done. She was amritdhari. During our last off period which was about a year, she had met someone else. I called her one day to say I still love her and later down the line she told me that she met someone and their wedding was arranged and date set. This broke me and I still wanted us to be together as we always spoke about. Anyway, we met a few times and one thing lead to another. This lasted up until her wedding. She didn't call off the wedding due to being afraid of her parents etc. Now, I was obviously heartbroken and lonely. I have always been a horny chap and with the regular physical activity no longer there with her it was difficult for me. Anyway, I went to pesh and retook amrit but my heart wasn't in it as I could not speak openly to the panj piaare due to time restraints and as one was hell bent on telling me off without me fully explaining all my kurehats. I still done the seva they said but just felt I was not forgiven as everything wasn't disclosed. Then an old friend of mine got in touch but she was married and not happy. It had only been a year since her marriage. We got close on the phone declared we liked each other in all ways and met. Nothing happend as I knew I retook amrit and she is married. I resisted so much for a few years and had several "opportunities" with other friends and colleagues which I didn't do. But being full of kaam I couldn't any longer and had an affair with my married friend. Now, I have disrespected my Guru and Amrit twice now and cant give up sex with her but I know one day I will have to as she cant leave him. My conscious gets to me. Question, will I be forgiven?? I read plenty of bani and do seva. I don't plan on taking Amrit yet because I cannot fall a 3rd time and take the piss so will wait a few years and control.my kaam before going in front of the panj piaare. I need to sort my kaam out. I cant get married to someone I don't love otherwise that would have addressed the issue. Any advice and thoughts? Thank you.
So my marriage has completely changed since we had our first baby, we started to argue and not get along- i hear this is normal due to factors such as sleep deprivation, low social life and constant struggle of getting through the routine of cooking and cleaning... Anyways then I got pregnant again which resulted in a misscarriage. He wasn't there to support me and even after it happened he spent a whole weekend shouting about me sleeping and not pulling my weight (excuse me if the loss of gallons of blood have tired me out). Since then I just keep fanticising about other guys, can be off tv, exs, anyone but him. I feel like having a affair (but really if it came down to it i would feel guilty and couldnt do it) but I seriously am in the mood.... for anyone but him.. i feel regretful of this marriage now and sometimes seriously want a divorce! I've told him how I feel like going out there and getting under someone else cos our intimate life is dead and that's made us argue even more. I can't even do or listen to path anymore cos my mind is into sex24/7. Is how i feel a result of a hormone balance due to the misscarriage? Or am I ever going to go back to normal with him? I know how I feel is wrong, ask me 4 months ago and I would see myself devoted for life but right now i'm a different person?
Looked how messed-up our community is we need to deal with this <banned word filter activated> now before it becomes worse. ************************************************** West Midlands family in £80,000 benefit fraud Wednesday 26th October 2011, 11:29AM BST. A family of five who pocketed almost £80,000 through a Black Country benefit fraud have all been spared an immediate jail term. The racket lasted almost eight years and involved three different properties in Smethwick and Edgbaston. The con involved newsagent Mahroof Hussain, 44, his wife Farida Bi, his lover Manjit Dhillon, and his sisters Farida Begum and Jamilia Bi. Dhillon, 41, gave a false name for her landlord while living in a house in Smethwick owned by Hussain and collected £40,805 over almost eight years, Wolverhampton crown court heard. Farida Bi, 43, pulled an identical trick on a house in Southfield Road, Edgbaston, owned by relatives, bringing in £16,753. Farida Begum, 39, made similar false claims getting £14,302 over four years on a house in Bowden Road, Smethwick and Jamilia Bi, 35, pulled a similar con that netted £4,446 . The women each admitted making false claims while Hussain pleaded guilty to allowing his wife and lover to make false claims. Dhillon was given a 10 month suspended jail sentence and 150 hours’ unpaid work; Hussain from Rotton Park Road, Edgbaston, got a 12-month jail term suspended for 18 months; Farida Bi and Farida Begum, of Rotton Park Road and Bowden Road respectively, each received six month suspended prison sentences and 100 hours of unpaid work. Jamilia Bi of Manor Road, Smethwick, was given a 12 month community order under supervision and 100 hours’ unpaid work. Read more: http://www.expressandstar.com/news/2011/10/26/west-midlands-family-in-80000-benefit-fraud/#ixzzG3q86EmEm [/left]