Tarrandeep Kaur

lions are meant to eat meat, they're carnivores. dogs are also meant to eat meat. its part of their diet, yeah u can just give them roti, but they wont be as big and strong. actually ive changed my mind, if u can avoid feeding your dog meat then this is best because you dont wanna be handling the meat etc. but if you do feed it meat i wouldnt say its 'anti gurmat'

yeah them spiders are scary, im stikin to wat i sed...dogs are the best

image removed- reason - picture is too gr8 for public veiwing

Get a natural shampoo normal brands have to many chemicals in it which might be causing the problem, i use one called naked which is 97% natural and it works better than any other shampoo ive tried. if your skins dry use a good moisturiser as opposed to oil because it absorbs into your skin better. Also applying oil to your hair all the time can make it weak because your over conditioning it and it also loses its natural oils so cut back on that a lil bit.

i use that shampoo aswel.........smells sooo nice :lol:

leh how are pets anti gurmat?

dogs are the best, especially akitas :D

jwghu jwghu sUiqho cilAw vxjwrw ]1] rhwau ]

Wake up! Wake up! O sleepers, see that the travelling merchant is leaving. ||1||Pause||

nIq nIq Gr bWDIAih jy rhxw hoeI ]

Go ahead and build your houses, if you think you will stay here forever and ever.

ipMfu pvY jIau clsI jy jwxY koeI ]2]

The body shall fall, and the soul shall depart; if only they knew this. ||2||

vahigurooo :pray:

Dear _PCOS_

wiked post. people like you really make me see how beautiful sikhi is.

:BOW:

Im sorry if it seemed i judged the original poster. Listen to _PCOS_, get in contact with her, and her sangat should help.

vahiguroooo

gurfateh jee.

i knew this was coming lol, i no its wrong but look at what shes said...

people can say mroe and more to just accept it , its hukam...they can show me as many gurbaani thukhz as they can it will only make me feel worse as its just emphasizing the side of it where im doing so much paap of removing it! They will never understand how it is only those who have the problem will

gurmat obviously isnt helping her which is why im suggesting something else im sorry if ive offended you

again please think before you type. How can you say gurmat isnt helping her. She isnt even following gurmat so how would you know. If anyone follows gurus teachings, they are saved. You cant go wrong with gurujee by your side, but you need to turn to him for support not rely on manmat ways.

Anyway im not gonna say anything else, im sure deep down the this penji knows what she has to do.

xxKaurxx,

I'm sorry but this is just wrong;

<<<In terms of your hair i think laser treatment its a good route to take since nothing else has worked for you. I use to know a girl with a similar problem and after 6 months it sorted it out and i know some people are going to say dont do it but to be honest if this is getting you depressed then what other option do have you need to be comfortable with yourself in order to have a bit of confidence.>>>>

I respect you and everythink, but im sorry you cannot post something like this on a SIKH forum. When sikhi clearly forbids removal of the hair. Its nice that you;ve taken your time to reply to the original poster but please use gurmat principles to help her. She seems pretty down, even though shes havin the laser treatment. Which suggests...she nees to follow another route.....

vahigurooooooooooo

suix nwh pRBU jIau eyklVI bn mwhy ]

Hear me, O my Dear Husband God - I am all alone in the wilderness.

ikau DIrYgI nwh ibnw pRB vyprvwhy ]

How can I find comfort without You, O my Carefree Husband God?

Dn nwh bwJhu rih n swkY ibKm rYix GxyrIAw ]

The soul-bride cannot live without her Husband; the night is so painful for her.

nh nId AwvY pRymu BwvY suix bynµqI myrIAw ]

Sleep does not come. I am in love with my Beloved. Please, listen to my prayer!

bwJhu ipAwry koie n swry eyklVI kurlwey ]

Other than my Beloved, no one cares for me; I cry all alone in the wilderness.

vahiguroooooooooooo vahigurooooooooooooooo vahigurooooooooooooo vahigurooooooooooooooo vahiguroooooooo

vahigurooooooooooo vahigurooooooooooo vahiguroooooooooooo vahigurooooo

Im sorry, I know your all going to go mad at me, but frankly i dont care. These sort of posts are really annoying me now. This stuff shouldnt be on a sikhsangat forum. Its just wrong.

To the original poster, you made the choice to have this sort of physical relationship, now sorry to be harsh, but these are the consequences. This is kaam, your 'girlfriend' isnt satisfied and wants to go else where. Do you really think this is true love?

