LightofNaam

On 06/12/2017 at 5:15 PM, Guest BaldeepSingh said:

Dear Sangaath Ji,

I am a member of this forum, but I cannot write under my user name; out of shame! I have been married for quiet few years, and like any other marriage it has it's ups and downs, but since last summer things gone really bad. My wife been having an affair with her work colleague, where she works. We have two lovely boys together, but this is making me very, very distressed, it's beyond belief and on two different occasions i even tried to kill myself!! I really do not know what to do. She did admit the affair, but i cannot see myself living with her anymore. She has been exchanging filthy, dirty messages on Whastapp with a guy for the last 7 months, even had an abortion and I cannot just forgive her. My parents are telling me to divorce her. I really do not know what is going to happen, but please remember me and my childrens in your prayers because I am suicidal!! 

Go and see a counseller it's very important 

6 hours ago, simran345 said:

Admin/Mods can you delete the quoted post, and give the poster a warning. Take this kind of advice off, thanks. 

Everybody else that's busy writing on other posts, carry on, as obviously you don't care that this advice is wrong.  Suteh peye reho.?

 

Anyone on here who's having a tough time, see a counseller. 

If you're from the UK contact your local IAPT service. 

17 hours ago, Guest Singhni said:

WJKK WJKF 

Thank you everyone for taking time out to reply. I really do appreciate it. Our kids are VERY young yet oldest just starting to say a few words. So although ive started teaching the elder 2 Gurbani,  doing simran together etc there is only so much I can do yet because they are so young and lack understanding or focus (lol). Kirtan is played all day so I only hope it will have a positive effect on them. It is like you guys described it it almost feels havibg a physical relationship is deemed wrong and something that ruins your mere attempt and trying to be Gursikh. Im one of those people that have a habit of 'all or nothing' - i rather have no physical relation and be or try to focus 100% on sikhi. or find if i have to have physical relation then it lessens my quality as a Gursikh. How do u balance a loving relationship and try to make Guru ji/sikhi the centre point? Any thoughts id love to hear more from the penji who said she has kids and 'twice my age'?

I just feel im living 3 different lives - wife, mum and a pathetic excuse of a Gursikh. Even still I find im probably more attuned in sikhi when im with our kids because we jap Naam together, listen to Gurbani, more Sikhi related activities etc but with my husband - although hes great reads Gurbani, lacks strict Nitnem and Amritvela but does his best with raul duty and does a lot of sewa I just find he "starts it" - sorry to sound childish but like he will start the request for physical relation and if i say no he will say its not wrong in sikhi to have such relation...(please note there is no forcibg etc we love each other and theres no problem like that)  and then it goes on from that. its like i feel my jeevan in focusing on sikhi or Bani lessens when in the Sangat of my husband (sorry if i sound harsh) - i would never say this to him because i love him and i cant say no because i feel sorry for him like he works real hard all day and if he finds comfort in spending time with me and helps him chill surely thats my duty as a wife right? i just feel like am going round in circles. please also note my husband is great with our kids like he'll tie their dastars, read Bani while playing with them etc. he just has a high physical relation demand...and i feel my jeevan suffers even though i have some part to play....

thank u guys - helping me take a lot off my mind right now...

There isn't anything wrong with a physical relationship in marriage. As long as you love each other. Just make sure it's love that's the force involved. Expressing your love to your spouse isn't bad. It's going overboard that's where we get lost in lust. Just keep it loving and as an expression of your love and union. 

18 hours ago, Singh2017 said:

VJKK VJKF

Veerji/Penji (forgive me Ji I don't know who I'm speaking to), notice how I've quoted everything I got straight from bani. These are the wise words of Guru Sahib - not me. Just how Guru Harkrishan Sahib Ji made Chajju a mere water carrier, all knowing of the Bhagavad Gita; Guru Granth Sahib Ji give moorakhs like me giann and anything I say of any value is all because of his kirpa and giann alone (not that I have any at all). I could be 17 or 71 - Maharaj's bani is timeless and has infinite effect on everyone no matter how old we are Ji. I have none of my own words to say, only Maharaj's so the true wisest being is Guru Ji. I appreciate your comment has come from a loving place and I hope I haven't said anything to hurt you Ji. Maaf karna Ji. 

