Markgateshead
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On 9/24/2020 at 1:15 PM, Guest Waheguru's Child said:
Hello,
I am writing regarding Seniors Sikhs who are getting married at the age of 60+.It is about my father who is talking with someone from a long time.MY mother passed away few years back and my father started talking to some lady within few weeks after my mom's death.I was so close to my mom so it was a big challenge for me to accept him talking and dating someone at this age.He is 60+ and is seeing this person from last few years and I was just hoping he will stop this all. Some of our relatives know this lady and they didn't have very good reviews about her.
I mean I understand that my father feels lonely and needs some companionship but he doesn't need to marry someone. I explained him all this and he told me that the lady is asking him to marry her or just end this relation now. She is kind of into fame and show off and my father is not that smart to see it. That woman was sending pics to my dad and calling every day and that time her husband was alive. Unfortunately her husband passed away after a year or something. Her children know about her relation and they are okay with it. My father is not seeing the reality. I don't live with my father and do not really expect anything from him like financial support or his money but I am just worried that he might end up with nothing.
I asked him nicely that maybe we can find someone he can talk to as a friend but he was so mad and did some emotional drama that he is sad and I don't care about his happiness.He wants her and that is it. I felt like I was dealing with some teenager not a senior. I am not that narrow minded person but it is still so hard to accept this all. I have tried my best to show him the right version of life but he sees nothing other than her life with that new partner.
I am exhausted now. Sometimes I tell myself to let it be but then again many things start bothering me. My father was not that polite with my mother and she had hard time. She requested him many times to have a better lifestyle , quit alcohol, spend time with us but he was never interested. Now I really feel he never respected her before and even after her death. I know I am so attached to this life and relations... It is all Maya..
Sangat ji I need your feedback on this. Please let me know what Should I do in this case. Please let me know if I should fight further with this or surrender to Waheguru's will. Is this really Waheguru's Hukam? It will be hard for me to talk to him if he goes ahead and marry her. How should I react to this entire scenario?
Even though others think your question is a “fake” question, nevertheless, it’s an important and extremely valid question. If your father is going to marry a woman in her thirties or childbearing age, make sure that you and your siblings sit down together and discuss your inheritance from your parents’ side. Make sure that he has already made a Will stipulating who is going to inherit your parental home, his savings in the bank and other important items of considerable value, sentimental or pecuniary. Because if you people haven’t done this yet, you will lose your entire inheritance, once his second wife has 3 - 4 children with him. In fact, this happened to my best friend, when we were all at university and living in the halls! I hope he will come forward and confirm what I am saying. He is on this forum too, just like many other friends of mine at university. Be diplomatic as well as shrewd about it all just like the Chinese
After all, your poor mother didn’t work so hard when she was alive, to have everything passed on to his new wife and children; basically a new family!!! Take care of your financial side quickly!
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Why do sikhs living in their own state of Punjab speak Hindi instead of punjabi?
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On 02/08/2017 at 3:10 PM, pardesanbibbi said:What made you convert to sikhism and how long have you been following it?
I was just very fascinated and curious by it all plus the fact I had many sikh friends to help me to learn about sikhism ! I have been a sikh for six years now.
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On 02/08/2017 at 8:43 PM, CHaamCHrick said:It wasn't deliberate though! I know, it can be very annoying sometimes having to explain to people constantly why we have long hair and the rest! Some people actually appreciate it very much when you take the time to explain everything to them. All things considered, I have no hassle from anyone about my faith. I am glad your parents are supportive but it must be difficult for them to accept the fact that you have surrendered your birth religion? How long have you been divorced? Yes, we all need hope and faith to sail through this journey of ours' on earth; so good luck with it my friend!
They were very suprised when I suddenly started discussing God. I have always been an atheist prior to become a sikh. They are supportive mostly but sometimes they also ask a lot of questions about sikhism. I been divorced for nearly two and a half years. I need all the luck to follow sikhism thanks.
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On 01/08/2017 at 11:37 AM, CHaamCHrick said:I am glad you reminded me, no problem bro!