I suggest you spend some time having a think of what life is really about. Girls will come and go, relationships fall apart, to experience true love look deep inside you, and find that piaar for mahraj.

AMqir vsqu mUVw bwhru Bwly ]

Deep within the self is the secret, but the fool looks for it outside.

mnmuK AMDy iPrih byqwly ]

The blind self-willed manmukhs wander around like demons;

ijQY vQu hovY iqQhu koie n pwvY mnmuK Brim BulwvixAw ]7]

but where the secret is, there, they do not find it. The manmukhs are deluded by doubt. ||7||

Awpy dyvY sbid bulwey ]

He Himself calls us, and bestows the Word of the Shabad.

mhlI mhil shj suKu pwey ]

The soul-bride finds intuitive peace and poise in the Mansion of the Lord's Presence.

nwnk nwim imlY vifAweI Awpy suix suix iDAwvixAw ]8]13]14]

O Nanak, she obtains the glorious greatness of the Naam; she hears it again and again, and she meditates on it. ||8||13||14||

this is a seriosu question and i hope the mods keep this thread, so at the risk of souding repetitive( for the gupt section) here it is:

i keep a dastaar and i have all of my hair but since ive been engaged I have been feeling insecure about my bodily hair, I know that girsl have hair as well as boys ( moreso in south asian women, Italian , etc) but I feel as if its excessive on my legs etc..

ive discussed this with my fiancée and he says that he is fine with it, I think its because he hasn't seen rally how much it is and he probably thinks its not much wen its most likely as much as he has, im pretty sure it is as much as his.

This makes me feel really insecure and sad and the reason I even posted here is because sometimes I feel that this will interfere in a lot of things after marriage and it is that serious of an insecurity/problem with me.

I t makes me feel ashamed and less feminine and I don't feel comfortable with him seeing me or even feeling my legs etc..especially when ihave as much as him on my legs im sure and that makes me feel like im not feminine and it makes me feel bad.

So I pose a question to the male population on sikhsangat, what would you say if your fiancée said she had as much hair as you, would you seriously want her to keep it or would it feel weird,be a turn off for you? I need to know this I guess because for some reason I cant believe that my fiancée could feel that it was actually a good thing that I had so much hair and that it was attractive..some of you may say if you have it on your body you have it on your face etc too and he accepts that but I don't have as much on my face ( I used to do things to get it removed before I came into sikhi) and so I think he thinks that it might not be much hair on my body either when it really is..

Hopefully some mature and serious answers can be given…

:6 tell him not to feel your legs then :umm:

but yeah like peacemaker said, i respect you for not deciding to alter your hair on your body, and keeping it all in tact. Your fiance obviously doesnt have a problem with it, so you shouldnt either. i dont think you even need to tell him, i doubt he'll even see it as an issue. if a singh decided not to marry someone on the basis of the bibi having a bit of extra kesh, then what does that say about the singh?

gurfateh jee

Recently there have been alot of posts by youth showing the problems they're going through, from relationship problems, to running away, to suicide thoughts, self harming, family problems...etc. You get the idea. Is there some sort of organisation for the youth to go to for professional advice and help? Because in these situations its important they get the right help. Or maybe some sort of website should be set up with contact details of where they can get help.

I was just thinking about it, because i also know a few people personally who have been going through a rough time, but find it hard to get help and speaking to people they can trust.

gurfateh jee.

sorry guys, dont no wat im doin 2day lol :umm:

Most of the living beings are acutely aware of their unfulfilled lives and in need of their companionable complementary half. This is true in the case of all wild life, birds, life in ocean and even human beings. What distinguishes the divine-oriented beings is that they have an even deeper divine-yearning of self-realization and union with God, our real source. Gurbani provides us the spiritual solace and guides to the spiritual goal. It also suits eminently for observing all types of occasions like birth, marriage, death, etc. Annand Kaaraj is the Sikh way of solemnizing a marriage of a couple while it also relates to the stages of progress of individual soul for God-realization.

In performance of Annand Kaaraj, there is participation of holy congregation in the presence of Sri Guru Granth Sahib for blessings and prayers for the success of the new married life. The couple after obeisance present themselves directly in front of Guru Sahib and take seats (groom on the right side of the bride). The Ragi Jatha sing a Shabad of invocation to start the proceedings of the ceremony for the baptised Sikh couple.