Vaheguru Ji.

Lol true. And good of you to attribute it to Him. 

Many speak of gurbani and say that it's our own doing. We are fools n we can do nothing. He's the only giver n doer. 

23 hours ago, Guest Guest said:

Thanku sangat ji for ur valuable response. But i want to discuss that i want to do simran and path to get apology from waheguru ji. But whenever i do i feel m not deserving to do path. I feel like i have lost my sikhi and waheguru ji will not accept me now. I just want my waheguru ji's love back. I cant live with this thought that i am a sinner and now waheguru ji will not love me again . It is a curse for me ?

He forgives all sins. Like the serial killer Sajan Thug who became one of Guru Nanak Jis Bhagats. The prostitute Ganika was also saved, who knows how many misdeeds she committed. 

Be truly sorry for what u did, ask for forgiveness,  he's already forgiven u. And make sure u never ever make the same mistake again. Adultery is a Huge Crime in His Court.

Apologize to yourself also, we are temples of Truth, u disrespected yourself, the precious life He blessed u with, u disrespected badly his poor wife who you should have considered as your Sister. U should apologize to her in your heart. Although she has a right to know what her husband did. If I were in your shoes as her sister, I would tell her because if my husband did that I would want to know.

And u didn't treat the guy as your brother (he's already married so not an option for u). We should see all except our spouse as brothers sisters mothers n father

Accept your mistakes. Don't associate with the guy, he's probably not sorry for what he did and may try and encourage you to do the same rubbish again. Not worth losing your soul over and hurting his wife over and over again. If u don't have compassion for her, you may never know what it's like for your husband to cheat on u. I saw my mum go through it and it can cause so much chaos and incredible long term pain. 

Respect yourself and others, be compassionate towards others, don't be selfish and don't mess up again. The biggest misdeed u did here was doing this to the guys wife, that's where u should be most sorry. 

Telling her is and facing the consequences is the right thing to do rather than wallowing in self pity over having relations and ruining your integrity. 

Then forget the past, move on and forward with your life and spirituality. Be a good soul. 

On 06/12/2017 at 2:14 PM, Singh2017 said:

VJKK VJKF

Penji, I'm only 17 so I don't much about husband and wife relationships however I can advise about something you've said. I'm not having a go or anything; I'm just trying to correct Maharaj's bani. You said that Sri Guru Gobind Singh Ji said to increase your relation everyday between each other everyday. This is true, but vague. The pankti you are referring to is a Shabad that Sri Guru Tegh Bahadur Ji ouchaar to Sri Guru Gobind Singh Ji. They say to Maharaj "Son, (increase) love/care for your wife daily but don't go to another woman's bed in your dreams". They don't say increase your sexual relations with your wife daily - but the love. Kaam can be invoked by love as well but the love is the main source. Love your husband (and vice versa) and increase that love so much that you don't rely on Kaam to feel as intimate with him but just seeing him is enough. Love is also the way to Waheguru as Sri Guru Gobind Singh Ji says as well "Everyone listen, I speak the truth that whoever loves god - only they will obtain/find Waheguru" so the love increased between two Amritdharis daily is bound to harbour a place for Waheguru in your married life as you both were blessed Amrit so both your aims in life are both to reach Waheguru and eventually you will get your destination of this human life as Sri Guru Arjan Dev Ji says "Now is your turn to meet Waheguru (in this human life)" the more love you build up for each other and Waheguru. There's nothing wrong with sexual relations between 2 married persons but anything done out of proportion is detrimental. Guru Nanak Dev Ji tells us that walking this path of Sikhi is "Iike the sharp edge of a sword" and so going over the top with Kaam, even with your spouse, can have effects on the bigger picture. Hope this helps Ji. Forgive me for the mistakes I've made because I've made countless. 

Vaheguru Ji.

 

 

How are you only 17?

Wise words. I always say the love needs to overpower the lust.

Experience the person's heart before u have relations with the person. 

