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  1. There are quite a few threads on this forum about the troubles of dating with a turban and beard. Most of these discussions deteriorate into guys taking their frustrations out by bashing Punjabi girls for not wanting to be with keshdari males. I came across a post on reddit that tackles this issue from a slightly different angle. I will post the relevant bit: "Hey guys and gals, I'm a Sikh guy, wear a turban and have a fully grown beard. I live in Canada and am 20 years old. I have quite a few friends who are also turban-wearing Sikhs, and the one thing I am accustomed to hearing on an almost daily basis is "girls won't go out with me because I am a keshdari". That is all I ever hear, not only from my own friends, but on every Sikh forum online, there are hoards of Sikh guys who complain about not being able to get a girlfriend because they wear a turban and sport a beard. This is for any guy on reddit who complains about this issue, and for anyone who knows a guy like that in real life, I say, you need to slap some sense into him by showing him this post. The turban and the beard are not the reason you can't get girls. It is your lowly perception of yourself. You have no self confidence, you freak out every time you talk to a female because you are worried she doesn't like your turban/beard and you are a social klutz. Most keshdari males in the west spend their time hanging out with other keshdari guys, or other Indian men in general. You have very little experience socializing with members of other races, and especially with members of the opposite sex. That is the problem. You got no game. How do you fix it? Become social, talk to people you normally wouldn't talk to, develop your social skills, and watch your life change for the better. Secondly, most turban + beard guys I know are not physically attractive. No, it is NOT the beard and turban that are responsible for it. Most of you don't work out, and quite a few (maybe even majority) have really let yourselves go, and have developed huge guts. Get your behind into the gym, lose weight if you're fat, build muscle if you're skinny. If I was a girl, I wouldn't want to date most of you either, because you don't take care of yourselves. Sikhi says to treat your body like your temple, how on earth have you allowed your temple to become so desecrated? Stop eating allu de parathai, samosai, gulab jaman, eat good, wholesome, nutritious food, get in the gym, lift, your testosterone will increase, your confidence will increase, and so will your success with the ladies. Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, STOP LIMITING YOURSELF TO PUNJABI GIRLS!!!!!!!!!!!!! For Pete's sake, most guys I know who complain about this are the ones who ONLY go for Punjabi kudis. The world is your oyster my friend, there's wonderful girls out there who will accept you for who you are and are not Indian-descent. In fact, from my own experiences and what I have heard from friends, non-Punjabi girls actually respect the turban and beard more than Punjabi girls do. If you are proud to be keshdari, then they will respect you for it. When I ask most guys why they are wearing a turban, they'll tell me "because my parents made me". When pressed further about why their parents made them, they say "because it is a part of the religion". But they don't know WHY Sikhs wear turbans. That is the problem. FFS man, learn your own history! It is legendary what our ancestors went through to protect our dharam. It is teeming with stories of epic battles, sacrifice and determination. No other religion has ever had to face even half the crap we did to survive and preserve our beliefs. It was keshdari Sikhs who destroyed Mughal rule in Punjab, 21 keshdari Sikhs who held off an army of 10,000 Afghans for over 7 hours until reinforcements arrived. Confidence comes from being sure of who you are. Understand why you wear a turban, and the thousands of brave men and women who wore it before you, and you won't give a damn about what any woman thinks. If some immature Punjabi girl has no respect for your turban, that's her loss. A lot of them have forgotten that when Punjabi women were getting kidnapped left, right and center by Persian forces, and being taken to Iran to be sold in the sex-trade industries, it was turbaned Sikh men who went after them, fought enemies umpteenth times larger than themselves, won, and brought the women back safe and sound to their families. Any girl that rejects you solely for your turban isn't worth the time, even if she's Punjabi. Most of them are going to be fat aunties in 20 years time anyways, then they'll be paying guys to give them the time of day. My girlfriend is white, my brother is