Invocation in Sri Rag ki vaar by the fourth Nanak (Page 91 in Sri Guru Granth Sahib):

Invoke divine help at the commencement of a desired goal, to acknowledge God as All-Powerful, Whose Will is ever done. Through such a prayer in the light of Guru's Wisdom, success is assured. In the company of holy ones, one acquires the wealth of God-Rememberance; NAM. O, Dispeller of all fear! Benevolent God, save the honour of Thy devotee. Thus, O Nanak, singing the Divine Praise one establishes a link with the Divine.

Prayer (Ardaas):

The Sikh congregational prayer is then recited, while standing in presence of Guru Sahib for divine blessing with the participation of all those present and for the specific permission to proceed with the marriage ceremony of the couple. The marriage is thus being witnessed and blessed by Guru Sahib and all those present. The Divine Order (Hukamnama) is then read from Sri Guru Granth Sahib.

The couple are now ready to take the vow of marriage in unison by circumbulating Sri Guru Granth Sahib, as the Divine witness. For this, the bride holds the apron of the groom, which her father offers her. This signifies his approval of the marriage and unites in marriage to the boy. The Ragis sing the following holy verse:

Salok by the fifth Nanak (Page 993 in Sri Guru Granth Sahib):

This is a depiction of the state of mind of the couple and selection of the partner as the most appropriate one, as the dependable one for the earthly sojourn. O my Lord, says Nanak, I have given up both praise and slander of others. All the worldly relations I find undependable and false. Thus I now seek Thy shelter (this is the vow of companionship through thick and thin of life, with changing fortunes).

Thus we find, that the marriage is through a deliberate and thoughtful selection by the partners, affirmed and approved by the parents and the community. The Divine seal in now affixed by reciting the relevant text of LAVAN from Sri Guru Granth Sahib. The couple circumbulate around Guru Granth Sahib in accompaniment of the singing of a LAV after its recitation from Sri Guru Granth Sahib. The groom leads the bride while going around four times, once after each LAV is recited and the Ragi Jatha is singing the just recited LAV. Each time they come to stand before Guru Sahib after the round, pay their obeisance and take seats to listen to the recitation of the next LAV.

The Lavan may be described as the stages the soul goes through for a complete union with the Divine. The marital relationship has been sublimated to such a union as the partners are supposed to help each other in spiritual development besides assisting in the worldly duties. They are to remain God-conscious and become useful members of the family and society at large.

LAVAN:

Literally, a LAV means severing old relationship to get into a new one. A divine oriented soul is to severe the worldly attachment and pride to be able to gain acceptance and finally merge with God. The four LAVAN (by the Fourth Nanak at Page 773 in Sri Guru Granth Sahib) are the four stages that a soul passes through before attaining the ultimate bliss. These are as follows:

First LAV:

As a first step, the Divine Wisdom leads one to engage in God rememberance. The Divine Word in the heart makes one shun all sinful activity. The following of Guru's teaching brings harmony with righteous living, where there is no sin. It is a Divine blessing that one develops love for God to enjoy the high state of bliss. Says Nanak, that Nam-meditation is the first step towards God-realization and leads to marriage of Soul with the Divine. -1.

Second LAV:

In the second stage, the soul is sacrifice unto the Lord for the Divine favour of meeting with the Guru, who is the source of Divine Wisdom and the Divine Word. The Guru helps to dispel all the fear due to self ego and instead induces the respectful awe of God, the Almighty and pervading everywhere. The individual through such perception engages in singing Divine Praises, seeing God in all and everywhere. Says Nanak, such is the second stage of the God-oriented. Such a one experiences the unstruck Divine, ethereal music in a blissful state. -2.

Third LAV:

O, All Pervading Lord, it is Thy favour, that the yearning for Thee is developed in mind, as the third stage towards union with Thee. Meeting the Lord for the fortunate ones is possible through the company of holy ones. The pure one is sought through singing his praises, Gurbani and thus imbibing the Divine Virtues. The destined ones always have the Lord in their minds. Says Nanak, at this third stage, one experiences a strong yearning for the Lord. -3.

