Romakaur

Waheguru ji ka khalsa Waheguru ji ki Fateh. Sadh sangat ji, I need your advice on an issue which my friend has recently come across in a Gurudwara. He is a non-sikh but believes in Dhan Sri Guru Granth Maharaj ji a lot. Not even a single day goes without him visiting the Gurudwara any where in the city. Yesterday when he went to Gurudwara, He took the chawar & was doing sewa to Maharaj ji. Suddenly, one sikh told him not to touch the chawar as he is non-sikh & that is not the maryada. My friend knows very much about Sikkhism got very angry on the fellow being. But as he was helpless, he just left he Gurudwara. Can you all tell me that a non-sikh cannot do Chawar to Maharaj ji. Is it only we sikhs who can touch it. My friend is very disheartened by all this & says sikhism allows all religion people to come bow their head in Gurudwara then why this differentiation. kindly advice us what right ir wrong. Bhool chuk maaf..

Waheguru ji ka khalsa Waheguru ji ki Fateh I have been to Hazoor Sahib Nanded, many times. Every year atleast 4-5 times. The room which you are talking is exactly the place which is Hazoor sahib all about. Dhan Sri Guru Gobind Singh ji Maharaj is there every moment. You can feel him there. Great is Giani Sant baba Kulwant singh ji who is blessed for his good karam that he is doing the Sewa of Saakshaat Dhan Sri Guru Gobind Singh ji Maharaj. The Sewa which he does is so tough to even imagine of. but he is lucky one to be there where he is today. This is not the story but the truth that Once one granthi out of arrogance, tried to step in the darbar(the room u are talking about), & believe me, we know their family, he had paralysis & died of it. His wife suffered a lot & died in a terrible state. His kids still have core. We know them, so this is not a built-up story. Many people tell that Giani Sant baba Kulwant singh ji should marry & then do this sewa but this sewa is so tough that you can't have your family life. All the electric work, even the gold which is on the walls should be kept by babaji. The shastra are cleaned & washed daily. This is not an easy job. There hundreds of them. Dhan are the people who get the darshan of babaji who goes in to the darbar sahib. I had darshan of 2 previous babajis also. They are great people born on this earth just to do sewa to Dhan Sri Guru Gobind Singh ji Maharaj. I can feel Dhan Sri Guru Gobind Singh ji Maharaj when im there. He is with you always. Thanks

Waheguru ji ka khalsa Waheguru ji ki Fateh. Thank you all for your support & advice. It has given me lot of encouragement & courage. My husband is a very good person, very religious. but he would never accept him to be a sikh neither the kids. I didn't talk to him directly about this, but spoke to him indirectly & came to know about this. Im in sikhi, doing paath daily. which he never minds but i have perform other rituals which they do at his house too. i have to take stand on it now. Lets see where Waheguru takes me from here. I have left everything on him now. Thank you all once again.

Waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki Fateh. As I mentioned earlier i have done some mistakes in life which can never be forgiven as I have married a non-sikh. but i have always respected my parents. I love them more than anyone else in this world. Today im most bothered about them only if i divorce my hubby how would they take it. I can't consult my hubby for this coz i don't have issues from his side. why will he leave his religion for me, as i won't do it for him. Now i realise all this. which is too late. Gloomy days of love were completely different. I don't know why I have made this out of my life. I feel hatred on myself, when i think what all crap why i have done. i don't understand how many things are running in my mind. As the Guest have told, there will be many people who will blame me,but truly speaking Im the one who needs to be blamed. I can tell u all one thing, The life which im living these days, is no less than a punishment. i was the princess in my guru's eyes but now my surname would be changed, that means im no more my guru's princess. i need courage now to talk to my hubby & my parents. i need guru kripa to make them understand. I know people would laugh at me, as I have no marital problems but thinking of seperation but now i feel these all are temporal relations. the true & only relation is the relation between my soul & the guru. I have to take a decision in life now. i would be doing that now. In few days i will talk to all of them. I got a lot of courage by posting my problem here. Thanks a lot to all of you. It's like my Guru is showing me the path in this way. Thank you once again.