married to a Chinese lady, who is absolutely wonderful, and has complete respect for Sikhi and the turban. If you respect your turban, others will too. I've got a handful of friends (all keshdari) dating white girls and Asian (Chinese mostly) girls. I've got family in the USA, a few of my cousins are with Latinas. All are socially confident, all work out, none limited themselves to just Punjabi girls. That's my rant. I'm tired of keshdari guys complaining about how girls don't give you the time of day, it makes us all look like insecure, needy, weak boys who do not deserve any woman in the first place. Cutting your hair isn't going to make you a success with the ladies if you are out of shape and socially demented. On the other hand, I have known the most athletic, outgoing keshdari brothers get rejected time and time again by girls just because they had the turban. And each time, the girl was Punjabi. Face it dude, there are girls out there who are not attracted to the look, and there's nothing you can do about it. But there are a lot more girls out there than you think who don't give a damn about how big your facial hair is or what you have on your head, and a lot, if not the majority of these girls, are not Punjabi. STOP LIMITING YOURSELF! I leave you with one last question: If Dwayne The Rock Johnson converted to Sikhi today, grew out his beard and stuck on a turban, would he have any less success with the ladies? I rest my case." Source: http://www.reddit.com/r/Sikh/comments/1ggy25/dating_with_turban_and_beard/ Most respondents agreed with what he said, the support was almost unanimous. My thoughts? I think he hit the nail on the head. I disagree with the bit about Punjabi girls all turning into fat aunties, I think that was uncalled for, but other than that, he makes very valid points (imo). Keshdaris stick with other keshdaris and/or Indian men, so have little experience interacting with people of other races, and because of Punjabi culture, are discouraged from talking to women. I've been to quite a few Gurdwaras in my time, the one thing I noticed over and over again was a lack of aesthetics amongst the more religious members of our community, doesn't matter if they were young or old. Now, this isn't always, the case, I workout, most of my friends (keshdari) workout, a lot of guys posting in the comments section of that post said they do as well, and I'm sure a lot of guys on here do too. But what I have noticed is that, while we are supposed to be saint-soldiers, most of us focus too much on the "saint" aspect and not enough on the "soldier" portion. I also agree with what he said about Punjabi (NOT SIKH) girls, the average Punjabi girl these days doesn't really care much for Sikhi, so dating out of the race is probably a good idea. Thoughts? Yay or nay?
  2. Hello everyone, so let me explain what is going on. I am a keshdari Sikh guy in University. I work out, have friends from every race/religion, I consider myself to be a social and fit guy who also holds Guru Jis teachings very strongly in his heart and I absolutely love Sikhi. Now, I've always had a bunch of female friends, talking to girls has never been a problem for me. Throughout High School, and at the beginning of Uni, I always wanted to start a relationship with a Punjabi girl. Most were friendly with me, but wouldn't go out with me. The few that did always ended it after a few dates, because they wanted short haired guys. Of course it was disappointing, but I never once considered cutting my hair. If a girl didn't respect my hair, she wasn't worth my time, that was my train of thought. Looking back at it now, I can't believe I asked most of them out either, they may have been Punjabi, but they didn't have an ounce of Sikhi or Sikhi knowledge in their bodies, I wouldn't look twice at girls like that today. So despite my experiences, I still maintained hope that I would end up with a Punjabi SIKH girl one day, I didn't pay much attention to girls who were not Punjabi/from Sikh backgrounds (although now that I reflect, most of the non-Punjabi girls I knew were a lot nicer, and I could have dated a lot of them, plus they didn't mind the turban/beard). I live in an area with a very small ethnic population, so since Uni started, it has been harder for me to meet Punjabi girls. Last month, something unexpected happened to me. One of the white girls I have a class with, that I met at the beginning of the semester, asked me out. She is really smart, funny, we clicked the first day we met, plus she is extremely mature for her age, not the kind of girl who drinks or does drugs or goes clubbing and comes back at 3 am. Dare I say it, she acts more "Sikh" than almost all the Punjabi girls I've known throughout my life. Anyways, so