SHOGUN ASSASON

Thanks for clearing that up.

I have wondered this to, I thought the first four Gurus ceremonies took place in the Hindu tradition and from Guru Arjan dev ji onwards it was the Anand Karaj ceremony?

This is what I think. You should control lustful thoughts even for your wife. Your pursuing a discipline. For instance lets say you were separated from her on a business trip and there was other women there then your thoughts may lead you astray. This discipline has to be pursued even in marriage. You never know what circumstances may arise which will test you.

I have heard that this book albeit a few mistakes is well regarded but now ill probably buy it. You can read it online here. http://www.archive.o...age/n1/mode/2up A friend of mine also use to recommend any writings by SIRDAR KAPUR SINGH i think his essays are over in Sikhcolaition

Do you mean Cunningham?

Thanks for your replies. I don't know what to do right now? Im 26 and Im really impatient in life. Im a burden on my parents and everyone around me at the moment nothing is going right and everything I put my mind to just falls apart. I don't know whether to try to meet another girl, to try to get another business. All I want to do is stand up on my own two feet and not get dropped on my <banned word filter activated> every-time i try to do so. Im sorry to burden you all with my insignificant problems.

I dont understand anymore whats going on. I found out earlier on today that a business I was buying is looking likely to be falling through. My family were suppose to be signing contracts this thursday which got delayed but today I found out one of the parties is backing out [business is in a partnership]. To say the least im floored. I had accepted the fact that I was prob not going to get married but was thinking in the end it was ok as it was looking likely I was getting this business. Its been going on for 14 months so many things we have had to sort out to get this business but now neither are happening. Just feels as though all my ardaasa have gone unheard. I took two hukams one at the time the girl said no and one yday when i heard about the business falling through. But i need help understanding them I think I understand them but then Im not knowledgable. Pls help me make sense of this situation. I really don't understand anymore. This Shabad is by Guru Raam Daas Ji in Raag Bilaaval on Pannaa 800 Fourth Mehla: Anyone, from any class - Kh'shaatriya, Brahman, Soodra or Vaishya - can chant, and meditate on the Mantra of the Lord's Name. Worship the Guru, the True Guru, as the Supreme Lord God; serve Him constantly, all day and night. ||1|| O humble servants of the Lord, behold the True Guru with your eyes. Whatever you wish for, you shall receive, chanting the Word of the Lord's Name, under Guru's Instruction. ||1||Pause|| People think of many and various efforts, but that alone happens, which is to happen. All beings seek goodness for themselves, but what the Lord does - that may not be what we think and expect. ||2|| So renounce the clever intellect of your mind, O humble servants of the Lord, no matter how hard this may be. Night and day, meditate on the Naam, the Name of the Lord, Har, Har; accept the wisdom of the Guru, the True Guru. ||3|| Wisdom, balanced wisdom is in Your power, O Lord and Master; I am the instrument, and You are the player, O Primal Lord. O God, O Creator, Lord and Master of servant Nanak, as You wish, so do I speak. ||4||5|| and the 2nd Hukam Ang 258 PAUREE: MAMMA: The beggar is so ignorant - the Great Giver continues to give. He is All-knowing. Whatever He gives, He gives once and for all. O foolish mind, why do you complain, and cry out so loud? Whenever you ask for something, you ask for worldly things; no one has obtained happiness from these. If you must ask for a gift, then ask for the One Lord. Pls help.

Everything everyone says is true, I just keep thinking to myself Im not going to meet someone as good as that again, I dont feel at the moment that everything has happened for the best but that Im being punished. I dont know if I have got the energy to start again to look for someone. I've gone to the Gurudwara every day for three years to pull my life together I really thought this time God had heard me. Its the starting over again looking for someone that im not keen at all. It took over a dozen people just to get to one girl I could have seen myself marry. I know this is negative and thats not going to help my mind frame, I dont know I've never felt this mentally worn out before.

Im sorry i should have said I did re-contact her again, but she said it still doesn't feel right, so Im trying to accept the fact that it was probably not meant to be. But I just dont understand why God would bring me so close to getting what I want and then take it away from me. Its probably futile to even try to understand but Im hating this feeling of not knowing why its happened like this

I thank you all for your replies, I know everything your saying is right, and that I should just focus on my Sikhi and God but I am so angry right now I dont feel any love for Gods will, I honestly don't know what to do

I been contemplating whether or not to write a thread for a couple of weeks, I will keep it as brief a possible. I was introduced to a girl, I thought she was perfect the person for me I had my doubts, but I asked Guruji to settle them for me and he did, I would have said yes to her, it was all going well but she has ended it now her family said she had met me three times and she had to make a decision, in the end she said given how she felt having doubts she was going to say no. I just feel gutted I was so fed up before I was introduced to her I was adamant I wouldn't talk to any more people but everyone said I had too otherwise it looked bad that my pooaji had made the effort to introduce me to someone. I cant believe this has happened again, I have seen over 12 girls now and this was the only I would have said yes too. I keep thinking to myself that my worse fears are coming true Im going to end up dieing alone. I've felt so alone these last 3 years the only thing that seems I have learned from all this is im just alone in this world. Every time I think about how I feel and if I end up alone jus break down in tears. Im sorry to burden everyone with this im sure your fed up reading the same thing over and over again by people, but i honestly dont have anyone else to talk to right now. Im trying to hide from my parents how depressed I feel

