supasinghsghost

to the original poster: 1) you are in love therefore you will not listen to anyone not even your own mother. 2)its your life - your actions will have consequences SO what choice will you make. 3) people here are just going to confuse you. 4) at the moment ur parents dont know are you ready to handle the crap they are gona give you when u tell all over one guy 5) is he willing to stand by you when ur parents (it could happen) say no and object you to marrying this guy you need to do some growing up and ask urself some serious questions because marriage is for life not just for fun you know.......how about u get ur wish and marry him against ur parents wishes.......and u need help can u handle the fact that ur family may not want to help you....... i dont want to put further doubts in your mind BUT u need to ask yourself is this guy worth it and not just from a lovey doevy way BUT in a serious for the rest of ur life way?

Use Cream cheese e.g. philadelphia cream cheese as a filling in your sandwiches.....so you wont have to worry about mayonaise or meat!......take as many homemade sandwiches or other food from home.....you will be saving money AND will be full

the only thing swallowing up sikhs these days is fear and then they act like sheeps all their lives scared to do anything i.e. stand up for the panth!!!!! nothing can destroy sikhi the word of God in our Guru Maharaj Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji will remain the same forever BUT will people stay the same.....atm moment sikhism is small BUT WHO KNOWS where it will be in 1000 years time, you never know sikhism in the future may have a billion followers!!! people need more faith!!!! Hey have u ever thought that sikhi may end up swallowing hinduism!!!!!

Gurjit Kaur Gurjit Kaur ekes out a living by doing odd jobs at Amritsar's Golden Temple. She lost her husband and 14-year-old daughter during Operation Bluestar. Those who have seen the blood of loved ones spilt will never forget and I will carry my memories with me to my funeral pyre Golden Temple attack: Your memories Later, her oldest son was killed by police. Two other sons took to arms and became militants - they too were killed in encounters with security forces. Her youngest boy was only 14 when he also disappeared after the police took him away. "I have been left all alone in this world. Army soldiers killed my husband Gurmej Singh and our young daughter Jasvinder." Almost her entire family - her farmer husband, four young sons and her daughter - over the years fell victim to the mindless violence that enveloped Punjab through the 1980's and early 1990's. It all started with Operation Bluestar in June 1984. "It was Guru Arjan Dev-ji's Martyrdom Day in the beginning of June that year. "Gurmej Singh was a deeply religious man who visited the Golden Temple at least once every month. He was also an ardent admirer of (militant leader) Sant (Saint) Jarnail Singh Bhindranwale. "He left our home in Village Sodhiwala in Punjab's southwestern border district of Ferozepur along with our elder daughter, who was only a young child at the time. "They were inside the Temple when the army launched its attack. "Gurmej Singh and Jasvinder never returned home. "All I know is they were among the thousands who were killed by the army that day. We couldn't even perform their last rites. "To add to our grief, the police began harassing us because they recovered some pictures of Bhindranwale which my dead husband had once bought. "My eldest son Kashmir Singh - 22 years and working as a mechanic at a nearby workshop - was picked up and killed. They threw his body in a drain outside the village. "Intensely angry over the injustices we were forced to suffer, two of my younger sons left home to join militant organisations. "I did not attempt to stop Jaspal Singh and Tarlok Singh from going away. "I do not know if they were able to avenge the deaths of my husband, daughter and older son, but some years later - around 1991 - both the boys were shot dead in encounters with the police. "I did not grieve - they had given their lives while serving the cause of the Panth (Sikh community) and the Gurus. No respite "But the police did not stop at this. A police check around Amritsar (Photo courtesy The Tribune) "One day - also in the year 1991 - a bunch of police wallahs came to my house and picked up my younger daughter, youngest son and me. My daughter and I were locked up in the Jail at Nabha Town. "But I still do not know what became of my youngest child. Baljinder Singh was only 14 years old. "He simply disappeared from the custody of the police. "Twenty years have gone by but I still cry each day. I cannot forget how my entire family was wiped out. "Those who have seen the blood of loved ones spilt will never forget and I will carry my memories with me to my funeral pyre. "Today I am all alone. My only surviving child lives with her husband outside Punjab. She does not visit me because the police harass her each time she came here in the past. "My only remaining wish is to identify the men who killed Baljinder Singh. He was only a innocent little child. "I want to know what kind of men could bring themselves to murdering a child. I want to know if they made my sweetest child suffer. "My heart will not stop aching. Nothing else matter to me now." http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/south_asia/3774899.stm

