MKaur89

"The Gurmukhi script is tightly associated with the Sikh religion, as the words guru-mukhî literally mean "from the mouth of the guru". It was created in the 16th century CE by the second Sikh guru, Guru Angad, to write the Punjabi language. Stylistically, Gurmukhi derives its letter shapes from Landa, but considerable influence from Nagari is evident from the top horizontal bar present in most letters."

I copied this from http://www.ancientscripts.com/gurmukhi.html and if you click on Landa on the link then you can see how the Gurmukhi letters are similar in shape to Landa letters.

Landa:

http://www.ancientscripts.com/landa.html

Anyone else think the behaviour of the Singh is rather cowardly? He's placed all responsibility for clarification regarding this little mess firmly on the shoulders of the girl in-case HIS honour and reputation are damaged by coming forward. I wouldn't be such a firm believer in his piety and moral fortitude if this is how he conducts himself.

I'm surprised nobody has objected to the "knee-to-knee" situation between the two in Maharaj's darbar being a problem. Maybe I'm old-fashioned that way, ey?

You youngsters think you are beyond reproach by adorning yourself in the garb of the holy, but your thoughts and actions are far, far from such ideals. You mock the Guru you pledge your allegiance to when you cannot even control your desires in his presence! The name of the Guru is used to justify the actions and thoughts of these individuals; how can you know his mind when you are capable of controlling your own? Shame on you who think you have impunity from consequences that you would condemn others for in a heartbeat. What a shower, what an absolute shower. I'm out, I honestly am. Just... what is the point?

Well said, I totally agree with you 100%. It's sad that people post here looking for advice, but then only listen to what they want to hear. Most of the time they have already made their mind up before posting and just want others to justify and confirm that what they are doing is okay, when it is far from not.

"True love" or not (I don't believe it is), 18 is far too young to be getting involved in these situations. And if you do want to carry on like this, do it away from the gurdwara. What a shame that other members are actively encouraging her to a approach a Guru ka Singh in sangat and disuss her romantic feelings with him.

Also izzat is a very precious thing, once it's gone you don't get it back. If the aunties in the gurdwara are already raising eyebrows about you two discussing your feelings then I urge you to rethink your actions. And if you don't care about what others think, then ask yourself what would my parents think and most importantly, what would my Guru think- the Guru who you gave your head, mind, body and soul to when you took Amrit.

Things with gelatin in them are not even classed as vegetarian. There are lots of yoghurts that do not contain gelatin so it is quite easy to stop eating gelatin if you want to.

Regarding pesh due to eating gelatin, maybe it's best to ask a senior Gursikh in your area or panj pyare as they will have more knowledge.

It also depends on if you ate it by mistake or on purpose, so it's important to check the ingredients of everything you buy and eat.

Whenever you have any doubts about pesh or conduct/lifestyle as an Amritdhari, the best advice you will get will be from the panj pyare, after all they are ones who gave you Amrit di daat and explained the rehat you must now follow.

I know it's easier and quicker to ask for advice here and on other forums, but you will always be given mixed opinions because everybody has different viewpoints and you may end up feeling more confused than you were to start with.

As far as I understand, below are the four circumstances in which you must absolutely go for pesh and this is taken directly from the Sikh Rehat Maryada on the SGPC website:

"The undermentioned four transgressions (tabooed practices) must be avoided:

1. Dishonouring the hair;
2. Eating the meat of an animal slaughtered the Muslim way;
3. Cohabiting with a person other than one's spouse;
4. Using tobacco.

In the event of the commission of any of these transgressions, the transgressor must get baptised again. If a transgression is committed unintentionally and unknowingly, the transgressor shall not be liable to punishment."

I don’t really know how to help you but just want to share a few things with you. Firstly, try to calm down and not get so worked up about this situation, because I see you mentioned you have suffered with depression in the past and this will not help. You are still very young and at your age a lot of people get caught up in relationships that don’t really work out and then a few years down the line they regret wasting so much time, energy and emotions into a futile relationship. You said at first you and this boy had a brother-sister type of friendship, and then your feelings changed and you started to fall for him. Well maybe he started to fall for you too and decided to stop talking to you before things go too far. That could be one possible reason. Or maybe he just realised that there are more important things to concentrate on than developing friendships and relationships.