On 01/12/2017 at 10:36 PM, kcmidlands said:

Sorry Big_Tera, a fascist is a fascist, doesn't matter how good their marketing and PR has gotten, this idea that they've changed and are only against muslims now is just as wrong as them being against people of colour.

If they said they were against extremism regardless of race or religion it would be one thing but they don't, there's plenty of extremism in the christian community but they ain't saying anything, they are fascists, plain and simple, and this idea that they have praise for Sikhs, they know that Sikhs have battled with Moghuls in the time of the Guru's and made the assumption that Sikhs are the natural enemy of Muslims because of this, someone should send them a press release and tell them that it's actually injustice that Sikhs are against, not any particular religion.

Ah this post is perfect

On 29/11/2017 at 8:06 PM, Big_Tera said:

Why not? 

Sure we may not agree with everything they say or do. But we certainly agree with alot of their points as I have mentioned. 

Also they may have some unsavoury members but there are fruitcakes in all political parties. 

Why Should we be against them when they 

Openly stand against

1) uncontrolled/illegal muslim migration to uk

2)forced conversions/grooming

3)islamification of britian

4)against implementing sharia law in uk

ect ect

Whats not to like about these policies?

We should show our support and be grateful that this group has the courage to voice the nations concerns.

Britian First which used to be the BNP has moved on. They now know the real threat is muslims. 

They have nothing against the hardworking Indian community of Sikhs and Hindus. Infact they respect us and know the difference between us and Muslims. 

All Sikhs and Hindus should vote for them. As the tory and labour goverments are taking us down the pan. 

 

 

And how about when they turn on Sikhs and brown people. Then what. 

On 29/11/2017 at 4:00 PM, Big_Tera said:

Should Sikhs support this group. 

They seem to have many valid points. 

Ie they talk about islamic extreemism in uk. Forced conversions, grooming ect which many of the uk partys are to afraid to talk about. 

Maybe would could form an alliance with them at the same time keeping our distance. 

I actually feel ms fransen says alot of things that make sence. Its the only group that is taking on the extreemists in the uk as they feel that the msin partys are doing nothing. 

Read their Wikipedia profiles. 

Be careful. Many Germans still firmly believe that Hilter was good for their country, that he Improved the country so much and they applaud many of his policies other than the murder of Jews. 

Just because someone speaks about something u want them to, does mean the other side isn't wrong. Most of these parties are great for the development of a country and policies. 

To curtain their sinister at times awful and horrific main agendas. 

I just had a day (yesterday until early this morning) where He arranged every single detail so intricately and so perfectly that the things I needed to do worked out so well.. It was nothing short of a miracle. The odds of me getting through yesterday and doing what I was supposed to do were extremely low and I was shocked it actually worked out. 

When I came home I lay on the floor with hands folder and thanked him, I couldn't thank Him enough. 

Most of us have no idea how fortunate we are for So Many things that we take for granted. In the hereafter, we'll understand. 

23 hours ago, Guest Blue_sapphire said:

My friend who is 20 years old and is in the 3rd year of college just got fired from her part time job as a store clerk because she blown off her shift for the third time in a row despite two previous warnings. Now she told me she plans to make an accusation against her former boss who is a Sikh that he sexually assaulted her (which is not true) as a way of getting revenge. She did not know I recorded her telling me her plan but I am not sure where to go from here. 

Any advice?

Tell her u recorded it and you'll tell whoever you need to.

This is a no Brainer. Anyone with a normal conscience would do that. 

1 hour ago, simran345 said:

I did start a thread on main contact details, and asked for them to be pinned somewhere, but it's not be listened to. 

 

Thanks hope they do it. 

Admin once again, posting details for kids like these would be a great seva. Please can you put stickies with info of organizations that they can speak to?

Can admin please post these contact details as stickies wherever u can, so many people come on with similar issues and need the above orgs help. 

12 hours ago, singhbj singh said:

Bhein ji you Must contact

http://www.sikhhelpline.com

https://www.sikhhelpline.com.au

http://www.sikhfamilyhelpline.com

They can guide you in best possible way.

Will do Ardas for your well being just hang in there 

 

Listen to him. 

