MKaur89

It's a shame, but to be honest I can't say I'm surprised as I always had a feeling they wouldn't last.

I hope she doesn't leave the path of Sikhi too. Some old habits are hard to change, and some times it's best to learn how to walk before you start running. Yes, she is blessed to have found the path of Sikhi, but the reality is that rehat is difficult to maintain and once the new 'excitement' wears off, lots of 'converts' (to any religion) find it hard to maintain that inner high and quickly wander off in search of the next fix somewhere else, especially those who come from a party-animal/drink/drugs/hippy background.

I wonder if she is still linked to these 3HO yoga teachers as shown on this link http://yogamint.com/about-us as to me she comes across as confused.

Not sure if you are in the UK or not but I know SMA is a popular formula milk brand here and on this link they explain which products are vegetarian but they don't mention egg/egg powder http://www.smanutrition.co.uk/sma-products/questions--605.aspx

I think it's best for you to check with your doctor and also you could try calling/emailing formula milk companies in your country and ask them to suggest suitable milk or to tell you the ingredients of their products.

Some baby milk contains omega 3 and 6 but this is not always from fish oil so it's best to double check with the companies before ruling any options out.

There is some more info here but it's aimed at vegans so it may not all apply to you http://www.vegansociety.com/lifestyle/parenting/vegan-babies-and-children/breastfeeding.aspx

http://www.vegansociety.com/news/vegan-infant-formula.aspx

Apparently some formula milk also contains lanolin-derived vitamin D and lanolin is grease from the sheep's wool so I don't know where you would draw the line, as technically lanolin is vegetarian but not vegan. If you are looking for egg-free, vegetarian milk then you may be able to find something quite easily but if you are after vegan milk which is completely free from any kind of animal derived ingredient (eg. whey/lanolin) then I think that will be a lot more difficult, if not impossible.

Here is a list of animal ingredients as sometimes we may mistakenly think something is vegetarian as it appears to be meat free but actually it may contain other animal-derived ingredients http://www.peta.org/living/vegetarian-living/animal-ingredients-list.aspx

In the end, you need to do what is best for you and your baby. Whether that is breast-feeding only, or combining breast milk with suitable formula milk. Always consult your doctor/midwife first as the health of mother and baby is the most important thing.

Nothing but breast milk is suitable for at least 6 months and ideally much longer. See another doctor.

True, but for a variety of reasons not all women are able to breastfeed.

How about Dilbaag Kaur?

It means 'the one with a blossoming heart'

Oh I'm very sorry, sis, haha. I miss the 'Kaur' bit of your name and only seem to focus on the 'M' and the '89' bits!

Oh it's fine don't worry. It used to be MKD89 but I just got it changed now to MKaur89.

It's obvious, bro. Maharaj's seva, langar seva, degh seva, etc., should be for Gursikhs. I don't think anybody can stop moneh from doing dishes and general cleaning.

Yeah I agree with that, I thought that GPS was suggesting that even the seva of washing dishes/cleaning should be for Gursikhs only, which doesn't seem fair somehow.

Maybe it's time for me to change my name, everyone thinks I'm a guy...

Seva of Gurudwaras and control should always be under Amritdhari singhs. There is no second opinion about that.

Which seva are you referring to? Or do you mean that any and all types of different seva in gurdwaras should only be performed by Amritdhari Singhs? What about Amritdhari ladies?

Those who commit suicide, do they really make their own decision to leave? Or, like everything else, is the act of committing suicide also part of God's will? I've never really understood this.

It's best to check before you order as different types of cheese may or may not be vegetarian depending on which country you're in. Some types of cheese are made using animal rennet (so they are not suitable for vegetarians) whereas some types are made using vegetarian rennet, which is fine. In supermarkets, you can look out for the vegetarian symbol on the packet, in restaurants or when you're out and about, it's usually best to ask beforehand. Also, parmesan is a popular Italian cheese which is never vegetarian so just be aware.

There's more information here: https://www.vegsoc.org/cheese

It's funny that people are saying making parchia with 'YES' or 'NO' is not what a Sikh of the Guru should do, but it's okay to encourage this Sikh of the Guru to have pre-maritial interracial relationships? In relationships of this nature, whether white or brown, sooner or later both parties give in to kaam and this is not the Sikh way of doing things.