What about an Estate Agent that sell you a shoddy house or contractors that do shoddy jobs? Do you wear Nikes made from leather in a sweatshop? Any person can act in a honest or fake way in what ever they do. But what your saying is that Fams like mine cannot be judged by their character in how they conduct themselves in the work they do but simply by what they sell which surpasses all other factors whos painting who with what brush? Your prob right I can face facts it probably is wrong. But maybe the Singhs and the Gurudwara committees should ask themselves that before they approach families like mine for donations. Anyway I was editing this post the guy above gives some good advice, your only going to see decent money once your business T/O's 10k a week because your working on 20%, and good money at 15-20k min T/O per week. My Fam have a takeaway aswell, you work at 45-60% P/M if you can T/O 4-5k a week its a decent/good living which is pretty average. 45% of 4k is the same as 20@10k. Pizzas are the easiest thing to sell, low level of skill, required, stay away from deliveries as much as you can they raise costs too much but if you do choose pizzas deliveries pretty much go hand in hand, I wouldnt bother with a chippy skill level is much higher. Electronics high levels of residual stock. I wanted to get into high brand fashion retail but its the same thing the profits are high but the risk is extreme.

None the less one would have to ask is there any job thats doesn't impinge in some way or the other on Sikh principles whether it be a little bit or a lot every job will in some way or the other to some degree. Everyone here will be engaged in some work which could be argued isn't suchi kamai Running a business or making a living is never that cut and dry ethically.

Any job you do will have some moral ambiguity involved where one questions whether it clashes with their religious values. Im not going to say selling alc and cigs is ok, my fam is in the same business, but I would question that most jobs will in some way challenge Sikh principles, the difference being the degree to which they do.

A Bitter Sweet Life - When doing right, goes very very wrong... http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0456912/ Gattaca - This is my favourite film. A very good book is Sidhaarta by Herman Hesse

Do it which ever way you think is best for you.

Err, there's absolutely nothing special about doing exercise in the morning on empty stomach. In fact, if you do hard exercise on an empty stomach you can actually hurt yourself!Please research before posting such claims, or if you do have research that supports your statement regarding exercising on an empty stomach then please provide it here so that I can learn something Theirs research all over the internet on doing AM Cardio on an empty stomach first thing in the morning and why its optimal for burning fat, you can look it up for yourself try any bodybuilding forum, elitefitness.com is a pretty good one...but I should have added a caveat to my advice its probably not the best way to start for beginners but it is the most effective.

One hour on the treadmill first thing in the morning before you eat. Recommend you cover the time up with a towel and an Ipod of course, listen to an album or make a playlist.

i think that is a highly judgemental and unfair stereotype. you havent met me. or about 100 other bibia i know. i agree that a large number of girls who live out do some extremely stupid things, but just be careful not to tar everyone with the same brush. some of us know how to behave with dignity and self respect. Like I said theres probably very few who actually are decent and have their self-respect intact while having lived out those are very rare though. I know one dastaar wearing singhni who used to come on these forums dont know if she still does, revealed she had slept with a non-sikh black guy. And I would ask which decent Sikh guy would even look at such a filthy woman? Women forget that their body is more scared than a guys as they will be mothers to future generations of Sikhs if its defiled by various guys especially non-sikh guys what sort of mother will she be? what sort of standards does she have? Yup trust is very hard especially these days trusting girls when it comes to forming a relationship it takes a long time for me. I don't want short term flings I want to settle down with true Kaur who I will be proud to call my wife and eventually mother to my kids and I'm guessing women want the same but in a guy. A decent Singh who is her soldier/protector, her only lover, provider and good father to her kids. There is a paradoxical duality here where we are masters of our own destiny (free will given by God) yet at the same time we are not (kismet). I dont know you but from reading your posts I would say one thing don't get too angry, disenchanted or judgmental about things like this. If the whole world was just Sikhs there would still be good ones and bad ones. But if you get too disenchanted your own life will spiral into the same paap. Im sorry if offended you.

What is good phaat for motivating oneself and having a more optimistic outlook, I been wallowing in my own negativity for too long now and need to take some proactive steps to cure this, any help will be appreciated

For a lot of sikhs [boys and girls] marrying/dating a sikh isn't a priority because their religion isn't a priority to them. Im on a few matrimonial sites because im looking to get married and maybe I think 40/50% of the profiles [men and women] have written their open to marrying a Sikh or Hindu, same for Hindu men and women. Your narrowing this problem down to just something we don't like our girls going with Muslims, but the problem is not any particular religious group but girls and guys don't feel its important to marry a sikh anymore. The crass assumptions about strength, appearance, don't hold any weight not to me anyway. Religion for most people these days is just a label. It means nothing.

Your all right, It probably means nothing.

Im sure I have read before in the SGGS'ji its unadvised to share religious experiences/dreams with others as you lose their value, and that's what I think I have done.

I feel like an <banned word filter activated> I shared a religious dream with some family members, this is the third one and thus far I have been unable to keep any of them to myself. I don't want to lose its value, is there anything I can do?

Read the Prince by Machiavelli