Nowadays with Facebook, MSN and all these other social networking media on laptops and phones, it’s very easy for innocent friendships to develop into inappropriate ones. Which is perhaps why he said to have limited conversation with him in sangat only, and not via electronics. Now the issue is what should you do? Talk to him in sangat and tell him how you feel? Or leave it? To be honest, only you can answer this question after looking in deep inside and realising what you really want. If you and this boy were to resume your friendship and perhaps enter into a relationship, will it enhance your jeevan? Will it help you become a better Gursikh? Or will it further trap you in the claws of kaam, krodh, lobh, moh and hankar?

Everything is a test from Guru sahib, and the fact that you recognise this shows that deep down you know that everything you see around you, all our relationships with our family and friends and all our possessions etc. is just maya, an illusion. An illusion that distracts us from God. Our stay on this world is just a very short one, and it’s best we use this time wisely.
You say your feelings for this boy are based on love and not lust, yes this may be true but the real love we have should be reserved for Guru sahib. At this stage in your life, the only true relationship worth pursuing and building is that with your Guru. It’s only Guru ji who will love you selflessly, and pick you up when you are down and support you. But we must earn this love by walking towards Guru ji on the correct path, by trying our best to live a Gursikh lifestyle.


99% of friends and family are selfish and only around you when they want something. The minute you need help, they are nowhere to be seen. However, Guru ji is always around and hungry for your love. Take one step towards them, and they take 1000 steps towards you. If I’m honest, I think it’s best for you to try and ‘get over’ this boy. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, but if you put your mind to it then nothing is impossible. At 18 years old, you have lots of other important things to do besides get into messy friendships/relationships. Concentrate on your studies and getting good grades at school/college/university. Alongside this, try your best to either do your nitnem every day or even listen to it. Try waking up at Amritvela, it’s a very peaceful time of day compared to the usual hustle and bustle of our daily lives. Do as much Chaupai Sahib jaap as you can, or listen to it, to build inner strength and drive away all your anxiety. Try to go to the gurdwara daily if you can, going to sangat helps and try to do seva when you can. Do ardas to Maharaj to give you strength and the courage to make the right decisions, to bless you with Amritvela, a Gursikhi jeevan and protection from the panj vikaar- kaam, krodh, lobh, moh and hankar.

I am not much older than you but I remember being 18/19 and thinking that I know everything. And now I look back and think how wrong I was. On the one hand I was grown up and sensible, and on the other hand there was still a naïve, slightly immature side to me. And that goes away with age and experience as you grow older and realise what is important in life. The main things I have learnt over the years is that firstly, life is too short, so we need to devote more time to being better Sikhs and remembering God- who will be our only support in the end. When we die, our friends, parents, boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, wives, brothers and sisters will not go along with us. When our actions must be accounted for, no-one will be by our side.

Another thing is that as you try to lead a Gursikhi jeevan, sometimes along the way you will stumble, and maybe fall off the path. Then a small nudge in the right direction puts you back on the path. This can happen when you are 18, 28, 58 and even 88 and all the ages in between. Guru ji will test you throughout your whole life, but it’s important to stay strong. You must have absolute faith and love in your heart for Guru ji and hopefully you will always remain on this correct path. Try your absolute best to never give up doing/listening to nitnem, and you will always have Guru ji’s hand on your back as an eternal support. I am by no means perfect, and I do realise that for girls your age your situation is an all too common one. I just wanted to help you take a step back and see things from a different angle. It’s best not to go chasing after one person or different people. When the time is right for marriage, Guru ji will introduce you to the right person and until then everything is out of our hands.