Fourth LAV:

Purged of all ego and worldliness, the mind attains to a perpetual sense of bliss, a sense of equipoise and union with the Lord. This is the outcome of Guru's teachings, which has evolved God-Love in one's heart. Such ones are ever intoxicated with the Elixir of Nam. Attainment of the highest objective of life, union with the lord has gladdened the heart, which sings Divine Nam. Through this Divine Grace, one is ever blissful and in high spirits. Says Nanak, in this fourth stage one attains the Eternal Lord! -4.

This ending of the marriage ceremony brings immense satisfaction, happiness and mood of thanksgiving.

The Ragis then sing the six stanzas of Annand Sahib. Final prayer of thanks giving and to invoke divine blessings for the new couple's long life, which may be purposeful, of personal satisfaction, service to the community and abiding faith in all the Sikh tenets. After the prayer the Divine Order from Sree Guru Granth Sahib is read.

Before the distribution of Karah Prasad and closing of the ceremony, it is customary for an elderly member or a preacher to address the couple on behalf of the holy congregation. This is for congratulating and blessing them as also to delineate the important facets of their new life, together on somewhat following lines in the light of Guru's Wisdom:

• Life together calls for understanding and adjustment with readiness to sacrifice personal comfort and convenience. The happiness lies in giving.
  
• The topmost virtue is the use of sweet words together with humility and forgiveness. A person with these virtues always wears a winning smile and ensures smooth life for himself/herself and all around.
  
• Sikhism lays all the emphasis on its command to stress faithfulness in marriage between the couple to the extent that coveting another man/woman earns the highest religious censure.
  
• Sharing life together requires the same respect and love for each other's parents and all other relations. Thus, marriage also includes bringing the two families in a close relationship.
  
• The true marriage is union of the two souls with two bodies, working in unison for mutual fulfilment spiritually and in performance of all duties.
  
• Keeping in touch with the Holy scripture, the Living Guru. Sri Guru Granth Sahib will provide all the wisdom to tread on the path of life of good householders and Gursikhs.
  

Thus, the ANNAND KAARAJ ceremony comes to a close.

I am 28 and half, and not as skinny as people think (they are jealous that I am slim and lean <_< ).

omg your that old!

:umm:

HAHAHAHAHA...aaho bhainay...hor tusi ki socheya? Mehtab gabroo jwaan aa? Hunn sirf jwaan aa...gabroo'puna asi tyaagta :LOLz:

hahaha i dunno, i fort u wer like 19,20 or summit. lol oh wel, learn summit new everyday. :kaur:

I am 28 and half, and not as skinny as people think (they are jealous that I am slim and lean <_< ).

omg your that old!

:umm:

suix nwh pRBU jIau eyklVI bn mwhy ]

Hear me, O my Dear Husband God - I am all alone in the wilderness.

ikau DIrYgI nwh ibnw pRB vyprvwhy ]

How can I find comfort without You, O my Carefree Husband God?

Dn nwh bwJhu rih n swkY ibKm rYix GxyrIAw ]

The soul-bride cannot live without her Husband; the night is so painful for her.

nh nId AwvY pRymu BwvY suix bynµqI myrIAw ]

Sleep does not come. I am in love with my Beloved. Please, listen to my prayer!

bwJhu ipAwry koie n swry eyklVI kurlwey ]

Other than my Beloved, no one cares for me; I cry all alone in the wilderness.

nwnk sw Dn imlY imlweI ibnu pRIqm duKu pwey ]1]

O Nanak, the bride meets Him when He causes her to meet Him; without her Beloved, she suffers in pain. ||1||

(akj.org)

Two shopkeepers had their shops next to one another. The Gurmukh (follower of the Guru's (Gur) words (mukh)) used to go to sadh sangat every day and have darshan of Guru Nanak Dev ji do seva and come home. The manmukh (follower of his mind's (man) mukh (words) ) used to go to meet a prostitute. One day the GurMukh said come with me to the sadh sangat, after some persuasion the manmukh agreed, on the way the manmukh remembered his prostitute and backed out of going to the sadh sangat. He said I'm going to go to my normal activities but I'll meet you at the tree across the road tonight. The manmukh went to see the prostitute but she wasn't there so he arrived at the tree much earlier than expected. While waiting for the Gurmukh he started poking a twig into the ground. He found a gold coin, he quickly dug more and more but he only found a pile of ashes. When the Gurmukh returned he was limping along he'd stepped on a thorn. The manmukh said I do my dirty deeds and get good luck you do good deeds but get bad luck. The Gurmukh said lets ask Guru jee to explain. Guru ji told the manmukh, in your previous life you donated one gold piece to a Sant, for doing such a virtuous deed you were to recieve the rewards in this life of many gold coins. But because of your sinful deeds you burned your reward away and were left with your original gold coin. The Gurmukh was told, in your previous life you killed someone with a wooden spear, in this life you were to be killed in the same way, but because of your seva to the Guru you bad deed has been reduced to being pricked with a thorn.