Sikhs need to start speaking out as well about issues like this which effect sikh women and sometimes men: If the police and social workers had only listened to 12-year-old Ruksana when she told them her father had threatened to send her to Pakistan to be married against her will, then she says life might have been very different. But they did not take her seriously, she says. She ended up in a foreign country and married to a violent partner who raped her and made her pregnant, aged 15. Although she managed to escape, Ruksana (not her real name) now lives alone with her young child in a refuge somewhere in England. Ruksana believes that by taking her away from school so early her parents robbed her of her education. And she says having a child at such a young age has hindered her career. Let down "When I was at school. I enjoyed it and worked hard," she says. "I was in the top sets for English, maths and science. I wanted to go to college and university - but I didn't even get to take my GCSEs." All this may have been prevented, she believes, if she had not been let down by the authorities that she trusted. I thought the school in Britain might search for me - I obviously wasn't coming to school any more. Ruksana With her classmates at school, Ruksana had heard a talk about domestic violence - and some of what she heard chimed with the 12-year-old schoolgirl. Says Ruksana: "The speaker listed the symptoms and said - if this is happening to you, then it is domestic violence. So I kept his card, and when my parents threatened me with marriage, that's when I called the police." "I told the police: my father wants to send me to Pakistan to get married against my will. I told them that he had my passport. "The police reassured me that this wouldn't happen. Became pregnant "But then the police came to our house, and talked to me in front of my family - so everyone knew that I had complained. Soon after that the father moved me away to a relative's house. "There I was visited by a social worker that the police had arranged. She came to visit me twice - but she also didn't speak to me alone, so my relatives knew what was going on as well." Things moved quickly after that, says Ruksana. "After about six to eight months my father came back from Pakistan. He said: 'We're going to Pakistan for a holiday. It's only for a short time - a month or two'. "Then when we got on the plane he told me that I wouldn't be coming back, and that I couldn't do anything about it. "After I arrived in Pakistan I stayed there for two years. I got married aged 15 and then got pregnant. "When I was there I did still secretly think that the British police would come looking for me - because I had already complained to them. 'Horrific' experience "I thought the school in Britain might search for me - I obviously wasn't coming to school any more. But nobody looked for me. I had to go through all that alone. It was horrific. "Then I came back to the UK - I did not want to stay married and I told everyone this. "But they said they had given their word, and if I said no it would bring shame to the family. So I had to go through with it." Ruksana gave birth in a British hospital. Then, when her Pakistani husband eventually joined Ruksana in the UK, the marriage was unhappy. "He was very violent towards me. I have been through rape," she says. Eventually Ruksana took her child and ran away. She is now in hiding from relatives who believe she has brought shame on the family name. "I am always looking over my shoulder," she says. She blames the authorities for not believing the word of a 12-year-old Asian girl. "If they had responded properly then my life wouldn't be the way it is now," she says. "I think maybe the police and social workers aren't aware of forced marriage Or they think it is an Asian thing and it doesn't happen with white people. 'In our tradition' "White kids can call Childline and they get listened to - but for Asian children it's thought of as wrong to complain." Ruksana is not bitter towards her parents: "I think they know that in our religion - Islam - forced marriage is wrong. But it is also in our tradition. "From their point of view they were doing the right thing, because that is what happened when they were young." And despite her bad experiences, Ruksana would still advise girls in her position to tell the authorities "My message is that they should contact the police and tell them everything. "Because of the publicity about forced marriages I think they would take you a bit more seriously now." http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7288820.stm

I find it crude, offensive and cheap! (and im not just talking about the price).