I wish you all the best and hope you are able to make the right decisions. I took a Hukamnama online with your situation in mind and this is what Maharaj said:

This Shabad is by Guru Amar Daas Ji in Raag Vadhans on Pannaa 594

ma 3 ||
Third Mehla:

sathiguroo n saeviou moorakh a(n)dhh gavaar ||

The foolish, blind clown does not serve the True Guru.

dhoojai bhaae bahuth dhukh laagaa jalathaa karae pukaar ||

In love with duality, he endures terrible suffering, and burning, he cries out in pain.

jin kaaran guroo visaariaa sae n oupakarae a(n)thee vaar ||
He forgets the Guru, for the sake of mere objects, but they will not come to his rescue in the end.

naanak guramathee sukh paaeiaa bakhasae bakhasanehaar ||2||
Through the Guru's Instructions, Nanak has found peace; the Forgiving Lord has forgiven him.

If you have twins do you take one hukamnama or two?

Harveer

Harsimran

Harnek

Harkiran

Harleen

Gurkaran

Guraman

You are obviously not compatible for each other so why not just politely decline and ask your parents to find someone who will be more suitable for you, such as someone who is already Amritdhari or someone who is willing to take Amrit before or soon after marriage.

If you already know before marriage that this girl from Mumbai is unwilling to take Amrit at a later stage, then it would be very unwise for you to go ahead and get married to her. Being an Amritdhari, you obviously understand the importance of Amrit and accepting Guru Gobind Singh Ji's hukam, whereas this girl has a different opinion, for whatever reason (job etc.). So already your fundamental beliefs are not in line with each other and this can cause many problems in the future.

Also, you mentioned that your parents said she may take Amrit later so it's not an issue. She may become Amritdhari, she may not. She may be inspired by you and decide to change her mind, but then again she may not. There's no guarantee. Is that really a risk you want to take?

It's best to get married to someone who is on the same wavelength as you and who is spiritually at a similar level as you or even higher, so you can encourage each other to lead a Gursikhi jeevan. That way you don't have to worry about breaking your rehat, eating jhooth etc. Marriage is for life so it's best to take your time and not rush your decisions. You are already having doubts, so maybe deep down you know this girl is not the right one for you.

Having been in a similar situation quite recently, the advice given to my family by the paathi Singhs conducting the Sehaj Path was that, from a gurmat perspective, we shouldn't do anything for the barsi and not even for the first one.

He said that if we 'manaa' the barsi every year, we are just calling the soul back again and again and we should not do this.

But I know lots of people do arrange for akhand paths or sehaj paths or Sukhmani Sahib paths to take place at their local gurdwara or at their home, and this is usually after one year has passed and then on similar dates in the following years. Some people arrange to have a path done every year, some just after maybe 1 year or 5 or 10. Some people just choose to have an ardas done at the gurdwara to remember the barsi and to pray for shanti of the atma.

I've seen lots of akhand paths take place at gurdwaras to remember someone's barsi, but whether or not we are meant to do this is a separate issue. Some say it's ok, some say it's not. I bet if you were to ask your local gurdwara they will most likely say 'yes it's fine, here are the available dates and here's a price list' but hopefully other members on this forum who have more knowledge will be able to shed some more light on this.

If you and your family already know that you do definitely want to do something for the barsi, then it's probably best to talk to someone at your local gurdwara who can help with all the necessary arrangements.

You can try contacting the Sikh Organisation for Prisoner Welfare (SOPW) and ask them how to send gifts, because on their website they have addresses for sending letters/postcards.

http://www.prisonerwelfare.com/

Your bhabi's cousin may not be her "real brother", but in most Panjabi families cousins are seen to be just like your own brothers/sisters.

So even though you have no blood relation with your bhabi's bhua's son, maybe she feels uncomfortable with the idea of you marrying someone who is just like a brother to her.

Also, maybe you should have thought this through before things got out of hand and you developed feelings for each other. These kinda situations can get quite messy and bring shame to both sides of the family if things don't work out and you don't want to ruin the relationship you have with your brother and bhabi.

I think your bhabi's reasoning of "it's against our religion" is a poor excuse and one that's not true. So the best thing would be to talk to her properly and see if that's the only reason she disagrees with you, or if there are any other real reasons she is opposed to the rishta.

From a cultural perspective, I'm not 100% sure if this is okay or not but I'm leaning towards no. But it seems like you are determined to go through with it anyway so why not see what your brother and parents think before getting carried away.

Is it Ocean Salt from Lush?

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsaa

Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

My dear sister, I can understand what you must be going through. I know you are aware that those things are not right, but it is hard for you to stop.

