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Found 11 results

  1. I've just recently gotten into Sikhi, and need help dealing with a problem at home. I don't know what to do. My brother recently had his "gf" move into our home. She is not an apne, she is Muslim. She always makes rude remarks towards me, if I tell her to do one simple thing she will over exaggerate everything to my brother who will then yell at me, and sometimes even resort to violence. I barely talk now a days. She also steals my clothes and shoes, because she knows I can't do anything about it. I told my parents about it and they don't care. It just saddens me, and ever since she came I have been really angry and been getting attached to world things. I do my path every single day, and simran. What do I do? She is home 24/7 because no work or school.
  2. As you all are probably aware that I am engaged to this girl . However lately I am feeling gloomy since yesterday i think because for some reason I feel sad that I am marrying for lifetime to someone who I am not attracted to . I feel a big void in my life and as if in that void there can't be anything except pain and sorrow. Whenever me and my fiance talk to each other over phone, I never feel like intimacy , I feel like when will this call end , because it gets so odd and I don't know what to talk next. I feel like I fool myself into believing i like talking to her , however perhaps I don't . Or is it because we're not used to talking to each other yet. She lives in punjab and I am in mumbai. On the contrary talking to my male friends is fun and its not scary or anything . On other hand sometimes i feel like I am cheating this girl and keeping her in dark and god is going to punish me big for this I don't want to destroy any girl's life , I hope to satisfy her in every way a husband can -- however I doubt the bedroom part sometimes . I feel like how will I live with a girl I have no bonding with for a lifetime . Sometimes I question my decisions, other time I feel they're right because my parents are happy with her and I had little other option anyways. I certainly don't feel like an excited happy youngster about to be married. Its more like a rite of passage for me , a part of my monotonous life . And I have no idea what else to do . I don't even feel like I can go back now . I have moved beyond that point.
  3. Hi eveyone, Please take sometime to read my post and advise accordingly...thank you Im a sikh living in foreign country who has been speaking with a girl in india for nearly 8 months. Everytime i call, i say and ask everything. She tells me everything i ask but has never asked me about my hobbies, interests, job etc. Her mom always tell me and my parents my daughter speaks very little, is too nice and very shy and once she comes here, she will open up. I speak with her 3 times every week for nearly an hr and i do the talking, she listen...replies to me but doesnt ask me anything. I have asked her personal things aswell, but i feel she is not interested in sharing anything. I felt so happy everytime i called her but lately, everytime i speak with her and end the call, im unhappy and think if she is right for me. I am hurt she hasnt askes my anything at all and I have not called her for the past week and will not be doing so and am seriously considering calling this off. Because of her silence, i know little about her and this is troubling, i know nothing about the person who i might marry. Please advise: - does the above mean she doesnt like me? If so, why is she dragging this on. - should i assume she isnt saying anything for fear of her parents? Could our age gap (7 yrs) be a problem? - 8 months is a long time for a couple to get comfortable with one another and i feel i have given her enough time and she should be discussing things with me. - before you say she is an introvert, my parents, friwnds and job colleagues say im also an introvert. Please advise
  4. Guest

    Single and Sad

    I'm a very simple, shy girl. I am not a strict Sikh but I believe in and trust Waheguru. Im turning 30 this year and I want to find the right man to share my life with and start a family with. I never dated and I've always been socially shy. I dont have any friends or family who I can rely on to arrange a rishta for me. The loneliness never affected me before but I am feeling it now. I have tried online dating and met a few guys. But they all lose interest in me because going out partying and drinking isn't my cup of tea. I feel lost and I dont know where to meet my partner. I am afraid I will be alone forever.
  5. We have youth in punjab cutting there hair an turning there back on sikhi an turning to drugs Do you believe another bhindranwale will be born who will turn people away from drugs back to sikhi an being proud sardars
  6. Guest