she asked me to go see a movie with her, and I said yes. It was a lot of fun and we've been out twice since then, and are going out again this weekend. She's pretty much everything I ever wanted in a girl: mature, does well in school, good morals and actually likes me for my beard and turban. She's been asking me about Sikhi since the beginning of the semester, when we first met (before we started dating), and she has a TON of respect for it, seriously I see her eyes light up when I tell her about Guru Arjan Dev Ji and Guru Tegh Bahadur Jis Shaheedis, the epic story of Vaisakhi 1699, the bravery of Mai Bhago leading an army of men into battle against an enemy of thousands, the sacrifice of Bhai Mani Singh and everything else that is our awesome history. She has been begging me to take her to Gurdwara, and like I said I live in an area with a few Sikhs, but the Gurdwara will be celebrating Miri Piri so that is when I will take her. My question is, am I doing something wrong? I really couldn't ever see myself with a non-Punjabi girl, and this one isn't even from a Sikh background. I feel kind of hypocritical because one of my friends started dating a Muslim girl a few months ago, I was telling him he should stick to Sikh girls, so I feel a bit of guilt about this. On the flip side, she has wonderful morals and seems to really be interested in Sikhi. She has complete respect for the turban and beard and actually regards Guru Gobind Singh Ji as some sort of super hero lol. So do I keep dating her and see what happens? Or would it be best if we part ways now, since I don't know how my parents will react (I've kind been doing it in secret).
  3. A JURY has found 34-year-old Lee Shaw guilty of murder. Shaw, of Community Drive, Smallthorne, stabbed Dalbagh Singh Malhi to death in Bentilee in the early hours of May 13 last year. ​JAILED Lee Shaw. GUILTY: Lee Shaw. Twenty-nine-year-old Mr Malhi, who was known as Bugsy, suffered multiple stab wounds and died from a 13cm wound to the chest. Shaw denied murder, claiming he was acting in self defence. But following a two-week trial at Stafford Crown Court, a jury took just three hours to find him guilty. Read more: http://www.thisisstaffordshire.co.uk/Lee-Shaw-guilty-Bentilee-street-murder/story-18483862-detail/story.html#ixzz2OUHOzQf4
  4. Guest

    This guy and me...

    Basically i came across this guy a few months back and from the very first time i met him, i was hooked. He is like no other person i have ever come across. Its not about looks etc but his personality...i feel connected with him on another level. It sounds corny but it feels like we were meant to meet...obviously we were lol Maharaajs hukum but i meet loads of people many amazing people but just this one guy has touched me so deep...i feel like theres a solid soul connection. And whats weird is that he feels the exact same way. I know his not lying...he is possibly the most truthful person ive come across. I know him inside out now. So yeah we have this amazing thing where we both feel the same way about each other and both feel like there is a much deeper meaning to it. Its something neither of us have ever felt. So my question is...what is this? All this has me really confused. I dont know what to make of it anymore. I've tried ignoring him and walking away, tried putting him off etc but none of it works...i can not stop talking to him. I've given up fighting it... And to be honest, i am no longer sure i want to stop talking to him. Coz what we have is so unique. Neither of us have experienced it. I am taking all this as Maharaajs hukum...i honestly dont know where i would be without this guy now. Though i dont agree wth most labels, i can say with all surety that i am not homosexual. Nor bisexual. Im a kesadhari Singh...very much into Sikhi, an integral part of me. I have always wanted to get married to a woman with whom id have 3/4 children lol! but right now i can not see past this guy. I want to spend my life with this person whos so attached to my soul. I could happily live a life of celebacy just to be with this guy...thats how i feel right now. I'd appreciate people not jumping to conclusions and assuming this is some kaam related thing or that i am trying to justify homosexuality. Im not against it either. Its fine in its own place...not my business or the point of this post. It sounds weird even as i read it back to myself but this is the reality of it. I guess im looking for someone to tell of a similar thing...im not sure. I just dont need bakwaas cheap digs. Please do yourself a favour and keep them to yourself. If anyone has anything worth saying, please reply. I apologise if i offend anyone, it is not my intention.
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