If you want to stop everything, you have to become a strong singhni. You have to do lots and lots of naam simran, baani, alll the nitnem paath, ardaas to Maharaj ji. Once Guru ji does so much Kirpa, your surti will start to become more and more pure. Waheguru ji is the purest! His children start becoming like Him with more Naam Kamaai.

Think about how much Karam you are making! Our karams are already soooo soooo much from so many previous life times! This is your life to kill all those karams and not make more karams! When we look at others and think about maya, we do keep on making karam. In Anand Sahib Guru Sahib says your eyes were not even made to see these things! They were made to see Waheguru ji!

There is a saakhi, forgive me I dont properly remember. In the olden times there was a very "beautiful", proudy women. Everyone in te village used to look at her. But Kabir ji was the only pure one there. She would be very proud of her beauty and apply mascara on her eyes and go out. After a long time when she died, Kabir ji was passing and saw a skull in which the sockets where eyes are, were filled with ants. Kabir ji said that once this women used to put mascara in her eyes and on the same places now ants live here. It was something like that.

In our generation, we are bombarded by images from adds, media so so much. Guys have wallpapers of cars on their laptops, women can't resist to look at model's posters again while passing somewhere. Try to recognize maya. If we do not know what is maya we keep doing wrong. Maya is all the model's picture we see, the tv dramas we see about relationships, even the non-khalsa colors we see! All our 5 sences are DRIVEN by maya... we take a second breath when smell some scent.. the songs we hear are wrong too.

Once Mata Sulakhni ji came to Guru Nanak Dev ji and did not look too happy. She said all the women around her wear fancy clothes, but she only wears white suit. Guru Sahib ji said not to look at them, and stay in saadgi.

It is all in our itihaas that Guru ji dosnt like all those decorations. So many time in Gurbani Guru ji mentions jewellery. You are Guru jis daughter, you have to listen to Guru ji. Do you think Mata Sahib Kaur ji wore make up? You should look like your Mata ji!

Even thought we are born in such Kaliyug, Guru Sahib still keeps on doing soo soo much Kirpa! I know Gursikhs our age who do not many things because they have FELT that these indeed disturbs your soul alot... They don't watch TV ( Don't even have Tv in their house), don't go to malls (there is SO MUCH disturbance happens to your soul in that place filled with loud noices and SO MUCH MAYA), don't have manmukh frnds ( Kabir jir said what do I talk to worldly people, they don't know about God. And all I talk about is God).

Also, we aren't really showing people how Amritdharis are suppose to be. I am telling you how it effects me. Truly, I don't want to be rude with you, my sister, but it really is disturbing for me when I see girls with keski wearing dresses. Please please don't wear dresses if you can. When I look at them.. I just can't seem to see them as Guru Gobind Singh ji's Daughters. I have tried so many times to see them that high, but I just can't seem to do that. I see girls doing Keertan at Gurdwara, my heart kinda sinks. Once I was trying to prove my family that Gursikhs are not suppose to wear jewellery. I was trying to convince my mom to wear them off. After a month my mom came with a Gurdwara calender which had a pic on women with keski wearing a big necklace. I did'nt have anything to say. I work with people and our manager ties Dastaar but does her eyebrows. My co-workers are punjabi aunties, and they talk how Amritdharis are fake. Once me and my friends were doing veechar about khands, and one girl said I am so bad that wen I think about Sachkhand, I think it is filled with bags and purses! I am sorry, my intention is only to explain how people get effected by this, but I really respect you for who you are.

Do 1 hour Simran, do Ardaas to Guru ji, then throw away all your cosmetics into garbage. Just do that. You want Guru ji to stand beside you when you go to Dharamraj. You don't want to take birth again and be more separated from Waheguru ji.

Also, SANGAT MATTERS!!!! Have Gursikhs sangat and eliminate manmukh frnds who bring maya vibes to you!

I agree with almost everything you've written but there's one point I'm not too sure about. Say for example if a Singhni does not wear Guru ji's bana full-time, then is there really any difference between her wearing jeans or a dress? Of course, at the gurdwara or when doing kirtan on stage it's best to wear bana or a Panjabi suit, but outside of the gurdwara if you don't wear bana 24/7 then why does it matter if you are wearing a dress or jeans etc?

