Sundeep

I hear what you are saying, and i am trying to kep it as broad as possible so yes maybe I should state which group this is intended for. I must say though just because Sikhi says Sikhs should not drink, do drugs and other things does not mean it is not happening and yet many of these people are claiming in the public eye to be the truest and most devoted Sikh there is. I do not wish to tarnish the name of those who are true and setting us all a great example hence it being finctional story as I can add some of this in but slowly I have some really surprising responses........ shocking, disturbing and know from the way words are spoken that so much more is hidden. It is not just Sikhs who are not practising but also Sikhs who are devout and feel have been a victim or such disguting behaviour. I myself knew a person when I was a teen who was led to belive she was doing some kind of sewa in giving a member of the Pathi sexual favours. She would come back to her friends beaming at what such a good deed she was doing. She was a devout Sikh and therefore trusted some authority in the Gudwara and fell victim. There are cases of Gudwara leaders being jailed for accusations which they did not do because some people set them up due to politics and it was a way in which one could get them out of the way, accuse them of child abuse and the leader is gone. So that is just as sick and abusive to others so I am not just looking at one point perspective. I wish to gain different opinins and views via others sharing thier experince and stories. I now of a women who has now passed away, so God rest her soul, butin the public eye she claimed to be perfect to all and sociable but she has had many family scandels and yet it is all hushed up.... it is sicking to think of what she as a woman who is supposed to nurture her community which looked up to her. There was alcohol, abortions, abuse of other kinds involved too.... so you tell me what are we supposed to do, turn a blind eye and trust its all ok... if we can not see it it is not happening right!!!??? wrong and I am having more people gai a little courage to come forward and trust me when i say if you were to hear their words you would now if their story was fake or not.... the pain and shock and some still suffer in silence for their parents sake when many times it is the parents casuing more grief to their child.. There are many side effects to this, socially, psychologically, physically and in ways I had not even imagined before.... its is breaking down the family unit, breaking trust, security issues within the home and so much other destruction. A great deal is intertwined but I shall say I have kept in mind your view and suggestion to my approach. Thanks. Sunny

I do not think it is right to blame Sikhs in the UK... I have lived in Canada for many years and have seen more disgusting behaviour there..... a higher proportion running around with guns thinking they are hard and trendy, behaviong like gagstas............ prostitues, strip clubs... you name it i have heard of Sikhi boys bragging about it.... fighting because they have a large dgroup of people and so think its fun to beat uo some innicent person just because he is black or some other reason...... In cars carrying cowbars, hockey sticks and baseball bats just incase there is an opportunity for fun......... drug deals.............. what more.................? all need to be responsible for our actions it is not just one place or another...

I agree with you, I culd see why the Muslim girls are generally seen to be more decent in regards to flaunting themselves. Or not flaunting themselves... not to say all but the general impression.... Some Sikh/Indian girls in England have gone beyond decent and in good taste, I am from England and was shunned for not wanting to go to the daytime gigs and have a boyfirend and go tout drinking... I was called many names and felt harrassed by my own people for not wishing to partake in these so called fun activities whilst one should have been at college studying. I am writing a fictional book, and at present gathering information about abuse inflicted on children, women and men in our society. I am asking for voluneers to share any experience, stories they know or of places I could get in touch with directly. I am nothing more than a women, wife , mother, who wishes to help some people who are silenced an expected to remain in silence and feeling their pain alone. I wish to write this book to let those people know, even if they can not speak out, that some of us will speak to them to tgive them courage and strenth to get through their daily lives. I am looking for people to contact me direct at sunnyisalso@hotmail.com All information is confidential, only I will be reading it, if you request I do not contact you again I shall send a message of thanks and let the rest be upto you. I understand this is a dificult topic and need help for our Sangat to bring light into the lives of our sisters and brothers and those youngeters in our community who are not able to speak out. There is a group one can also join. sikhyourvoice@yahoogroups.com Thanks for you time... I hope some of you find it in your heart to help me if you can to help those who need our help.

Before you read this message this project is not aimed to place blame on anyone but to help those who have been in need of help, are in need of help or even God forbid will need help..... I am working on a fictional book based on Sikh women/men who have been abused and the impact it has made on their life. My aim is to make more people within the Sikh community and others aware of how abuse is often ignore by the family members and often the blame is placed on the wrong person, usually the one who was abused, or sometimes plain denial of it even happening. I wish to see if I can include as many facets of the problem as possible such as psychological damage, effect on education, physical damage, self-abuse, possible pregnancy, further abuse from others, other social issues within and outside of the family unit, and so on... From my research for my book I have been asked to also work on a workbooked aimed at giving aid workers a greater insight into the cultual and social issues within the Sikh community so they can give our women and men who need help a more helpful and sensitive serivce. I am aware of the sensitivity of the topic and how I will have to handle this issue with some tenderness, compassion and consideration. I hope to gain more insight from different sources to present a realistic, informative yet sensitive interpretation of ones life as the abused person within a Sikh family. I wish to highlight the importance of no longer ignoring such issues within the Sikh community. I ask you all to share any information you can. A personal experience, an experience you know of, an organization, other like minded Sikh activists. I aim to gain a better understanding of the challenges we face in giving the best help to those in our community who are suffereing in silence, suffering because they spoke out or suffering because they are still not sure what to do. I would like to make it very clear that it will be written as a fictional story and only fictional characters will be used throughout the story. I am aware of how important confidentiality is in this context and would only use material as a way to gather an accurate insight into the abused person's world, any behaviour patterns such as turning to drugs, exsessive drinking, sexual relations, self abuse and many other self destructive ways in which people behave in an attempt to escape the torture of memories and experience of the abuse they endured. If anyone has had or knows anyone who has had such an experience I would appreciate them getting in touch with me and I promise discretion, respect for privacy and confidentiality. You can contact me directly at sunnyisalso@hotmail.com and if you are interested you can join the Sikh group "Sikh Your Voice" at sikhyourvoice@yahoogroups.com http://groups.yahoo.com/group/sikhyourvoice/ Your voice needs to be heard, problems in our community need attention. Some sisters and brothers in pain need our compassion and help, please help me to make the best of this project. Consider giving a little help as a kind of sewa to your people. Thanks for your time and consideration. Looking forward to your reply Sunny Kaur Dhaliwal