MORAL: The Pains and pleasures one gets in this life are heavily influenced by past actions, not just in this life but in countless previous lives. When people suffer at the hands of others its because they made that person suffer in a previous life. Most people will take revenge and so the cycle of making each other suffer continues life after life. A mythical story to explain this is of a goat and a butcher. The butcher would kill the goat in one life ,the goat' soul would be reborn as a butcher and the butcher's soul would be reborn as a goat. In the next life the butcher would kill the goat and so the cycle continued. Then in one life the butcher received a customer who only wanted a goat's leg. The butcher thought if I kill the goat and sell the leg the rest of the goat will rot away. So what he thought was I'll just chop the goat' leg off and bandage the wound, that way the goat will stay alive until the next customer. Just as he was about to cut the leg, the goat spoke 'O Butcher, what's this new bad action you're starting? Life after life we keep swapping roles to cancel our actions, but if you chop my leg now and make me suffer in the next life I'll do the same to you and you'll suffer too!'

If this sounds too unrealistic then heres a true incident that happened to a very holy Sikh in the 1920's. He was Bhai Randhir Singh and he had reached the highest spiritual state - he was one with Waheguru ji. He was a freedom fighter and locked up in jail. The guards used to abuse the prisoners. but they left Bhai Randhir Singh ji alone because they feared his spiritual powers. One night he had a vision of his past life. He saw he was a prince in a hermits' cave. The hermit was in a trance and as frozen as a rock. The prince didn't understand the trance and thought he should wake him up and feed him, so he ordered his servant to wake him up. The servant shook him and called out to him but with out success. Bhai Randhir Singh ji then ordered the servant to force open the hermits mouth so they could pour the food in, perhaps that would revive him. The servant couldn't open the locked teeth so he got a rock and smashed some of the teeth - this woke the hermit up - he was as mad as hell, he picked up his spear like weapon and threw it at the servant, the servant got hit in the leg and later had it amputated. Bhai Randhir Singh ji had the vision and realised Guru ji was warning him that he had to suffer in the same way as he had made the hermit suffer. Next morning a new prison warden came to Bhai Randhir Singh ji's cell with his guards. Guess what? The warden had only 1 leg! Bhai Randhir Singh ji immediately recognised that this warden was the hermit in his last life and because he had thrown his spear and caused the loss of the princes's servant leg he too had reaped his reward and lost his leg in this life. Now what remained was that the warden had to somehow cause Bhai Randhir Singh ji's teeth to be broken like the prince had done to the hermit. The warden wanted to humiliate Bhai Randhir Singh ji and ordered his servants to feed him beef soup (he was a strict vegetarian). Bhai Sahib refused to eat it, the guards grabbed him, so Bhai Sahib went into a trance and all his body was frozen as hard as a rock and his jaws were locked. The Warden then ordered the servants to smash his teeth and to pour the soup in, so they did. The Warden had no idea that he was just clearing a bad action from a previous life. Bhai Randhir Singh ji was warned so that he wouldn't attack the servants or warden. If he had caused them sufferening then he would have to be reborn so they could cause him suffering.

People ask why do religious people get suffering? They haven't done anything wrong, they haven't hurt an animal or even a fly so why do they get dukh? They get dukh because they caused dukh in previous lifes. All these bad actions have to be cleared. When a holy persons actions and re-actions are all cleared then and only then will they not be reborn and find a place at SatGuru ji's lotus feet in Sach Khand.

I was told that Baba Nand Singh ji, one of the most spiritually high people other than the Guru's died from a leg infection. He used to take pain of other people on his own body so they would survive and he would do simran and ardas to get rid of the pain from his own body. He could have easily cured himself of the infection , he could even have taken medicine. But he recognised that he was reaping the re-action of an action from a previous life and it had to be cleared. When it was cleared then he would not be reborn and find his place at SatGuru ji's lotus feet in Sach Khand.

