SikhInTheMaking

As requested, my story in detail:

So as I mentioned, during my younger years my mum had me involved in the gurdwara and I would probably go atleast once a week if not more. All the usual gurdwara trips and gurmukh camps used to be part of my normal life. I would play football with the lads from the gurdwara and would be active in social events. I am mona and whilst I reflect back and wish I had stuck with that crowd, I realise there was a part of me that felt like I didnt fit in (because I was mona). I naturally started hanging around with a different crowd which was all good at the time but I now realise that being around these people instilled some horrible traits within myself. We were very judgemental and got kicks from making fun out of others. I should probably also mention that my knowledge on sikhi was limited. I spent alot of time at the gurdwara but with no real understanding or connection to waheguru. 

We all came from similar households i.e. religious mothers / grandmothers but dads who drank heavily and as we grew in to our teens, drinking became natural. My first drink was with my dad. I then hit the age of 18 where I was at college. I was able to drink legally but I also started smoking weed. At the time, it was all about image. It was all about fitting in and what people perceived of me. I wanted to be seen as somebody tough to avoid being bullied (was bullied at a younger age). I managed to get through college and enrolled on to university where the weed addiction escalated. I had drifted away from the gurdwara and sikhi. A normal day for me was waking up at 11am, eat, work at my part time job and then evenings i would spend the money I had earned to smoke 3-4 spliffs and repeat again the next day. At this point in my life, something happened within our household which just made me spiritually sick for many years. A member of my family was groomed by muslims and everything around me fell apart. The dynamics in my family changed, relationships changed, we were receiving threats from muslims - I lost complete faith in everything and I lost all trust in everyone. This experience amplified my use of drinks and drugs. When I reached my last exam at uni, things had got so bad at home that I didnt want to go to my graduation and I had to get away from the city I live in. As an escape, I went to stay with my mama for 6 weeks in the US.

The first day I got there I just cried. Running away from my problems had not worked. However, I believe that trip was meant to happen as it brought me back to Sikhi. My mama is a gursikh and wears a dastaar and he showed me how powerful waheguru could be. He taught me values that I still live on with today and it was from there that I started to read in to sikhi again. I came back from the US and surprise surprise nothing had changed by me running away. My mama sent me home with a gutka sahib with english translation and one day I was so broken inside that I sat down and did paath looking for answers. It was an amazing experience. Everything that I had carried around for years felt like it had been lifted. I remember feeling a sensation inside of me which the only way I can describe it as is a light. I was beaming and felt like I had been lifted somewhere.

I started working to get by, but there was a complete lack of motivation as I still felt resentful about the hand I had been dealt. The money that I earned was spent on going out, buying bottles in clubs, drugs, women, stag dos and so on. I was still very conscious about my image as by now many people were aware of the problems at home so I felt I still had to show face and show that I was ready to battle with anyone who wanted it. I would fight alot and in a weird way get a kick out of it. As this lifestyle continued, I was introduced to cocaine. My reputation had grown with fighting and we were known as the go to people when you had trouble. Cocaine was something that only the 'top' lads used back then as its expensive and was not used like it is today. 

By this time, the people I had surrounded myself with were all dealers / club owners / 'rough' lads. Cocaine was so easily available to me and it quickly became a habit that grew on all of us. At first, it was just for fun, every now and again. It soon got to a point where it became a necessity after a drink. A typical night in the pub would be a few pints and countless bags of cocaine. We were doing this almost on a daily basis - thinking we were the top lads - LOL! makes me laugh now because its so far from what I believe a toplad is now. 

I can honestly say after a few years of living my life like this, this addiction brought me down on my knees. I had lost complete power and control over my drinking and using. I knew it, but I didnt know how to stop it. I would complete sober periods for maybe 1 or 2 months at maximum but it would never last. It was during this phase of my life that I started searching for help. I joined sikhsangat to see if there was people out there who were going through similar situations in our community. Through sikhsangat, my attention refocused on sikhi. I started watching a lot of basics of sikhi videos which really helped but they alone could not keep me sober. i was able to stay sober for longer but would always end up back on here feeling suicidal and looking for someone else to fix me. 

I eventually lost myself again and stopped using this site. I spent many years searching for answers and stuck in this cycle. I was up to my eyes in debt, and I was dead inside. I wanted the cycle to end and thought the only way would be to end my own life. I couldnt live with this powerlessness. I couldnt live with being such a disappointment and hurting everyone around me. Then one morning after a heavy night on drink and drugs, I had rang in sick to work (this was normal for me). I had enough. I searched for help online and found myself on the alcoholics anonymous page. I was so ashamed of reaching out to them that when they rang me back I ignored their calls and luckily they persisted and rang back the next day. This is where my journey to recovery started.

Im not on here to preach about Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) but my story is that this programme worked for me. There is one thing that I think has been my saviour in all of this. In AA, they say that you need to have a higher power of your own understanding - for me, this was waheguru. Everyday I would do mool mantar in the morning, meditate , do a gratitude and inventory list (as the programme advises). I truly believe that without me bowing down to waheguru in the morning and handing myself over to waheguru, I would not be here today.

Today, my life is completely different. I am married and have a loving and caring wife, I have relationships with people around me that addiction had taken away from me, I am spiritually connected to waheguru, I have cleared all my financial debts and I have a successful job and career which I excel in. These are all things that in addiction, I never believed I could have. With wahegurus kirpa, everything I wished for came true. 

