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Found 21 results

  1. WJKK WJKF My gf and I met at University 4 years ago. We plan to get engaged and then married within the next 2 years. My gf feels strongly that she doesn't want to move into my family home with my parents after marriage and feels we should get our own home ASAP. She has met my mother and gets along with her well. My mum wishes for a close relationship with her, but we all know how mother in law and daughter in law relationships can get. I feel financially the best decision would be to stay with my parents long enough to save for a deposit for a home we actually want rather than
  2. Guest

    Guilt over past mistakes

    SSA to all. I was wondering if anyone could provide me with any guidance/advice. I am plagued with guilt, embarrassment, and shame because I cheated on my ex. It was a serious relationship, albeit long distance. We are broken up now, and this incident happened many months prior. I didn't tell him at the time because I wasn't emotionally involved in the situation, and I didn't want to hurt him. I knew I would never do it again. Even though we're separate now, the remorse is plaguing me. I have revealed the truth to him, and apologized for the hurt I have caused. I know I don't "deserv
  3. Guest

    Bengali Problem

    SSA Have a 21 year old son that is seeing a Bengali girl. Our whole family is trying to keep it quiet so it wont affect his siblings future prospects on the shame and anger we feel. I know its sad but growing up there was nothing but contempt for the muslim-culture and way of life. Don't get me wrong I have met some decent people that happened to be muslims but intermarry wasn't even thought of in our darkest dreams. It's very unlikely that this person would convert to Sikhi and the abominable thought that our child could covert to islam would kill us. He has had some issues in
  4. Guest

    self esteem

    hi i think a lot of the issues that periodically come up on this site have to do with low self esteem. what is self esteem? how you think of yourself, how you value yourself, how much love and respect you have for yourself. what is low self esteem? when you look down on yourself, you base on your opinion of yourself on how others view you, you look for validation and approval from others. what causes low self esteem? depending on external influences to understand and feel good about yourself. what is the cure to low esteem? to love, respect and value yourself. th
  5. Guest

    Taking relationship further

    I’m in a relationship with a non-Sikh girl. We have been together for a while. She wants to take our relationship further by having sex. I want this too. We want to get married one day but just not yet. If we’re committed to being together, can we still have sex before marriage?
  6. hi so many times i heard from sikh girls who said they had sex with their partner because they were intending to marry them, but the said partner then dumped them without any marriage. i do not know if it was deliberate self-deception, but its just a warning to woman- if you are truely going to marry someone, then the sex can wait until after the actual marriage. same with boys- don't lead someone along and have sex with them when you know you have no intention of marrying them- the sex can wait until after marriage.
  7. Found this on the Guardian website. https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/oct/08/since-we-married-my-husband-and-i-live-as-friends-not-lovers-what-can-i-do I'm not the one asking for advice, but some of you on this forum might like to use the opportunity to put the columnist right by using the comments section.
  8. Is it right or wrong to date Muslim girls? Going to college and uni school in a predominately Muslim area. I ended up dating quite a few Muslim girls. Not out of any particular preference. My classes we just full to the brim with Muslim females. Hence as a male in my early days I just ended up dating them. There were some Sikh females but I did not want to date them as I saw them as apne. So did not really want to hurt or get involved with them. Muslim girls on the other hand were defiantly game and up for it. So to speak apart from the religious ones of course. I dont know how it
  9. Hello, Many thanks in advance for reading this and helping. I need some advice as I don't have many people in my life who are in touch with Sikhi. I am a 27 year old and have been in a long distance relationship for almost seven years. The guy is genuine, caring and he has never had a girlfriend before. He isnt like other guys or lustful either. His intentions have always been good and we have never had any issues the last seven years like normal couples do (e.g. trust, other girls, jealousy etc) he is very down to earth and has supported me in my new jobs, at university finding boo
  10. Guest