I keep hair cos our Gurus asked us to simple as that if they asked me to keep ma nails i would have done that toooo!!!! S.crew all the scientific reasons and the personal reasons.! VJKK VJKF!!!

i think she is stringing you along and if she really wanted to be with you she would have ended it with this guy.......you are satisfying her emotional needs by talking to her everyday whilst the other guy is satisfying her physical needs....she is playing you and i think she likes the idea of having two guys after her!.....cut ur conversations with because you are probably very attached to her at the moment.....slowly cut ur calls and contact and then see how u feel about her.......do you really wana spend the rest of ur life with a woman who cant make the effort to be with you.....seems like ur doing all the running!!!

why do some sikhs have a "thing" against some sikhs who wear the "african" style turban...........i dont get it???......what about singhs who wear those style turbans BUT keep beards!...............people shouldnt judge before they get to know someone.......

e.g. if you do something wrong i.e. drink, drugs, sex befor marriage........when will god forgive you and how will you know.........or is it when your guilt disappears then you think in your mind that God has taken that pain away etc.......i was just thinkin randomly about this.

the women who get into these relationships arent so innocent they know full well what they are doing and when it hits the fans thats when they play the innocent victim card...........the truth is parents are raisin weak children otherwise they wouldnt have been taken advantage of by someone else.......the other problem is fair enough we let non sikhs into the gurdwara BUT now we allow non sikhs to marry sikhs in the gurdwara its becomin a joke.........sikhism is slowly dying cos not that many men and women are joinin the khalsa! sikhism is the youngest religion BUT it could also be the fastest to die if we dont preach sikhism......i sometimes dont know where people get the idea sikhism isnt a missionary religion (being lazy i guess) BUT Sri Guru Nanak Dev Ji went all over the place preachin the word of God........people confuse preachin the word of god with forced conversion etc........thats what we need to do preach sikhism we need more GOOD and STRONG MINDED people brought into sikhism!.......ALSO....someone else sed......its just simply true.....some sikh women will never be interested in turbanned men and some men wont being interested in keshdhari women THATS LIFE BUT NOT ALL men/women are like that..........so have faith.......these threads sometimes do more harm than raise awareness all it does to young sikh boys and girls is to place doubt in their minds that wont ever find a wife or husband cos of reading some other idiots story about their mistakes in life.....people forget that lots of singhs get married and they have no trouble findin a wife and likewise for sikh women!.......im jus rambling now so im off lol!