You need counselling. I've been in a similar place. Trust me, you're mind is just deluding you. Seeing a counseller and contacting the above^^^ will change your life. Do it now ok. Make an account and message anyone including me on here. 

You'll be OK and you Can be happy again. 

2 hours ago, Big_Tera said:

I have always wondered what is the fascination with Dubai and the united arab emirates.

I hear so many desi people go on about this place like it is some mecca. 

When all it is essentially is a place that discriminates against non muslims and bans them from building their own places of worship. except for a make shift house or other building that does not reaemble their faith. 

So apart from that whats to love about this place?

?

Lol fair enough. There are worse countries in the Gulf that I've lived in though. I'm moving there for work. 

16 minutes ago, chatanga said:

 

I would avoid those sikh organisations like the plague. They are hardcore darshan rogi chelas there and they have also started amrit sinchar without Dasam Banis.

Lol oh no. Thanks for letting me know 

Thankyou

Hi, I was wondering if there are any sikhs on here who live in Dubai? 

I'm looking to move there soon and would like to speak to or meet other Sikhs (when I get there). 

Also does anyone know any Sikh organisations and groups I could join?

21 hours ago, Guest Jatinder said:

About 2 years ago if you had met my friend (who I’ll just call singh) you would have thought he Is your average good looking, popular and misbehaving lustful teenage boy. Singh shocked us all recently by leaving all the popularity from girls and abandoning his good looks to becoming an amritdhari singh, so I thought. Sangat ji I’m not amritdhari, nor keshdari but I have respect for guru Jis image. Singh and I before used to chase after girls and go out to party’s, even though the party’s have stoped, he is still talking to girls.

true, girls come and talk to him first but it’s so obvious that he is flirting back. He talks to so many girls in a flirty way and they always give him attention vice versa. I just recently went on his phone in sixth from and he’s been talking to this one girl on Snapchat a lot. He still does his nitnem and wakes up amritvela, but his habit of talking to girls hasn’t gone.

Sangat ji, please tell me how I can advise him, I don’t want him slipping off the path, I know it’s funny coming from me (a person who isn’t on the path in the first place) but I don’t want him to leave Sikhi over girls, as I have seen this happen in my own family. How can I advise him to stay away from girls, when they are the ones who come and talk to him first or comment on his looks. I’ve known Singh all my life, I don’t want to offend him in anyway.

Please help

A guy who takes amrit isn't abandoning his good looks. That's a silly comment to make. 

If you know the moderators maybe you can ask, or can I ask moderators if you could put a section up on here. 

So many people struggle to find work, it's a necessity to fulfill basic needs like food water n housing.  

I think it would be the most amazing seva. 

I love how you post job opportunities on here

Why isn't there a job posting section on this site yet? That would be such a great seva. 

8 hours ago, Akalifauj said:

Are you saying God sat in silence to discover who he is?

Lol He discovered He was Truth. And wants us to discover the Same. 

Is there any sikh organisation that helps kids like this? It's a serious issue, the way the child has spoken reflects the severity of it. 

There must be a professional sikh counselling service? 

On 01/12/2017 at 1:18 AM, Guest Help said:

Guys I'm falling off the path so badly. It was going so well and everything was so good and now even the basics are just so hard someone please help me I'm starting to feel suicidal because if I don't have sikhi then Id rather be dead I can't control my mind from panj Chor anymore the nitnem is just about getting dont get Anand from naam or bani anymore I can't fight or anything anymore it's much worse than just two points help me please 

Go and see a counseller immediately. It's very important. Many say they can deal with problems alone but we're very fortunate to have counsellers and psychiatrists who can talk us through things and professionally help us to heal. 

Alot of Sikhs fall and rise again and you probably don't hear about it. Don't beat yourself up about it, the past is the past. 

Ask for forgiveness and u are forgiven, He loves us unconditionally and just because we may not recognize His presence, he is always right here, staring us straight in the face, 24/7. He hears Every prayer we make whether loud or quiet. 

Admit your shortcomings and give up your stress(fears). Relax, breathe, go for a walk in nature, go for a swim, a massage and de-stress. But most importantly Go and see a COUNSELLER.