Char

Ok Mehtab I entirely accept what you are saying, thank you for expanding on that. Genuine question what does the Guru Granth Sahib Ji say about this issue?

But the Sikh partner may wish to make that promise to God and to their partner in that way, doesn't that matter? So by being married to a non sikh you are basically excluded from being able to make a promise on your own behalf to god that you will conduct your marriage in a spiritual way and that you will live your life as a husband/wife and in every other way as a Sikh?

we all make mistakes, none of us is perfect, If i counted all the mistakes I made in my youth I'd be sitting here all day. Many of us have had our trust abused, forcing you into sex is horrific, someone took advantage of your commitment to them it's their shame not yours. What he did was utterly wrong and yes "he without sin cast the first stone". You say you feel broken, make yourself whole again, forgive yourself, you will have learnt something from this experience and you will know what to guard against in the future, mistakes are between god and you, they aren't for anyone else to judge. Time does heal wounds, things will get better. I wish you the best.

I'm sorry to hear you are having such difficulty, I would seriously suggest counselling, it may help to have someone outside of the family who neither of you know personally to help you discuss your relationship in confidence. I'm sure the Sikh help line can help, relate are also very good. I wish you the best.

You know what this militant attitude is really a bit distasteful, it's a great way to push people away from sikhism by telling people the door isn't open, they aren't sikh enough, their marriage isn't valid if they married a non sikh. People find their own way to god, pushing with a bullying narrative is not going to encourage anyone to learn more. Inter faith marriages are a fact of life, how about teaching people with kindness and compassion rather than vitriol. How about for example a non sikh (say an agnostic) who gets married in a gudwara to a Sikh, what would have been gained by excluding the Sikh partner from the Anand Karaj, something they care about deeply on the basis that their partner isn't sikh. Their marriage is no less real or meaningful, their vows to god and to their husband/wife are no less heartfelt, are we seriously saying that their marriage can't/shouldnt be recognised by God because one of them isn't Sikh?

Is it possible that non sikhs (whether they are from a sikh household or not) who marry a Sikh are showing respect for their partners beliefs by doing the Anand Karaj? Perhaps an atheist for example feels that their lack of belief should not be a barrier to their believing partners wishes. Some of the responses on here are downright rude, the OP asked a reasonable question and should expect a considered and reasonable response from members. I don't think there is anything wrong with challenging another persons views but personal insults to someone who is seeking advice and guidance is not the way to help anyone.