I realised it as soon as I read your post but couldn't understand why you omitted the sikh Ardass. Even I have a problem explaining to my own parents about wearing the Sri Sahib beause of their Christian backgrounds. They try to support me as much as they can but still haven't come to terms with my conversion to the sikh faith and then the divorce, but I remain hopeful. I like the video posted by another poster.
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3 hours ago, parmjit10 said:Estoy aprendiendo inglés lentamente. please i buy spanish food from spanish shop no problem. please my landlady sikh so she go to indien to buy tomatoes some vegetables but now she go to india for business when she stay there 3 weeks so she not help me post here as my englsih no so good. i write more when she come back after india. my englsih no so good so I do'nt understand difficult post. lo siento por favor but i write again soon. i try again i sikh for 2 years when i live with in this house where my landlady teaches sikh to me. i learn sikh from her she good lady. she says i go to heaven if i pray so also go to sikh church to say pray also eat food. very nice.
You are lucky to have someone to help you type your posts. So, we will hear from you after three weeks? Once your English improves you will start to undersand difficult posts, don't worry too much about it. It will come. I understand your posts perfectly well. Good and hasta la vista.............friend.
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11 hours ago, CHaamCHrick said:
Bhagauti does not represent an ordinary sword, it represents the Supreme Creator in the Sikh ardrass. As far as I understand, when doing ardass we first remember the powerful mighty Waheguru in the form of bhagauti before we remember our 10 Gurus. Don't confuse Bhagauti/sword with any ordinary sword people might use to inflict injuries or harm on other people when they seeking revenge or imposing their religious beliefs on them. Sometimes, people throw questions at me asking me why we worship weapons? To this I simply say we don't. We worship waheguru, the Supreme Creator. I hope it makes better sense to you now what we mean by *Bhagauti* at least, this is what I understand. The term *Bhagauti* does not appear in the RT but time does.
I asked because you forgot to mention the Sikh Ardass. I know it is taken from Vaar Sri Bhagauti ki, so I was just wondering why you didn't make any refereneces to the daily Sikh Ardass. Good, now you have done that.
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7 hours ago, parmjit10 said:
I also like shaststars if it be sword only. but I not hurt no bodies because it not so nice to hurt many. so also a sikh i go to sikh temple along so my landlady who so nice giving me plenty food to eat. she good sikhs. you good sikhs two i know. this poor youtube at top old man have no clothes but not indien two no?
no puedo esperar para que usted pueda dominar el idioma inglés.
Parmjit10, can you buy Spanish food easily where you are now at your local grocery store? I can never find anything Spanish when I go back home. How long have you been following Sikhism?
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Bhagauti is a mighty sword with powers to free us from bondage? How?
I read the theory but I can't recall coming across this word ever.
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Happy Vasaaki everyone!
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I have noticed this too. I can tell their style of writing is similar. At first I thought, it's nothing, but now I am starting to think the same. There are many people here with multiple ids. Though, I won't mention them, I can tell. Unless they are all living in the same building and sharing the same Internet, eg, halls of residence, hotel, or rented accomodation. To be honest, it does not distract me at all. Each one to themselves.
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9 hours ago, singhnihk said:
I totally agree. Of course, Sikhism believes in ahimsa. Look at the Khalsa precepts. In my view, they fully endorse principles that define the concept of ahimsa. They clearly state not to hurt or injure others unless they present a threat to you first. In other words, Sikhs don't go looking for trouble until trouble beckons them first.
I consulted the following links. Do visit them if you need more information. I will recommend them to my friends too. They are truly indispensable.
https://www.thesikhencyclopedia.com/philosophy/ahimsa
http://www.sikhiwiki.org/index.php/Origin_of_non_violence
They are very good links to go to for new Sikhs. Can you recommend more links please? The information is quite straightforward and easily understood.
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On 26 August 2016 at 10:26 AM, singhnihk said:The article from the website mentioned below, clearly states that Gandhi was not responsible for the origination of this concept. He learned it from the Sikhs!