I would rather go to a secular court than a sharia court

Archbishop sparks Sharia law row Dr Williams made his comments in a BBC Radio interview Dr Williams interview Leading politicians have distanced themselves from the Archbishop of Canterbury's belief that some Sharia law in the UK seems "unavoidable". Gordon Brown's spokesman said the prime minister "believes that British laws should be based on British values". The Tories called the archbishop's remarks "unhelpful" and the Lib Dems said all must abide by the rule of law. Dr Rowan Williams said the UK had to "face up to the fact" some citizens do not relate to the British legal system. He said adopting parts of Islamic Sharia law could help social cohesion. For example, Muslims could choose to have marital disputes or financial matters dealt with in a Sharia court. 'Changes' But the prime minister's official spokesman said Sharia law could never be used as a justification for committing a breach of English law, nor could the principle of Sharia law be applied in a civil case. He added that Mr Brown had a good relationship with the archbishop, who was perfectly entitled to express his views. The spokesman also said: "There are instances where government has made changes - for example on stamp duty - but the general position is that Sharia cannot be used as justification for committing breaches of English law nor can its principles be used in civil courts." All British citizens must be subject to British laws developed through Parliament and the courts Baroness Warsi Conservatives Sharia law in the UKReligious courts already used Home Office Minister Tony McNulty said: "To ask us to fundamentally change the rule of law and to adopt Sharia law, I think, is fundamentally wrong." For the Conservatives, shadow community cohesion minister Baroness Warsi said the archbishop's comments were "unhelpful". "Dr Williams seems to be suggesting that there should be two systems of law, running alongside each other, almost parallel, and for people to be offered the choice of opting into one or the other," she told BBC News 24. "That is unacceptable. There has to be one system of law and there could not be an opt-out out of it." Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg said: "Whilst having an enormous amount of respect for Rowan Williams, I cannot agree with his conclusions on this issue. "Equality before the law is part of the glue that binds our society together. We cannot have a situation where there is one law for one person and different laws for another. "There is a huge difference between respecting people's right to follow their own beliefs and allowing them to excuse themselves from the rule of law." 'Sensational' Dr Williams said Muslims should not have to choose between "the stark alternatives of cultural loyalty or state loyalty". In an interview with BBC correspondent Christopher Landau, he argued this relied on Sharia law being better understood. At the moment, he said "sensational reporting of opinion polls" clouded the issue. READ THE FULL TEXT Islam in English law [54KB]Most computers will open this document automatically, but you may need Adobe Reader Download the reader here He stressed that "nobody in their right mind would want to see in this country the kind of inhumanity that's sometimes been associated with the practice of the law in some Islamic states; the extreme punishments, the attitudes to women as well". But Dr Williams said an approach to law which simply said "there's one law for everybody and that's all there is to be said, and anything else that commands your loyalty or allegiance is completely irrelevant in the processes of the courts - I think that's a bit of a danger". "There's a place for finding what would be a constructive accommodation with some aspects of Muslim law, as we already do with some other aspects of religious law." Dr Williams added: "What we don't want either, is I think, a stand-off, where the law squares up to people's religious consciences." "We don't either want a situation where, because there's no way of legally monitoring what communities do... people do what they like in private in such a way that that becomes another way of intensifying oppression inside a community." Multiculturalism 'divisive' Under English law, people may devise their own way to settle a dispute in front of an agreed third party as long as both sides agree to the process. Muslim Sharia courts and the Orthodox Jewish courts which already exist in the UK come into this category. HAVE YOUR SAY There is, and should only be, one law which covers all people and to suggest it can be otherwise is to seriously damage our rights Patricia London, UKSend us your comments Mohammed Shafiq, director of the Ramadhan Foundation, welcomed Dr Williams's comments, saying they "further underline the attempts by both our great faiths to build respect and tolerance". He added: "Sharia law for civil matters is something which has been introduced in some western countries with much success. I believe that Muslims would take huge comfort from the government allowing civil matters being resolved according to their faith." Ibrahim Mogra, of the Muslim Council of Britain, said: "We're looking at a very small aspect of Sharia for Muslim families when they choose to be governed with regards to their marriage, divorce, inheritance, custody of children and so forth." He added: "Let's debate this issue. It is very complex. It is not as straight forward as saying that we will have a system here." But Mark Pritchard, Tory MP for the Wrekin, in Shropshire, said the archbishop's comments were "naive and shocking" and he accused him of "pseudo-theological appeasement". He said: "The archbishop should be standing up for our Judeo-Christian principles that underpin British criminal law that have been hard fought for. "He should be concentrating on winning souls into the Church of England rather than getting involved in politics." http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/7233335.stm