To the OP, you already know your family won't be too happy about you bringing home a white girl, so what more needs to be said? Before things get too deep with this girl, why not sit your parents down and ask them how they would feel about having this girl as their future daughter-in-law? Surely it's your family you should be seeking advice from, not people here. It's you and your family who will have to deal with the consequences if you end up marrying this girl, not people on this forum so of course they will encourage you to do things that they wouldn't want their own brothers/sisters/daughters/sons to do. In my own family and many others, I've seen what happens when Punjabis marry white girls/boys and it's not pretty. The actions of one person can cause so much fall-out throughout even the extended family and it's not easy to be a part of this.

Your mother and father raised you, you owe more to them than this girl- why risk your parents' happiness and respect just because of a few rotten Punjabi girls you met. You mention that these girls were Punjabi and didn't like your turban and beard, but if instead you met or were introduced to a Punjabi Gursikh or keshdari girl, then she would like your turban and beard. Before you are certain that you want to marry this girl, why not ask your parents to use their connections to introduce you to a Punjabi girl who does respect your kesh, because despite common belief, there are quite a few Sikh girls out there who do want to marry a sardar.

Of course there are many white girls who do respect Sikh values and kesh, and even go on to marry Sikh guys. Some of these girls also become Sikh and take Amrit, but many more also do not become Sikh or amritdhari, no matter how much respect they have for our religion.

Pre-maritial relationships of any kind are forbidden, and an Anand Karaj can only be done between a Sikh man and Sikh woman- read up on it in the Sikh Rehat Maryada.

the depressing state of todays youth

True, but I think a lot of it is to do with the constant pressure women feel to 'look good'. It comes from all angles- billboards, magazines, newspapers etc and sometimes even your own family.

To the OP, I think a lot of girls, myself included, go through phases like this when you are fighting an internal battle and you wish to reject natural beauty and instead want to indulge in hair removal, make-up etc. even though you are fully aware that this goes against the ideals of Sikhi.

The only thing I can say is, the more Gurbani you read, the more you listen to and the more you make an effort to understand, the less your mind will feel like cutting your hair/wearing make-up/painting your nails/wearing fancy clothes. If you incorporate more simran, nitnem, sangat and seva into your daily routine, then you won't even struggle to give up these things, instead your mind will turn off from these things itself.

Also, it's a shame that some Panjabi families are still crippled by double standards- mum and dad and sisters are allowed to cut their hair etc. but there'll always be that one token son with the long hair and patka. Parents are the children's first teachers and best role models, if your parents adopted Sikhi themselves and were in Sikhi saroop and were keshdari then maybe you would feel more confident in rejecting what society perceives the true beauty of a woman to be. If you delve into Gurbani and truly try to live your life by its teachings and ideals, that will give you far more pleasure than a fashionable hairstyle or painted nails ever can.

What does it actually mean to be spiritual but not 'religious'? I've never really understood.

Even though you have different surnames, as far as I know the older generation can be a bit funny about marrying someone from the same pind as your nanke/dadke and even someone from your mum or dad's nanke pind. Your dadi and her nani would have been like sisters as they are from the same pind, maybe thats why there is an issue.

Although I think your situation should be fine as it's quite a distant link but this is how us "younger generation" think and your parents/grandparents will obviously have a different opinion.

To be honest, there a lot of worse things you could do than marry a girl who is from your grandmother's village, so hopefully both families can reach a mutual agreement. It's usually a good idea to find out these things as early as possible, especially if you know either family has very traditional views, as it can save a lot of heartache for both parties.

Of course we all know that in both the morning and evening, it is best to eat after doing nitnem. There is no question about this. Some people just naturally don’t feel that hungry around amritvela time, whereas some people do and we all know that it’s hard to concentrate on anything on an empty stomach, especially path. It’s even harder to do path on a full stomach, which is why we are encouraged to eat less.

You have just two options. You can continue doing path without eating anything in the morning, and just push yourself and hopefully as the days go by you will build up your routine and you will find it easier to finish your morning nitnem on an empty stomach. This will require you to push yourself both mentally and physically, and you will find it very hard initially, but it is not impossible.

Or your second option is to have something light to eat and drink before beginning your morning path, like tea, coffee, juice, cereal, toast, yoghurt, fruit or a cereal bar. Just a little something that is enough to satisfy your hunger but nothing that is too heavy that will make it hard for you to do path. And then as your morning amritvela nitnem routine becomes more solid, you can begin eating less and less before you start path until you are able to do it on an empty stomach.