It states, "As fate would have it, Mahatma Gandhi is credited with starting the non-violent movement to oust the British from India, which later was to inspire leaders all around the world, including Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. of the United States, in the liberation of other oppressed peoples. Gandhi deserves a little praise since he did have a later role in the implementation of non-violence, but he certainly was not the originator of that concept. He learnt that from the Sikhs. The Sikhs, in turn, drew their inspiration from their Gurus, two of whom had willingly and peacefully accepted execution when it was appropriate to make their point about the tyranny of the Islamic regime. Over time, when the situation deemed it necessary and appropriate, the Sikhs used the principle of non-violence again and again."
The same article further articulates in its concluding paragraph that non-violence originated with the Sikhs. It states, "Gandhi's name has since been trumpeted throughout India and later throughout the world, yet the Sikhs have been virtually forgotten. Many people have never even heard of them. The time has come to give credit where it is due. The concept of nonviolence, which has led to extraordinary changes across the globe, originated with the Sikhs." *
* http://www.sikhiwiki.org/index.php/Origin_of_non_violence
And, of course the indispensable, https://www.thesikhencyclopedia.com/philosophy/ahimsa
Absolutely, ahimsa is defined as non violence in word, speech or action towards any sentient being. I learnt this when I read Buddhism. I don't see any problems with this definition. This is how the Buddhist monks defined ahimsa too in their daily discourses which I attended during my univarsity days.
Sikhism also believes in non violence up to a certain point. This is what is so appealing to most atheists like myself. The first 5 Gurus also taught non-violence. Having said that, the 10th Guru said, when all efforts to fight injustices by peaceful means or principles of ahimsa have failed, it is acceptable to resort to weapons.
India was under Mughal rulers throughout the Sikh history. The first five gurus resisted the rulers' evil wickedness or injustices without reciprocating their voilence or violent ways. They must have resorted to some methods other than weapons/violence to placate their evil rulers? It is very confusing for someone who comes from an atheist background.
From what I have learnt so far about Siekh religion is that the gurus taught non-violence towards everyone and everything and voilence only in self defence or in defence of others who could not defend themselves.
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Start expressing your concerns now to the British government before they start implementing such an unfair legislation with consequences for Sikhs as well. Sikhs are not responsible for all the chaos in this world. Why should they suffer when they have done nothing wrong?
Sikhs really need to teach the world and not just tell it about their faith and its requirements.
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Because of lack of unity among the Sikhs compliance is necessary. They rather comply to the most insulting treatment given to them than unite. I allude to a fairly recent case of the two Sikh sisters at a Catholic school. The girls were forced to remove their turbans by the headmistress, in fact, her assistant or someone physically started to unwind one of the girl's turban even though she told her it was a mark of disrespect for her to do so. They were told to wear a head covering that resembled somewhat to what Muslim girls wear. My point is this, even if the case has been resolved with school apologising , where is the guarantee this will not happen in the future? Do you know what was the outcome of this case? Why have Sikhs not been able to impress upon non Sikhs the importance of turbans and the other 5 kakaars regardless of race, gender or nationality?
I agree. I recently got divorced from my Sikh wife, she was more western than I am, the convert!!! I am not sure about the outcome of this case but I have noticed there are not that many Sikh girls that wear the turban. I was told by many Sikhs that they don't encourage their daughters to wear them or even become baptised if they can help it. I was under the impression that baptism was mandatory for both boys and girls! It is very confusing for the outsiders to understand Sikhism when they see only some Sikhs wearing turbans whilst the others with short hair. This becomes even more confusing as far as women or girls are concerned. They all claim to be Sikhs but why do they all follow different teachings or way of life?
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Start expressing your concerns now to the British government before they start implementing such an unfair legislation with consequences for Sikhs as well. Sikhs are not responsible for all the chaos in this world. Why should they suffer when they have done nothing wrong?
This will require unity, without it Sikhs will have to comply.
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Convincing them is going to be as hard as trying to convince them that Amrit/Sikh Baptism is to their advantage!!!!
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IT IS AN EXTREMELY, BEYOND WORDS, A VERY, VERY SAD TIME FOR ALL THOSE THAT THINK OR CALL THEMSELVES 'SIKHS.' See, if you can keep your eyes tear-free or dry during your Meditations or Contemplations during this time? IT IS SACRED.