    Indian In-laws

    Hi apologies in advance for any grammer and typo errors. So i have been married for over 8 years and have 2 children. I don't live with my in-laws as they are in India. i got married in india and my husband joined me in the UK. my parents helped a great deall financially by putting down a deposit for our house and offering financial support as and when they could. they came to visit a few years back and caused so many problems between me and partner whereby they were filling his ears about how much freedom i really should have. I have never disrespected them, i suppose some will say by p
  11. I was reading about the protests. So I'm wondering, how common are mixed relationships with Sikhs? Do we date/marry out often or do we stay within our group? We usually stay within our group where I live in Canada. Also, how common are Sikh/White relationships, and Sikh/Muslim relationships? (both with Sikh guy and Sikh girl)
  12. I want to ask for your advice about things happening in my life. I am going through a tough time. I would really appreciate your effort in helping me. The thing starts from here. I and my family had to fly to Chandigarh, India in 2015. I had completed my 10th Grade back then and here, I got admitted to a school in 11th Grade. It was the hardly 6th day of school while a girl was already in deep relation with a guy, as I observed being it my first day in the school. I was really naive and never had talked much with any girl. Their relationship was, don't know why killing me and making me jealo
  13. I wanted to get some advice on my situation. I have been dating a Sikh boy who has the same surname as me for 6 years now, I am getting to that point in my life where my parents really want me to settle down but I’m so scared to tell them about my bf. At the beginning of the relationship I thought it would be pretty cool to have the same surnames but I am now starting to realise that this could possibly be going against our religion. I am so confused and really scared of my parents reaction to this. Please help.
  14. WJKK WJKF I'm going to be talking about a very sensitive topic so please bear with me, I don't think there's anyone else that I can talk to about this issue. So I met a girl a few months ago and we became best friends, and soon enough we realized that we are both in love with each other and want to get married, which is great. However, the issue is the mistake(s) she has made in her past. She had a boyfriend with whom she was in a living relationship with, although she's living in a foreign country, she belongs to strict Sikh family from India, so she hasn't told anyone else about her previo
  15. Gurfateh! I've seen quite a number of posts here on the subject of caste/pressure to trim beard/other side wanting parties and rituals etc. So how does one go about finding a Gursikh wife/husband without dating or giving up your faith? I don't know anyone through my family, I have very few Sikh friends, indeed I live in a small town where there are very few Sikhs, let alone Gursikhs/Amritdharis and the local Gurdwara is caste and cultural biased. Apart from old-timers, I'm the only guy there with a full beard and I've never seen a woman with a keski/turban. I've been on matrimonial website
  16. Hi, i live in the uk and my parents want me to have an arranged marriage in india (i have no problem with this) but I dont really know much about punjabi girls, the girl is from a village in punjab and theres so many questions that Im not sure who can answer or who I should ask, such as what if we dont feel in love after we get married? how intimate can you be with each other? is it like relationships in the western world where you kiss each other all the time when youre alone, would they have sex for fun/get closer to each other or would they see it as simply for reproduction? I think id fin
  17. Fateh Ji, Can singhs/singhnis of the board please explain to me why god puts people through divorce? I hear elders say "it was sanjog and couldnt be stopped". Are we supposed to believe in that? Amirtdhari divorces happening everywhere....where is the sanctity of marriage? Is it "bad timing"? Curses? Why would god put his sevaks through this?
  18. Dear Sangat Ji, I am a frequent reader of this site but I seldom post, and am for the first time ever starting a new thread. I do so because I feel that we can perhaps openly examine as a community some of the root causes of many of the challenges that posters present here, especially in the Gupt section. I post here instead of "Whats Happening" as there may be those who wish to contribute but not reveal their identities. The topics that keep coming up over and over include: Women and issues with hair (and the fact that it affects their chances of marriage) Youngsters and romantic relation
  19. WJKK WJKF. I need guidance on my current "relationship". I know that A LOT of people experience what i am currently going through, but I feel as though people reply with lines from gurbani (Which is obviously what we should be doing) but can someone respond who has actually gone through this and reply with feeling and emotion rather than going all crazy religious on me! I know that sounds bad but please dont take it the wrong way! I too am amritdhari, I just took amrit about a year ago, and so did the guy i am currently interested in. I am 20 and he is 21. We are not "Dating" but we have ever
  20. Hi all, I badly need some help here! I'm dating a guy who shares the same goth as me. I tried asking around to my relatives and so, they said its not right because we are siblings. I don't get it, how are we siblings when we come from a different pind (village)? On the other hand, my brother in law tells me there is no such thing written in our Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji.. I'm really confused on What is What!! Will I be going against our Guruji's teaching if I continue with this relationship? Please advise me and give me more information regarding this matter. Thank you very much in advance!
  21. Hi all, I'm in need of some help here.. I'm dating a guy of the same goth as myself.. I've tried asking relatives (aunties) if its acceptable and they said nope because we are brothers and sisters.. But how exactly are we brothers and sisters? We share the same goth but we are not from the same pind.. One of my relative said there is no such thing written in our Shri Guru Granth Sahib Ji.. Please enlighten me on this as I'm very confused on what is right.. Thank you very much in advance!
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