Sikhi is all about discipline- spiritual, physical and mental. When you first start following this path, and along the way, you will always encounter obstacles that try to throw you off the path or set you back a few steps. Our mind can be both our best friend on the path of Sikhi and also our own worst enemy. Guru Nanak Dev Ji says in Jap Ji Sahib ‘conquer your own mind, and conquer the world’.

ਆਈ ਪੰਥੀ ਸਗਲ ਜਮਾਤੀ ਮਨਿ ਜੀਤੈ ਜਗੁ ਜੀਤੁ ॥

Aaee Panthhee Sagal Jamaathee Man Jeethai Jag Jeeth ||

See the brotherhood of all mankind as the highest order of Yogis; conquer your own mind, and conquer the world.

That doesn’t mean that overnight we will be able to conquer our minds, but it’s all about building self-discipline and slowly learning to control our mind’s desires. When you initially start doing nitnem, you will feel hungry, you will feel tired, you will start yawning, your legs will get restless, your back will hurt, your mind will wander and so on. The mind is a fickle thing. The powers of maya and kaljug are so great that many forces will try to put us off doing path. But slowly we can learn to ignore these things and attune our minds to the one and only shabad and learn to focus during path. Then you may realise that you no longer feel hungry or tired or restless.

Also, to have a solid amritvela nitnem routine is a huge blessing and if you want it enough then Guru Ji will surely at some point grant you it by his grace. Some people have to set a million alarms to ensure that they are up by 3am, and then they still may just hit the snooze button and go back to sleep. With Guru Ji’s kirpa, some people don’t even have to set a single alarm to wake up on time, as Guru Ji himself wakes up that person as he knows they have an internal yearning for amritvela.

Do ardas before you start your nitnem (and also after) and ask Guru Ji to bless you with the kirpa to focus on your path with pyar and sharda. If a Sikh is hungry for a Gursikhi jeevan, amrit, nitnem and amritvela di daat, and does ardas from the bottom of his/her heart, then surely one day Guru Ji’s blessings will rain down on that person.

Have a light, early dinner and sleep early enough so that you will feel well rested by the time you want to wake up at amritvela, then when awake get out of bed straight away, have a shower (start off with warm showers and then gradually switch to cold showers if you can’t handle them straight away- a cold shower will wake you up and help you focus) and then find a nice, quiet spot to sit down and begin with simran and jaap of mool mantar before moving on to nitnem. I wish you the best of luck.

Khalsa Ji, I didn't say I was actually going to do it. I said I just wanted to know what people thought about it.

I didn't know people would actually remember who's Amritdhari and who's not on this forum

Nobody forgets anything around here.

I mean while wearing a round dastar would it be considered against Gurmat?

Yeah shades isn't a problem, but I just wanted to be sure before I went out and bought a visor for a hike.

Maybe it's ok because it's not as if you are wearing the visor as a replacement for the dastar, like those people who wear caps instead. Your main aim is most likely protecting your eyes from the sunlight whilst hiking. Although I think in your case getting sunglasses would be your best option, they will look better and be more comfortable with your dastar compared to a visor.

Words fail me...

I don't think you can generalise so easily- you'll find a mixture of traditional/westernised Asians and Sikhs in both the north and south...and even in the east or west.

Beans, lentils, hoummus, soy etc are all good sources of protein. I've not heard much about tofu causing bloating, but maybe a little bit of everything is ok in moderation. The toughest thing about cutting out entire food groups is making sure you're still getting all the right vitamins/minerals, which is hard for vegetarians, and even harder for vegetarians who are looking to lose/control their weight.

Try Tofu. You can buy it plain (like a slab of paneer but much softer and bigger) and then just drain it and you can marinate it or just fry it and add it to curries, stir fries, salad, or you can scramble it and make a bhurji type sabji.

You can also buy marinated tofu pieces which are also nice. Generally, I find tofu quite bland so you have to add quite a lot of spices/veggies to make it taste good.

You can find it here http://www.cauldronfoods.co.uk/our-range/tofu and it's available in most UK supermarkets.

It's kaljug, what else can we expect? The wise are called fools and the fools are called wise.

Keep doing what you are doing, stay strong in your faith and principles and don't compromise them for anyone. Who knows, maybe one day your family may be inspired by you to change their ways. You never know when Guru Ji will choose to bestow his grace on someone.