    Being Sikh/punjabi

    Hello everyone im in the united states marine corps and i am a punjabi and my religion sikh and there isn't a lot of us in the marines ha im making this topic cause im sad for punjabi's and also sikhs i say this cause im orginally from NY and theres alot of us there but what im saying to you i believe isnt what everyone thinks its just me so ill leave us and ours out of this. i have never been on this forum or even try to look for something like this but i want to see if there is anyone else that believes what i believe about what i have to say and i apologize before hand in what i have to say. I am ashamed not in everyone as punjabi and sikh im sorry i am i will explain as much as i can but i have had this on my chest for a long time and i am 21 now what i see in us i dont see singh "lion" i see us as weak and our identity challenged in every step we take by other color and cultures made fun of i stand up for what i am ever since 9/11 and i dont take kindly when my very being is insulted or my family i have also never taken singh as my last name i take my family name as my last cause thats important to me i take singh as my middle name just so yall know. but im here to say that when i see sikhs at our temples i see them know talking in english or broken english with punjabi and thats not a big deal but i was born here in america but i some how speak like im from the village i dont know why i just do haha but what im trying to say is that we have a very rich history but we are mistake as hindus or muslime and they dont teach anything really about us in school but when i see others make fun of us i know i said id keep us out of it but it cant be helped i see yall do nothing about it they take advantage no one stands up yes we practice peace but when our very image and the way we are is challenged we must stand up and yes FIGHT with your hands to protect our image not turn our heads we live in a different time and i do not want us to be looked down on at all and i see our people as weak and made fun of i cant take it i cant im sorry but we men call our self's lions then be a lion take pride in your name cause you represent your family and your culture I KNOW ALOT OF YOU WILL TAKE THIS AS OFFENCE BUT PLEASE UNDERSTAND I WAS IN NY WHEN 9/11 HAPPENED AND SEEN WHAT HAPPENED TO US AFTER IT I GREW UP IN IT AND I DID NOT LET THEM MAKE ME WEAK I STOOD UP all i ask is im sad to see us like this i am ashamed its sad makes me very sad u cant comprehend how i feel for us i have alot more to say but i want to hear what yall have to say so i can go more into it
  7. Guest

    Sad Tale To My Story

    Dear Sadh Sangat Ji, I ended up in a situation, which I am quite disheartened and confused. I was dating a Sikh girl, for the past 6 months, and felt like she was someone right for me. Unfortunately, my parents didn't agree with the marriage, even though there was nothing wrong with the girl. My parents told me to try going to India, even though I didn't want to, my parents said, maybe you'll find someone right for you there, I agreed after my parents said that if you dont find anyone, you can marry the girl. I went to India, they showed me 7 girls, all of them honesty I wasn't personally attracted to, nor did I feel like their coudl be any affection. While going to India, I realized it was a a very shady place, and honestly dont recommend any guys (USA, Canada,UK) to go, they are honestly after your passport. Finally, my parents said there is one girl, and basically my entire family pressured me into getting married with the girl. I ended up getting engaged, and am back now in the states. However, I am somewhat depressed, have gained weight, and feel very troubled now in life. I beieve in God and the law of attraction, and not sure why this had happened, I find our parents emotionally blackmailed me to getting married to the wrong person. I have a humble request to everyone to not force their kids in getting married, and instead let them marry who they choose.
  8. Guest

    weird feelings

    Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru ji ki Fateh. This has been happening for ages now. i'll be happy one minute then suddenly it just hits on me and i feel extremeley down. I tr yand try to look happy and i think of happy things, but then i just give up and am back to my normal self. almost depressed. I just start missing people suddenly, not anyone, but gursikhs that i've met, like really good raagis and chardikala people, then i dont know i just cry and listen to kirtan all night. I'm an amritdhari girl, in high school starting collenge next year but i don't even want to. I mean, what if you die tomorrow then what is studying going to help me. I know these are negative thoughts, but im saying the truth, thats what i think. people do notice, like parents, and i just lie, i know thats wrong, saying im tired thats why my eyes are red, or i say i got face wash in my eyes and they're stinging. i say to my parents that im studying and i just listen to raagis hours upon end, all styles, akj, classic, tunes etc. sometimes i dont even know it and im actually crying. I do pray and do simran. i want to start learning kirtan but parents say that i have to study first. I know for a fact that im going to fail, but the worst thing is that im not even bothered, so i dont even know why i mentioned education in this post. When i sometimes see a singh or singhni in bana, ijust think wow, just feel inspired but upset that there are so many bad people in the world and poor people. So the main thing is that i feel really down, i will just listen to lots of beraag shabads, this week i've been listenening to the history of the Sahibzade and i just cry and cry. People tell me that i am too emotional, but that isn't the case. if someone is nasty to me i do stand up to them and have had many fights, so i'm not feeling sorry for myself or anything, it is just that even when the atmosphere at the gurdwara is rally happy, and everyoone is really happy at home, i still don't feel happy. I'll google a picture of a shaheed singh and just stare at it and cry without even realising. I dont think its anything to do with beraag, becaus thats a good thing. I just feel down, and always upset. I can't remember the last time when i was smiling from inside, i just do it to make my parents think i am okay. They ask me whats wrong, but how can i tell them whats wrong when i dont even know myself what wrong. I know i sound confusing but i would like to know does anyone know whats wrong with me. i have been told to eat more and sleep more but i feel like my heart is beating really fast, consistently. i also feel really impatient sometimes, and think why don't Maharaj come back today, like right now! in the same form, and bring back all the puraatan singh with them, i dont know, just get lots of really weid feelings. i just want to catch the first flight to amritsar and hug a chardikala gursikh as hard as i can and not let them go. youcan laugh at me, but these are the things that i feel. i want to be surrounded by gursikhs for the rest of my life. i have no energy to do normal things like shopping or eating, just feel lost really. Ive just been crying a lot. i dont want people to feel sorry for me, just tell me whats wrong with me, and im not going to the doctor becaise all i will be told is to have lots of water, that doesn't help me in any form. have any of you's thought like this or felt this way maybe.
  9. Guest

