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Amritdhari family doesn’t like my boyfriend
Guest posted a topic in GUPT FORUMI am a 20 yr old girl in US with a amritdhaari family who is very religious and respected. I fell in love with a guy who is mona, eat meat and drinks. I was never as religious as my parents but do value being a vegetarian and sikhi values. We were together for a year and half and Bc I thought I was going to spend my whole life with him we were intimate. I got pregnant and we went to many doctors appointments Bc we were going to have twins. I misscarried one baby and the other we had an abortion Bc my parents hated him and I never wanted to be a disgrace for my family. My parents explained to me so much to leave him but I can’t. I didn’t tell them anything about the pregnancy Bc I’m unsure of their reaction and how they will lose the little respect they have for me. I’m lying to them again that I’m not talking to him when I am. I don’t want to chose between my family and my boyfriend, who I was going to have babies with. I feel so guilty and depressed everyday I hate myself and think I should’ve kept the baby no matter what. I have no guidance or advice Bc I’m ashamed of my actions and can’t tell anyone.
We were all excited and upbeat , esp my parents over the pregnancy . My wife is around 9 week pregnant [first trimester] .But then our world came crashing down as she got fever . Her gynaec had told her on day one that no medicines can be given during pregnancy. This was when she complained of pregnancy-related body pains. She was all well since then. Her initial sonography gave us the glimpse of my baby's beating heart and we even got to hear it . We were all thankful to god. But then suddenly the night before yesterday she developed fever . Yesterday it keep alternating between high and low . Today morning it wnt beyond 102F. By this point we had already talked to her gynaec and she recommended us seeing a physician . So we were prescribed good ol' fever reducer - paracetamol which is considered safe for pregnant women as well . But the point is her fever comes and goes and thats whats keeping me alarmed. By this point I was already p*ssed off at my wife , to the point of saying more than once "You already having fevers with your baby still inside you in first trimester and I am having qualms over how your fever and the meds for it are gonna affect my baby for the worse. I am NOT responsible for this child" . I am angry at her because it was her stupid lifestyle like "eating cold foods from fridge, etc" and "taking a cold kesi ishnaan" that led to develop this fever . So I told her a radical solution : Lets terminate this and we start afresh from a start page , this time we will be more careful . But this idea was rebuked by her and my parents were repulsed of it . They wanna go with this pregnancy. I don't want to invest my time and money in having a child who has birth defects or has autism , ADHD or other weird sicknesses simply because my stupid woman lead an irresponsible lifestyle ! ? Is it wrong of me to think this way ? I think I was just being prudent of starting a fresh chapter and not creating a child that is at risk of being a liability for me
Guest posted a topic in GUPT FORUMNeed some advice please. I’ve fallen pregnant by my mona boyfriend but I’m amritdhari. I haven’t told my family but we want to keep the baby as I don’t believe in abortion. I don’t know how to approach the Panj Pyare about this and will they tell me to split up from my boyfriend and tell me to abort the child or give it up for adoption?
Paath and other things to do when Pregnant
Guest posted a topic in GUPT FORUMThere's A LOT of questions that Sikh Women have about what Paath or Nitnem they should do when Pregnant or what they should be doing before pregnancy, etc. There's also questions about what to do after the baby is born and just about family life in general. For example, do mothers have to observe Amrit Vela? Do ALL Sikhs need to observe Amrit Vela? Fortunately, there's a new non-profit organization that's completely DEVOTED to educating about Sikh family life... and it's called... Sikh Family Life (!): https://www.SikhFamilyLife.com/ There's a whole series on Mother's Duties and Responsibilities (starts BEFORE pregnancy): https://www.sikhfamilylife.com/maa-de-farz-series-a-mothers-responsibilities/ ALL pregnant mamas should be doing Sukhmani Sahib, here's why: https://www.sikhfamilylife.com/2018/04/a-secret-power-of-sikh-mothers/ And for the scoop on Amrit Vela (and why it's SOOOOO Important for Sikhs): https://www.sikhfamilylife.com/2018/06/the-low-down-on-amrit-vela/ There's even a post on one way to teach kids Sikhi: https://www.sikhfamilylife.com/2018/06/one-fabulous-way-to-teach-kids-sikhi/ Hopefully this resource is helpful to some of you searching for answers on this incredibly important topic of Sikhi, pregnancy, and motherhood!