Bhai Harbans Singh told this sakhi on one of his kirtan tapes. A holy man was blind. When he got to the spiritual state that he could see his previous lives he tried to find out why he was blind. He searched back through 50 lives and there was no reason for his blindness. He went to see a Sant. The sant told him to look back even further, he looked back to 100 previous lives and still no reason for his blindness. The sant told him to look back one more life. He saw that 101 previous lives ago he was a child tormenting a locust. He had a little twig with which he poked out it's eyes. He was now blind because of that action.

Guru ji's have told us clearly, time and time again, that after death when we go infront of the Diviine judge we will be judged by our actions. Some people will be called close to God some will be sent far away (Karmee apo apanee, Ke neray ke door (Japji Sahib)). Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. The reaction can only be reduced and eventually erased by obeying Guru ji's instructions like the shopkeeper. I.e do as much Naam Jap (Waheguru repition) as possible, its like an eraser grinding the spear into a tiny thorn. Do it for yourself and do it for other people.

All of the martyrs suffered terrible tortures -chopped joint by joint, sawn in half, scalped alive, boiled alive but they remained in chard-ee-a-kala because they never lost their love for SatGuru ji's lotus feet (i.e. carried on doing Waheguru repition). When a Sikh gets Dukh it's acceptable as good because it's wiping away bad actions. If a Sikh loses love for Guru ji because of dukh then the Sikh has lost every

thing.

taken from akj.org

A man was travelling on his path he was determined to reach his ultimate goal. Along the way he started feeling hungry. He now had a new goal : To eat, he also felt thirsty so he left his original path and started walking towards the river. Reaching the river he thought it's best to wash my hands before eating or drinking - yet another goal. So he bent down. The river was still he could see a golden bracelet deep down. All of a sudden he forgot his hunger and thirst, he forgot about washing his hands and thought only of possessing the golden bracelet. He jumped into the water but couldn't find it, a passer by saw him jumping in and out of the river and asked why. The passer by said 'O Friend, the bracelet is not in the river it's high up on the branches of the tree, you are chasing the reflection!' The man now had yet another goal to climb the tree . . . and so on.

Morale: Guru Sahib has said the purpose of our life is spiritual - to become enlightened. Sikhi is the path our ultimate goal is Waheguru ji. Like the man in the story we set off on the path but get distracted by one thing after another and waste our precious time.

Guru Arjun Dev ji says 'Gobind milan kee eh teree baria,' 'it's your turn to meet the World Protector'

ask/pm asengh

baba amarjeet singh use you own account, stop using your sisters

Hiya theres something thats been buggin me and i wanted ask people here on what you thought.......well ive never had a girlfriend/boyfriend and was thinking that if i had an arranged marriage would that i was a failure and that i couldnt attact anyone one on my own???..............ive also never done ANYTHING physical with anyone so would my husband/wife look down on me or think negatively if they had been with others before me???.....i would like to ideally marry someone who has also waited BUT with todays people i dont think that gona happen......should i in the end wait for someone has waited or just you know ( not trying to be offensive here but its come out like this) settle for someone who has been with others???

(Mod Note: You have made many topics on this/similar subjects in the past several months. Clearly the issues are bothering you a lot so this one is being approved. But it seems like the SS Gupt Section hasn't been the best place for satisfying your questions.)

Dont worry about it. If youve never had a previous partner good for you. But im sure there are gursikhs out there who may have had relationships before they took amrit, that doesnt make them bad now. The main thing is their jeevan at the present moment. I didnt get all your post, but if you had an arranged marriage u seem to think people wud think less of you cos u havent been in relationships before .... yeh i dont get that. But stop worrying! Things will work themselves out. It doesnt matter if you end up wioth someone who has been in prevoius relationship or not (before they took amrit obviously) main things is who they are now, whats their sikhi and rehit is like.

chill out

gurfateh jee

Yeah i found this on tapoban.org.

mods can you move this to the inspirtional/article section.