I was inspired to register as an organ donor after reading Bhai Balwant Singh Rajoana's will and his wish to donate his eyes to the visually impaired Hazuri Ragi Bhai Lakhwinder Singh.

After all, once we die our physical body is of no use to us, and through organ donation we can potentially help save the lives of others.

Also, there is a shortage of donors from ethnic minorities, so it'd be great if lots more people could join the register.

Because who knows, maybe one day it could be us or a family member or friend who ends up on the waiting list for an organ transplant, so we should all do our bit to help.

The links below gave more info.

https://www.organdonation.nhs.uk/

http://www.organdonation.nhs.uk/campaigns/other_campaigns/black_and_asian/index.asp

Also attached is a leaflet made by the NHS related to organ donation from a Sikhi perspective.

Sikhism and organ donation.pdf

You could try these products:

https://www.lush.co.uk/product/363/Soak-and-Float-Shampoo-Bar

https://www.lush.co.uk/product/6029/Superbalm-for-Scalps

I use some other things by Lush and think they are quite good. But firstly you need to check with your doctor if your dry, itchy, flaky scalp is just dandruff or it could be something else, such as eczema or psoriasis and they may recommend or prescribe some creams, ointments or medicated shampoo for you.

Posted twice by mistake.

I think you can try a few different things to keep your hair healthy. Maybe try putting oil (Amla oil, coconut or any other hair oil) in your hair overnight, and then washing it out the next morning. Or, after washing and drying your hair you can rub a TINY bit of oil into your hair, but not too much or it looks greasy. Brush or comb your hair gently, and never when it's wet as that leads to more hair breakages and it will look even finer.

Also, make sure you are using the right shampoo and conditioner for your hair type. Condition the roots and ends only, not the scalp (unless it's really dry). I had the same problem as you quite a few years ago. My hair is still much thinner than it used to be but I just accepted it as it is now and just take care of it but I don't think mine will ever get any thicker. My doctor said it's due to stress and low iron levels, but I think you should see your doctor and they may take a blood test to see if you have any deficiencies and may suggest supplements/multivitamins.

The best thing you can do is improve your diet, drink plenty of water and eat fresh fruit and vegetables and see if that makes any difference.

Sadh Sangat ji,

I have been reading this forum for many years, but this is the first time I felt the need to post.

I am at university studying for a Master’s degree and I am struggling to put maximum effort into my studies and exam preparation. I started this course in September after finishing my BSc in June. Some days I am productive, some days I am not, and lately the latter seems to be the case. Most of the time I feel I would rather spend 3 hours at Gurdwara listening to path/kirtan/katha than 3 hours at home studying, but then if I do this I feel guilty for neglecting my studies.

I go to the Gurdwara everyday and do benti to Maharaj to bless me with a Gursikhi jeevan, Amritvela, Nitnem and success in my studies. Yet time and time again, I sit at my desk and half-heartedly try to revise for my exams. Also this is my 5^th year living alone away from home and it is very easy to become lazy and fall into bad habits such as eating late, sleeping and waking up late.

I really do want to complete this course, and soon the research project will start which is a major component of the MSc, and I know I will enjoy this more. But I struggle the most with exams, and I have two this month, and am not feeling too confident. I don't really get distracted by the Internet, and I have no TV, I just struggle to concentrate fully and put 100% effort in.

The number one thing going through my mind is that once I leave this world, all my wordly education will not come with me- only naam simran and Gurbani abhyaas will. So I think why do I devote so much time and money to my education when in the end it will serve no purpose?

This MSc will hopefully enhance my career prospects, but I am not after a six-figure salary, I would just like a job that utilises my degree knowledge and provides me with a modest, comfortable living. I guess I am asking the sangat to help me strike the right balance between Gursikhi jeevan and worldly education.

I think I need to develop a consistent Amritvela routine and sit down to study after completing Nitnem, and listen to kirtan or Sukhmani Sahib whilst studying. I just wondered if the sangat had any more ideas to help me practically achieve this goal.

Thanks for reading.

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!