Controlling Muslim husband who forced wife to convert to Islam and wear a hijab before he killed her while she was pregnant is jailed for 17 years Mohammed Badiuzzaman admitted killing mother-of-three Sabeen Thandi He told colleagues he planned to kill wife and bragged jails were 'easy peasy' Forced victim into Muslim marriage and stopped her leaving house alone He was arrested on suspicion of making threats to kill but later released Within weeks she was found strangled at her home in London by police By Emily Davies Published: 16:05, 27 May 2014 | Updated: 17:12, 27 May 2014 Victim: Mother-of-three Sabeen Thandi, 37, was forced her to wear a hijab head scarf and pressurised into an Islamic marriage by husband Mohammed Badiuzzaman A husband who strangled to death his pregnant wife two weeks after police arrested him for threatening to kill her with a hammer was sentenced to life imprisonment today. Mohammed Badiuzzaman, 34, pleaded guilty to murdering mother-of-three Sabeen Thandi at the Old Bailey earlier this month. Before the killing he told colleagues he planned to kill his wife, bragged that UK jail was ‘easy peasy’ and ranted about Oscar Pistorius. He was today sentenced to a minimum of 17 years in prison by Judge Christopher Moss QC, who described the defendant as ‘manipulative, devious and controlling’. Mrs Thandi was strangled at her home in Forest Gate, London, in July last year, a fortnight after she obtained a restraining order against her husband, and after police had arrested him for making death threats. Police officers are now under investigation by the Independent Police Complaints Commission for releasing Badiuzzaman before he went on to kill. Badiuzzaman had forced Mrs Thandi into a Muslim marriage and had moved in with her two months after they began dating in November 2012. He was controlling, preventing her from leaving the house alone, forcing her to throw away ‘revealing’ clothes and instead wear a hijab because otherwise she would ‘feel his wrath’. The security guard even tried to sell her home by visiting an estate agents and pretending he owned the property. Doctor’s receptionist Mrs Thandi grew sick of Badiuzzaman’s abuse and visited solicitors in Watford in June last year seeking a divorce. She took out an order from Watford County Court on June 17 against Badiuzzaman to prevent him from entering her home, as she feared for her children’s safety. But two days later Badiuzzaman became enraged after discovering Mrs Thandi was in love with a man in Pakistan whom she had met on Facebook, named in court as only as Majid. Badiuzzaman duped his wife into getting into the car with him on the premise of taking her to work, but instead he drove her around for three hours and threatened her. He said he had a hammer in his car boot and that if she did not revoke the order against him she would never see her son again, and that police would ‘find parts of her body in bits in bin bags’. Mrs Thandi pleaded with her solicitors to revoke the order, and they proceeded to call the police. Badiuzzaman was arrested on suspicion of threats to kill and unlawful imprisonment. While being cautioned he made no comment and grinned at police, but he was later released. +2 Jailed: Badiuzzaman, 34, strangled his pregnant wife Sabeen Thandi to death after police arrested him for threatening her with a hammer In the early hours of July 7 police received two silent 999 calls from the home the couple had shared and were met by Badiuzzaman at the door who said his wife was at work. He was calm and made conversation with officers but when they searched the property they found her lifeless body under a duvet in the bedroom. Badiuzzaman told police: ‘I’ve killed my wife.’ But when paramedics asked him to tell them what he had done so that they might attempt to save her, he said he did not know. Mrs Thandi was taken to Newham University Hospital where she was confirmed dead, and a post-mortem gave the cause of death as strangulation. Before the killing he had told colleagues he intended to ‘stab’ Mrs Thandi and had talked for an hour about high-profile domestic violence murder cases of Oscar Pistorius and Shrien Dewani. He told colleagues ‘they have got away with it’ and ‘jail in Britain is easy peasy’. Sentencing Judge Moss said: ‘From all that I’ve heard about you I have no doubt that you are a manipulative, devious and controlling person with a serious anger management issue. ‘It’s clear from the way in which she died that you intended that she should die. You strangled her in her bedroom in her own home.’ He added: ‘You murdered your estranged wife in her own home which you were excluded from by order of the county court. ‘It’s clear from the evidence in the case that this was an order you deserved and which you had no respect for, indeed you resented it. ‘You have deprived those children of the love and care of their mother in their formative years of their lives. You had no conceivable defence.’ The judge said he took into some account the fact that the defendant had pleaded guilty one day before the case was listed, and that he had shown some remorse, but added: ‘I suspect you feel sorrier for yourself than those affected by your actions.’ Officer in the case, Detective Inspector Euan McKeeve said: ‘We are very satisfied with the outcome of the case. Domestic violence in all its forms is totally abhorrent and cannot be tolerated. There’s likely to be some learning from the IPCC investigation, but because that investigation is ongoing I am unable to comment further at this time.’ Hertfordshire Police and the Met Police are now being investigated by the IPCC in relation to the incident. An IPCC spokesman said: ‘The investigation is nearing conclusion, with most lines of enquiry completed by investigators. ‘We have interviewed ten officers and a civilian staff member from the Metropolitan Police Service under misconduct caution, in relation to their contact with Mrs Thandi prior to her death on 7 July 2013. Two officers from Hertfordshire Constabulary have also been interviewed under misconduct caution, in relation to their contact with Mrs Thandi on 19 June 2013. ‘We have also taken statements from several independent witnesses, and are keeping the family updated on the progress of our investigation.’
Sikhi Inspired Gifts For Pregnant Sister/couple/baby
S4NGH posted a topic in WHAT'S HAPPENING?VJKK VJKF My sisters due in a months time and I'd like to get her, the brother inlaw and the baby some Sikhi inspired gifts. so for example, I've gone out and got 4 square frames- I'm thinking of gurbani caligraphy? But I'm struggling on what to write...I'd like it to be about birth, baby, family, etc. so its really personal. Any ideas guys? Would really appreciate your help if you could kindly provide ang numbers with short quotes please. Thank you Also, I'd like to make a kirtan CD of calm, soothing kirtan to play in the babies nursery. Any favorites? Thanks in advance with all the rubbish on tv radio and punjabi households in general, I want the baby to have as much good influence as possible. Gurbani and Sikhi inspired art work, stories, music kirtan etc. Please help guys Thaaankk youuuu :biggrin2: Pul chuk muaf ji VJKK VJKF
Pregnant and sitting crossed legged
Guest posted a topic in GUPT FORUMWith Akal Purkh`s blessing my singhni has found out she is 4 weeks pregnant wanted to know how to bibhia sit in darbar sahib at home with their legs crossed. As this can cause pressure on the stomach ? is there any tips should they sit on cushion?