thanks

ok heres my situation recently i have been feeling seriously depressed to the point of suicide ive even tried to OD ... at 16 my mum dad and sister died in a car acident leaving me without any family... (at 18 with guru jees kirpa i took amrit) since the accident (5years ago) ive been living alone crying myself to sleep ive been to therapy which i dont believe helped . im failing uni.. practically have NO sangat and just feel like a failure

i no i should turn to guru jee but i dont no why but i physically cant it sounds stupid but i think i find it hard to see guru jee as a guru

the aniversarry of the accident is approaching and i dont think i handle it

please help me

vahiguroo, why an earth do you feel like a failure. After everything you;ve been through, with kirpaa you;ve been blessed with amrit, and ur goin to uni-so u can live - gristi jeevan. Id say thats pretty amazing, dont put urself down, take some time to see how far you've come. I wont be able too give you any advice about losing your family, cos only you know how that must feel. You've lost those who you were most attached too, that must be............... Are you living with any family members/close freinds who might be able to help/support you. Or maybe join some sort of support group or see another therapist. If your having thoughts of taking your life, then you need help for that problem. Once you start addressing that issue, then as penji above said, you really need sangat. Try going to your local gurdwara as much as you can, even if no sangat is there, and you just sit with mahraj for a while, it can make a massive difference. Get a gutka, do some baani. Try meet up with local sangat, get together do keertan. Do ardas, ask mahraj to help you through this. I dont want to sound patronising and you must be going through a really tough time, but after a while things will get better, and you'll look back on this.

If you ever need someone to talk to either pm or email sangat from here, create an account, spend time reading the inpirational section/gurbani section.

take care penji.

gurfateh jee

A racoon is a very greedy but clever animal he is an opportunist. whenever he sees a chance to eat be it garbage or a fish, frog, dead animal he will eat it. he works only at night and hunts a scavenges food. he is attracted to shiny objects like coins and such.

so this is the how he is killed by hunters in olden times (in america). the hunter knows of the racoons attraction to shiny objects and so he takes such a thing and places it in a hole that he sizes himself in a tree stump along a river bank where the racoons are most likely to come at night. he secures the shiny thing by putting a nail through it and the wood. the hole in the tree is made such that when the racoon puts his open hand to grab the coin it will fit in the hole, but when he closes his fist and graps it he will not be able to pull his hand out (becasuse his fist will make his hand too big to pull out of the hole). when night falls, the racoon comes out he hunts and does his nightly business. upon seeing the shiny object in the tree stump he attepts to take it to his home and keep it. but to his suprise it will not budge from the tree and he will have to open his hand, thus letting go of his precious coin which is not what he wants to do. so he will spend his whole time trying to get the shiny object from the tree. in a while the hunter will come to check this trap (he has several of these along the riverbank) and he will see the one with the racoon trying to take the shiny object.

as the hunter apporaches the racoon it becomes impatient and tries to pull harder and faster to get the coin out. it snarls and growls at the hunder and tries to bite him but the whole time never lets go of the coin or opens his hand to make it so it will come out of the hole. so the hunter who wants to trap the racoon for its fur (this is his job) and sell it wants the fur to have as little damaage to it as possible. so instead of shooting the racoon he takes the blunt side of his axe and repeatedly hit the racoon in the head until it dies. keep in mind the racoon had a great chance to escape the whole time by letting go of the coin which would have made his hand small enough to pull out of the hole. thus the racoon is killed and stripped of its precious fur which will bring the hunter good money.

what does this have to do with sikhi ?

the racoon is man, he is greedy and jumps at all chances to pleasure himself, the racoon working at night is man trying to conceal his evil ways and habits and thinking he is free from actions if no one sees him. the shiny coin that is secured in the tree stump is maya. the tree stump is the world. maya is in the world and seems attractive to us. but like the coin it is secured to the world and will not go with us no matter how much we may pull on it. the raccoons hand is our mind when there is no maya in it the it is thin and can easily escape the world. however when we fill it with maya (the coin) it becomes fat, polluted and too big to take out of the tree hole world i.e (the racoons inability to remove his hand from the tree hole once it has made a fist). and the hunter is jamdhoot who comes with a club to strike the man and take him to hell. the man (racoon) is in so much love with the maya (coin) he is unable to part from it even when death (the hunter) is closing in on it. he will cry and make noise and do everything just like the racoon but he will not let go. the priceless fur of the racoon is mans good deeds and great opportunity to make something of this human life (meet Waheguroo).

and it is all lost for what? because he would not let maya go

nwnku AwKY rwih pY clxw mwlu Dnu ikq kU sMijAwhI ]4]27]

naanak aakhai raahi pai chalanaa maal dhhan kith koo sa(n)jiaahee ||4||27||

Says Nanak, you will have to walk on the Path of Death, so why do you bother to collect wealth and property? ||4||27||

Guru jees apaar apaar Kirpaa.