It is during this sad period when the Beloved composed 'MITTAR PIYAREY NU HAAL MURIDAAN DA KAHENA!' Compare it with 'JABEY BAAN LAGIYO, TABEY ROS JAGIYO!' If people are not able to get the message contained in this Bani then no one can soften their rock-hard hearts. We need to understand the meanings of the Banis and their timings!
It is very a very sad part of my 'spiritual' Sikh history. The entire family of my Beloved Guru was martyred! Not to mention the Singhs and the original Panj Piyaareys. They are my history and I will always lovingly keep/hold this history safe in my heart, in every lifetime when I am born as a Sikh and I pray I will always be born a Sikh and nothing else! It is my SACRED history. It is Eternal!
I am so amazed at what you have stated in the bold above, because this is exactly what I pray for everyday, ever since I became a sikh. I have never ever looked back on my birth religion. Sikhism has given me so much that I can never repay the Guru ever. I have truly tasted the nectar, the Gubani, in my own special way! I am so lucky.
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Hello twelve year old Amritdari sikh. Did the 'babbas' not teach you the correct term for someone who has taken the Amrit? It is not known as 'amritshakt' but it is known as 'Amritdhari!' So, don't forget it! Are you sure you are telling us the truth about why you did what you did? You say you 'wanted to' but your parents said 'no' because you were not ready? Why did they allow themselves to be influenced by their friends? Are they easily influenced? Did you throw a tantrum because you 'wanted to' and then your parents gave in? Twelve year olds are known for throwing temper tantrums. You don't seem to make much sense. You wanted to take the amrit, your parents said you were not ready but then they qucikly changed their minds when their friends told them that it is 'bad to say no to your kids!' Very interesting!! Why don't you admit as a good, honest twelve year old amritdari sikh, that it was your decision to take the amrit even though your parents were against it. I know for sure, no gursikh parents will let their twelve year old take the amrit unless they are ready for it, friends or no friends!! You went ahead, and took the amrit, without finding out if it would prove too challenging for you or not.
Well, I am afraid, you cannot go back on it now. This is your life now, son! Once you become an amritdari, you remain an amritdari till the last day of your existence on this planet!! The best you can do is start taking it seriously and do your five banis daily and beg for forgivness for having such cowardly thoughts in your mind about shaving your beard. Stop worrying about your 'pretty big moustache' too. Your facial hair is part and parcel of being a male. If waheyguru ji wanted you to be a female, you would have been a girl, but you are not. So, accept it. You are a boy and boy you shall remain all your life. Besides, anyway, our parents always want boys, don't they? They are lucky, they have a son!
Your saroop is a gift given to you by waheguru ji. God made males and females. For males he wanted them to look sabat soorat. The beard, the chin hair, the moustache and the sideburns is what gives you a very unique appearance which is so masculine, attractive and appealing. So, don't worry too much about it, it is a gift from waheguru ji, be proud and grateful for what you have. Besides, you don't want to have a smooth looking face like girls, do you? No, so, don't shave. Be natural.
It is a law of nature/God for men to have hair on their faces. To shave it off is in breach of this Nature/God's law. Why would men like to imitate women and have smooth facial appearance? Why would they prefer to look feminine instead of masculine? After all, we never ever hear women expressing a desire to grow a beard or a moustache, do we? Do men think they are women? Is that why they shave their faces to look like them?
This is absolutely true in my case as a westerner. When I was blessed with the amrit the Panj Pyiarra told me the same. They said, if I am not sure about this then I must leave and not take the amrit. I was totally determined and never had any doubts. Coming from Christian family background, I found this to be the most exalting experience of my life. I was lot more older than 12. They said, if I ever decided to 'go back on it' it will be considered a quratt. They also explained what this word meant, but it is difficult for me to explain. But I know exactly what they meant in my heart of hearts. So, what you have said is completely true, judging from your popularity rating, I am no surprised! In my view, his parents should have tried to delay it, considering he is only 12.
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I might be wrong, but I honestly think, Sikhs should have their own banks. If all Sikhs deposited their money to their own banks, there is a huge chance they will become filthy rich. Invest and lend interest free money to only Sikhs, invest and lend. I know many Caucasians borrowing money from Islamic banks and converting their religion.