    Dont Know What To Do?

    Well I grew my hair for 17 years.. and I feel like cutting it. I grew it long because of my mum and dad and cos they don't want me doing fashion or anything .. my dad cuts his hair, my mum grew her hair but because of age its not as long as mine. I cant paint my nails, do makeup, wear dresses/skirts. when I was young I could but as I grew up.. in yr6 things changed. I don't care about dresses or skirts or makeup. I feel like cutting my hair as its too long and cos im not religious im confused. my siblings had long hair but my bro and sis cut theres cos my bro couldn't handle his so my dad and mum allowed it and my sis cut it on the sly although she got told off. I feel like doing a fringe and cutting it back length..cos its longgggggggg like dragging. I cant do fashion hairstyles either. :Lol. I cant ask cos im scared. -.-aha what do you think?? I feel like painting my nails but like light colours not to daring as my mum and dad always have sed.. ur single so u shouldn't do much as people would look and blah blah.. I will be getting an arranged marriage. btw if u love someone..and they love u but there an diff caste how do u go on about it.. like I said arranged.
  10. Guest

    psychiatric help

    waheguru jee ka khalsa waheguru jee kee fateh is it improper for an amritdharee to seek psychiatric help? i know we are supposed to take refuge in gurujee alone, but lets say someone needs some sort of psychiatric help. would it be considered a weakness in the person's sikhee just because they chose to go to a psychiatrist? thank you for reading waheguru jee ka khalsa waheguru jee kee fateh
  11. Dear Sangat ji, One thing I have realized is the whole world is obsessed with sex, posters on this forum are obsessed by the fact that they are addicted to pornography or are obsessed with kaam or maybe they have had sexual relationships already. I was always interested in getting married when I was younger, in fact as a young man, I was hoping that I would be married off when I was 24, it never happend. I never decided to have sex even at that early stage, because I believed in the notion of waiting till marriage. I think these these days, no one does, and the fallacy of expecting your wife to be a virgin is worthless as well. I waited, I still didnt' decide to have sex, but I met a lot of Sikh women, (Yes, you can call them Sikh or not), but I choose to, did it matter to me if they were virgins or not, but they expected to have sex and if you didn't, you were classified as gay or something was wrong with you. Lets just say, I never wanted to admit that I was a virgin, here I am 27 and telling women, I have never engaged in intercourse, well lets just say it was comical to say the least. So I am turning 29, my parents are asking me to go to India in July to get married and which I am.. But my concern was why I even bothered to not have sex, I believed in this whole notion of love and marriage, and soul mates.. I feel somewhat cheated and sad, that I couldnt' find anyone.. I just needed somewhere to vent my sadness and frustration. To all teh girls born here in the UK/US/Canada, there are good guys out there, every check wants a guy who is a bad guy, who treats them like <banned word filter activated>, and finally they open their eyes. I wasn't a boring guy, but I think I was a genuine human being. Confessions of a Toronto Nice Guy
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