sikhni777

1 hour ago, simran345 said:

Lol, multitasking penji. Watch the thorka too. ?

Was besan pura penji. No joking around with turka. Its more sacred. LOL

Bad thoughts.  You loose 1000 points. Did you miss your rehras sahib today?

24 minutes ago, NonExistant said:

But what if i killed General Arunkumar Shridhar Vaidya or Indra Ghandi for what they did, would i be punished or praised?

Everyone's sins in God's eyes are different.  You have to do the right thing.  Just because of those 2 who did that to indira Gandhi the sikh com has had to pay an expensive price.

The debt on their heads is very big.

I meant to say all cases are different.  Some get forgiven completely some don't. 

Sorry.  all cases. I am actually cooking while replying.  when I quoteI ccan't backspace and rub out the mistakes.  So annoying. 

Just now, NonExistant said:

Its gurus choice how much kirpa he wants to give us. They can wipe all sins in an instant if they want.

Dhan dhan Guru ji. Sll cases All are different.

Every second we forget to say waheguru is considered bad as well. 

However you still have to pay for it. Gor instance you killed someone then took amrit. You will be forgiven but you will die a death of being killed in a similar manner  if you do loads of bhagti then it might be reduced to a dream. Its just like a prison.  If you are very good then your punishment is reduced.  However our sins are so many. In a day we commit thousands of them. 

40 minutes ago, NonExistant said:

Another question: Do all sins get erased when you take amrit?

Bhai Jagraj singh (Basics of Sikhi) said that they do. Is that true?

Sin can grt forgiven.

Where did you get this theory from?  Amrit is amrit. A person who has been born as a duck a thousand times before gets born as a person. 

If he keeps going on with sin.... he will be born as a duck again.

Do you get it? The emphasis here is to  stop sin. No one can judge the anmool daat which comes from amrit except Guru ji. Stop wasting time on useless things and do some naam simran please. 

10 minutes ago, S4NGH said:

"Singhni should look upon her husband as Parmeshwar". ?

I recall having read a sakhi, I am not sure it was mira bhai. The lady got married and in the night her husband asked for a glass of water and then fell asleep. I am not quite sure but I think he was not feeling too well. 

She stood all night with the glass of water in her hands. When her husband awoke in the morning she was still there with the glass in her hands. He was so pleased with her that his look upon her granted her immediate realisation - that means she got the powers to see what will follow next. The sakhi goes on to where Kabir Ji or somebody met her at a well and she refused to give him the water which she was pouring out from the well onto the ground.

When she finished he finally got a drink of water and he asked her why she was doing that. She replied that she was putting out a fire which had consumed a certain place. 

I will try to look for this sakhi and read it again and post it more accurately. Someone else who might have read it is most welcome to post it too.

9 hours ago, Guest Guest_Singh said:

I'm beginning to suspect that this is a troll.

There is an annoying trend to call everyone a troll. Someone could have a genuine problem. There was a bit of a post from somebody whose girl did show pics and things about her ex. So the guy took down all his stuff coz he was going to get legal advice. So this might be the same person. 

It is an unfortunate thing that we do not have people in the community to advice people on such important matters as marriage and relationships. Gossip and the fear of being a victim of it are greater than helping or giving anybody any good advice. 

Again it is upto OP to decide whether he wants to proceed with a rishta where the girl has not been  able to connect to him over the phone at all. 

Shy people cannot manage to live in a hostel alone.  Shy girls can talk on the phone.  Dhyness comes out in person.  You do not have to be told someone is shy. You are able to tell from the way they talk.

If a guy called me for that long I would a mess and want to tell him everything or at least be so excited.  I had a headhunter call me and a few texts had my emotions all in a mess. 

Therefore this is not normal ji. We don't want OP to get into the same problem.  He is the one who needs to decide from their response.  

The girl should have called to clarify things. Not mum to mum taking place. 

I think Baru sahib wale babaji teaches his students the same practice of sitting on the bed facing the pillow. perhaps it is the  best position for concentration.  If you lie down and do path  you will fall asleep before you finish.  Facing the bed might bring you other memories.  The pillow is where the wall is hence better concentration. 

On 18/12/2017 at 7:35 AM, Guest Guestz said:

thanks everyone for taking the time to read this, much appreciated!!!!

Will give a lil background on myself before i reply to the above answers:

I was married in India but found out after marriage the woman had affair/bf. Thankfully, she is still in India while I am back home, divorce will be finalized in a couple of months. The woman`s family said bring girl here and we will will leave you, I said no. So now looking for a "rishta".

To the answers now:

1. She is from pind but was in hostel of high school for 2-3 years in a big city and started university earlier this year so I expect her to be more open.

2. her mom answers for her usually and has been saying for the past 8 months girl is very shy and doesn't talk much. I am doing job and I hardly talk there...to the extent where my colleagues say I dont talk much. 

I call her multiple times every week and spend more than an hr talking to her, she answers when asked but doesn't ask me anything about me, this makes me think she is not interested. If I try to converse with her, I believe she can do likewise and make an effort to do so.  No-one can judge a person if they are silent.

I cannot meet her because there is false fir/case against us in India, we cannot go there.