i know this guy aint sikh BUT feel sori for him.......didnt realise that sometimes even men can be destroyed by their families: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7224109.stm The UK's first male-only refuge for those who have been forced into marriage is being considered. One victim tells of the dramatic effect the experience had on his life - and how he has come through it. Imran Rehman now helps men who have suffered forced marriage When Imran Rehman was 10, he was taken to Pakistan and found himself in the middle of an enormous family party. He remembers being told to sit next to a little girl in a fine dress. He did not understand why, but he and the little girl were, jointly, the centre of attention. They were showered with money and presents and they had garlands cast around their necks. Imran said: "I was just paying attention to the food and the money. I didn't know what was happening. I just thought it was a party." It was not until five years later - the year he sat his O-levels - that he was shown a photograph of that celebration - and he finally understood its significance. It had been his own engagement party. The little girl was his five-year-old first cousin. She was also to be his wife - whether he liked it or not. Locked up "It made me feel sick, knowing that was my engagement. I went off the rails. I got into the wrong crowd, I got into fights, I got expelled from two schools," he said. To get him to behave, his parents took measures that many people might see as extreme. They sent him to Pakistan, telling him it was so he could see the area where they had been born. For a while, he says, "it was nice to be on holiday". Then, one morning, he says, he was drugged, taken to a mosque in a deserted village, and imprisoned. Once there, he had shackles locked around his feet. "I was kept in a room, locked up. I had to sleep like that. I even had to eat, go to the bath, toilet, shackled like that, for 15 days." Emotional blackmail With the help of friends, he was eventually able to find his way back to the UK. When he got home, the only explanation he got from his family was it was his "rehabilitation". You're a man, you don't cry - if you cry, you're not supposed to show your tears Imran Rehman The pressure continued, perhaps to a lesser degree, for years, until something happened that finally made up his mind up that he had to get married. He said: "I was 24. I was working at Birmingham airport. I got a phone call to say one of my close relatives was extremely ill. I was the first person there, by their bedside. I said: 'What can I do to help?'" His poorly relative told him that if anything was to happen to her, it would be his fault, for not going to Pakistan to get married. He says he was emotionally blackmailed, and he felt that he had no choice. "So I went to Pakistan. I didn't want that on my head, you know," he said. Family disowned He married his cousin. But the marriage only lasted a month before Imran told his family it was over. He was told he had just two choices: "Stay with your wife, buy a house, have kids, live your life. Or get disowned." "So I left home," he said. It was the beginning of a seven-year severance from his family. He says he drifted from job to job, drank too much and struggled to deal with his trauma. "My family had disowned me. I just thought: 'I've got to stand on my own two feet and try and battle it out'. Which I couldn't understand how to do." 'Stressed out' He eventually found a support organisation called Karma Nirvana. At the time, this Derby-based self-help group was only for women. But they realised, through their dealings with Imran, that men were also vulnerable to becoming victims of honour-based violence. Now, Imran works with Karma Nirvana as a support worker for men who suffer in the same way he did. He says it is harder for men to seek help than women because men are not allowed to be open about their feelings. Before, when I was alone, I used to feel like I was the only man who was going through it Imran Rehman He said: "You're a man, you don't cry. If you cry, you're not supposed to show your tears. It really stressed me out. "I knew there was no support for me to go anywhere. Now, there is support out there for men. I encourage men to come forward. "What I tend to do is I tell my personal experiences to the men I work with, male victims. And believe me, they do open up." Imran now supports 36 men who have been victims of forced marriage or honour-based violence. He says helping them get over their problems is a way to help himself to stay positive. "It makes me feel good, you know? I know I'm not alone any more. Before, when I was alone, I used to feel like I was the only man who was going through it," he said. Now he knows there are others who have gone through what he has been through. And he hopes they will all get the kind of support that will help keep them safe from their families.

why has this thread been hijacked??? i asked a simple question where i specifically stated people shouldnt bring their own agendas into it......should have known better this IS sikh sangat after all!!!!! but to the other thanks for the advice ive decided to stick with the free flowing beard.....cos i always liked it like that just wanted management tips u know.

i dont think a singh should marry a singh......or kaur marrying a kaur....i mean the male and female compliment each other in marriage or am i wrong? anyway you dont need to get married in a gurdwara cos u could get married in a registry (civil ceremony).

go for it man!

i mean i wana know how singhs tie their beards under their chins? i understand the net bit.

the net? could you please elaborate....i mean i use gel but that isnt enough!

VJKK VJKF i want to tie my beard now and i want to know how to do it cos no one in ma family keeps beard etc.....so are there like videos out there (lol).....could anyone help me please......could people NOT start a discussion about "to tie or not to tie a beard" please

ok the thing is on this website and the people who visit it know the truth right? BUT these people target those sikh girls AND boys who question sikhi or have no knowledge to begin with......we have heard stories of how girls believe when i non-sikh (its not just muslims who target sikhs, christians and hindus etc do it too) tells them its ok to have sex before marriage in sikhism etc so we already know the question "what should we do?" but do we really have any answers because you know what not everybody is strong as some of the sikhs on this website and sometimes people make mistakes and need to be brought back into sikhi without feeling any shame! yes, stop sikhs leaving in the first place BUT also encourage those lost sikhs to come back

or u could jus walk everywhere and save the environment etc.........anyway im too busy to save the environment these days!