I hope this helps someone out there. I am here to help others suffering now with wahegurus backing.

Message me anytime  

Hi All,

I'll try to keep this brief but I'm basically posting this for those in need of help in relation to alcohol/drugs/addiction with the aim of helping those in need.

My story in a nutshell:

I grew up in your typical punjabi cultured family. My mum has always been spiritual and dad has always been a drinker. My mum had me going to the Gurdwara from a young age and the knowledge has always been instilled within me. Unfortunately, as I grew older my crowd changed. I did well in terms of achieving a degree and a good job but I had also drank heavily during my uni years and started using drugs. My life turned upside down whilst I was stuck in this and I couldn't find or see a way out. I was emotional spiritually and financially dead.

I was searching for help and didn't know where to go. A few years back I found sikhsangat online and started posting on here with the hope that I could find some answers and guidance to get myself spiritually connected again and remove myself from the darkness. Many people helped me on here but unfortunately that alone was not enough to keep me sober. 

Yesterday I logged on to here after 3-4 years off this site. I logged on because I wanted to help others out there who are suffering. I am sober, clean and could not have asked for a better life. Im still in disbelief at times that I managed to turn my life around. Everything is possible with waheguru in your heart.

Couple of things I just wanted to say to the users on this forum:

Thank you for all your help and guidance when I was on here before. This site saved my life and pulled me out of suicidal states many times. People on here gave me hope and pointed me in the direction of waheguru. Without any of that, I would not be where I am today.

If your struggling with any sort of addiction, please reach out to me and message me. There is help for everyone out there. Everything will remain anonymous if you wish. Equally, if your confident sharing your identity, I am in the midlands area and can meet up to talk, help and give guidance. 

You might ask yourself why am I doing this? i'm doing this to give back to people the same way people gave to me in my hour of need. There is no costs and no judgement.

I hope that I can be of service to those in need - I would be happy to give you my story in more detail so you can identify and realise that your not alone.

Waheguru 

Hi Everyone,

Just wanted to know what are you supposed to think about when you say waheguru or are simran? Should we focus on the word waheguru? or should we have an image of our gurus in mind? I usually picture guru nanak dev ji in my head but then I think to myself I should be picturing all the gurus.

Whats your lots opinions on this?

15 hours ago, puzzled said:

i mean what happens if you end up marrying someone from a different profession lol?    i never understood this 

Then the whole world would fall out of balance and we all die

This is a good example of why apneh are drifiting from Sikhi ..... The guy has come on here for help and most people are taking shots at him and judging him. Ive noticed that certain gursikhs feel as if there above everyone else (especially when it comes to moneh).  The OP isnt even a mona and most people have already put this barrier up when talking to him. Hes done wrong no doubt but should that mean we turn our backs and instead take the P and judge him? We all need to work together to keep people on the right track and into Sikhi. Some people are further in their journey with Sikhi, some people are caught up in maya but my point is we shouldnt judge. Work together and help each other 

Message to OP - Noone can question what type of Sikh you are, only waheguru. 

Whats the deal with these jathas? why are peeps worshipping the jathas and not our guru granth, our eternal guru, the only guru we need ...

My point wasnt about the white jag, it was more about the jatha in general. I just find the whole jatha very theatrical with the guy on the keyboard in the back and the chants and movements in sync with each other..... pretty sure our gurus didnt have a keyboard and a mic with an echo effect to make them sound more godly - they just seemed very fake to me. I know im gonna offend people by saying that but i honestly felt like i was being deceived by all these special effects etc 

When someone sits there telling you to forget your worldly possessions and stop trying to impress each other by competing with cars money houses etc. and then have a car like that outside its very hypocritical 

Good questions, dont want to sound like a hater but I went to see these guys at a programme they did at my local gurdwara - funny thing is they were talking about maya and attachment and money etc - but as im leaving the gurdwara they have a white Jaguar XJ brand new parked up outside with the number plate "NKJ" - made me question and doubt the jatha

The gurus were the human form of god. Waheguru came to earth in the form of light within the gurus themselves - Someone correct me if im wrong because im no expert 

Also ive been told waheguru is everywhere and in everything 

I’ve seen a gurdwara gym on Facebook somewhere. The gym is an extension to the gurdwara and you have to cover your head and have pictures of shaheeds all over. I think it’s somewhere in Birmingham but I think this is a really good idea. I would deffo go to the gym and gurdwara together and I think this would be a good way to get people to attend the gurdwara too. I can see a lot of lads giving up their drinking sessions to become more health conscious and we could use this as a tool to get people to the gurdwara. Problem with this is that we would have to convince the committees to make it in the first place. 

Committees are at fault too but we been playing the blame game too long. Everyone blames each other and nothing gets done. Its time we forget whos fault it is and step up and take action, be more proactive in the matter. Take it upon ourselves to approach the committees and ask if them if you can advertise or encourage the youth in activities that will keep them away from going out on Friday/Saturday nights. I cant speak for all the gurdwaras but the Gurdwara I go to had this organisation that organised all this. (I wont say which one because I want to stay anonymous) but basically it was lead by 1 main guy and its still running now but the numbers have declined and its more of his own friend circle now lol I remember as kids we used to Gurdwara and he would be encouraging everyone to get involved in the activities and sports he would organise. In terms of actually getting the youth to the gurdwara, this is where im not sure what to do. People only usually start going Gurdwara again when they fall on hard times, as was the case for me.