3. She is around 18/19 yrs old and I am 25.it is unlikely she has a boyfriend but I cannot be sure, maybe she wants to study and feels time for marriage is not right yet? But she needs to speak, which she never does. Her mom called and said I haven't called them, my mum said I am not happy with whats happened and explained everything.

She said she gave the phone to her daughter and left the room and was not aware her daughter doesn't talk. Her mom asked her how was the call between us last week, she said "She didn't say anything so I didn't say anything" (I took this meaning that she did not talk therefore I did not ask". This implies she always spoke first and I spoke later/ answered her but this is incorrect. I always asked and spoke and this "blew my top", I was pretty unhappy.

At the same time, my parents are encouraging me to think openly, last time I agreed with my parent's request and got married when I felt the girl is not happy, it ended in disaster.

Overall, I believe no matter where the girl is from and what age she is, if she is interested she could have asked me questions. She hasnt even told me how happy she is with this, has never talked of our future and that she is looking forward to meeting me. I believe the time has come to move forward, any suggestions???

 

So you been married once before. Your parents do not know how to choose a girl for you. You have to be happy the first or second time you meet them. if they are not you will not have a good marriage.

Ask your parents to choose another girl for you. Go for a girl who is open with you and interested greatly. I am sure you are old enough to tell the difference. Tell your mum you dont want another mess like the last time. It is your life. Take your stand and dont be treated like a desperate to be married guy. 

make your life with the right girl. Dont waste your time with idiots. Go with your gut instinct. it is always right. Tell them you are not calling them. See if the girl comes out to apologise or not. Keep up you are doing the right thing. No ones parents should force them to marry.

Guru ji did cut off Ram Rai because of his stupid behaviour.  However he forgave him then in the dhasam roop. So if you feel cutting off with the person will help them get better you are allowed to do it. 

Just make it clear it is the deed yw hate not the person. 

My mum told me to just hang in there.  No two days are going to be the same. After a storm comes calm. Therefore I ignore the hard bits and look at the positive.  I only realise what I have is valuable when I hear what people don't have.  

My hubby does not drink, spend lavishly or beat me. Do there's the positive though he gives in to his mum too much. Mamas boy. 

I decided to live with that.  Well I do let my frustration out at times.  However I am kind to myself and buy myself a nice gift to console myself.  I'm just around a few more years, better make the most of it. No sukh in hopping from partner to partner.

So if your problem is not Infidelity, the rest is all in your mind. You are not looking at the positives.

Sorry my phone goes funny when I quote.

You can harm yourself trying to change some people esp. Some vizurg.

Simran bhanji said too you can't change others. You have to adapt in some cases.

12 minutes ago, MrDoaba said:

Why should people have to change themselves? There's a difference between having Daya and Nimrata and then bending to the will of anothers pakhand. People who dish out dukh without a shred of concern for others need to be taught a moral lesson. If one is being an Akirtghan then they need to be made aware of this.

You can change your mindset in accordance with Gurmat but there's no point changing yourself in a way which either directly or indirectly continues to condone such behaviour.

Sikhs do not sit around praying waiting for a miracle. We spread the knowledge of Gurmat, that's how change comes about.

Even those who are supposedly "cursed" can change, with the intervention of Gyaan.

Or should we just wait for Sant Ji to come and save the day?

Believe mw I have tried for twenty years... some people are truly meant to be horrible. You can harm upurself on yhe 

I remember when my mum in law was being difficult,  I called my mum and she told me... sorry puut... its time to go down humbly in ardaas to Guru ji. I did just that.  My mum in law hasn't changed but I got the strength to deal with her better.

You can't change people but you can change yourself.  Guru ji always gives people strength to cope. Ardaas is always answered.  Some people are cursed to always give dhukh to others. 

58 minutes ago, S4NGH said:

Wt f?? How'd youiseven leap to these conclusiohe?ns?? Cray cray! 

Seen enough of those right here In our family. If you are not happy with her before youindiwill never be happy with her ever. It does not take 7 months to take a girl to open up. Her mum supports her. The greed of INdians Is great. Remember Jaggi still not freed yet Is he?

She has her mind on someone else.  It is hard to just keep listening to someone.  She would be wanting to know about life here. She would be having many questions if she was interested in a future with you.  

She seems to be playing along only to give you the slip later on. Break it if you can. She's talking to someone else behind your back and her heart is with a desi but her parents want a better life for her. Forced marriage - it might work or she might become pakki get her boyfriend here and run off.  You are better off without her. Not worth the headache. 

Guru Har Rai Ji had opened a hospital specifically to look after the sick. This is an important seva as only the sick or when we are down and not feeling good- we all know how helpless we feel.  We can never quite forget the hope of our suffering being eliminated we get simply by seeing the doctor.  

Being in the health field can be draining too as you feel you are always giving and not getting.  However that is when you need to refresh yourself and remind yourself of the great importance of your seva. Do look after yourself too and give yourself good time.  Perform your simran daily for refreshment.

God is the giver. Even what we have to give to others has been given to us by the greatest giver of all. Vadha dhani is our Gobind. 

SGGS Ang 135

Anyone with half that avasta would be having the exact answers to all those questions.  If they have memorized banis they would know exactly which one yo recommend.