Thanks veerji for ur excellent reply. It gave me lot of courage. Good that Guruji has not blessed me with kids yet, i don't want them to walk on a path other than sikhi. My Parents side family is completely into sikhi. people in society will talk all sorts of things. im not worried abt their talks but im worried how my parents will take it. i have already hurted them, they have accepted everything for my love. now if i do this, won't i be hurting them more. In india, children stay along with parents, if i get seperated then will my family take my responsibility not financially but still i would need their support. I can't see them listening to all sorts of talks from some foolish people of the society. Im not bothered about remarriage or anything now. just want to be in sikh rehat & be close to guruji. but the people around me will not allow me to live happily. in all this im just bothered about my parents & family. again i would get a bad name to them by divorcing. sometimes i feel i should end this life by committing suicide. but i don't want to die like a coward. i can never face my guru then. this would be a sin again. i must be frustrating you people with my problems, but i don't have anyone to talk to on this. there is no one to understand except my guru. but what shall i do. before marriage i thought that i can live without my family, love is everything. but once i got married i came to know the real meaning & importance of parents. they are next to God. Im really lucky Guruji gave me such a loving family. Infact whatever i wanted he gave me all that. I used to pray to him day & night just to make my parents accept this alliance & i should get married to him. he even gave me that. but i didn't realise that im asking a wrong thing to God. now im asking him please show me the path to lead to sikhi. why did all this happen to me. i want to rewind my life by 2 years. make all my mistakes clear. but i can't do it. i have to face this. i can't make anyone understand how i feel to be out of sikhi.im a practising sikh but dowm my heart i know that im married to a non-sikh where even i become a non-sikh. i just can't take that when some one says im not a sardarni anymore. i cry inside my heart. how can i leave my religion. i was born in the most beautiful religion of the world, but all gone in vain by my silly decisions of life. people may think that divorcing someone for this reason is very silly, but sadh sangat ji only i know how i feel when all this happens to me. when i see how females are discriminated from males, i feel ashamed on what i did. Thanks....

Thanks a lot for ur reply. If im into sikhi but still married to a non-sikh, the kids born & everything else wld be non-sikhi. i don't want to change my name from Kaur. if i come out of this marriage, how can i tell this to my parents. they wld be completely shattered. im in big dilemma. i should have thought about all this before my marriage, but its too late now. everything in love was so lovely, didn't give a thought to all this. whenever i see my sisters children, who are in sikhi, im scared that if ever i have kids i can't keep them like that. my hubby would be okay for me but he will never accept this for kids. I just can't think of the mundan of my kids. so im not even thinking of kids now. but i don't want to live life this way. i know i have committed a sin, but i want to clean them now. thanks..

Waheguru ji ka khalsa Waheguru ji ki fateh. Dear freinds, I need your advice. im in a very confused state of mind. please help me out. I'm a Professional working in a good position. Mine was a love marriage to a non-sikh after my parents accepted after lots of persuasion. my hubby is a real nice guy by heart. we love each other a lot. Its been 2 years since we got married. my family is completely into sikhi & even now i do paath & don't cut my hair as i was before marriage. but now i feel i have betrayed Guruji by marrying someone out of sikhi. I feel very guilty for it. these days when i see others who are married to sikhs i feel what mess i have done. now i feel i want to divorce him. but what about my family who loves me so much, what explanation can i give them & the society. its not a easy life for a divorcee. I want to come back to my sikhi..i feel bad many times in a day..when i have to do some hindu customs which i don't believe in. Now i feel im born in such a beautiful religion where male & female are regarded equal but what have i done of my life. My husband loves me a lot..but now i think love is a temporary feeling, the ultimate truth is being in your religion but sad thing i realised it very late. Im dying several times in a day. Please help me out. i need your help & advice very badly. Thanks