Recently I have been having strong, STRONG thoughts of committing suicide. I even planned out a way to do it and what i'm gonna write in my suicide note. I've also thought about what my life would be like if i failed at it and how my family would react. I have done a lot of bad deeds in my life, but am trying to better myself bit by bit. Every time I wanna go back to these bad deeds I tell myself no..then these thoughts start popping into my head and don't seem to leave. Is this maya telling me to do this? and if it is...what is the best way to shut it up and get these thoughts outta my head?